by Penelope Sky
I held my breath, unsure if I heard him right.
“I didn’t realize how he felt about you because he never told me. And when I figured it out...I realized how much I fucked up. I just want you to know I never would have crossed that line if I’d known the line was there to begin with. My brother and I butt heads a lot, but that’s a sacred thing we don’t touch. If I loved a woman, he would teacher her like a goddamn queen.”
I still couldn’t breathe. I hard what he said but I couldn’t accept it. It was so unexpected. “He told you he loved me...?”
“Well, not exactly. But he made it pretty clear.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. Crow has never been in love before. Neither have I. So, it took me some time to figure it out.”
I finally took a breath, my chest aching after remaining still for so long. My heart kicked into overdrive and my palms grew sweaty. Everything in the room seemed brighter, more vibrant and beautiful.
“And I know you love him too. I tried to tell him that but he wouldn’t believe me.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “Not sure. Maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know. He’s still pissed at me for what I did so he’s not as open as he used to be. He’s always been a private guy but now he’s over the top. Annoying.”
I stared at the gun in my hand and felt my finger leave the trigger. Cane wasn’t here to hurt me so there was no point in holding the weapons. I set it on the cushion beside me.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say that. I know what I did was unforgiveable but maybe we can move forward and find a new beginning somewhere down the road. I promise I won’t hurt you again.”
Maybe it was foolish, but I believed him. “I think we can find some common ground.” If it were anyone else, I’d say no. But Cane was Crow’s last family member in the world. I’d rather make it work than place a wedge between them.
“Great.” He slapped his thighs before he stood up. “I can tell you’re good for him. You’re not emotional like most women.”
“Excuse me?” I stood up and put my hands on my hips. “Emotional?”
“Yeah. No woman would be able to let that go like you did. Women hold onto things and never forget. But you’re focused on moving forward. That’s how generals think. That’s how dictators think.”
“Well, I’m definitely not a dictator.”
“Give it time.” He winked before he walked to the front door. “Happy humping.” He turned toward the kitchen near the staircase. “See ya, Lars.” He waved before he walked out.
I grabbed the gun from the couch and prepared to return it to the bedroom.
Lars appeared, wearing his tuxedo like always. “Mr. Barsetti left?”
“Yep.” I held the gun at my side and ignited the safety.
“The two of you were able to work things out?”
I realized how crazy it sounded when someone else said it. “I guess so.”
“I know Cane’s behavior was unacceptable, but he truly is an honorable man.”
Somehow, I knew he was right. “I can tell.”
“They’ve both lost so many people. I used to be the family butler when his parents were still alive. Good people. And Vanessa...she was something special.” His eyes trailed to the floor and he released a sigh of heartbreak.
Hearing her name made me ache for someone I didn’t know. “I can tell it’s hard for him.”
“Those two were inseparable. I’d say Mr. Barsetti was closer to Vanessa than anyone else. When she passed away he never grieved. But I know that’s only because he’s so utterly heartbroken.”
“He’s pretty closed off.”
“I know.” He turned his gaze back to me. “He’s been much happier now. Haven’t seen him smile since he was a child.” He gave me a knowing look before he turned back to the kitchen. “And I think I know why.”
***
“Your master is home.” He walked into the bedroom like a king and removed his tie. His eyes weren’t exhausted from a long day at the office. In fact, they looked rejuvenated.
“And your slave has been waiting.” I’d never allowed him to call me that before, and I certainly never called myself that. But now the connotation didn’t seem offensive. I wanted to be owned by him—completely and utterly. I’d already given myself to him in the most profound way. Freedom knocked on my own door but I didn’t answer.
He stopped when he was in the center of the room, his hands moving to his jacket. He heard what I said and savored the echo. His jacket fell to the floor before he unbuttoned his shirt. “Missed me?”
“So much.”
He let his shirt fall to the floor before he reached the bed. He stood with his knees against the frame, his chiseled chest strong and powerful. Even in the dark, the lines intersecting the muscles was prominent. He was all strength and no weakness.
I rose to my knees and ran my hands up his chest, feeling the smooth skin under the grooves of muscle. My nails scratched him lightly because I knew he enjoyed the pain. “Did you miss me?”
“We both did.” His hands went to my ass and kneaded it, feeling my cheeks and pulling them apart. He pressed his cock into my stomach, his erection defined in his boxers.
“I don’t want you to work tomorrow.” I wanted to wake up beside him and stay there all day. I wanted to make love and never stop. I wanted to feel him inside me constantly, claiming me for the rest of time.
He lost his resolve as he squeezed my ass in his bare hands. “No work tomorrow.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my face close to his. “Now show me how much you missed me.”
He immediately responded to the command, his eyes darkened and his body tensing. He gripped my ass harder then played with my thong. His mouth moved along my jaw without kissing me until he reached my neck. He gave me a small kiss on the warm skin, teasing me relentlessly. His fingers curved around my ass until they found my entrance. Slowly, they pressed into my slit and felt my moisture greet him. He moaned quietly against my ear. “You got started without me.”
