****
Mitch was transported from the prison in the Green Beast and Martha was to accompany them to the church. When Emily saw Mitch, she was taken aback by his appearance; she felt he was very handsome in her father’s suit.
They took Ethan’s car, with Martha driving the twenty-minute journey to the church downtown. Mitch sat in the front seat with Martha, while Ethan chatted quietly with Emily in the back.
When they arrived, Mitch assisted Ethan from the car and walked along side Emily into the church feeling like a free man. If it weren’t for the fact that Martha was in uniform, he would have felt more comfortable. They took a seat in the back, so Ethan wouldn’t have to walk so far, but Mitch also realized it would keep him from feeling that all eyes were on him. Several people greeted them as they walked by, and Mitch began to feel somewhat less conspicuous. Pastor Wilson led the congregation in prayer, then, the choir sang a very soothing song that touched Mitch’s heart. He looked at Emily and Ethan, then, at Martha. Suddenly, nothing else mattered to Mitch except his faith and his friends.
****
The next two days passed by slowly. Due to a sudden turn in Ethan’s health, he was put on an IV, which limited him to the lower floor of the house. Mitch was granted the remainder of his sentence off work at the dairy, but was allowed to continue to attend his training sessions with Gabe. Ethan still worked with him, but he was weak and often drifted into a sleepy state from the pain medication while they talked. Emily sat at his bedside day and night, fearing that he would leave her if she left the room.
****
At noon, Mitch returned to the den where Ethan now slept, when he overheard Emily talking to him just beyond the closed door.
“But Daddy, I don’t want to talk about your will,” Emily protested.
“Em, I need you to make Mitch understand why I have left him my horse. He can be a bit prideful, so don’t let him look a gift horse in the mouth, if you’ll pardon the pun.” Ethan let go of a weak laugh.
Outside the door, Mitch shook. His eyes filled with tears and his chest heaved with grief over his dying friend’s generosity. How could he accept such an expensive gift? On the other hand, if he didn’t accept it graciously, he would offend Ethan’s memory. He wiped his face, cleared his throat and knocked at the door.
Emily opened the door and smiled at Mitch.
“Hello. Please come in.”
Mitch went over to Ethan’s bedside and shook his hand, suppressing the lump that tried creeping up in his throat. “How are you this afternoon?”
“I guess I can’t complain too much. I’ve got a nice breeze coming in through my widow and the birds are chirping away.”
Mitch was happy to see his friend in such high spirits. “Things are running smoothly down at the dairy, so I thought I’d spend the rest of the afternoon with you going over the last of the paperwork.”
“Son, I think you just about know all you need to in order to run things in my absence. I’m proud of the progress you’ve made.” Ethan grabbed his side, wincing from the pain.
Mitch looked down, attempting to hide the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes and cleared his throat. It upset him to hear Ethan talk about his eminent death in such a casual manner. He sat in the chair at the desk and opened the folders in his hands trying to busy himself long enough to gain composure.
Ethan sat up a little more in his bed. “Mitch, why don’t you bring that chair over here and set it next to the bed so I can help you work on that stuff.”
Mitch nodded and moved the chair, taking in a deep breath before looking Ethan in the eye.
****
By Friday, Mitch had finished his training with Gabe. Emily continued to sit at her father’s bedside except for the short breaks that Mitch took over for her. Neither nurse left his side for too long because he needed constant monitoring. Emily and Mitch talked and held one another during times out of the room for nursing care, but there wasn’t much said while in the room. Being too weak to do much talking, Emily and Mitch were grateful for the time they had with him before he got too ill. Gabe had made arrangements with the warden for Mitch to be required to be present at the prison only during count times twice daily. On Monday, he would have his meeting with the parole board, and on Tuesday he would walk out of the prison for good. Suddenly, Tuesday seemed so very far away and unimportant to Mitch as he sat at his dying friend’s bedside.
Ethan stirred. “Water.”
Mitch jumped up to help, but Mrs. Olson already had it covered. He watched the nurse help Ethan drink clumsily from the cup, feeling quite useless.
Emily looked at Mitch with weary eyes. “You look like you could use a walk.”
Mrs. Olson looked at them. “Why don’t you both take a walk? I need to give him another injection and a sponge bath. I shouldn’t be any more than thirty minutes. Take your cell phone, Emily, and I’ll call you if there’s any change.”
They both stood up reluctantly as the nurse shooed them from the room with her hand. In the hall, Emily hesitated.
“Come on, Emily, he’ll be okay until you get back in there.”
She broke down, releasing fresh tears. “I don’t know if I can go through with this. I know my father is going through so much right now, and I feel selfish for worrying about my own feelings, but I don’t want to lose him.”
Mitch reached for her and she let him hold her—the very thing that had begun to make her feel safe. There was no question of her love for Mitch, but she had not yet told him. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into his blue eyes, but could not bring herself to saying the words to him.
