by Penelope Sky
“Whoa, hold on,” he said. “I never told you to tell him you love him.”
“But you certainly gave me a nudge.”
He sighed into the phone. “What do you want me to say? You want me to talk to him?”
“God, no. I just wanted to give you a piece of my mind.”
“Well, I don’t care. I’m not good with these strange girl talks. I’m not even sure why we’re still talking about it. Who cares if he didn’t say it back? Move on.”
If only it were that easy. “I want to take down Bones now. I want to get it over with so I can leave.”
“Right now?” he asked incredulously. “Aren’t you still injured?”
“No.” My scars had finally healed weeks ago. “I’m ready to take this asshole down. Are you with me or what?”
“Of course I am—”
“Then talk to him.” I hung up before Cane could get another word in.
Chapter Sixteen
Crow
I stared out my window and stared at the distant vineyards like I had so many times. I knew this land better than most people. It was in my blood, my heritage. Sometimes when I enjoyed the scenery it cleared my thoughts from the subjects that dragged me down.
The door to my office opened and Cane walked inside. I could tell by the way he barged in without checking in with my assistant. It clicked shut behind him. “Hard at work, huh?”
I turned in the chair and faced him, my temple already thudding with a headache. “I could say the same to you.”
He helped himself to the chair in front of my desk. He slouched in the cushion and breathed a deep sigh like he was exhausted. “Wad up?”
My eyes automatically narrowed. “You tell me. You’re the one paying me a visit.”
“Well, I’ve been getting restless. When are we going to make a move on Bones?”
I hadn’t thought about it. Button was on my mind. Last night, I didn’t get any sleep without her. I used to hate sleeping with another person, but now I couldn’t stand being alone. “I don’t know. Button is still healing.”
“She’s fine. She looks good as new.”
“But she’s not mentally prepared.”
“Well, she called me and asked when we’re taking out Bones. So, I think she’s ready.”
She called him? Why didn’t she speak to me instead of him? “Really?”
“Yep.”
“What else did she say?”
“Nothing much.” He took a look around my office, admiring my pictures and bookshelves. “Just that she said she loved you and you didn’t say it back...”
I couldn’t believe she told my brother that. They were mortal enemies and now they were gossiping girlfriends.
“Dude, what’s up?”
“What do you mean what’s up?”
“What the hell are you doing?” He tilted his head to the side and looked at me like I was a weirdo. “Why did you leave her hanging like that?”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I didn’t share private information with my brother. We weren’t the kind of people that shared our feelings and thoughts. I preferred to keep them bottled up deep inside where no one would find them.
“Well, I’m having this conversation with you.”
“Cane, stay out of it.”
“I can’t. According to the Barsetti code, I can’t. You think I like talking about this stupid bullshit? No, it’s not my cup of tea. Or should I say, it’s not my glass of wine.”
“Barsetti code?”
“Yeah. You’re making a serious mistake that you’ll regret. I can’t let you do that without giving you some council first. You would do it for me.”
“I don’t need council on the matter.” He was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. Cane and I weren’t the kind of brothers that talked about emotional bullshit. We hardly talked about Vanessa when she died.
“I think you do. She’s pretty upset about it.”
That wasn’t surprising. It was the most awkward moment of my life. She stared at me and waited for me to repeat the words back to her. When they never came, her face contorted into one of heartbreak. “As she should be.”
“No, you don’t get it. She wants to leave as soon as possible.”
I gathered that much.
“I’m not trying to be a pussy, but I know you love her. Just tell her.”
“I don’t love her.”
“Come on, yes you do. It’s so obvious—even to me.”
My heart was frozen solid and my body was incapacitated. It couldn’t handle another blow—another loss. “I don’t.”
“So when she leaves you’re just going to let her go?” he asked incredulously.
“What else am I supposed to do?”
“Crow, she’s not just some slut you’re keeping around. Whatever you have with her goes beyond that. I don’t understand why you’re in denial about this. People fall in love and get married every day. Why is this so difficult for you to understand?”
“I’m not people.”
“Last time I checked you were.”
Definitely not. I was a beast of the dark.
“Look, she’s going to leave as soon as this is finished. Are you really prepared to give her up?”
I couldn’t imagine my life without that woman living in my house. Just getting any sleep without her was nearly impossible. The vineyards would never look quite the same. Eating dinner without her would never feel the same. After work I would come home to an empty house until I found another woman to whip and beat. The idea made me feel lonely. “If she wants to go, she can go.”
“And you’re okay with losing the love of your life?”
“I never said she was.”
“But it’s so goddamn obvious, man. What’s the hold up?”
I knew he wasn’t going to drop this anytime soon. “You and I aren’t the type of men who can have a wife and a family.”
“Why not?”
“Because of Mom, Dad, and Vanessa. One by one, we’ve been taken out. You think a woman you love would ever be safe? Our enemies would constantly look for a way to hurt us. A wife would be a perfect target.”
“Not if we keep them safe.”