“Maybe a little foreplay...”
His face moved back to mine. “Think of me?”
“Always.”
His eyes darkened in approval before he grabbed me and threw me on the bed. My back hit the mattress and my knees fell apart. He stripped off his trousers and boxers before he crawled on top of me, his hard cock oozing with pre-cum. He positioned himself on top of me and immediately shoved his long length inside me, stretching me wide apart and making me cry out. “You’re not allowed to think of anyone else but me—ever.”
That was a command I could obey. “Yes, master.”
***
We sat together in his study and read before the fire. He sat alone in his armchair with a decanter of brandy beside him. A hardback book was in his hands, and he read with his fingers resting against his bottom lip. The thoughtful expression made him look even sexier.
I tried to focus on my book but my eyes kept returning to him. I’d rather read him than the story in my hands. The flames crackled in the hearth and supplied the soothing music. He always had a fire going in whatever room he occupied—even in the midst of summer.
My eyes turned to the paintings on the wall, the ones I’d seen before. They were unusual because they were made of buttons and paint. On the one occasion I was going to ask about them, something else came up. “Crow?”
“Hmm?” He didn’t take his eyes off the page. His ankle rested on the opposite knee and he wore his gray sweats with a black t-shirt, his strong chest filling out the fabric.
“Can I ask you something?”
He pulled his gaze away from the story and stared at me.
I turned to the paintings on the wall. “Who made those?” I suspected it was someone he knew. They didn’t match the rest of the artwork in the house, and they didn’t match Crow’s taste either.
He shut the book and rested it on his thigh. His eyes were glued to the first
painting, the one with the vineyards fading into the background. With a stoic expression, he stared. His eyes didn’t darken or lighten in response. Whatever he was thinking was too private to share. “Vanessa.”
I watched his face, seeing the sadness enter his eyes at her memory. He looked resigned, defeated. “They’re beautiful.” Now I wished I hadn’t asked him this dreaded question. It brought him more pain than he was willing to show.
“She was an artist. Ever since she was little, she liked to paint. When she lived with me she spent her time on the balcony painting the scenery before her. And without asking, she put up the pieces around the house. They weren’t my to my taste but I never told her to take them down. After a few weeks, I found myself staring at them endlessly. Whenever I was in a bad mood they made me feel better. I’d come to accept them—even loved them. After she passed away...they were all I have left of her. So I could never move them.”
My hand reached for his and I interlocked our fingers together. “I’m sorry.”
He eyed our joined hands.
“Can I see a picture of her?”
He kept his eyes glued to our tangle of hands before he left the chair and opened a drawer in his desk. He took out three picture frames and returned to me.
I took all three and examined them. The first one was a picture of all three of them, Crow, Cane, and Vanessa. Crow and Cane looked like they were in high school while Vanessa looked much younger. I looked at the next picture and saw Vanessa in a graduation gown with Crow beside her. His arm was wrapped around her and a smile was on his lips. The last one was the entire family—including Lars. His father shared Crow’s likeness so much that they looked like brothers. His mother was beautiful with dark brown hair and a slender frame. She shared several similarities with her daughter. “Beautiful family.”
Crow took the pictures back and set them on the table between us. He turned his gaze to the fire and grew quiet, suddenly brooding and angry. “She moved in with me when my parents died. She stayed here for years before Bones got her. Once she was gone the house never felt the same. It still doesn’t feel the same.”
I couldn’t begin to understand that kind of loss. I didn’t have a sibling, and I never had a family to begin with. The kind of pain I carried was fundamentally different. I never had anything to lose while he lost everything. “I’m sorry.” I wish I had something better to say. When it came to heartbreaking moments like this there was nothing to be done. “But we’ll make him pay for what he’s done. We’ll get Vanessa the justice he deserves.”
“Maybe,” he whispered. “But at the end of the day, she’ll still be gone. My parents will still be gone.”
My fingers drifted across his knuckles. “You have me. You’ll always have me.”
He eyed my hand before he linked our fingers together.
“Lars told me you’ve never really grieved...” I didn’t understand what that meant, not fully.
He stared into the fire. “I didn’t go to her funeral.”
“Why not?”
He shook his head slightly. “It’s...nevermind. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Please tell me.” I wanted to hear this. For his sake as well as my own.
He pulled his hand away. “Drop it.” He refilled his glass and downed the brandy with a single gulp. He withdrew from me, completely this time. He shut me out and refused to let me in. His eyes never turned my way and he darkened into the background, slowly fading from reality. He became nothing. He wanted to be nothing. He was nothing.
Chapter Fourteen
Crow
I fell into darkness for a week straight. I kept to myself and shut out the world, suffering in silence and waiting for it to pass. Button was by my side every day but she didn’t speak to me. In fact, we didn’t talk once.
