by Lacey Silks
“Jo?”
I took a step back and leaned over, blocking the sun from his face so that he could see me.
“Hi.” I waved with a full hand splayed out as if I was about to count out on my fingers. “I brought muffins. And cupcakes. Would you like to try my cupcakes?” I asked, reaching out with the box.
“Hrmph.” he cleared his throat, trying not to laugh. “Your cupcakes?”
“Yes, my cupcakes. You know how good my cupcakes are, don’t you?”
What the hell was wrong with me?
“Jo, right now I’m looking at your long pale legs, and when you say it that way, you make it sound like you’re talking about…” I saw his cheeks turn red as his gaze ventured higher to my chest.
I crossed my arms over my breasts. “Carter! Stop looking at my boobs.”
“Sorry, can’t help it.”
He finally got up and walked toward me in his half-naked glory.
“You better put something on or you’re going to catch a cold.”
Carter reached for the box I was holding, opened it, and swept his finger through the cream frosting before licking it all off in slow motion. My jaw snapped when my mouth fell open as I followed the tip of his tongue leaving a clean trail behind. My arms peppered with goosebumps.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not. I’m perfectly fine,” I lied. There was no way I would admit to him that he was causing an uproar inside my body. I mean, who in their right mind walks around half-naked when spring has barely started? “Your father’s car?” I pointed to the Buick he was fixing, the same one we’d driven to prom in.
“Yeah. If I can get it going again, I get to keep it.”
“Is that hard to do? You know, fix it.”
“Don’t know yet. I’m taking it apart first to see what’s wrong.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Would you like to come in for tea or something?”
“It looks like you’re busy. I don’t want to interrupt.”
“I’ve always got time for you.” He winked. It was genuine and even a little bit happy, which was a good thing because making sure that Carter was happy and moving on from his loss was my goal. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower, if you want to wait for me.”
“Okay.”
“Wanna sit inside or outside?”
“I’ll wait outside. The weather is nice, and apparently my legs need some sun.”
He scanned me from the bottom up and back down again, stirring a weird feeling in my stomach once more, and said, “There’s a patio set in the back. I won’t be long.”
I wanted to tell him to take his time, because in all honesty, I had to pull myself together while he was showering, but Carter was gone before I got another word out, and I exhaled in relief.
Chapter 15
As soon as Carter disappeared through the side door, I pushed the gate open and strolled to the back yard. Tall trees ringed the perimeter, followed by a forest. Mr. Grafton’s yard turned out to be the size of a quarter of a soccer field. He was one of the other people who had died the night the tornado hit the barn. Evidence of old garden work was stacked to the right, propped against the falling fence: shovels, buckets, rakes, watering cans, and a weeder. The rusty edges of the tools flaked off here and there. Over-bloomed tulips and daffodils swayed to the gentle breeze, their last petals falling to the ground. There was enough space here for a future pool – make that three pools – and a garden. I wondered what Carter planned to do with the place.
I cleared a dusty chair and took a seat, extending my legs in the sun, and gently lifted my dress so that my thighs could catch some rays as well. Carter was right. My skin wasn’t usually this light, but the long winter and staying indoors while trying to keep up with the bakery’s orders and practicing my new pastry skills had taken a toll on my tan. If I didn’t get some sun before Nick returned at the end of June, he wouldn’t recognize me.
Ten minutes later, the back door squeaked open as Carter stepped through with a jug of lemonade, two glasses, plates, and a wet rag underneath his arm. I immediately lowered my feet and straightened my dress. He was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt. Carter must have made use of the nice weather earlier in the week because his skin already looked sun-kissed.
“Made lemonade last night and had some left over. Is that okay?”
“It’ll go well with the cupcakes.” I smiled. “Thank you.”
He pulled out another chair, set the tray with the lemonade aside, and wiped the glass table before taking a seat in the wicker chair across from me. Carter sipped on his drink while I did on mine. My gaze darted up every few seconds to see whether he was done, only to be caught in the act. He smiled politely, and I finally broke our awkward silence.
“I never realized this place was so big.”
“I know. Me neither. Old man Grafton had all this land and didn’t know what to do with it. I have my work cut out for me.”
“What are your plans?” I opened the lid of the cupcake box and set one on a plate for each of us.
“I don’t know. I have to get the garage organized first, clean this place up a bit, and then maybe once I get the business going, I’ll install a pool. This backyard definitely needs a pool.”
“You’ve got furniture in there?” I asked, looking back.
“I do, but it’s old. Most of it is still Mr. Grafton’s. It came with the place. I have no idea what to do with the old drapes, decorations, and girly things like that. I’ll probably throw them out. The fabric and walls are stained with cigarette smoke. Daisy would have known what to do.”
The mention of our best friend was heart-wrenching. I reached for his hand, squeezing it gently. “It’s okay, Carter. It will get better. Maybe I can help out with the more girly things sometime.”
“Really?”
