by Lacey Silks
“Thank you. The current… it was strong.” It was still difficult to breathe, and my heart didn’t seem to want to slow down.
“Take your time, Jo. I can’t believe you jumped.”
“You told me to.”
“Yeah, but I still can’t believe you did it. You’re badass.”
“Where’s the bear?”
He pointed to the cliff across the river where the beast was still pacing back and forth.
“Nick, we gotta find help and alert the campground. That thing doesn’t give up, and we weren’t that far off.”
“I know. I know.” He looked around the area, somewhat worried. “But I’m hoping the larger group will scare it off.”
His head was still turning one way, then another.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re lying.”
“Hey, now we definitely swapped spit,” he winked.
I leaned my head to the side. Was he trying to distract me?
“I had to give you mouth to mouth to get that water out.”
I wished I remembered that part.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Okay, I think. Thank you for saving me.”
“I need you alive so that I can claim the kiss you promised me.” He winked.
You tell a boy you’ll kiss him and he’ll do anything to make sure he’ll get it, including saving your life. Not that I minded, of course.
“We’re not out of the woods yet, literally.”
“But we will be.” He touched the side of his shorts. “Shoot, I must have lost my granola bar in the water.”
“There goes dinner,” I joked, and actually made Nick chuckle.
“Come on – are you ready to head downstream?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
I reached up to his offered hand, which he didn’t let go of until we had to climb over a few piles of rock. I followed his carefully chosen steps, wary of my surroundings. After all, didn’t bears come to the river when they were thirsty? I had never joined the Girl Scouts, but I hoped that staying on the move was a better idea than remaining in the same spot, waiting to be rescued. There were more clouds in the sky, and the sun was way past the noon point. Anytime a cool breeze blew, I shivered. Nick, on the other hand, given that he always wore a pair of swim shorts when camping even when he wasn’t going swimming, was nice and dry from the waist down. Well, except for his soaked sneakers.
What if we were making a mistake by heading down the river? Wasn’t it better to stay closer to where camp was and get a fire going? Then the rescue party our teachers had probably sent out could see the smoke.
“Nick, are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked.
“No, I’m not, but I’m doing the best I can.”
“I know. It’s just getting a little cold, and you’re hurt.” I reached to his face, gently touching the cut he had over his left brow. “You’re going to have a scar.”
“Cool.”
Boys!
I shivered again. It had been just over an hour walking, and I didn’t want to complain, but I wanted to make sure that our chances of survival weren’t slipping.
He stopped and looked me over. “Okay, let’s take a break and try to get your clothes dry.”
“How?”
“Take your shirt and shorts off and put them on that rock. It should still be hot from the sun.”
“But I’m not wearing a bathing suit like you.”
“Jo, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“What do you mean?”
“The windows to our rooms are a foot apart.”
“Peeping Tom.”
“Hey, if you want privacy, shut your drapes. Otherwise, I can’t help it.” He shrugged. “Now undress. This is about staying warm, nothing else. Besides, I’m sure your pink bra looks just like a bathing suit.”
“How did you know it’s pink?”
“Because I can see through your wet shirt.”
Oh! I made a note to shut my drapes in the morning. He couldn’t have seen a lot because I usually got dressed in the bathroom, but yes, there had been times that I’d been in a hurry and might have run around my room in my undergarments.
“Wait for me on the rocks, and I’ll see if I can find something to eat.”
“No, you can’t leave me. We’ll go together, and then dry the clothes.”
He sighed. “Okay, come on. But the shirt and your shorts stay on the rocks.”
He turned around and removed his shirt, then splayed it out flat on the hot surface. “I won’t look, I promise.”
I imagined how nice the dry clothing would feel on my body and finally gave in. Once undressed, we turned right, into the woods. Fortunately there weren’t any hungry mosquitos around, but I was afraid that once dusk came, they’d descend upon us. It only took a few steps before the blueberry shrubs appeared. We stuffed our faces until we couldn’t eat any more. When Nick grinned, his teeth were purple. I stuck my colored tongue out and he laughed.
“These are delicious.”
Nick looked around the forest. “This place looks like a good rest stop. Maybe we should start a fire and wait it out. I have a feeling the day will pass before we reach that town.”
“You think we’ll have to spend the night here?”
“Possible. But don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ve got your back, Jo.”
“I know. Thank you.”
“You rest. I’m going to make a fire.”
“I’ll help you.”
“No, it’s okay. You’re better off there.” He pointed to the rock where our shirts were drying. Nick was acting all macho and totally weird.
“Why?”
“Because.” His jaw was tense and his eyes kept on darting from me to a random spot. My gaze slid down his body, to where his excitement was tenting his shorts. “Ahm, never mind. I’ll be on the rock.”
I whipped my body around, praying that he hadn’t seen embarrassment shade my cheeks. And if he had, he was probably as embarrassed by the situation himself. I propped myself up on the rock. It was still warm from the sun, and my frozen limbs needed the heat. I removed my running shoes and socks and set them by our clothes as well.