****
On Sunday afternoon, Mitch was busy delivering his third calf for the day, when Gabe called for him over the intercom. When he was through, he went to the phone and called the office to see what was needed of him. Mitch hung up the phone, rinsed his hands in the sink with bleach water, and then, ran to the house, allowing his hands to dry in the wind.
Forgetting that Ethan was in the den, Mitch started up the stairs, until he heard Emily calling him.
“Mitch, is that you?”
He turned and ran back down the steps and headed toward the den. On the other side of the door, he found Emily crying. Mitch sat down in the chair opposite Emily and bowed his head and began to pray—the only thing left that he could do. Ethan grasped his hand, causing Mitch to let loose his tears that had been anxiously waiting for his consent. Mitch called on God for strength for the three of them, while Mrs. Manney busied herself about the room.
When Mitch finished his prayer, Emily handed him a sheet of paper with DNR in large, capital letters on the top of the form. As he scanned through the page, he realized he was looking at a form forbidding the nursing staff to resuscitate Ethan in an emergency. At the bottom he found that Ethan himself had signed the form five days ago. His eyes slowly left the paper and met with Emily’s. He understood the full impact of what he had just read and looked to Emily for confirmation that she, too, understood. Her eyes filled with tears, but she wept quietly for her father’s sake, who, had begun to stir from his restless sleep.
Ethan raised a weak hand to his daughter.
“Don’t cry, Emily. I’m going home to be with your mother in heaven. Won’t she be surprised to see me there?”
Emily took his hand and held it to her dampened cheek.
“Tell her all about me, will you?”
“I’ll have to tell her how beautiful you turned out to be. I love you, Em.” Ethan smiled a weak smile.
“I love you too, Daddy.”
Ethan took his last breath and closed his eyes, his smile unfading.
Mitch had been listening with a twinge of envy in his heart since he had lost his own parents. It saddened him that though they were alive, he had mourned the loss of them nearly his entire life. And although Ethan had filled that void for the last three years, he had now lost him, too.
Emily smiled through her tears. She recalled a time when
she was a little girl that her father would tell her that she was as beautiful as her mother. How happy that made her then. Now, she embraced a new kind of happiness—an unselfish sort from knowing her earthly father would live eternally in heaven and in her heart.
SEVEN
A PLACE TO CALL HOME
Mitch watched the ripples in the pool reflect the blue from the sky as he sat in the shade of the table umbrella. He ran a hand through his thick hair and began to pace the pool deck while he waited for Emily to spend some time with her father before the ambulance left. He knew Emily would need him once Ethan was taken away, but for now, he cried for himself—for his own feelings over losing Ethan; a friend closer than his own father had been to him.
Emily approached Mitch, interrupting his thoughts. With his back to her, she touched his shoulder lightly. He turned around; his red face mirrored hers.
Mitch pulled her close, unwilling to release her despite the consequences; his emotions taking over in the absence of reason. Trembling, Emily clenched the back of his shirt in her fists as he held her close to his heart. She felt fearful that if she let go, he too, would slip from her grasp. They both unleashed their sorrow with fresh tears that they hoped would serve to relieve them from their deep mourning.
Mitch put his mouth close to Emily’s ear and whispered to her. “I have to go back to the prison. I go before the parole board first thing in the morning. I don’t want to leave you like this, but I’m afraid I must go this one last time.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
Mitch lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “If I could stay, I would. Even if your father was still with us, I’d still be required to be at the prison tonight. I wish things could be different. I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Mitch.” She pressed her lips to his, but he pulled away from her.
Her confession momentarily shocked him, but his logic took over. “No, Emily—I can’t. I’m not yet a free man. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I kissed you now. In two days, I will be free to start a life with you, which is what I want more than ever. Please don’t be hurt by this decision, because I love you so much. I intend to honor your father’s wishes and this is not the way—not like this.”
Emily wiped a tear from her face. “I don’t like it, but I understand. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He smiled, gave her a squeeze and left her.
****
Mitch lay in his bunk, staring at the moon from his tiny window near the ceiling of his prison cell. He had mixed feelings about going before the parole board and he wasn’t looking forward to going to Ethan’s funeral on Tuesday morning. It pleased him that the service would be held at the same church as Emily’s mother’s had because it made Emily happy.
****
The following day was a blur. Mitch had gone before the parole board without a hitch and was finally on his way out of prison. He walked slowly past the guard station to the walkway that led to the gate he had longed to walk through for three long years. He paused for a moment, staring up at the razor-wire fence that had held him hostage for so long. It no longer held the threat that it had, nor did it confine him. He knew that freedom waited for him, just beyond the gate, but he hesitated to walk through. Though he couldn’t wait to be free, fear rose up in him over leaving what had become familiar to him. Then he thought of Emily and he said a quick prayer, asking God for the courage to start a new life as he walked through the gate, savoring the feeling of freedom.
Gabe brought him back to the house to change into a rented suit for the funeral. He rode in the Limousine with Gabe and Emily, whom he hadn’t talked to since Sunday night. He looked at her as she dabbed her eyes with her handkerchief. He wanted so much to console her, but he knew this was not the time. Instead, he held her hand as they rode to the cemetery.
