Finding You

by Stella Rainbow

  “We should be getting back now.” Scott looked up at the sky as he spoke, and I realized the sun would be setting soon. I sat up slowly, not wanting to leave the comforting warmth of his lap but knowing we needed to get going.

  We packed up everything and made our way to the cabin, sharing a comfortable silence. It didn’t take as long to get back, considering most of the hike was now downhill and easier to navigate.

  Since we were both pretty tired from the day, we ate the leftover sandwiches before taking turns at washing up. It was only 9 p.m. but we were both ready for bed.

  “Good night.” I said, standing in the bedroom doorway as Scott laid out his sleeping bag.

  “Night, Luke.” Scott gave him a worried smile but didn’t say anything else, so I returned his smile before getting into bed.

  I didn’t take my sleeping meds but it was mostly because I fell asleep immediately. But when I woke up within an hour with a racing heart, I knew that I wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon. I grabbed my pillow and blanket before padding into the living room. Scott was fast asleep and I smiled at his sleeping form before settling down on the couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, but I still felt better here than in the bedroom.

  My eyes found Scott again, and I matched my breathing to his and before I knew it, I was out again.

  14 | Scott

  I woke up to before the sun rose, but the hazy dawn light was enough for me to spot the bundle on the couch. It was only once I’d rubbed the sleep out of my eyes that I realized it was Luke. I distinctly remembered checking in on him before I fell asleep. He’d been sleeping peacefully on the bed. Did he have another nightmare? Was that why he was on the couch?

  I figured I’d get the answers once he was up, so I pushed the questions to the back of my mind for the moment and made my way to the bathroom. Once I was done taking care of business, showered and dressed for the day, I headed into the kitchen and set the coffee to brew. I grabbed the last of the eggs and toast to make another light breakfast.

  Just as I was plucking out the almost-burned toast from the age old toaster, Luke appeared in the doorway. His eyes zeroed in on the coffee maker and he quickly poured himself a mug before turning to look at me, a slight blush pinking his cheeks, his hair in a disarray from sleep. He was still wearing my t-shirt and I’d never seen anyone look more adorable than he did at that moment.

  “Good morning,” I greeted him as I plated the scrambled eggs and toast for the both us.

  “Morning,” Luke replied with a smile as he set aside his mug and made a mug for me the way I liked it.

  We set our breakfast and coffees on the table and got seated beside each other on the tiny breakfast bar. I couldn’t keep the questions away anymore, so I turned to face him as I said, “Did you sleep okay?”

  Luke gave me a shy smile before nodding.

  “Did you have another nightmare?”

  Luke frowned, a small v forming between his eyebrows and shook his head, “Not exactly. But I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Sorry.”

  “What for?”

  He shrugged as he sipped his coffee, “You let me have the bed and then I didn’t even sleep in it.”

  “It’s alright, Luke. Don’t worry about it. So, you slept better on the couch?”

  Luke blushed deeper, reddening from the tops of his cheeks to his neck as he looked down at his plate, “I, uh, I feel calmer...when you’re close by. I don’t know why, it’s kinda weird but I feel...safe when I’m around you.”

  My face was probably split in half with how widely I was smiling. It warmed my heart to think I could give Luke that. I knew he’d had a lot of horrible experiences before I met him, and if my presence helped him in anyway, then I was ready to stay by his side for as long as he needed me to.

  Slowly, I extended my hand and touched the top of his until he looked up at me, “I’m glad you feel safe around me, Lu.”

  Luke gave me a small smile, turned his hand palm up so he could hold mine and we ate our breakfast just like that, holding hands. It was awkward, but I loved it. His smile made me realize that I always wanted to see him smiling and I’d do absolutely anything to make sure that happened. It also reminded me that I needed to plan an awesome official first date for Luke, because as far as I understood, he’d never really had anyone date him like he deserved to, and I wanted to do that. I wanted to give him every experience he’d missed out on.