The water flowed steadily, shimmering where the sun touched it when the clouds let it through every so often. Downstream, the river swerved to the side, forming a small pond of almost still water where I thought I saw something move. Slowly, I made my way down and stepped barefoot into the river, shifting marginally toward the small pond. A few feet away, Nick had set up some kindling of dried leaves and twigs as well as larger pieces of wood, and was rubbing one stick against another.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Shh! You better get that fire going if you want to have dinner.”
He resumed the movement of his hands, back and forth, once in a while sneaking a peek at me. I concentrated on the healthy trout as inch by inch, I made my way closer. My father was a good fisherman, and I knew that this piece of fish would be enough for the two of us – if I managed to catch it, that was.
I crouched in slow motion, cupped my hands together, and patiently lowered them into the water. The trout had no idea that I was even there. I let my feet and hands blend in with the surroundings, slowly making them part of the trout’s world. Then in one swift scoop I pushed the trout up and out of the little pond. It landed near Nick, whose mouth almost dropped to the forest floor.
“What the hell?”
“I did it! I caught dinner.”
The fish flopped around near Nick, who stood up, looking at it as if it had fallen from the sky.
“Yeah, but it’s alive. What are we supposed to do with it?”
“You know, sometimes for a handy guy, you surprise me. Have you never gutted a fish?”
“No, and I’m not sure that I want to.”
“Keep rubbing then and watch a pro. Unless we get a fire going, that fish will be a wa
ste.”
“Sushi?”
“Gross! It’s wild, and I’m pretty sure it has worms in it.”
“How do you know this stuff? Oh, your father.”
“Yup.”
I found a sharper rock near the shore and used it to cut the fish open and remove its insides. As soon as it was clean, the first smell of wood wafted toward me, and Nick’s kindling lit. We hurried to build a larger and larger fire, eventually surrounding three healthy logs with stones so that it wouldn’t spread to the forest.
While Nick set up a frame of criss-crossed branches above the fire to fully dry our clothes and sneakers, I placed the fish on a rock near the heat. Half an hour later, when I was sure that it was cooked through, we dug in.
“This is the best fish I’ve ever had. Even if it has worms.”
“That’s just extra protein,” I said.
“Just when I thought I knew everything about you.” He shook his head in disbelief, smiling. “Your shirt should be dry by now, if you’d like to put it on.”
“Is it going to make you more comfortable?”
He lowered his gaze to his straining shorts. “Definitely. I’m sorry about this.”
“Don’t be. You’re a guy. It’s harder to hide, excuse the pun, when you’re… turned on.”
“Just so you know, this would have happened with any girl in her bra and panties.”
“I know.”
“With you it just happens quicker.”
“Really?”
“Well, you’re beautiful and sexy.”
“You think I’m sexy?” I looked down on my cleavage. My boobs were a healthy size, if I compared them to those of other girls in our class, but I was sure they weren’t mature yet.
“Hell, yeah.”
My cheeks heated. Actually, my whole body heated. “Thanks, Nick. You’re a very handsome guy too.”
It didn’t seem right to call him a man or a boy; Nick was at that in between stage. The hours he’d spent helping his mom at the bakery definitely showed in his muscles and wide shoulders. Nick was one of the most defined boys in our school, although not many people saw all his assets because he normally wore a shirt. Today, seeing him in only his shorts sparked an interest inside of me that I didn’t know I had.
“You’re welcome. My arms are sore from rubbing the wood.”
I chuckled.
“Wait, that sounds wrong.” Nick startled with embarrassment, and I couldn’t stop giggling.
“But your stomach is full, isn’t it?”
“I could eat another one.”
“That will have to hold us over until they find us. They will find us, won’t they?” I looked around the darkening forest. We were right by the river on our left, but to the right, I couldn’t see much past a dozen feet except for trees and bushes. This place was as wild as it got.
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“You hope so?”
“They will. Let’s get more wood for the fire. Maybe they’ll see the smoke.”
We put on our dry clothes and gathered enough wood to last us through the night. Nick moved the fire pit over to a spot where the smoke could escape through the canopy. I gathered more blueberries and found a few wild strawberries as well, and then sat down beside Nick, against the trunk of a tree. He had spread evergreen branches at the foot of the tree and covered them with leaves for more comfort.
“I really don’t want to spend the night here.” I sighed.
“It’s not that bad, is it? I bet you the night sky looks the same as from our rooftops.”
“I guess you’re right. If there was anyone I’d want to be lost with, it’s you.”
“Not Carter?”
“No way. He acts all brave, but he would have peed his pants the moment he saw that bear. You were calm and got us out of trouble.”
“Carter’s strong. Very strong.”
“But you’re… you.”
How could I explain to Nick that I could never feel as comfortable around anyone other than him, without him taking it the wrong way? So I changed the subject instead. “Who taught you to make a fire so quickly?”
