New Year, New Love

by Sherry Lewis

“Then why won’t you let me meet Tracy when she comes?”

  “I want you to,” he assured her. “Like I said, she just needs a little time to adjust—”

  “But Emilee and Christa don’t? Why don’t you admit it, Gabe? You don’t want to introduce us to Tracy because you’re not sure you’re going to stick around. Why rock the boat if it’s not necessary?”

  His jaw tightened and anger curled like a ball in his chest. “Is that what you really think of me?”

  The look on her face said it all.

  Pain and frustration combined to push him over the edge. “If you’re trying to get rid of me, at least be honest about why. Don’t keep using your daughters as your excuses.”

  Her face reddened dangerously. “I do not use my daughters,” she shouted, then made an effort to pull herself together. “This conversation is over.”

  He battled the urge to put his fist through her new wall. “You’re right. It’s pointless.” He looked around at the bedroom he’d built for her and let out an acid laugh. “I’ve got to hand it to you. Your timing is perfect.”

  Seething, he stormed from the room and pounded up the stairs. When he let himself into the garage, he slammed the door behind him. But it didn’t relieve the blind fury that thundered through his veins. And it sure didn’t heal the gaping wound where his heart had been only minutes before.

  “CALL HIM,” ADELLE MUMBLED around a mouthful of barbecued Thai pork.

  Sharon shoved her Oriental noodles and shredded vegetables around with her chopsticks and shook her head quickly. “No.”

  “Look,” Adelle said, frowning deeply. “I understand your concerns, but I think you’re overreacting a little.”

  “Well, I don’t,” Sharon snapped. Usually, she enjoyed eating at this restaurant, but today the scents of fish, pork and spices mixed with the strong smell of dishwashing soap made her slightly nauseated. She pushed away her bowl and took a sip of diet soda. “Can we not talk about this? All I want to do is forget about him and get on with my life.”

  “It’s been two months,” Adelle said, as if Sharon needed a reminder. “Have you forgotten about him?”

  “I could if you’d stop talking about him all the time,” Sharon lied. She hadn’t been able to put Gabe out of her mind for a single moment, but she had no intention of admitting that to Adelle. She took another drink of soda, but it landed in her stomach like a rock. “Why don’t we talk about the baby instead?”

  Adelle ran her hand over her softly rounded stomach. “Because the baby’s fine and so am I. You’re not.”

  “I need to get back to work,” Sharon said, desperate to change the subject. “Are you finished with your lunch?”

  Adelle glanced at her bowl. “We just got our food.” As if to make her point, she took another bite and gestured toward Sharon’s. “You’re not eating again?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “If you’d get rid of some of that stubborn pride of yours and talk to him, you’d get your appetite back.”

  “If I don’t, maybe I’ll lose a couple of pounds.” She brushed a lock of hair over her shoulder. “I’m serious, Adelle. I just want to forget about the whole thing.” She would forget about him, she’d be able to sleep again and she’d get her appetite back—eventually.

  Adelle took another bite of her lunch and shook her head while she chewed. “I’ve never known anybody so determined to be unhappy.”

  “I’m not determined to be unhappy.” Sharon tried to keep her voice low so they wouldn’t disturb the other diners. “Maybe it’s escaped your notice, but I’m trying to keep from being unhappy.”

  Adelle lowered her chopsticks to the table. “And maybe it’s escaped your notice, but you’ve gone to such great lengths to keep yourself from being unhappy that you’ve made yourself exactly that.” She dropped her voice and went on. “You think that by avoiding Gabe, by locking yourself away, you’re going to prevent heartache. But don’t you see—” she reached for Sharon’s hand “—whether or not you’re with him, you’ll still feel everything. I guarantee that there’ll be times when you laugh and times when you cry. Days when you’re happy and others when you’re miserable. You can’t hide from the emotions, Sharon. So if you have to feel them all anyway, wouldn’t you rather do it with the man you love than because you’re lonely?”

  The truth of that hit Sharon squarely. Her hand began to tremble and her heart thudded dangerously in her chest.

