by Jacob Chance
“What’s up, D?” Shaw asks.
“Not much. It’s a great night for a fire.” I set the beer bottle in the cup holder on the arm of the chair.
“Having this firepit is killer. You guys did an amazing job building it. I’d rather be sitting out here than stuck inside with everyone,” Shaw tells me.
“I feel the same. Why are we having a party tonight anyway?”
Shaw carefully observes me. “What’s up with you? You’re different lately.”
“Did you ever do something that you regret?” I ask.
“I’ve done a lot of things I regret.” He laughs. “You need to be more specific. Are we talking small scale or large scale?”
“Have you ever hurt a girl? I’m talking about emotionally, not physically.”
He nods solemnly. “I hurt Maddie,” he shares.
“How did you get her to forgive you?”
“I think it was sheer luck.” He rubs his chin. “It took some time for her to believe I was genuinely sorry and a lot of convincing to prove how much I love her.”
“I fucked up with a girl when I was young and dumb. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but in hindsight, I made a huge mistake.”
“Have you told her you’re sorry?” Shaw asks.
“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s changed much between us. She still hates my guts.”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate. You can straddle that line too. Neither emotion is exclusive. She may act like she hates you, but I bet she’s trying to convince herself more than you realize.”
“That’s a good point,” I acknowledge.
“If she’s worth the effort it’ll take you to win her back, then go for it. If I had to do it all over again one hundred times to end up with Maddie, I would.” He stands. “Do you need another?” He gestures to my beer.
“No, I’m all set. Thanks, though.”
Shaw walks away, leaving me to my thoughts. Staring at the flames reminds me of the fiery color of Piper’s hair and her spitfire personality that matches. How can I get her to forgive me when I hardly ever see her?
There has to be a way I can put myself in her path. Maybe I can get Rachel to help me learn her class schedule. If she sees how serious I am about repairing the rift between us, maybe she’ll take pity on me and lend a hand.
Closing my eyes, I relax and enjoy the warmth of the fire. Quiet conversation happens around me and I don’t feel the need to contribute. Not even when a female voice I don’t recognize calls my name. I don’t want to put the effort in that a conversation takes. And the only woman I want to talk with is Piper. I’m happy thinking about her and coming up with ideas for how I can get her to forgive me.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here. I’m pretty sure I dozed off. Dragging my eyelids open, I find most of the other chairs are vacant, except the one next to me. Turning my head, I lock eyes with Piper. A slow smile spreads across my face. “Hi.”
She nibbles on her lower lip nervously. “Hi.”
“I didn’t think you were going to show up,” I say.
“I wasn’t sure I was going to either,” she admits.
“What made you decide to come?” I ask.
More nervous gnawing on her lip ensues, and I wonder if she’s going to ignore my question.
She draws in a breath as if she’s gathering courage. “You’re the reason I’m here.”
“I am?” I didn’t expect that reply from her.
“Mhm,” she hums. “Things have been less strained between us, and I like that. I want it to continue.”
“I like that too. What can I do to help the situation?”
Shifting her weight, she turns to look my way, resting her cheek on the back of the chair. “Maybe if we spend more time together it’ll help. We can make new memories and I’ll forget about the pain of the old ones.”
I visibly grimace. I hate that I ever caused her an ounce of hurt, but the past is behind us. Moving on to the here and now is a great idea. “Sounds good to me.”
We fall into silence while I wait for her to offer more details about her plan.
“That’s as far as I got,” she says.
“Oh. Okay. Should we schedule a time to hang out?” I suggest.
She smiles. “Yes. That’s exactly what we need to do.”
“What do you have in mind? We can go to dinner. We can go bowling. We can go for a hike. We can take a walk,” I list some ideas.
“Ugh. Don’t make me decide. You pick what we do.”
I need time to think this through. “How about we pick a day and time and I’ll surprise you?”
She nods vigorously. “That works. How about tomorrow night at six?”
“Dinner time, hmm. Is this your way of getting me to feed you?” I joke.
“Well… I do love food.” She grins.
“Program your number in and I’ll text you the details.” I hand her my phone. “I like the idea of being able to surprise you,” I tell her.
She adds her information, handing back my cell. “I’m interested to see what you come up with.”
Oh shit. Now I feel pressure to make it something fun.
Piper opens the door, smiling when she sees me. “Hi.” Stepping back, she invites me inside and locks up behind me.
“Hi.” I slip my sneakers off and onto the mat.
“You can put that in the kitchen,” Piper says, leading the way. Chewy comes running toward me as I set the bags I brought down on the counter. Bending down, I greet him. “Hey, boy. How’s it going?” I let him lick my face for a few seconds. “Damn that’s a fantastic haircut you’ve got there.” Rising, I lean over and press a kiss to Piper’s cheek. “Thanks for having me over.”
She holds her hands up. “Hey, I only did what you asked.”
“I would’ve had you over to the frat, but we’d have been badgered the entire time.” I unpack the groceries and takeout I brought. “I hope you’re in the mood for burgers and fries. I picked some up from Buzz’s Burger Joint.”
