by Kim Baldwin
Whatever it was, it was there and suddenly gone, broken when Megan looked away.
A long moment passed in silence before Megan spoke. “I’ve been kind of a jerk since I got here,” she admitted sheepishly. “And I’m sorry for that. As well as being sorry for the stupid mistake that could have gotten us both killed.” She looked at Chaz, then, with such vulnerability that it made Chaz’s heart clench in her chest, and said, “I hope you’re okay.”
“I’ll be fine.” Chaz found she was unable to tear her eyes from Megan’s face. “Truly. Don’t think any more about it.”
Megan moistened her lips. “Thanks, Chaz,” she said in a low voice. “I really mean that. I don’t know what he would have done if you hadn’t reacted so fast to stop him. You risked your life for me.”
Chaz could think of nothing then, but how much she wanted to kiss Megan. What’s happening to me?
“No problem. I’m glad you’re okay.” She knew her voice sounded husky. She forced her attention back to the fire. “You should turn in. Lots of paddling tomorrow. I’ll be along shortly.” If I go back to the tent with her now, I’m not sure I’d able to stop myself from kissing her.
Megan nodded and got up from her seat. “Whatever you say. Good night.” She briefly laid a hand on Chaz’s shoulder before retiring to their tent.
The touch lingered long after Megan had gone. You got it bad, girl, Chaz admitted to herself. She built up the fire again, too keyed up to sleep and in no hurry to subject herself to the experience of lying beside Megan, unable to touch her. How will I get through the next week?
*
Megan’s nerves were on edge, and she felt as though she might jump out of her skin at any moment. The whole episode with the bear had completely unnerved her. It still seemed unreal, like a 3-D movie. She started at every small noise from outside the tent.
But what had left her even more unsettled was the look—the feeling—that had seemed to pass between her and Chaz. There had been a totally unguarded moment between them that had spoken volumes, though she doubted either of them could really explain what it was and what it meant.
It was as though she had briefly glimpsed a sixth sense she never knew she had. Did Chaz feel it too? She wondered. She didn’t act like she did, sending me off to bed.
Whatever it was, it fascinated her—she had never felt more alive.
It scared the hell out of her, too. What was I thinking? She berated herself as she stared at the ceiling of the tent, waiting anxiously for the sound of Chaz’s approaching footsteps.
Pick about the most remote spot on earth for your vacation, where you have absolutely no control over anything. Oh, and make sure you pick somewhere where you can get eaten alive while you sleep. And while you’re at it, develop a serious lust for some gorgeous guide who will hardly give you the time of day. Smart. Real smart.
*
Megan dreamt of the bear.
She was, frankly, surprised that she’d fallen asleep at all, but when the adrenalin rush had worn off, she had crashed big-time, her body finally succumbing to the sleepless nights and the exertions and excitement of the day.
Sometime around three in the morning, she’d awakened in a cold sweat, thrashing furiously in her sleeping bag, desperate to escape the dream bear’s clutches. She was instantly enfolded in the comforting arms of a sleepy Chaz, who held her and murmured reassurances until they both fell back asleep.
When she awoke the next morning, she was alone.
Chapter Nine
Chaz was grateful the clients all wanted to talk about the bear. Between their requests to hear her retelling of last night’s encounter and her duties preparing breakfast, she was too distracted to think much about waking up with Megan in her arms.
But the memory did surface every time she got a moment to herself, and she couldn’t help glancing in the direction of the tents. Everyone was up and eating except for Megan, who had been out cold when Chaz had gotten up an hour and a half earlier. They were all loath to disturb her, after the fright she’d had, and there was no need to rush to get on the river, anyway. Their next campsite was not far downstream.
How the hell do I react when I see her? What do I say?
Chaz had awakened slowly that morning and had briefly felt as though she must still be dreaming, so unaccustomed was she to waking up next to someone. Especially quite like this. She had found herself wrapped protectively around Megan, hugging her from behind, one arm loosely draped around her neck, the other around her waist and… Oh, my. Her right hand was inside Megan’s T-shirt, pressed against the warm, soft flesh of her stomach, which moved slightly with each slow, deep breath.
She was spooning Megan as though they did this every night.
Initially, she was shocked to find herself thus, but then she vaguely remembered that Megan had had a nightmare. She’d had them herself—nightmares of being chased—the summer that a grizzly followed her for miles during a solo backpacking trip near Denali. She’d wanted Megan to feel safe. She remembered that much, but not much else. I certainly didn’t intend to sleep like that all night.
Once the initial shock had worn off, and she realized that Megan seemed to be deeply asleep, Chaz had pushed her nagging conscience aside and allowed herself a few totally self-indulgent minutes just to…relish where she was. A moment to memorize the feel of Megan’s skin against her palm. Her hand ached to go exploring, but she refused to allow it. It took every ounce of her willpower to remain still.
She closed her eyes and inhaled the delicate herbal scent of Megan’s shampoo, delighting in the press of their bodies against each other. Their legs and lower torsos were separated by their sleeping bags, but during the night, they had somehow managed to unzip the tops of the bags so they could snuggle closer together.