  Adelle looked as if she might say something more, then apparently changed her mind. She stirred her pork and noodles thoughtfully. “How are the girls?”

  “They’re fine.” It was another lie, but she didn’t want to admit how much Gabe’s absence hurt them.

  “And the college thing?”

  “Emilee’s put in applications to both Denver University and the University of Utah. We’ve agreed to see where she gets accepted and then go from there.”

  “Are they still dating as much as ever?”

  “Of course. That’s the one constant in my life.”

  Adelle leaned an elbow on the table and propped her chin in her hand. “With those two around, it’s no wonder you don’t think you need a life.”

  Sharon rolled her eyes. “Adelle—”

  “Just listen to me for once. You know what you should do?”

  “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.”

  Adelle placed her napkin on the table. “I think you’re right. You should put Gabe completely out of your mind and get involved with someone else.”

  “Not interested.” Sharon folded her own napkin, left it beside her nearly full bowl and slipped a tip for their server onto the table. “And I meant what I said earlier. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  Adelle shrugged and pushed to her feet. “Fine. Have it your way. Be alone forever if that’s what you want.”

  Sharon tugged the strap of her purse onto her shoulder and led the way toward the cashier. Adelle made it sound so simple, but it wasn’t simple. Not by a long shot.

  She pulled in a deep breath of fresh, clean air mixed with exhaust fumes and tar from some nearby road-construction project.

  Adelle followed her outside and snagged her arm. “Thanks for meeting me, even though I know your heart wasn’t in it.”

  Sharon managed a thin smile. “I’ll be all right, Adelle. Don’t worry about me.”

  “I do worry, though. I can’t help it.” Adelle pushed her bangs out of her face again. “I’m serious about what I said in there. You should start seeing other guys.”

  Sharon sighed softly and let her gaze travel over the parking lot. The truth was, she didn’t want to see other men. She hadn’t stopped loving Gabe yet. And she didn’t know if she ever would.

  GABE KEPT HIS BACK toward the dancing couples and waited while Ringo placed a platter holding a garlic burger and a sizzling mound of fries on the bar in front of him. He ordered another beer and pounded ketchup from the bottle onto his plate.

  It had been two months since his argument with Sharon. Two of the longest months of his life. The only good thing that had happened had been Tracy’s all-too-brief visit over spring break. Gabe had been pleased with the way he and his daughter had finally gotten to know each other. But then Tracy had left and Gabe had been lonelier than ever. He’d picked up the phone to call Sharon several times, but he’d managed to talk himself out of actually calling every time. She’d made herself perfectly clear. It was over. He just wished she’d been honest with herself about the reason.

  The band started a new song, something with a Caribbean flavor. Gabe sighed, irritated with the upbeat music, and took a bite of his burger. Behind him, the outside door swished open. He took a long drink and glanced over his shoulder. Late-afternoon sunlight spilled into the smoke-filled room and Jesse strode inside.

  Good old Jesse. A true friend. He’d never end their friendship over some imaginary problem.

  Jesse crossed to the bar and hitched himself onto a stool beside Gabe’s. “
You’re here again? What is this now, eight weeks in a row?”

  Gabe cocked an eyebrow at him. “You counting?”

  “Nope.” Jesse placed his order and dragged a bowl of peanuts closer. “You can do whatever you want. Makes no difference to me.”

  “Good.”

  Jesse munched for a few minutes, bobbing his head in time to the music. “Isn’t Tracy coming for the summer?”

  Gabe nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

  “Curiosity, buddy. Sheesh, you’re getting worse by the day.”

  “Wrong,” Gabe snapped. “I’m getting my head on straight again for the first time in years.”

  Jesse bit back a smile. “Of course you are. I can tell.”

  “Tracy and I got to know each other when she visited over spring break. Now I want to concentrate on making the summer great for her. Dad and I had a long conversation and he’s going to let me take over more of the business end of things. I’m going to start working out regularly at the gym. I’ve got plenty to do.”

  Jesse glanced at him. “Sounds like you’ve got everything under control.”

