by Trina Bates
-Once we get Siv home and deal with Alastor, we will be going back to my furniture shop and I will show you the new line of furniture I just had them bring into stock.-
The thought of Merrick being sweet enough to get me an entire new line of things he no doubt know I liked, thanks to Ebbin I’m sure, sweetens my mood and makes me grin from ear to ear.
-You really know how to perk a girl up, sexy man. Thanks, I needed that.-
-Anytime, love.-
Giving my full attention back to Gor, I look at his beautiful, chiseled face and know right then, the look of determination and wonder in his eyes, that he’s going to manifest.
There are drawbacks, but the good we can do does outweigh the bad. But I wasn't finished. I’m about to change his mind, I just know it.
“Gor, there’s more,” I confess honestly and in a whisper, but loud enough he heard me.
“Go on little sister,” He prompts me, my palms immediately start sweating.
“The anger, the hate, you’ll feel them so intensely. They take over and you can kill with a thought. That's the biggest drawback. When I first arrived on Yggdrasil and found out who my mother was, that she’s alive and right in front of me, I went a little... off the rails.” I close my eyes and inhale deep. I’m nervous to admit this to anyone, Rhett had been the one to see the destruction, but thankfully never asked. Grun knows, but only because I had killed one of the Spriggans in his structure.
“I had been so damaged, lost and filled with hate over my childhood that it all came to a head. I almost murdered everyone in the marketplace the first day I had arrived. I couldn't hold back and pulses of red and black power flew from my hands. Anything it came in contact with turned to ash. I decimated a huge area just outside of the city with my power, because I couldn't contain it.”
The memories that are playing back to me while I tell him, hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel like shit and I’m terrified of what can, and possibly will happen if I get to that point again.
Gor stands from the chair, a little crease showing on his forehead in between his brows, while he walks over to me and wraps me in one of his huge hugs.
“I watched it all Mira, you were a fearsome storm, but it all calmed, when you were out of the darkness. We all hold a certain amount of darkness inside. But it is up to us, what we do with it,” he says into my hair, squeezing me tighter.
I hug him as hard as I can back, loving the feel of being in my big, both in age and body mass, brother’s arms. Home.
“Thank you Gor, it means the world to me to hear you say that,” I say with conviction and a waver in my voice, trying to contain the tears that are trying to escape.
“I want to do this,” he says completely surprising me as he pulls away and ducks his head to stare into my eyes.
I figured he would say no after all of my admissions. I was hoping he would say yes, of course. But hearing him say the words when I just told him all the bad parts and didn’t leave anything out… I’m elated and stunned at the same time.
I stand here, like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing while I try to think of something to say. I don’t know if I should try to talk him out of it further, or jump up and down. This might have been my idea, and wants. But he was so adamant in the beginning that I was sure, there was going to be a different outcome.
Squeezing each of my armored shoulders once, he turns from me and sits back down in his comfy chair that I’m sure will be going back home with him when the time came.
“How do we do this?” he asks looking into my eyes.
I’m confused on how to answer him. It just happened for me. “Don’t worry little sister, this just means we are that much more connected. I will be stronger, faster and a much more worthy opponent to any that come to try and stop us. I am sure in my answer, I promise you that.” He crosses his strong arms and looks a tad smug at his own admission. I can't help but perk up at that and nod my head to him.
“So, to manifest, from what I know, you have to want something dead with every fiber of your being, or you can have another Demon help you. Or there’s always immense pain, the kind that will bring it out forcibly. But I don’t think we’ll be needing that. I can read souls, maybe I can help you? I think we should go outside though. Get away from everyone so we don’t accidentally cause harm,” I say, as I turn away from him and walk to the door.
I want to let everyone know what’s going on as well. Torunn is no doubt going to be worried, and so will the guys. The only way I’m able to die, even being a half breed, is if another Death Demon kills me. Alastor is the only threat right now, but if I’m there with Gor, he too will have that power when he manifests. Though from what I understand, it can only happen by touch, he would have to take my soul.