Her breasts were pressed up against Megan’s back, and she was all too suddenly aware that her nipples were achingly hard. Uh, oh. She better not wake up when I’m like this.
With excruciating slowness, she had extricated herself from their embrace, trying desperately not to wake Megan. Only once did Megan show any sign of rousing. When Chaz’s body separated from hers, she let out a soft sigh, a moan of disappointment that made Chaz’s heart skip a beat.
She kept hearing that sigh.
Don’t go there, she tried to tell herself. She’s a client. Just a client. Just a client. She kept saying it over and over, trying to imprint it on every fiber of her being, but her body was having none of it. It had had a taste of Megan, and it wanted more.
*
Megan joined them just before nine, looking relaxed and rested. Chaz caught sight of her as soon as she left their tent, and Megan sought out her eyes, too, and held them, as she approached the eating and cooking area.
Before she had a chance to say anything, Pat and Justine corralled her with questions.
“How are you?” Pat inquired. “Still shaken up a bit?”
“Did you get some sleep?” Justine asked.
“Actually, I slept pretty well,” Megan replied with a half smile. She looked in Chaz’s direction and her smile got bigger. “All things considered.”
Chaz could have sworn she saw a twinkle in her eyes. Oh, shit. Well, that answers that. She apparently remembers me holding her. So the question now is, does she also know how much I enjoyed it?
Chaz was blushing, Megan realized. Her spirits were buoyed by the sight. She’d felt a jarringly unexpected sense of loss when she’d awakened alone, and the sight of the huge rip in the tent did nothing to cheer her. But Chaz was a balm to her frayed nerves this morning, just as she’d been last night.
“Get yourself some breakfast,” Sally said, coming up behind Megan and putting a hand on her back. “We saved you some. We’ve got fruit and granola, and Chaz made some blueberry muffins.”
“They’re awesome,” Yancey threw in. “If you don’t want yours, we’ve decided to draw straws for them.”
“Not a chance,” Megan declared, stealing another glance at Ch
az, who was drying some of the breakfast dishes. “I haven’t held us all up, have I?”
“Oh, no, not at all,” Sally replied. “We only have a short ways to go today. We aren’t going to leave until after lunch.”
“I’d like everybody to practice wet exits and Eskimo rolls this morning,” Chaz said. “We’re going to start hitting some of the rougher water soon. Are you up to it?”
“Sure,” Megan said.
As soon as she’d eaten both of her muffins, which were every bit as good as promised, everyone donned their dry suits and took to the water in their kayaks.
Chaz first spent an hour or so conducting a seminar on river currents, describing the way the speed of the water changed as it flowed around curves and through narrows, and she briefed them on the different types of eddies they would encounter—pockets of calmer water that form in the downstream sides of rocks and boulders—and how to deal with them.
After that, they took turns tossing the rescue throw ropes that she’d issued them, until all were fairly good at it, at least in the calmer water.
As they practiced, the weather began to deteriorate. The temperature dropped twenty degrees as a low ceiling of clouds swept over the land, obliterating the sun and dumping a steady drizzle of rain that showed no sign of stopping.
“All right. I’d like to see everyone do at least a couple of wet exits and two or three rolls,” Chaz said. “Sally is going to watch Pat, Linda, and Yancey, and I’m going to work with Elise, Megan, and Justine.”
They divided into two small groups and took turns practicing wet exits first, with no problems. When it came time to do the rolls, Chaz beached her kayak and waded out into the current, to help them as needed as she had back at the lodge.
“Let’s be perfect at this, so we can all go in and get warm, what do you say?” Chaz encouraged them as they lined their kayaks up in front of her, paddling to remain in place against the current. She went briefly over the fundamentals again, then they took turns: Justine first, Elise second, Megan last.
Justine managed to do three rolls in fairly quick succession with little help. Elise needed assistance on the first couple of tries, but then got it on her own. Then it was Megan’s turn.
Everyone else had gone in. She and Chaz were alone. And Chaz was looking as sexy as hell, with her face pink and eyes shining from the cold. Megan was having a very hard time focusing on all the details that she needed to remember to do the roll right.
Chaz moved into position at the front of Megan’s kayak, all businesslike. “Ready?” she asked.
Nothing at all in her demeanor suggested that she had any recollection of the hours they’d spent wrapped in each other’s arms. It was time to remind her.
“Thank you for last night,” Megan said, with exaggerated provocation. She said it as though they had spent the night having mind-blowing sex.
She was thrilled to see the look that passed over Chaz’s face at her words. Chaz went crimson in embarrassment and looked shyly away, as a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
“Yeah, well, uh…” Chaz stuttered, tapping her fingers nervously on the end of Megan’s kayak. “No problem. I’ve had nightmares before, too.”
Oh, this is good. Very good. Last night was something to her, too.
“Chaz?” She said her name, very deliberately, because she really wanted Chaz to look at her right then.
Finally, after a very long moment, Chaz did, and Megan fell into the depths of those hazel eyes, a mere five feet away, that were gazing at her with such…heat. That was the word for it. She wants me. I can see she wants me as much as I want her.