“It smells amazing,” she says. “What do you want to drink?” She opens the fridge. “There’s water, juice, and beer.”
“Water, please.”
“No beer?” She’s surprised at my choice.
“I had a few last night. I try not to drink too much.” I step over to the sink to wash my hands.
“Are you worried about becoming dependent on it?”
“No, it has more to do with hockey. I want to play the best I can, and alcohol isn’t the best thing to drink when it comes to training.” I dry off on the towel hanging on the drawer handle.
“Gotcha. I feel the same. I’ve never really liked the taste of most alcoholic drinks. I can tolerate margaritas and daiquiris.” She sets two bottles of water on the counter, along with plates and silverware. “Have a seat. Rachel and I usually eat our meals here instead of the living room.”
I slide onto one of the stools. “This works for me. Half the time at the frat, I balance my plate on my lap when I eat, so this is a big improvement.” I hand her one of the styrofoam containers and take the other for myself.
“This is the biggest burger I’ve ever seen,” she says.
“It’s going to be the best one you’ve ever had too.”
“You might be taking half of mine home with you. I eat a lot for a girl, but this is a lot even for my appetite.”
“Save room because we’re making an apple pie after dinner.”
“We are?”
“Yep, that’s the plan anyway,” I say.
“Have you baked a pie before?”
I shake my head. “No, but how hard can it be? Have you?”
“Nope.”
“I was hoping you had some experience with it. I guess we’ll have to look the instructions up. Isn’t everything online?”
Angling her head, she looks at me. “Why are we baking a pie?”
“I’ve been dying for homemade apple pie and Thanksgiving is still two month
s away. I can’t exactly run home to get one whenever I want. Also, I thought it was something we could do together and still be able to have a conversation at the same time.”
“Okay,” she agrees. “I’m game if you are. I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I do know how to peel apples. When I was younger I wouldn’t eat the skin.”
Our conversation halts the moment we both bite into our burgers. From that point on, it’s all about the serious business of eating. Aside from a few moans and groans of pure enjoyment, the silence is absolute.
I finish first, demolishing everything on my plate. Piper gives up with half of her burger still remaining.
“I can’t eat another bite, especially if we’re going to have pie later. Do you want to take this home?” She points at the remaining half. “I didn’t bite it.”
“Hell yeah. I wouldn’t care if you licked it. Nothing will stop me from eating that later tonight.”
She places the leftovers back in one of the containers. “Later tonight?”
“Yeah. If I don't have it then, one of the other guys will steal it from the fridge.”
“Even if you write your name on the container?”
I laugh. “Like that would stop them. They’re all mannerless savages. Anything goes in that house.”
She scrunches her nose up adorably. “Do you like living there?”
“I used to enjoy it more than I do now. As a freshman it was a lot of fun because there was always something going on. It kept me busy.” I turn to face her. “Living there helped take my mind off of how much I was missing you.”
Her brows rise, wrinkling her forehead. “Really?”
“Yes.”
She narrows her eyes in a calculating manner. “Don’t bullshit me, Donovan.” Her tone has some bite to it.
“I’m not. I have no reason to.”
“Be honest with me always.” Her words are part plea and part command. “If we’re going to be friends, that’s all I ask of you.”
“I promise. I will be.”
Together, we clear the counter and put the dishes in the dishwasher. She grabs two more bottles of water. “Let’s go sit on the couch.”
“That works for me. But I have to warn you, I might fall asleep after that meal.”
“Maybe we should nap before we make the pie?” she says.
I laugh. “Now we just sound lame.”
“You’re right, we do.” She takes one of the end seats on the couch and I choose the other. She turns the television on and selects the Bruins game. “How well do you know Clancy Wilde?”
“I know him well. He’s been to my house before. He’s a great guy.”
“He’s been to your house? How did that happen?”
“He’s close with my brother. When I was a senior in high school, Nolan had a few of his friends come to Vermont when my parents were out of town and Clancy was one of them. It was during winter break, so I was there too.”
“Wow, talk about lucky.”
“And then I played with him freshman year and lived at the frat with him.”
“You should’ve led with those two facts.”
“I think having him at my house is pretty impressive too,” I say.
“That’s a short-term thing, but playing on the same team with him and living in the same house as him is amazing.”
“I guess. He’s just a normal guy who makes mistakes like the rest of us.”
“But he looks so good doing it,” she says.
“Whatever,” I mutter, annoyed that she finds him so attractive.
The pace of the game picks up, grabbing our attention. The combination of a long day of classes, going to the gym, hockey practice, and a full stomach is too much to battle. My eyelids grow heavy, and the last thing I remember is Clancy scoring a goal to tie the game.
Opening my eyes, I’m disoriented in the dark. Taking in the surroundings, I notice the only light is coming from the television. Realizing I’m still at Piper’s, I turn my head and find her asleep on the other end of the couch.
Tugging my phone from my pocket, I see it’s one in the morning. Jesus. We both crashed hard. Did the burgers have a sedative in them?
I rise to my feet, stretching my arms over my head. I’m a little stiff from sleeping in a sitting up position. I’m still exhausted and can’t wait to fall into my bed.