Let’s hope they agree to this. I’ve already pushed them pretty far. I couldn't keep doing this on my own, Rhydian was right.
If I want them to be fully apart of this family, I need to include them.
Being the loud mouth that I am, my next words are really uncouth, but I can't help it. “Death Demons are taking over!” I shout. Heads snap our way as Gor and I walk down the hallway. I turn my head and look up at my brother as a slow smile spreads on his face and his chest shakes with his silent laughter.
“What does that mean, Bugs?” Ebbin asks with one eyebrow raised higher than the other and a slight tilt to his lips. He’s amused and I love him even more for it.
The others stand around with questioning stares on their faces, and tense shoulders.
“It means, Gor would like to try and manifest. Now, I can either help him pull it to the surface, or he can try to ‘will’ something dead. But I think we all know...” I stop and look back with a fond smile on my face to my brother, he’s too kind to want something dead. He has the purest heart and strongest love for people and animals alike. “He’s not a killer. My circumstances were much different. Now, as everyone knows, there will most likely be a lot of pain and anger when he does manifest. The only true way for me to die, is by another Death Demon. Now, he will be one. I doubt he will go after me. But…” I pause, not wanting the fear to return, I take a deep breath and look into four sets of eyes, blue, silver, green and blue-green. They all hold worry and trepidation in them. They’re all worried at what had already happened to me yesterday. I promised not only Rhydian, but myself that I would be smarter, talk more and run things by my guys. This isn't just about me. I need to remember that. Always.
“I need to know how you all feel about that. I don’t know any other way to help him and, since no one else can be there to pull me away, I was thinking, if I showed Rhett where we were, I could keep my mind linked to his and have him pull me out right after Gor manifests. I can’t teleport that fast, but Rhett can portal me out in a second.” I tell them hesitantly, knowing it’s a long shot. but honestly, full truth, is better than lying and putting myself in a bad situation... one that can go wrong at any moment.
I’m standing in full fucking battle armor, a helm under one arm, a sword in the other, and I can’t explain how weak, nervous and scared I feel. I’m supposed to be this all powerful being, but in this moment, I feel like the Hollow I believed I was for most of my life.
I wait on baited breath to hear their answers. I don’t want to tell them that I will do this, help Gor no matter what. But I feel like this is the only way to go.
Ebbin shifts from foot to foot. When he crosses his large arms, his muscles flex and in that moment, I wish I was safely wrapped in them, his arms are my home, my safe haven.
Rhydian is looking intently at the floor with his gorgeous face drawn and full of worry.
Merrick’s scowling, at myself and Gor, while he stands ramrod straight clenching his jaw. He looks ready to strangle Gor for wanting this, and me for going along with it.
Rhett’s the one that worried me most though. He’s glaring at me, there’s so much anger and it looks like a little hate is seething behind his beautiful eyes. He’s clasping the bac
k of the couch so tightly, his knuckles are white and his lithe build is corded, and tense. I’m honestly a little scared of him.
The confusion, showing on my face out weighed my previous words. Merrick, Ebbin and Rhydian all look to where I’m staring.
Seeing them all visibly shutter and lean back themselves in confusion and worry, has me questioning whether or not he’s stable enough to come.
His tiff with Blue, the change in his demeanor and the way he’s so visibly trying to hold himself back from something, has the air thick with apprehension and anger. Where that anger is intended, I have no idea. That strikes a chord in me as well. We don’t need this right now. This is about saving Siv and taking care of Alastor and his disgusting, vile ways.
I can’t take it anymore, “Rhett, what’s going on with you?” I ask while I hand my helm to Gor and slowly walk closer to him.
He flinches at my steps. I stop and raise the one empty hand I have in a manner to show I mean him no harm. His jade eyes seem ablaze and his face is set in stone. The anger radiating off of him hits me deep in my core. What’s going on with him? I wonder to myself.