  I grinned as I got the perfect idea for a cliche yet fun date for Luke. I was pretty sure he’d love it. The one bonus point I had was that I already knew Luke so well, so I knew exactly what he liked.

  “What are you grinning at?” Luke’s amused voice pulled me out of my plans and I shook my head, grin still in place. “Nah, nothing.”

  Once we’d cleared up after breakfast, I realized Luke looked tired from the continuous hiking of the past two days. Considering we both had to go to work tomorrow, I figured it’d be a good idea to stay in today.

  We hadn’t brought the book we were reading together, so we ended up watching Friends on my iPad. Thank god I had downloaded a few episodes before we’d left. We started off sitting side by side on the couch, but by the third episode, I was sprawled on the couch sideways, with Luke snuggled up on top of me. I wasn’t sure exactly of how we ended up in that position, but I was glad we did. I curled my free arm around Luke and held him close, smiling when he sighed contentedly against my chest. It wasn’t long before we ended up falling asleep in each others arms, and even Janice’s scream of ‘oh my god’ wasn’t enough to keep me from drifting off.

  The sun was drifting lower on the west when I woke up again, sweaty and too warm from cuddling with Luke. I couldn’t bring myself to wake Luke up, but when I checked my watch, I realized we needed to get going soon if we wanted to make it home before the evening traffic hit the highways.

  “Hey, wake up. Luke?” I nudged his shoulder softly and Luke froze for a second before turning his head to look at me. “Oh. Did I fall asleep?”

  I chuckled at his sleep mussed look and ran my fingers through his hair, pushing them away from his forehead. “We both did. We gotta get going if we want to be home before the traffic hits.”

  “Oh,” Luke mumbled, processing my words for a minute before scrambling to his feet.

  “Do you want another coffee while you get changed and packed?”

  Luke nodded gratefully before glancing at the bedroom, “I’ll take a quick shower too, if that’s okay?”

  “Sure.” I walked into the kitchen and started the coffee maker before using the rest of the groceries to make a mismatched late lunch for us.

  Once we were done eating, we packed up all the garbage and added it in the trunk with our stuff before locking up the door.

  Luke took a last glance around with a soft smile before turning to look at me, “Thank you for bringing me here.” He walked over to me and pulled my hands into his before leaning up and pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

  “I loved everything that happened here and I’ll never forget this visit.”

  “We can come back anytime you want,” I promised and he gave me a wide smile before squeezing my hand and dropping it.

  “Home?” He asked, gesturing towards the waiting car.

  “Home,” I agreed. I’d loved everything that had happened here, too.

  15 | Luke

  I sat staring at my laptop screen, trying to make myself focus on the articles I was supposed to be editing. Instead, my mind kept drifting back to everything that happened over the weekend. It still felt like a dream. Did I really agree to date Scott? Did he really want to date me?

  I chewed my lower lip as I mulled over it and realized I needed to talk to someone about this instead of thinking about it again and again. I could talk to Angie, but then again, she wasn’t really one for romance and all the ‘sparkle-shit stuff’ as she put it. Then I remembered the one person who I could always trust to be a good listener and friend. I picked my ph
one off my desk and texted him.

  Luke: Hey, got time to have lunch with me?

  Brady: Oh my gee, is that u finally asking me out?

  Luke: *rolls eyes* I wanna talk to you about something.

  Brady: U know I always have time for u, hon. Drop by at the cafe lunch time, I’ll have ur fav lunch ready.

  Luke: Thanks. You’re a star. <3

  Smiling, I put my phone away and forced myself to focus on my work, pushing all thoughts of Scott into the back of my mind for the time being.

  When lunch time rolled around, I was happy with the amount of work I had managed to do despite my earlier distraction. Quickly emailing the edited version of an article, I turned off my laptop before getting up and stretching the kinks out of my back. I stuffed my phone in my pocket before making my way to the exit. I waved at Angie as I passed her desk and she raised her brow at me inquisitively.