Piper’s situated in an odd position. Do I leave her there or carry her to her bed? If she spends the night like this, she’ll be feeling the effects for days. I can’t let that happen to her.
Bending over, I scoop her up in my arms. I move toward the hallway and stop at the door with a small wooden sign that says Piper on it. At least I don’t have to wonder which room is hers.
Leaning down, I shift her weight toward my chest, allowing me to twist the knob and open the door. Her room is dark, but her curtains are open, allowing a glow from the street lights to shine in.
I safely deliver Piper to her bed, placing her on top of the covers. But what if she gets cold? I fold the other side of the comforter over, covering her from shoulders to toes. Pausing, I stare down at her. She looks so peaceful and angelic in her sleep. I smile thinking about what a spitfire she can be when she’s awake.
Leaving her room, I trek to the kitchen and grab the leftovers that I have every intention of devouring once I’m home.
Chewy stirs from where he was lying on the floor, making his way over to me. I scratch under his chin and say, “Take good care of your mom.” Slipping my shoes on, I step outside and close the door behind me, making sure the handle is locked.
Tonight didn’t go as planned, but I still had a great time. Hopefully Piper did too.
Chapter Eighteen
Piper
Hitting the button on my alarm, I end the obnoxious blaring sound. I roll to my back, stretching my arms and legs out straight. It takes me a few seconds to realize I’m fully dressed in what I had on last night and I’m lying on top of my comforter. I have no recollection of how I got to bed. The last thing I remember is watching the Bruins’ game with Donovan.
Did he carry me to bed? That’s the only explanation I can come up with. I know Rachel didn’t.
Climbing out of bed, I head into the bathroom to get ready for school.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m in the kitchen eating pancakes Rachel made. “These are delicious. What possessed you to cook breakfast?” I ask.
“I was up early and couldn’t get my brain to slow down. I tried to fall back to sleep, but it wasn’t happening. I figured I’d surprise the best roommate in the world with pancakes.”
“What do you want?” I tease.
“Now that you’ve asked…,” she quips.
“This is a great way to start my day. Maybe this is a good omen for our game tonight?”
“Let’s hope so,” Rachel says.
“What time did you get home last night?” I ask. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“That’s because you and Donovan were both snoozing on the couch.”
“You should’ve woke me up,” I tell her.
“Are you kidding me? You guys looked so cute, I didn’t want to ruin it. You were on separate ends of the couch like living, breathing bookends.”
“It’s not like we were aware we’d fallen asleep.”
“What time did you make your way into bed?” she asks.
“I have no idea. Donovan must’ve carried me there because I never woke up.”
She leans her chin on her fist. “Aww, that’s really sweet.”
“I know, right? I didn’t know he had it in him.” But that’s not exactly true. I saw that side of him when we were at hockey camp. I’ve just since convinced myself I imagined it.
“What’s going on with you two?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Who knows?”
“Don’t be vague with me.”
“We agreed to spend some time together and try to be friends.”
“Are you hoping for more than friendship?”
>
“No. Yes.” I sigh with a combination of frustration and indecision. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if you don’t know, how am I supposed to?” Rachel asks.
“It’s all too confusing.” I take a sip of coffee while I compose my thoughts. “I’ve hated him for so long. That’s what I did. It was part of my day-to-day routine. He was the big evil in my life.”
“And now it’s hard to hate him?” Rachel asks astutely.
“Yeah. It seems like each time we’re together, I wonder if I just made him the devil in our story.”
“He did hurt you, whether he meant to or not. You didn’t imagine him changing his mind about you guys being in a relationship.”
“He did. But maybe I held on to my anger for longer than I needed to. I’ve spent every day since I left that camp telling myself I despised him. That I was a fool for thinking he loved me. But here I am, still dealing with unresolved feelings for him. So, obviously, no matter how many times I’ve reminded myself I’m better off without him, a part of me refuses to let go of him. I don’t know if that means I’m in love or just plain stupid.”
“I’d say stupid,” Rachel drolls and then giggles. It’s the mood lightener I need. “You fell in love with Donovan and it was your first time feeling so strongly for someone. We never truly get over our first love. If it’s any consolation, I don’t think he’s gotten over you either.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a positive or a negative,” I reply.
“What if you focus on the friendship between you guys for now? At the least it will help you move past your anger and give you some resolution.”
“I think you’re right. We need to get to know one another all over again and be friends before we can ever think of moving on to more.”
“You’re older and wiser now. You’re not the same naive girl you were back then. Life has dealt you some shit and you survived and came out stronger.”
“Most of the time, I don’t feel very strong.”
“Well, you are. You’re an inspiration to me.”
Tears sting my eyes at her kind words. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I’m not going to cry, though. I’m not a little bitch,” I joke to lessen the ball of emotion lodged in my chest. Chewy nudges my leg with his cold nose. “I’m okay, Chew.” I push my plate over and lean down to pick him up. “But I’ll take all your kisses.” He goes to town, licking my chin and lips while I try to laugh without opening my mouth.