Rhett doesn’t relax at my gesture, he instead squeezes the couch tighter, and an audible ‘snap’ sounds when he clenches it so tightly that the wood beneath breaks under the pressure.
That finally makes me take pause and actually retreat a few steps back.
I only make it one step before my back collides into a large object. I know it was someone there to protect me.
Looking back and up, my love Ebbin is standing there. His eyes barely slits and his body hard and rigid with his protective stance. He grips my armor clad shoulders, and glares at Rhett’s still enraged face. A vein on his forehead is now bulging and so are the veins in his neck. He’s turning red. Whether from him being irate, or not breathing, I’m unsure.
Anguish is a fickle thing. I hate the feel of it, but am thankful for it being here. I need to feel something instead of the panic that’s slowly taking over.
Merrick and Rhydian come to stand in front of me, closing off my view of Rhett, and him to me. Blue’s to my right with a growling Cynide. Torunn and Gor, to my left standing tall and proud, ready for anything.
“Rhett, let’s take a walk,” Merrick says calmly, talking to him like he’s an enraged animal.
“I don’t need to take a fucking walk! What the hell is your problem?” Rhett spits back with such vehemence, I actually flinch.
“Take a fucking walk. NOW!” Merrick shouts back. I can see the top of Rhett’s head now and am sure he finally released the broken couch and is hopefully going to listen. I don’t want to be the one to talk him down. I’m frightened of him in this moment, something I was sure I would never feel from any of them.
Merrick turns around to me, and his face softens when he takes in my unease at the entire situation. His square jaw ticks once in frustration. I can tell he’s pissed at Rhett for making me feel this way. There’s nothing to be done about that right now. I give him a quick tight smile shrug, and my shoulders once, trying to show him I’m okay, just confused.
His large hand comes to the side of my face and caresses me in such a loving manner, I’m finally able to relax a little.
“Don’t worry, love. I’ll get this figured out. But in the meantime, please wait on doing anything with Gor. I would’ve said yes, but with the way Rhett’s acting, please, please just wait.” The concern in his voice and pleading tone. There’s no way I can say no. He’s right too, there isn't a safe way for me to get away quick enough if something does happen, not with Rhett acting so strange.
I nod my head once to his request, and watch him and Rhett disappear out the front door after he kisses me once hastily on the lips.
Ebbin’s behind me rubbing my armor. I know he’s trying to soothe some of my fears away, but instead of that, it just makes me giggle at the strange action.
“I love you so much, but seriously, you can be the biggest dork,” I say still giggling, but now turning in his arms to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“You love it,” he says back, as he kisses me on the forehead.
“That I do, beefcake.”
“What are we to do now Mira?” Gor asks me, seeming a little wistful and let down in a way.
I know that he wants to do this, but he’s happy keeping others safe more than endangering them. We need a plan.
“I don’t know. I need to be there to help you, but I can’t take the chance. You heard, and saw what happened to me when everything hit. I know that might not happen to you. Hell, it didn’t to me at first, but like I said, my circumstances of my manifestation were much different. I don’t know how to do this, nor what will happen when it does.” I think for a moment and that proverbial light bulb goes off.
“Rhydian, could we search the books? You think there might be anything in there about Demons helping other Demons with manifesting?” I’m in better spirits and have already started walking towards the couch to grab my tablet and then to the office so we can have more than one person's eyes trying to find things. I’m the only one able to access the book Lyra gave me, since I’m the only Demon. Gor might, but I doubt he’ll know what to do with the information.
“It’s worth a shot to look, babe,” he says, his nickname for me making me question him.
“Babe, huh? That's new,” I raise my eyebrow at him making him laugh. His deep chuckle sounding down the hall as I walk ahead of him.