  “Lunch with Brady,” I explained and she gave me a thumbs up before turning back to her screen, munching on a protein bar. I shook my head at her abysmal eating habits—that she won’t change, no matter how much we badger her—as I walked out of the office.

  Brady’s cafe, Bean Yourself, was just a few blocks away from our workplace and my favorite cafe in the city. Not just because it was owned by Brady, but because it was so cozy and friendly. Brady may be a tiny human, but his presence was enough to lighten up any room, so his cafe always felt warm and welcoming.

  I stepped into the cafe and breathed in the warm coffee, chocolate, caramel and vanilla scent that always managed to bring a smile to my face. Considering the cafe mostly served breakfast in terms of food—that is, if you don’t consider baked goods as possible lunch food—it wasn’t too crowded at the moment.

  The seating area of the cafe was a mismatch of wooden chairs and leather couches, with dark wooden coffee tables set between them. I looked over at the counter and spotted Brady working with one of the kids he employed part time. Most of the kids who worked at the cafe came from the NGO, since Brady spent most of his free time volunteering there and was quick to offer a job to whichever kid he connected with. If I hadn’t scored a job at the magazine, I’m sure I’d be working here too. And I definitely wouldn’t have minded, considering he was as good a boss as Mama D was. I waved at him when he saw me and he waved over to the seating area in a I’ll be right there, gesture.

  I took a seat on one of the corner tables and let my eyes take their fill of the baked goods I could see in the display unit. I spotted the chocolate muffins and realized this place would be even more appreciated by Scott since he had such a sweet tooth. Maybe I’d take some choco-chip cookies for him before I left.

  “Aw, look at that smile! You look gorgeous, hon.” Brady’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts as he bent forward to give me a peck on the cheek. I returned the gesture with a smile and Brady sat down opposite me, placing a mug of hot chocolate and a slice of his absolutely delicious lemon cake in front of me. It was a weird combination, but it worked for me.

  I smiled at Brady in thanks as I picked up my fork and dug in. He had a mug in his hand too, and he sipped his drink as he looked me over with that laser-scan gaze of his. Brady was a tiny human, almost a whole foot shorter than me, which coupled with his gorgeous looks, had led me to mistakenly call him a kid when we first met. He’d not been happy, of course, and I’d had to sit through a whole lecture that I remembered nothing of before he gave me a slice of chocolate cake and forgave me.

  Today, Brady’s short, blond hair was tipped with blue and green-brown highlights that matched the color of his eye shadow. Coupled with his green eyes and high cheekbones, it gave him an almost Fae look. He was dressed in a frilly blue sleeveless shirt that seemed to sparkle subtly whenever he moved, paired with brown shorts and what I could see where brown sandals. In one word, Brady looked magical. Which he kinda always did.

  Once I was done with my lunch, and had brought my mind on track I opened my mouth before closing it. Where did I start?

  Brady gave me an encouraging smile, switching into volunteer-Brady mode when he realized I needed a bit of nudging and I took a deep breath before blurting out, “Scott asked me out.”

  His eyes widened for a second before his lips broke out into a wide smile, “Your roommate?”

  I nodded and Brady squealed in the way only he could, dancing in his seat for a few moments before he straightened up, “And? Tell me everything!”

  So I did. I told him how close we’d grown over the past few months, about the hiking trip, my nightmare, me kissing him and then him asking me out.

  “Oh Luke, I’m so happy for you.”

  I nodded. I was too. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so happy but a part of me still wouldn’t let me believe in it. Believe that I could have this, that I deserved it. That I deserved Scott.

  “What’s the matter?”

  I swallowed and ran my finger along the edge of my mug as I spoke, “I’m scared.”

  Brady nodded in understanding before grabbing my hand, “I know it’s scary, hon. But this could be something good. And remember, unlike last time, you have people in your corner now. Me, Angie, Mama D. We’re all here for you. And if Scott ever even thinks about hurting you, I’ll be there to kick his ass.”