“How did that go last time?” I snapped. “Vanessa is buried in the funeral home along with Mom and Dad. How many more bodies will we add?”
“Let me get this straight.” He held up both hands, growing enthused. “The only reason why you’re pushing her away is to protect her? So you do love her? You just can’t risk telling her that?”
“Yes, I’m pushing her away to protect her. But no, I don’t love her.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Crow.”
“I don’t. I don’t do love. I told her that from the beginning. It’s not my fault she didn’t believe me.”
“I’ve seen you with her,” he snapped. “Maybe you can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me.”
“Cane, just drop it. I’m embarrassed we’ve had this conversation at all.”
“I’m not. You’re my brother and I want you to be happy. I think you need her in order to be happy.”
I stared at my bookshelf, avoiding the determined look on his face. “I’ll never be happy.” It was a fate I accepted a long time ago. With Button, small jolts of joy erupted through my body at random times. She made me laugh and made me smile. But those feelings were only temporary. The depression would swallow me up again shortly afterward.
“Maybe you should stop being so dramatic and just give it a shot.”
“Maybe you should shut your mouth.”
“Look, I’m just trying to help. If you don’t want to lose her you need to change gears. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I’ve already let her go.” I would never return her feelings or give her the life she wanted. I would never keep her safe. My heart no longer worked and I was void of any emotion except violence. She deserved a man far better than me.
He sighed in d
efeat. “Alright. I had to give it a shot.”
At least the conversation was over.
“So, when are we taking him out?”
“Not sure. When do you think you’ll be ready?”
“When it comes to taking down that asshole I’m always ready.”
“Alright,” I said. “We’ll make the plans.”
Chapter Seventeen
Pearl
I started training again.
I ran every day after Crow went to work. The path around the vineyards was over a mile, so I ran around that a few times before I used Crow’s weight room in the basement. I wasn’t trying to drop a few pounds or gain muscle. I was just trying to get back into shape.
I needed to be strong when I went toe-to-toe with Bones. He probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to harm me since Crow and Cane were on the lookout. But it was better to be safe than sorry.
Crow came home at his usual time, and he was quiet and brooding. Ever since that awkward night neither one of us had been the same. We talked it out, but in the end it didn’t change anything.
It was tense as hell.
He rapped his knuckles against my door before he stepped inside. “Lars tells me you’ve been a working machine lately.”
“Yeah. Just been exercising.” A book was open in my hands. Reading was the only thing strong enough to distract me from my agony. I tried to forget the way Crow cruelly rejected me but I couldn’t. Despite the way he hurt me my heart still beat for him. I still felt the exact same way as I did before.
And that only made me feel pathetic.
“Any reason?” he asked.
“Just preparing for our mission. Wanted to get back into shape.”
He came further into the room, his suit fitting him perfectly. His sculpted shoulders looked powerful, and his thin hips led to muscled thighs. He was still a wet dream. “You think you’re ready for that?”
“I know I am.” There were two things I wanted desperately. The first was to get away from Crow. And the second was to get my vengeance on Bones. Even if I died in the process it would be worth it. I had to do something. Running back to America to leave other women to their fate wasn’t an option for me.
He sat on the couch beside me but kept his hands to himself. He hadn’t made a move toward me since that terrible night. He asked me to sleep with him a few times but I always refused. “Cane is ready too.”
“Then let’s do it.”
He turned his mystic green eyes on me, their power radiating like orbs. “You’re certain you can handle this?”
I didn’t blink as I held his gaze. “Absolutely.” I’d been through trauma after trauma. There were very few things that scared me anymore. My spine was a rod of steel and my heart was calloused and cold. The last blow that killed me was Crow’s rejection. Now there was nothing left that could cause any damage.
“Okay. I’ll take it over with Cane and we’ll figure out a plan.”
“Alright.” The sooner, the better. I wasn’t sure what I would do when I got back to America. There was no job waiting for me. There wasn’t even an apartment waiting for me. I’d have to be smart and figure it out. But choosing to stay out of fear was unacceptable. I’d find my way—that was certain.
Instead of leaving Crow stayed right beside me. He leaned forward and rested his arms on his thighs. His fingers interlocked together and he stared at the floor beneath his shiny shoes.
I waited for him to walk out and leave me in peace. Being in his presence any longer than necessary was torture. I was happy just a week ago and now I was miserable. He took something away from me, something I never thought I would have again. Somehow, I resented him for it.
“I miss you.” He stared at his hands and rubbed his thumbs together.
I heard what he said but didn’t react. The words were meaningless to me. At one point I thought he loved me, that he couldn’t live without me. All those nights we spent together were beautiful. He took care of me when I could barely walk. But I’d misinterpreted all of that.
He slowly turned his head my way, expecting me to echo the words back at him.
Now he knew what rejection felt like.
His eyes filled with disappointment, the kind he couldn’t hide. He tightened his fingers together, the veins in his forearms protruding through the skin. He turned back to his hands when he couldn’t bare my coldness any longer. “I thought we agreed we would enjoy our time together before you left.”