“Sure, just tell me what you need. I can’t promise when exactly I’ll be able to do it, because with just the one bakery operating, it’s been busy, but maybe I can just drop by whenever I have time?”
“Sure, that works. And if you ever have a car that needs fixing, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks. I do.”
There was that silence again. It was weird. I’d never been in a situation with Carter where I didn’t know what to say or what to do, but maybe that was because I’d never technically been alone with him, or at least, not since we’d almost gotten lost in the woods on our high school camping trip and he’d kissed me. The memory sent some heat to my cheeks.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. “Your cheeks are bright red.”
“I don’t know why, but I’m remembering our camping trip.”
“Yeah, that was a blast, wasn’t it? Until we had to send out a search party for you and Nick.”
“Actually, I was thinking about how I’ve never really gotten to spend time with just you. You know, as friends and all.” Why was my voice shaking? If Carter heard it, he didn’t say anything. “Not since we went to gather wood in the forest.”
“Oh. Yeah, I’m sorry about the kiss. I shouldn’t have done that without your permission.”
“It’s okay. We were kids. And I didn’t make it easy on anyone, given how confused I was about my own friendship with Nick.”
“So you were thinking about that kiss?”
“Sort of.”
“You’re a good kisser, Jo.”
I laughed before taking a sip of my lemonade. Was there an appropriate response to such a compliment? “And you’re a smooth talker, as always.”
“Hey, it’s a talent I’m not willing to part with.”
“So, what happened to the firefighter dream?” I asked. “I really thought you’d be good at it.”
“It’s still a dream, but I need some time. I want my mind clear when I work. You’re dealing with people’s lives, I and that’s something I don’t take lightly. So I want to wait until I know I’m ready. And I’m nowhere near ready yet.
That’s why the mechanic side business for now.” He reached forward and wiped what I assumed was frosting from the corner of my mouth. I stilled and watched him suck it off his thumb.
What were we talking about? Oh, firefighting!
I licked my lips, staring abnormally at his, wondering whether he still kissed the same way he had that day. Guilt swept through my mind, and I shook the thought away.
“Well, when you’re ready, I’m sure you’d be a great asset to the firehouse.”
“That’s what Captain Clark says. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
“Carter, he’s your father. There’s no way you could ever disappoint him.”
But my words of encouragement didn’t seem to be getting through.
“You’re strong and dependable. I know that once you commit, you won’t back out, and you’ll make everyone in that firehouse proud.”
He finally grinned. “Thanks. Nick is one lucky man to have you. If I were him, I’d never let you out of my sight.”
I bit my lip, unsure what to say, because secretly I’d always wished that Nick hadn’t left.
“My life means nothing without him. I’m sorry. With Daisy gone, it must be difficult hearing things like that.”
“I won’t say it’s not, because it is, but you’re both my friends, and I’m very happy for you guys.”
“Have you thought about finding someone else to share your life with? I mean, I don’t know if it’s too soon or if there’s a standard time frame to move on, but you’ll move on one day, won’t you? You’re a handsome man, and I’m sure there are girls in this town and a couple of towns over as well who’d be lucky to have you.”
Was there a protocol one was expected to follow when they lost their loved one?
“Thanks. I’m happy on my own for now because I can’t picture anyone else other than Daisy at my side. And I don’t want to replace her. I want to hold on to her for as long as possible. I can’t believe I’m even talking to you about her. I mean, I haven’t talked to anyone about her since that day.”
“It’s helpful for me too, Carter. I loved her like a sister, and I know that she loved you like a soul mate. It may not get easier to live with her loss, but at least we’re able to live, right?”
He took in a deep breath and then let all the air out of his lungs. “Yeah, she definitely was my… everything.”
I finished my cupcake and lemonade. “A bunch of daisies would look really nice around the base of that tree.” I pointed to the weeping willow in the back.
“I think Daisy would have liked that too.”
“Can I plant them for you next time I’m here?”
“You’d do that?”
“Sure. Why not? I think I may plant some in front of Marge’s house as well. It’ll keep Daisy’s memory alive.”
“I was afraid after you saw this dump, you’d never want to come over again.”
“That’s nonsense. It’ll give me something to do before summer and keep my mind occupied before Nick comes home.”
A gust of wind brought the smell of manure, and Carter wrinkled his nose. “Sorry about the smell, but Betsy has bad gas.”
The cow who’d been born on my and Nick’s birthdays still roamed the fields by Mr. Grafton’s – now Carter’s – house. Mrs. Gladstone lived past the second row of trees.
“She comes over to the side yard sometimes. I think old man Grafton used to feed her.”
We heard another moo.
“You think she’d like a cupcake?” he asked.
“I don’t know. You can try.”
Carter got up and went over by the fence. He reached his hand out to the cow’s muzzle and she gently removed the cupcake from his palm.
“I think she likes your cupcakes, Jo. I may have found a new friend.”
If Carter was thinking of becoming friends with cows, then the situation was worse than I thought. But I guess anything to keep his mind occupied was better than nothing at this point.