  I chuckled at the image, wondering how Scott would react when he found Brady’s tiny body throwing him onto his ass with one of his judo moves, even as the thought settled into my heart warmly. Brady was right. There were people I could turn to now. People who cared about me. I wasn’t alone anymore.

  “Or, you know, I’ll drive Angie over so she can kick his ass. I don’t think he could take me, honestly.”

  I laughed outright this time before squeezing Brady’s hand and giving him a grateful smile, “Thanks, Brady.”

  “Anytime, hon.”

  “Brady! Something’s wrong with coffee machine Duo!” A voice shouted across the cafe and Brady rolled his eyes. He’d named all of his coffee machines, a fact that always made me chuckle.

  “That’s my signal.” He said and I stood up to give him a hug before he left. He pressed a kiss against my forehead before giving me a smile, “Don’t be scared, yeah? We’re all here for you. I may not be the big brother you’d want, but I’ll be there with tissues, wine and bad movies if you need me.”

  “You’re the only kind of big bro I want, Brady. I love you.” I told him without letting him go.

  “Yeah, yeah. Now go before your boss scolds me for holding you up.” He gathered the dish and mugs and he was gone. I shook my head. He had no problem showering me with love and comfort, but do the same for him and he got all flustered.

  I waved him a goodbye and headed out, feeling a lot better about everything. It was only once I was seated at my desk again that I realized I’d forgotten to get the cookies for Scott. Oh well, I’ll just have to take him to the cafe sometime instead.

  16 | Scott

  An hour before my workday ended, I got a text from Mike asking me to drop into his office before I headed home. Since I was already done looking over all the files I had to review today, I turned off my computer and packed up before heading to Mike’s office, planning my date with Luke as I went. I had a pretty good idea of where I’d be taking him, all I needed was to do a bit of research before asking him.

  I knocked on the open door to Mike’s office before stepping in. His office was warm and cozy, despite the fact that it had the same gray-white modern theme as the rest of the office. There were a couple of Mia’s toys and coloring books lying on a shelf along with the client files for when she visited, while the walls and his desk were filled with pictures of his family, most taken by me, but there were a few where I was with them too, like the one from his and Roch’s wedding that sat on his desk.

  “Scott! Come sit,” Mike waved at the guest chair as I approached his desk before walking over and taking the other one.

  A few inches shorter than me, Mike was a third generation Japanese man. You could see hints
of his Japanese heritage in his high cheekbones and black hair, though his blue eyes were exactly like his grandmother’s. The first time I met his Grandpa, I thanked him for moving to the US because otherwise I wouldn’t have met Mike. Honestly, if it weren’t for Mike, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be as happy as I was now without him and his unwavering support when I’d needed it the most.

  “I’m so sorry I backed out of our trip last minute.”

  I smacked the top of his head as I rolled my eyes, “I’d be annoyed if you hadn’t backed out, idiot. Mia was hurt and she needed you. Simple as that.”

  Mike smiled sheepishly, “You’re right. So, did you end up going then?”

  “I did, but not alone,” I said as an involuntary smile spread across my face at the thought of my weekend.

  His eyes widened in realization, “Did you ask Luke to come with you?”

  I nodded and he grinned at whatever expression he saw on my face. “Please tell me you asked him out.”

  “I wasn’t going to. He’s been through a lot of shit and I didn’t want to scare him off, you know? And after he told me exactly what he’d been through the night before last, I resolved to just be his friend and support him. But then he kissed me. And started freaking out, so I ended up telling him that I liked him. It took a bit of convincing but yeah, he agreed to go out with me.”

  “Does that mean I’ll have to listen to even more talk about the absolutely-awesome-Luke?” Mike joked and I gave him the finger.

  “On a serious note, I’m happy for you. He gets your sexuality, right? I don’t want you getting hurt because he’s an idiot.”

  “He does, don’t worry. We talked about it. Honestly, thank you for backing out. I don’t know if all of this would’ve happened if we hadn’t gone.”