****
After the funeral, Gabe walked with Mitch to the guest house. “I hope you’ll be comfortable here. I’ve taken the liberty of stocking the refrigerator and pantry. I even picked up some extra clothes for you—I hope they fit.”
“Thank you, Gabe. I’ll need to make some arrangements to get my things at my father’s house.”
“You can take the car first thing in the morning—you do have a driver’s license, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. But I’m not insured.” Mitch shook his head in discouragement.
“As an employee of this company, you’re insured for any vehicle—not just the farm equipment.” Gabe turned on his heels. “Mitch, I’m glad you were able to go to the funeral. Congratulations on being a free man!”
“Thanks Gabe. I’ll see you in the morning.”
****
The long drive to his father’s house allowed Mitch time to think. He was nervous about seeing his father for the first time in three years. Knowing that his father wanted nothing to do with him instilled new fear in him—the way he felt as a child. He turned on the radio in Ethan’s car, trying to find a Christian station. He knew if he praised a little, it would ease his mind.
When Mitch turned into the long driveway to his father’s house, he surveyed the property. The lawn that he used to care for had become tall and overgrown. The paint on the house was chipped and the roof was missing some shingles. The barn was equally weathered and his father’s truck was badly dented. He said a quick prayer as he stepped onto the loose floorboards of the porch. As he knocked, he noticed the front windows were cracked and broken. He waited. No one answered so he knocked harder, unsure if he wanted an answer.
The door opened and Mitch’s father leaned on the casing with a bottle of whiskey in one hand. He had aged far more than Mitch had expected—his thinning, grey hair and sunken eyes took him by surprise.
“Whatever it is you’re selling; I’m not buying,” said the man in front of him.
“Dad, it’s me, Mitch.”
“Mitch! What’d you do boy, rob a bank?”
“I just got out of prison. I’d like to get my things.”
“Where’d you get that fancy car?”
“It belongs to my employer.”
“Did you steal it?”
“No. Can I get my things from my room?”
“You don’t live here anymore. I told that warden from the prison I didn’t want you coming back here.”
“I’m not going to live here, but I would like my things.”
“I put all your stuff out in the barn. Get it and get off my property.”
“Dad, I want you to know that I’m sorry for causing you so much grief. And I forgive you.” Mitch turned on his heels and left the porch.
“You forgive me?” his father yelled. “What did I ever do to you, boy? You were nothing but trouble ever since you entered this world.”
His father’s words stung, but Mitch walked away toward the barn, trying his best to ignore the harsh words.
Inside the barn, he found several boxes, which he carried to the car. He stood in the driveway looking one last time at the house and spotted his father standing in the window. He waved, but the old man turned away.
The further he got from his father’s house, the more his pain eased. It angered him that his father could still bring a tear to his eyes. He shrugged it off as leftover emotions over Ethan’s passing, and drove the car toward the new home and new life that waited for him at the dairy farm.
At the guest house, Mitch unloaded the boxes from the car. As he began to unpack, he came across a large shoe-box at the bottom of his first box. It was a very old, women’s shoe-box, and he wondered why it had been included in his things—until he opened it. The box was stuffed with old letters from his mother and they were addressed to him! They were postmarked as far back as one week after she left. Why had his father kept them from him? And why did he decide to give them to him, now? Mitch began to get angry. Tears filled his eyes as he prayed for help in forgiving his father for causing him so much pain.
Mitch glanced again at the return address on each envelope. If he
was correct, that address was just down the road from the dairy. He ran to the main house and knocked on the kitchen door.
“Emily,” he yelled excitedly.
Emily opened the door. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing—I think! Where is this?” He shoved the envelope in her hand.
She studied it for a moment. “I think it isn’t too far from here. The other side of the lake entrance, why?”
“I can’t believe she lived this close to me all these years.”
“Who?”
Mitch was so excited; he scooped Emily up in his arms.
“My mother wrote to me!”
“What did she say? How did she find you after all these years?”
“I don’t know what she wrote because I haven’t opened any of them yet! She wrote to me from the time she left when I was fourteen until—well I don’t know when they stopped—I haven’t looked yet!”
“Do you think she still lives at that address? Maybe you should open them.”
“Will you help me?”
“They’re probably personal. Don’t you want to open them by yourself?”
Mitch kissed her on the mouth. “I’m a free man, now and I love you! I want you to be part of the rest of my life.” He knelt before her. “All I have to offer you is my love, but I’m hoping that’ll be enough. Will you honor me by becoming my wife?”
She knelt in front of him, kissing him passionately on the mouth. “I love you, Mitch and I would like nothing more than to be your wife.”
Mitch stood to his feet, bringing Emily with him. He twirled her happily as they laughed a good hearty laugh.
****
Mitch worked in haste to get to the end of his workday. This was the day he would see his mother and sister for the first time in almost fourteen years. Emily worked beside him, eager to finish the days’ milking. Mitch ran the hot water through the lines just before they left.
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