Carter came back and stretched his legs out. His shirt lifted a fraction, enough for me to get another glimpse of his toned abs. While it felt wrong to be drawn to his strong physique, like I was cheating on Nick, my curiosity won out.
“So, what’s going on with the bakery? Must be hard on you with your house gone.”
“We’re staying with Marge. I think Dad wants to make it permanent but doesn’t know how. If you ask me, they should just stay in the house, convert it to a normal home, and build a huge bakery beside it, instead of re-building our house.”
“That’s a great idea. You should tell your dad.”
“You think?”
“Sure. And are you going to work at the new bakery?”
“I’d like to, but I have other plans. If my father can still manage it all for a while, I was thinking of starting up an online business where people could place their orders on the Internet, and we’d ship the cakes and cupcakes right to their front door.”
He sat up straight, his eyes going wide. “Jo, you should do it.”
“You think?”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard in years. Wait, this means I could order your cupcakes without coming over.”
“Carter, if you ever do that, I will personally deliver them and smash them on your front step. You live ten minutes away, and I miss seeing you. I miss everybody. Promise me that you’ll come over whenever you need cupcakes.”
His gaze flew straight to my chest again, and I frowned at him. “Real cupcakes, Carter. Not my boobs.”
“Sorry not sorry. I can’t help myself. But seriously, you should look into the delivery idea.”
I couldn’t help but gloat on the inside. I didn’t realize that it would feel this good to talk to Carter about my life – about Nick and Daisy and my plans as a baker.
“You know, people could get addicted to your cupcakes once they try them.” He took another swipe of fresh frosting with his finger and stuck it in his mouth. I was beginning to learn that Carter favored the toppings over the cupcakes.
He then shot off his chair. “Oh, my God, Jo! You should send mini-samples to bigger businesses with your site information. DELIVERED FRESH.” He made a gesture with his hand as if he were writing a sign. “People will go nuts for them.”
I felt my eyes grow wide and stood up in my excitement, throwing my arms around his neck. “That’s a great idea! Thank you.”
When I realized that I was standing against him, chest to chest and heart to heart, and he was holding me by my hips, I slowly let go, slid down his hard body, and straightened my dress.
“I’m sorry. That was inappropriate.”
“What are you talking about? We’re friends, right? Besides, I’ve known you from way before you had boobs, Jo.”
That wasn’t helping, because now he was actually staring at them.
“Stop that.” I pointed my finger at him. “I should get going anyways. I’m sure those buns aren’t going to bake themselves.”
I turned around and headed for the gate. Feeling his stare on my behind, I stopped and turned once more. “And stop staring at my butt.”
“Hey, you said buns – and I’m a guy. It’s impossible not to stare.”
Carter walked me out the back yard, as any gentleman in Hope Bay would have. I waved before heading out.
“Jo?” he called behind me.
I swiveled on my heel, expecting another sleek comeback.
“Thank you for coming over. I mean that.”
“You’re welcome. And I’d like to see your face at the bakery a little more often as well.”
“It’s not because I don’t want to. I gotta watch my carbs if I’m going to stay strong and lean for the firehouse.” He lifted his white shirt, showing off his six-pack again. Wow, I definitely didn’t remember Carter having perfect abs. Thank goodness he lowered it; otherwise, I would have stood there until someone smacked me over my head. “But I’ll definitely drop in for some of your cupcakes.” He winked, wiggling his brows, and
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Today had been a good day, and when I saw a falling star on my rooftop that night, I secretly wished for more good days like this one.
Dear Nick,
We’re slowly moving on from the horrific nightmare. I visit Daisy’s grave every few days. Carter lingers around the cemetery most days. He’s lost, and I don’t blame him. He runs by the bakery sometimes, then stays at his new garage, fixing cars. I think he finally broke through, though, because now he’ll wave to me when he sees me. I guess that’s good. We had a nice chat at his house the other day and he even fed Betsy a cupcake. Oh, yeah, Carter bought Mr. Grafton’s house. I can feel that he’s slowly coming around. I hope I never lose somebody I love, but of course, that’s just wishful thinking because no one lives forever, right?
Dad and Marge have agreed that it is best if we don’t rebuild our house and instead focus on building a new bakery — one that’s large enough for both of them, and me. Once it’s done over the summer, I hope to get the business going online as well. I have so many ideas! Carter said I should send out samples when we’re ready.
I’m holding onto our memories together like they’re gold. I never thought that a year could go by so slowly, yet so fast. I dream about you every night and yes, more often than I feel appropriate to admit, I do touch myself thinking about you. When I pretend that it’s your hands on me, it’s much quicker and fiercer. I bite my covers in fear that I’ll scream. Should I even be writing this? I can’t wait to touch you and to kiss you and I can’t wait for you to touch me again as well. I feel like my cheeks are being set on fire just thinking about our reunion.
Last night I saw a falling star on the rooftop and made a wish. I know it will come true, because I know that soon I’ll be in your arms.
Counting down the days.
Yours always,
Joelle