“Last night…” she began, searching her mind for the right words, suddenly wishing she’d thought about what she was going to say. Normally she had no problem seducing women, but she felt tongue-tied half the time with Chaz, and she really didn’t want to screw this up.
She didn’t bother analyzing why this felt different to her than any relationship she could remember. Too much time passed, and Chaz looked away—she could see that Chaz was struggling to regain the professional demeanor that was her trademark.
“Chaz, I can’t tell you how much what you did last night meant to me.” The words poured out of her in a rush. “Risking your life with the bear, and then…then…” Making me feel safe, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t admit feeling vulnerable, even to Chaz.
“Helping with your nightmare,” Chaz finished for her. “Like I said, no problem. Are you ready to try a roll?”
The heat was totally gone now. The woman who had held her in her arms had changed back into the professional guide. Megan wanted to say something that would put that look back in Chaz’s eyes, but perhaps now was not the time. She was freezing, and so was Chaz. There would be time enough later, at their next campsite.
“I guess I’m ready,” she said, forcing her mind back to the details of the difficult maneuver. She wanted Chaz to be proud of her.
She got it on the first try. It looked a bit ungainly, to be sure, but she did it all by herself. And three more times, before they went in.
“That was really great, Megan,” Chaz complimented her as they walked back to join the others. “You should be really pleased with how well you’ve taken to this.”
She was pretty proud of herself, at that.
*
After a hot lunch, they packed up their tents and headed downriver to their next campsite. It was only a three-hour paddle, and the current carried them along at an ever-quickening pace as the river narrowed and deepened. They had to be more alert to obstructions—rocks and boulders of various sizes were scattered everywhere, and here and there, a branch or log had stuck on something.
They were still in a forest of spruce and alder and cottonwoods, alive with birdsong and the scattered sounds of other small animals, but the mountains on either side were closing in, the river leading them into a narrow valley.
The stopping point that Chaz selected looked very much like the place they had camped the night before. There was a nice flat spot for the tents, surrounded by a spruce forest where there would again be ample wood for a fire. And a fire would be most welcome; though the drizzle had stopped, it was decidedly colder than it had been thus far in the trip, with temperatures falling into the forties.
“We have vegetable lasagna on the menu tonight,” Chaz announced to the group as they unloaded the raft. “Would anyone like me to supplement that with some fish again, provided they’re biting, of course?”
Several hands shot up, and Linda enthused, “That was fabulous last night.”
“Yeah, prepared so simply—and so fresh. It was probably the best fish I’ve had in a long while,” Yancey said.
Megan smiled. “I think you better catch enough for all of us, again.”
“I’ll do my best,” Chaz said, reaching for her fishing gear. “Oh, by the way,” she said to Megan, “Don’t bother to put up the tent. Sally’s going to take a look at it after dinner and try to do a better repair job.”
“Okay. Well, if I don’t have that to do, is there anything I can do to help you?”
Chaz shook her head. “No, thanks. I’ve got this. You can gather up some wood for a fire, if you like.”
“Sure.”
As Megan walked away, Chaz followed her with her eyes. She thought back to the presumptions she’d made about Megan from her registration form. She’s certainly no Muffy. She hadn’t complained about the food or the primitive conditions. She offered to help out and pitched in eagerly. And Chaz had the impression she really did appreciate the pristine surroundings and adventure she was on.
You were wrong about her, she admitted. What else are you wrong about?
*
Chaz’s fishing acumen landed them each another fine grayling filet for dinner, in addition to the lasagna and garlic bread they had planned. They divvied up the chores, and so by seven p.m., they were all stuffed, the dishes were done, the garbage and leftovers safely stowed away from bears, and a nic
e campfire was blazing.
One by one, as they finished their tasks and changed into warmer clothes, the women regrouped around the fire bowl as they had done the night before.
Sally spread the torn tent out next to her and began to sew it up. “I hope we don’t get a bad storm. Even with seam seal, this probably won’t be watertight any more, and the rain fly has a big tear in it, too.”
“More probing questions, anyone?” Elise asked as she pulled up a camp chair and joined the rest. Only Chaz was absent.
“I’m game. That was fun,” Pat said.
“But we should wait for Chaz,” Megan put in. Her answers are the ones I’m most interested in. She started thinking about what question she would ask, when it was her turn. I could do “What turns you on?” That’s not bad.
“Here she comes now,” Sally said, and, sure enough, Chaz was just cresting the low rise that had hidden her from view.
“Are you up for some more probing questions?” Elise called out as Chaz got within earshot.
“If you like,” Chaz answered agreeably. “Although I have an alternative that some of you might like to try.”
“Do tell, we’re all ears,” Elise prompted, in a flirtatious way that Megan found really annoying.
“When I was here last year, I stumbled on a very nice feature of this particular place,” Chaz said. “About a three-minute walk downstream…” she pointed in the direction she’d just come from, “there is a really nice hot spring, big enough for two, right next to the river.”
“A hot spring?” Elise repeated with interest.
“Dibs first!” Linda jumped to her feet and reached down to pull Pat up with her.
“Hey, not so fast! We’re all going to want to go,” Justine protested.