“My father. It was one of the last things I remembered him teaching me before he was deployed.”
“That must have been hard, you know, losing him in battle. You’re brave. He would have been proud of you.”
He gave me that grateful smile. But it was true. Nick had inherited the best parts of both his parents. He was as patient and talented with pastries as his mother and as strong and courageous as his father who’d served our country and died for our freedom.
“You were brave too, Jo. I don’t think anyone else would have jumped off that cliff.”
“It was only because I was with you.”
“I don’t think so. You’re the strongest woman I know.”
He thought of me as a woman? Maybe this was the right time to bring up what Carter had mentioned before. “Can I ask you a stupid question? I mean, I know we’re friends – actually, make that best friends – but have you ever thought about dating?”
“Dating you?”
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t want to ruin the best part of us — our friendship. Nick reached for another log and added it to the fire along with two handfuls of dried leaves we’d collected. If there was anyone nearby, there was no way they could miss the billowing black smoke.
“Ahm, yes. Like, would I be the kind of girl you date?”
“No.” He shook his head, making me regret my question.
“What?”
“You’re the kind of girl someone like me would want to marry.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “But you have to date before you marry… you know, to get to know each other.”
“Jo, I don’t think anyone else in this world, other than my mother, knows me as well as you do. In fact, I’m pretty sure that you know me better.”
“But dating—”
“I always felt like you were mine, anyways,” he stated.
“Yours?” That statement made me feel alive inside. I didn’t understand the feeling, but it was a good one, despite Nick’s alpha posturing.
“That’s why I don’t like seeing you with Carter.” He turned his body toward me. His eyes were dreamy; or maybe it was just me, imagining them to be so. Their green depths held compassion — Nick didn’t usually speak so seriously about our friendship. “I’m afraid if we dated, it’d be weird, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to ruin our friendship.”
We were sitting beside each other, our arms touching. And maybe it was just me, or perhaps being secluded and away from everyone was messing with my mind, but I could feel the heat of his skin rise with each minute.
“But we wouldn’t know unless we tried, Nick. Sometimes you have to take that leap in life. And if there’s anyone I’d jump off a cliff with, it’s you.”
Was I actually justifying why we should date? He was like a brother to me. But looking at him today, spending this time with him, made me wonder whether that was just an excuse I’d been keeping in the back of my mind.
He leaned in closer, looking straight into my eyes. “I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”
His voice was low, almost a whisper, and I didn’t understand what it meant or why it made me feel all these weird things on the inside. This was the first time ever that I noticed Nick’s freckle underneath his lower lip. His mouth was plump and very inviting.
“You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you now.”
“Then do it.” I leaned forward with permission, feeling my eyes slowly close instinctively, and then it happened. Our first kiss. A real kiss that I couldn’t have known just how much I wanted. The river stopped flowing and the wind stilled. The birds were no longer chirping above and trees paused their swaying motion. The world around us ceased to exist. It was just me and him. His warm mouth on mine as his tongue slipped in gently between my lips. I opened my mouth with a moan, then held my breath as his tongue played with mine. When he pulled
away, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. This kiss was nothing like the one Carter had stolen from me earlier in the day. It was delicate, full of emotions, reciprocated and real. It took my breath away, filled my stomach with butterflies and prickled my skin with excitement. It was everything I’d always imagined a first kiss to be, and so much more. It was perfect.
I lifted my hand to my mouth, drawing my fingers over the delicate skin he had just kissed.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“I think so. That was… really good, Nick.”
His mouth curved on one side with confidence and then he grabbed my face between his hands and kissed me harder. This time his tongue dove deeper into my mouth and I felt my chest rise. I drew my hands up his arms, for the first time feeling the strength of his muscles. I could have kissed him like this for hours, if not days. Heck, I wanted to kiss him for days, but if I didn’t pull away my heart would rip out of my chest.
Where had he learned how to kiss like that? Yeah, I definitely would never think of Nick as a brother again.
“That was—”
“Good?” he asked.
“Very good.” I brought my hand to my trembling lips, trying to think about what the kiss meant.
“What does this mean?”
“I’m not sure. I mean, obviously I like you. Actually, I like you a lot, but you already knew that.”
Please don’t let there be a but. I wanted us to try to make it work, like other couples did. Go to the movies as a couple, hold hands as a couple, and date like the rest of the teenagers did. This was it. This was what I’d been waiting for, and I didn’t even know I’d been waiting for him.
“But I think everyone will treat us differently. I mean, do you think your dad and my mom will let us go up on the rooftop together, without peeking through the window every five minutes to see what we’re doing?”
“I… I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it that way.”
“Well, I have.”
“You have?”
“Every guy fantasizes about a special girl.” He shrugged.
He fantasized about me? I was still in a daze from our kiss, and I was afraid it would take some time for me to snap out of it.
“Okay, let me put it this way: if your father knew that I was kissing you on that rooftop, he’d never let us go up together, even if we just wanted to enjoy the stars.”