  “I do,” Gabe insisted.

  “Since you feel that way, maybe I should have Celia introduce you to a friend of hers I met the other night.”

  Gabe deepened his scowl. “Don’t bother. I’m through with women.”

  Jesse laughed. “Where have I heard that before?”

  “I mean it this time,” Gabe informed him.

  Jesse shifted on his stool and studied him for a second. “She really got to you, didn’t she?”

  Far more than Gabe wanted to admit, even to himself. “You couldn’t be more wrong,” he lied.

  “Oh. Sorry. I forgot. You’re always this cheerful.”

  “I’m tired, that’s all.”

  “Tired like you were after Helene kicked you out of the house.”

  Gabe shoved away his plate and fixed Jesse with a pointed glare. “If you can’t drop the subject—”

  Jesse didn’t let him finish. “No, I can’t. And you know why? Because I’m tired of watching you throw your life away and feel sorry for yourself. You’re so lovesick, anybody can see it. Why can’t you just admit that the woman broke your heart? Why can’t you swallow some of that stupid pride of yours and talk to her?”

  Gabe opened his mouth to protest, but Jesse was on a roll. He didn’t let Gabe get a word in edgewise.

  “You know what your problem is? You keep waiting for the perfect woman to show up. Somebody who’ll never make a mistake, but who’ll turn a blind eye to all of yours.”

  “She’s the one who told me to leave,” Gabe growled.

  “Yeah? Because she’s worried about you walking out on her. Her husband cheated on her, didn’t he? If you were any kind of man at all, you’d try to understand what’s bothering her.” Jesse shoved away the empty peanut bowl and met his gaze. “Instead, you decided to prove her right. If you love her, and I know you do, you’ll get over there and prove that you’re not going to abandon her when the going gets rough. If you’re not willing to do that, then maybe she was right to send you packing.”

  Gabe didn’t want to listen. The words hit too close to home. He balled his fists and clenched his jaw and let his anger override his common sense. “What are you, a relationship expert now? I don’t see you having any better luck with women than I have.”

  “Luck,” Jesse said dryly, “has nothing to do with it. I’ve been seeing Celia for a while now, and I’m trying to learn from my mistakes. Not repeat them. So, stay here and cry into your beer if you want to. I’m having dinner with Celia.” He tossed a bill on the counter and crossed the bar again, leaving Gabe alone with nothing but his thoughts for company.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “WHAT ARE WE GOING to do about it?” Emilee asked from the side of the pool. She kicked her feet gently in the cool water and let the sun kiss her face and shoulders.

  Christa stood inside the pool, up to her neck in water. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure their mom was still swimming laps and couldn’t hear them. “We’re not going to do anything about it. Think, Em. We nearly screwed everything up. Besides, he’ll come back.”

  Emilee couldn’t share her sister’s optimism. “When? It’s already been ages.”

  “It doesn’t matter when,” Christa said, tipping her head back to wet her hair again. “If they love each other, he’ll come back. It’s fate.”

  “I can’t wait for fate,” Emilee argued. She kicked her legs a little harder, trying to work off some of the frustration she felt whenever she thought about Gabe walking out on their mother. “It doesn’t matter that Mom’s the one who sent him away. If he was any kind of man at all, he’d come back to her.”

  “You know what?” Christa pulled herself out of the pool and sat, dripping wet, next to Emilee. “I think you feel guilty.”

  “Why should I feel guilty?”

  “Because they got into that stupid argument over you and college.”

  Emilee checked Sharon’s progress across the pool and ducked when some jerk decided to jump into the water over her head. “Okay, maybe I do. I never should have talked to him about it.”

  Christa mopped her face with her towel. “You know what, Em? If it hadn’t been that, it would have been something else. Mom wasn’t ready.”

  “Of course she was.”

  “No, she wasn’t. She still had a bunch of stuff to work through. And maybe he did, too.”

  “I still think we should try to find him. I’ll bet we could talk him into coming back.”