Change of plans. “I don’t feel the same way anymore, Crow.”
He clenched his jaw slightly. “Meaning?”
“I don’t want to sleep with you. I don’t want to fuck you. All I want is to hurt Bones for hurting us. And then I want to leave and start over. Coming to this place has shown me what the real world is like. It’s taught me how to observe people, how to stiffen my spine, and how to survive. Now that I have those skills I’m ready to return to my old world.”
He sat up straight and pulled his hands apart. “I don’t see why we can’t enjoy each other.”
I didn’t want his hands on me. I didn’t want him inside me. It would just make me think of the day he broke my heart. After everything I’d been through I didn’t think it was possible to love someone, to trust someone. He pulled me into a false sense of security, making me think we were dark together but whole. “Because we can’t.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you but—”
“It’s okay, Crow. You don’t need to apologize for the way you feel. But now I want other things. I can’t let you touch me because I won’t enjoy it. All I’ll think about was the last time we were together. We’re just friends. Accomplices. And that’s all we’ll ever be.”
He took a quiet breath, the frustration obvious. “For what its worth, I do miss you. I can’t sleep without you. I can’t focus at work without you. Everything has been turned upside down and I can’t even think straight. I miss us. I miss what we have. It hasn’t been easy for me.”
It was hard to feel any pity. He wanted me around for entertainment. He wanted me around because we had amazing sex together. But that was it and nothing more.
That’s all I meant to him.
“You’ll get through it. The longing will pass and you’ll forget about me—like all the others.” There wasn’t a hint of venom in my voice. I told him the truth and the whole truth.
He turned his head my way, the despair in his eyes.
I was numb and couldn’t feel a thing. There was no sympathy in my heart or anything else. All I felt was desperation for escape. I wanted to get as far away as possible so I could get over him.
I wanted to forget about him.
I wanted to forget all of this.
***
I slept soundly in my bed when the sound of shattering glass woke me up.
I bolted upright in bed the second the shards scattered across the hardwood floor. My nightmares had returned but I somehow knew this was real. The sound was unmistakable. It was far too loud to be fake.
A flashlight hit me in the face and blinded me. My first instinct was to scream and that’s exactly what I did. I screamed at the top of my lungs and hoped Crow would hear me.
“Shut her up!” A man grabbed me and threw me on the ground. The alarm to the house went off, so loud it was going to make me deaf. They tied a handkerchief around my mouth to quiet my screams. One punched me in the face and then the stomach, momentarily paralyzing me.
Crow, come on.
One man grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me to a stance. He kept my hands pinned behind my back as she shoved me to the broken window.
I twisted my body to evade his grasp but his hold was too strong. My stomach screamed in pain and my mouth started to bleed.
He shoved me through the window and I let out a muffled scream as I flew through the air, expecting to hit the grass at the bottom. My body landed on a stack of mattresses and I bounced in place, recovering from the realization that I wasn’t broken on the ground.
&nb
sp; The men followed me and grabbed me again. One positioned me on a motorbike and sat behind me so I couldn’t escape his grasp. He turned on the engine then sped out of the yard, moving through a row of vines to return to the main road.
The wind blew through my hair and I tried to turn in the seat to see if Crow was following me. Just wen I turned the man punched me in the back so I would face forward. I slumped toward the handlebars as the pain shot through my body.
They continued driving through the pastures without turning on their headlights. It was pitch black and I couldn’t see where we were going. When I saw the guy next to me I realized he wore night vision goggles. They could see the road in front of them but Crow couldn’t detect their headlights.
This wasn’t looking good.
Fifteen minutes later they reached a road. They pulled onto the turf and slowed down as they reached a midnight black town car parked off to the side. They killed the engines to the bikes and I was yanked off.
Now that my feet were on the ground, I tried to escape. I kicked the guy closet to me in the balls before I broke the other guy’s nose. There was nowhere for me to fun so I had to incapacitate my captors if I had any chance of getting away.
“Hands above your head where I can see them.” A woman’s voice sounded from behind me. It was distinctly feminine but rang with authority. She cocked the gun and it the sound echoed in the nighttime air.
I turned around and saw the gun pointed right at my face. The barrel was aimed directly at my nose. With a single touch of the trigger my face would be gone.
The woman was my height with dark brown hair. She had blue eyes that looked kind despite her no-bullshit appearance. She stood in a pencil skirt and jacket, not fitting the criminal bill. “Enough of that. Let’s go.” She nodded to the car.
I expected Bones to be inside the vehicle, not a woman. None of this was adding up. The men didn’t look like the kind of backup Bones would employee, and he certainly wouldn’t have a woman working for him. “Who the hell are you?”
“None of your damn business. Get in the goddamn car.” She stepped closer to me and pressed the gun to my temple.
She needed me alive. I knew that much. Bones probably put out a bounty for my head and she was the first one to track my whereabouts. “I’m not worth anything to you if I’m dead.”