“I can’t stay. I wasn’t going to stay this late.” He scrunched his brows at me.
“What’s the hurry?” I shrugged. “I don’t want to stay Alfie, there’s stuff I have to do tomorrow.”
I had asked Will not to mention that I was leaving for the UK to anyone, only he and my housemates knew.
I didn’t want Alfie to know, I didn’t want him pulling some last minute stunt to confuse me further. I’d had sex with him again, showing my weakness around him. I needed to walk away now. I wanted him to feel the loss of me, bad as that was.
Perhaps he would realize what I meant to him, if anything, or learn to leave me alone. After persuading him that I really did have to go, I called a cab and sat downstairs. He didn’t come down to wait with me, I guessed he had fell asleep. The cab arrived, and I let myself out quietly, the door clicking softly behind me.
As we reached the junction, a passing car pulled onto his driveway. The blond girl from campus got out. Her head turned toward my cab, and I was sure she had seen me.
She seemed to let herself into his house. My heart sunk, as my tears flowed. I knew I wasn’t his, and he didn’t really care, but seeing her like that was like a punch to my heart.
I cried most of the night and by seven in the morning, my throat hurt; I was exhausted and emotionally numb. Will came to take me to the airport as I was just finishing dressing. I had pulled on my comfortable ‘flying jeans’ and a blue fitted t-shirt, and carried a blue sweater for the plane.
“Damn, you look rough, Lily, hard night?” Will blushed after he said this, and I gave him a watery smile.
“Can we not talk about it?”
He hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “All set?” I nodded yes. He’d taken Saffy back to his place, and I was pleased about that, because I didn’t need anything else to think about.
We traveled to the airport in silence. Will had sensed that I was fragile. He turned to me when he parked, a grave look on his face. “You are coming back aren’t you, Lily?” I shrugged.
“I need to work things out in my head Will.” He looked sadly at me and took my hand.
“I didn’t want you to be with him, but not because of me, Lily. He fucks with your mind.” I shrugged and shook my head.
“I know nothing about him, Will. He didn’t let me in at all. I think he’s seeing someone else. I’ve seen him around campus with a blond girl; they look close. Last night, when I was leaving in a cab, she arrived and let herself into his house.” Will squeezed my hand.
“Bastard.”
“How about you? Ever get to the bottom of Saffy’s insecurities?” I tried to change the subject.
“Nope, she won’t speak to me about it.” I bunched my brows again.
“I’ve screwed up so badly, Will, with you, Alfie, Saffy, Max; my life has become one huge cluster fuck, and I don’t know what to do.” I smirked.
“I think I need to come back, even if just to find out why these people we love are so fucked up.” He hugged me.
“I love you, Lily. In a non- sexual… wouldn’t dare want to fuck you … friend kind of way.” He chuckled. I hugged him hard.
“I love you too. I’m so going to miss you.”
I was about to switch off my cell, when a text beeped.
SEXPERT: I need to see you. There is something you need to know.
No shit… really? I turned the screen to Will. He twisted his lips. “Prick.”
Pink Lady: Save me a space.
I switched my cell off and threw it in my carry-on bag. Whatever Alfie had to say could wait. He had been given plenty of opportunity to talk to me, and I had gone a term without knowing whatever he wanted to say now. A few weeks more wouldn’t hurt, well not that much.
DEDICATION
Believe it or not, I talk…a lot, but I am not that great at expressing my gratitude to those who are important to me in words, but I hope my actions show this to them every day.
I would thank my husband, Peter for his patience and support in my crazy new venture. He has indulged me to take time out of my hectic life to keep going with my journey into creative writing. Thank you Pete, for picking up the slack at home, for your patience, allowing me to torture you by listening to the many ‘sound bites’ during the writing of this. I don’t think you need many words to tell you how I feel about you. I think you know already.
I would also like to thank Russ Cleary for his support and encouragement to keep going with my ideas, for being a sounding board, and for allowing me to torture him with the raw content of the book before it was completed. It was his idea that I share Alfie and Lily’s story with other readers.
Also, I would like to dedicate this to any one of the readers of this book, who wishes they had the confidence to put themselves out there, no matter what others think.
If you think that you can, you will, if you think that you can’t… it will never happen. This book came to fruition on one of my ‘I think I can days’.
It is never too late to be what you might have become. - George Eliot
Thank you to the readers of kindle for taking time to read my first attempt at story telling
Acknowledgements.
Russ Cleary Thank you for the great ebook Cover Design
Thank you to Kris Julie, Russ, Tracy, Vicky, Carole and Amy my Beta readers and for giving me their support by encouraging me to keep going.
www.klshandwick.com
If you enjoyed Enough Isn’t Everything the first book about Lily and Alfie’s journey
Make sure to look out for book two of the ‘Everything Trilogy’
Everything She Needs (Book #2)
This will be released on Kindle in late January 2014. If you would like to subscribe to be notified when this is released register your interest by clicking the link below.
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Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) Page 30