  “Yeah.” Christa snorted in derision. “And just think how that would make Mom feel.” She lowered her towel and stared into Emilee’s eyes. “We’re not doing anything. Nothing. Zip. Nada. We’re going to let fate take it from here.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. I’m serious, Emilee. If you start interfering, you’ll ruin it for them.”

  “What if he doesn’t come back?” Just the thought made her sick to her stomach.

  “He will.” Christa slid back into the water. “He will.”

  WHILE HE WAITED for Sharon to answer the door, Gabe clasped his hands together in front of him, unclasped them nervously and latched them behind his back. Dusk had already fallen, and shadows clustered in the corners of the porch and pooled on the sidewalk. Not too far away, someone’s dog barked. A kid shouted. Normal sounds for a summer’s evening in a subdivision, he supposed. But every noise made his nerves jump.

  He didn’t know what to expect. Sharon might easily turn him away, and he wouldn’t blame her. He’d let nerves keep him from making a commitment to anyone for too long.

  He raised his hand to ring the bell again, but before he could push the button, Emilee opened the door. The look of shock on her face didn’t surprise him. What did surprise him was the width of her smile.

  Christa’s greeting was even warmer. She came up behind Emilee and let out a shriek of delight. “I knew it. I knew you’d come back.” She reached past Emilee and tugged him through the door. “Come on in. I’ll get Mom.”

  Emilee didn’t move. She just stared at him, grinning, until Sharon appeared what felt like an eternity later.

  He’d expected a reserved coolness from Sharon. Anger, even. But he saw neither. Instead, she smiled tentatively and her expression mended his heart and told him he’d done the right thing by swallowing his pride.

  She sent Emilee and Christa into the other room, then gestured toward the living room. “This is a surprise. Please come in and have a seat.”

  He caught her gaze and held it. “How have you been?”

  She smiled. “Is that why you came?”

  He shook his head quickly. “No. Not exactly.” He crossed to the couch and sat at one end, foolishly hoping she’d sit on the other. She didn’t. Instead, she chose that wingback chair that closed in around her like a protective wall. “I came to talk to you. I’m sorry—”

  “I’m so glad you came,” she said, holding up both
hands to stop him. “I’ve been trying to get up the courage to call you for days.”

  He rocked back in his seat and stared at her. “You have?”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry, Gabe. I let fear and other people’s opinions convince me you’d eventually get tired of me and leave.”

  “I’d never get tired of you,” he assured her quietly.

  “How can you be sure?”

  “Because you’re an incredible woman. You’ve helped me be more honest about my feelings than I’ve ever been in my life.” He pushed to his feet and took a tentative step closer. “I fell head over heels in love with you, and that frightened me.”

  “Not as much as my loving you frightened me,” she said with a laugh. “That’s why I needed you to go away.”

  “You wanted me to leave because you love me?” His laugh faded to a chuckle. “I swear, I’ll never understand women.”

  “I don’t want you to understand women,” she said with a teasing smile. “But I hope you’ll try to understand me.” Her smile faded and her eyes darkened. “You scared me, Gabe. After Nick left, I vowed I’d never let another man get that close to me again.”

  “I’m not sure that’s the most flattering thing I’ve ever heard, but it’s probably true. And I didn’t think I could give you what you needed from a man. After you sent me away, I decided it would be kinder in the long run to just stay out of your life.”

  To his amazement, her smile returned. “So, what are we going to do? Spend the entire evening arguing about which of us is most dysfunctional?”

  “No. I love you. I need to spend the rest of my life with you. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

  She let out a pleased sigh. “Let me just say one thing first. I know the idea of home and family frightens you. But if you think I want to sit home night after night and never do anything, you’re sadly mistaken. And if you think I want you hovering around all the time bugging me, or that I’ll never want a moment alone, you don’t know me very well.” She touched his hand softly, hesitantly, but the touch held the promise of a lifetime. “Home and family is important to me, Gabe. But it’s not a prison. I’m not so needy or insecure that I can’t let you out of my sight once in a while. And I’m not so boring that I won’t want to join you from time to time.”