“I kept borrowing Merrick’s. I don’t like it. Ebbin calls you ‘Bugs’ Merrick calls you ‘Love’ and Rhett has taken to calling you ‘sexy’ or ‘tatts’. I need one for just me. I doubt you would like ‘baby momma’ said all the time, so going back, I was thinking ‘babe’ would work just fine.” I bite my bottom lip, trying to hold in the laugh that’s trying to escape.
“Fair enough, I hadn't even thought about it. I guess I can accept that,” I tell him as I slow my pace and bump his shoulder. Looking up into his blue eyes, I give him a smile and race ahead once again.
The sounding footsteps behind me are many. I’m walking at a brisk pace, I need to have something to do, not only to keep my mind off Rhett, but also my guys. They see him as a threat now. I don't want that. He’s still a part of us. Whatever’s going on, we will figure it out. Together. I also want Gor to have other things to think about than the fact he will have to wait...wait for something he didn’t want in the first place, but is now looking forward to.
Upon entering the office, Ebbin and Rhydian are the first to come in behind me, so they’re tasked with going through one book together, the one more set towards a ‘general description’ of all Others. I give Blue my tablet, trying my best to not look at her and set Gor and Torunn down by Cynide at the desk. Gor immediately takes his seat back in the leather chair he was so enraptured with the first time we were in here.
I let them read through the book I’m most needing, the one that Lyra had given me. I know it will benefit them more to go through that book, together. For Torunn and Gor, they can read about their other parts, abilities and people. For me, it keeps them both away from reading about Valkyrie Edeline. The woman who raised Gor, and someone I know Torunn will know personally. I’m not trying to keep anything from them, it’s more to keep them away from getting shadow thoughts and get lost in the ‘what ifs’. There will be time for that later, right now, we have a mission to find out what we can to help Gor manifest, and get my mom.
I take my time skimming through the pages of a book that’s a generalization of Demons, there’s seemingly nothing of consequence, but it isn't a total loss. I learn a few things about my other, darker half.
Demons aren't all bad, quite a few are good. The beliefs of the peoples before us were much different than they are now. The fall of angels is true, but that's where it stops. They had a different belief than what many others did, they struck out against their father, yes in the wrong way, making them classified as Demon rather than the angels they once were. In doing so, the
ir children, and children's children were still classified as Demon, because that’s what they were born from. I’m confused at that. If they were once angels, shouldn't the good, the ones that are nothing like their forefathers, be angels?
I gain more questions on matters that are not for me, than real answers of the things I really need.
Ebbin’s the one to finally find something of significance.
“Bugs, listen to this!” he exclaims excitedly.
I shut my book, and walk over to him. Placing my hand over his shoulder, I peer down at what he’s reading.
‘Fire Demon Langston: The Unmanifested.
I don’t know why there is even a need for this to be said, but… If you are such an ass you are unable to manifest, find another Demon. We can bring the powers out, no matter what race of Demon we are. We are all of the same father. We are all able to assist in helping another find his true calling. Man the hell up and tear into another Demon’s mind. Find the locked hate, the covered lust for power. When you do, pull that shit out and there you go. New Demon born.’
“Sounds like a total douche, but he makes sense,” Ebbin says as he shrugs and looks to me with a mischievous smile.
“That helps, but it doesn't say what will happen when another Demon manifests. That's what we really need to look for, babe,” I tell him as I lean down and kiss his soft messy hair. -You really need to cut this, getting kinda scruffy.-
-Nah, no work! I can’t go back to working for the Conclave, so it means I can grow this shit as long as I want it. You’ll love it, once you see how hard you can pull it… while I’m fucking you.-
His sexy words send chills up my spine in anticipation. I want that and more, right now. Something to get my mind off of all this shit. Last night wasn't enough.
I push away from Ebbin and start scanning the book titles of every book on the shelf. I’m waiting for Torunn and Gor to finish with the readings of their species.
“Has Merrick read this, Mira?” Gor asks me with a quizzical look on his face.
“Actually, I really don’t know. I haven’t seen him with it before, why?” I ask back