I went through the motions of my life until the despair finally left my body. When I thought too hard about Vanessa I was pulled under by a sweeping current. It was enough to drown me—over and over.
By the time I pulled myself out a week had passed. I couldn’t recall what I did in those past seven days. I couldn’t recall what I ate or what I accomplished at work. Cane didn’t drop in like he usually did. He probably detected something with his sibling radar.
I finally snapped out of it one night after dinner. “I’m sorry.” I looked at Button across the table, truly looking at her for the first time. “I just...” I couldn’t explain it so I didn’t bother trying.
“It’s okay.” Her voice rang with sympathy, and she gave me a sad look as she finished the last pieces of her dinner. “I know the feeling. You dim down your participating in life and let it pass you.”
That was a good way to describe it.
“How’s work been?” She didn’t make the mistake of asking prying questions. She let the tense week pass without further thought. She didn’t interrogate me or tell me to seek out emotional help.
Because she understood me. “Fine. We have a shipment going out on Wednesday. The ship only leaves once every three weeks so we have to load as many crates as possible.”
“Where is the shipment going?”
“The United States.”
“I’ve never heard of your wine before.”
“Were you a big wine lover in America?”
“No.”
“Perhaps that’s why.” Anyone who knew about wine would recognize my product. When Button first came here she didn’t seem to know anything besides engineering and kicking ass.
“Do you ship anymore else?”
“Russia, England, Africa...anywhere you can think of, really.”
“That’s a large business. Must be exhausting running it by yourself.”
“It’s fine,” I answered. “It gives me something to do besides sell weapons to world leaders.”
“Has Cane ever considered leaving the business and joining you?”
“No.” His heart was sided with the family business. He would never abandon the company my father built on his own. “Wine isn’t his interest.”
“Just explosions and women,” she said with a chuckle.
I noticed she spoke of Cane more highly than she did before. Actually, she never spoke of him at all. I didn’t know where the change stemmed from but I didn’t care enough to ask. “Are you finished?”
“Yes. It was delicious, like always.”
“Let’s take a walk.”
She left her chair and immediately took my hand. Our palms stuck together like glue, perfectly cradling one another like they were meant for each other. I guided her outside where the sun set over the horizon and we walked along the trail around the vineyards.
“Did this estate belong to your parents before you moved in?”
“No.” I bought it on my own once the winery was successful. “But I hired Lars once he had no one to serve.”
“Does he live here?”
“Yeah.”
“Then he works around the clock.”
“He likes it here. He has weekends off and vacation time but he never uses it. His wife passed away ten years ago, and his only daughter passed away as well. I think working here gives him a purpose, takes his mind off things.”
“Oh...that’s so sad.”
“Indeed.” Lars understood loss the same way I did. That was a connection we shared. Neither one of us spoke of it, but it hung in the room constantly. Loss was something that couldn’t be escaped. It followed you around like magnet to steel.
Button dropped my hand and hooked her arm through mine instead. She walked close to me, her cheek touching the top of my arm. Her hair brushed against my skin as the breeze caressed it. “Lars is a sweet man. He’s always been so nice to me since I arrived.”
“He likes you.”
“He does?” she asked with a smile.
“I can tell.”
“What about the rest of the staff?”
“I think they like you too.”
“Good,” she said. “Because they are all so sweet.
I can tell they love being here. You’re a low-maintenance employer.”
“I don’t know about that...” My own brother broke into the house and knocked everyone out before he tortured my guest. I wouldn’t consider that to be low-maintenance.
She stopped in the middle of the row and examined one of the vines. A horde of grapes dangled from the deep green stem, purple and plump with juice. She eyed it before she turned to me. “Can I eat one?”
“Yeah. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“Why?”
“It hasn’t been washed.”
“Whatever.” She plucked one before she tossed it into her mouth. “I have a dirty mouth anyway.” Her eyes leapt with playfulness.
I chuckled and pulled her into my side, feeling the life return to my body. Button was the biggest distraction I’ve ever had. She stopped me from thinking about things I couldn’t change. She kept me focused on pleasure and joy. My despair and misery faded to the background because she took up center stage.
“So, when are you going to take me out again?”
“Not for a long time.”
“Oh, come on.” She pinched my side. “I’ve been cooped up in the house for weeks. Let’s go somewhere.”
“The coast isn’t clear. Those cops are probably still looking for you.”
“Then I’ll wear a disguise.”
“What kind of disguise?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get some glasses and dye my hair.”
“You’d look cute in glasses.” I could picture heavy frames sitting on the bridge of her nose while she bent over my desk and I took her from behind. “But don’t change your hair. I like it the way it is.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded and pulled her tighter into my side.
“You like long, dark hair?”
“Definitely.” I stopped walking and fisted her strands, loving the hold I had on her. It was easy to overpower her with just a single grip. I had her right where I wanted her and she couldn’t get away. I pulled her head back so her lips were tilted toward mine. “I like you.”