by Lacey Silks
“I would have, if she didn’t moo at me each time I approached.”
“That’s what cows do. They moo.” I chuckled at Carter’s perplexed face. He was acting like a complete city boy, as if he’d never seen a cow before.
“Yeah, but this one’s different. Watch.”
He took a wary step toward Betsy, who of course never stopped watching him from the side, and stopped when she bobbed her head up and down.
“See, she’s going to attack.”
“Awww, Carter, she loves you.”
“What?”
“Don’t you remember? It’s what she used to do to Nick when we passed by the farm. She wants you to pet her. I guess now that he’s gone, she’s found a new buddy.”
“She loves me?”
“Step closer, and she’ll kneel and let you rub her head.”
I watched him pace toward the cow as if he were approaching a tank that was aiming right at him. The scene was getting funnier by the moment, and while I wanted to warn him about what would happen if you approached Betsy from the left side, I didn’t. Everything inside me was twisting into knots filled with laughter as I composed myself on the outside. As Carter reached out toward Betsy’s head, she did what she’d always done to Nick — licked him from the jaw right up the center of his face, over his nose and to the top of his head, setting his hair standing.
I burst out laughing.
“What the hell, Betsy?”
“I told you she loves you.”
“You knew this would happen, didn’t you?”
“Sort of. You need to be on her right to pet her, otherwise she’ll lick you.”
“Lick? I feel like I just took a shower. Stay, Betsy. I’m grabbing a cupcake and taking you back home.”
“If you don’t pet her, she’ll break out again,” I said.
“How did Nick deal with her?”
“He stopped by the farm each time we jogged.”
“To pet her?”
“Yes.”
“And that made her happy?”
“I guess. It worked. She hasn’t escaped since we were fourteen.”
“Jo, will you come with me to bring her back?”
“Are you afraid of a cow, Carter?”
“Me, afraid? Hell, yeah.”
“Let me brush my teeth at least. And move her over by the tree, so she doesn’t chew up all my flowers.”
I turned on my heel, changed into leggings and a tank top, and quickly brushed my teeth. I grabbed a single cupcake on the way out.
“Is that your breakfast?” Carter asked.
“No, this is for Betsy.”
“Aren’t you having breakfast?”
“No appetite.”
I jogged down the three steps and took Betsy’s rope, which was attached to the leather strap around her neck. “Come on, Betsy. Let’s teach Carter how to deal with women.”
She mooed as if understanding me, took the cupcake out of my hand, and followed. We walked down the road with Betsy behind us. I let go of the short rope. Given that Carter was her new best friend, he could also be her guide.
“I haven’t seen you around in two weeks, Jo.”
“Oh, you know. I’ve been around.”
“Crying over Nick?”
“I’m pretty sure that I’m out of tears.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve done a year before; I can do two now.”
“You know I don’t live far away if you need to talk, don’t you?”
“I do. Thank you. I may take you up on that. What’s going on with you and Molly? Are the rumors that I heard true?”
“Yes. We went out on a date.”
“That’s great news. Carter, I’m so proud of you.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t end that well.”
“Why not?”
“She didn’t like bull riding.”
“You took her bull riding? What were you thinking?”
“I was hoping if she got used to the riding motion, she might warm up to the idea of riding something else, if you know what I mean.”
Oh, I knew what he meant. What I couldn’t understand was how someone like Carter could be so brainless.
“You can’t think with your” – I looked down at his crotch – “penis all the time. Especially when it comes to Molly.”
“I promise, I don’t.”
“Liar.”
“I was just trying to get her loose. I mean Molly’s an amazing girl, but sometimes it feels like she’s got the wrong thing stuck up her ass.”
“Carter!”
“What?”
I shook my head. “You’re taking the wrong approach with Molly. You need to share her interests, enjoy her company, and be there for her.”
“I totally want to enjoy her… company. I really like her, but I get nervous around her and say and do the wrong things. She’s just so different from Daisy. Maybe I shouldn’t even be thinking about Molly that way. What if we really aren’t compatible?”
“You can’t force it. You need to let it happen naturally, and I’m sure you’ll look much less like an ass if you’re not trying to impress her.”
“I really look like an ass?”
“Bull riding on the first date?”
“Daisy loved it.”
“Daisy was a feisty spirit, but that doesn’t mean that Molly isn’t fun or adventurous. Molly may seem more reserved than Daisy, but she has so much to offer. Someone like you could really bring her out of her shell. She’s such a smart and loving girl, and” – I raised my finger to ensure I had his full attention – “she’s the one who initiated our skinny dipping that time at the lake. That should tell you something.”
“Seriously? I would have never thought that.”
“There’s more than one aspect to her personality.” I noticed how the sun shone off my engagement ring, reflecting the light, at the right angle spreading a prism of colors onto my finger. “Like facets of a jewel.”
“A jewel?”
“Different cuts shine when the light turns, but it’s still the same stone. Molly’s light shines at a different angle, that’s all. It’s the same way some people think you’re a jerk, but I know that you’re a very kind man.”
“What?”
“Well, your mouth does get away from you sometimes, but I know that it’s always with good intentions, because there’s much more to you than your smart mouth. You’re a special kind of jewel, Carter.”
“Thanks, Jo.” Carter scrunched his brows as if he were in deep thought. I hated to see him doubt himself so much.
“You do like her, don’t you?”
“I’m actually surprised how much I like her. I mean, like a lot, and I never thought we would mesh well together.”
“Good, then give it some time; go out on few more dates; be a gentleman. I remember you telling me that you date to get to know someone better because you can’t stop thinking about them day and night. Give Molly a chance. Let her open up to you, and woo her.”
Betsy let out a loud moo.
“I didn’t say moo, Betsy. I said woo.”
“She can’t understand you.”
“Sure she can. Watch this. Betsy, can you moo?”
Mooooo!
“See? Anyway, if you want, I’ll help you with Molly.”
“Well, it will have to wait until she’s back next summer because she’s book shopping and packing this week.”
“All right, then you should definitely ask her out to dinner before she leaves. No expectations, Carter. Just sit back, relax, and talk. And definitely no bull riding.”
“So, do I have to buy flowers, open her door, and pull out her chair and all?”
“Carter, do we even live in the same town? Of course you do. Please tell me that’s what you’ve been doing. And no jeans.”
“What’s wrong with jeans?”
“They don’t say gentleman.”
“Not the way I wear them. They show off my packa
ge. Daisy liked it.”
“Not all women are the same! Besides, you don’t need to be drawing any extra attention to your crotch.”
“Are you drawn to my crotch?”
“Any woman with a pair of eyes always looks that way to see if anything is outlined. It’s like a law. But with Molly, you need to tone it down.”
We reached Betsy’s gate, which was wide open. I led her through and scratched her behind her right ear, and she mooed in appreciation.
“Now, promise her you’ll stop by every morning,” I said.
“I promise, Betsy. After Molly leaves, you’re my number one girl from now on.”
“Hey!”
“I’m kidding. You’re not gonna lick me like she did, are you?”
I punched him lightly in his right arm and rolled my eyes. “You know, talking to you makes time go by faster.”
“Thanks. I enjoy your company as well. So, since Nick is gone, do you need someone to pet you too?” he asked.
“In your dreams, Carter.”
“Hey, it was worth a shot.”
“See, that’s the kind of thing you shouldn’t say to Molly.”
“Of course, but when the cat’s away, the mice will play.” He wiggled his brows playfully.
“Molly’s not leaving until next weekend.”
“I’m just trying to get a head start. You know, we can keep each other company while our significant others are out of town.”
I sighed and shook my head. At least Carter would remain in town to keep me entertained over the next two years.
“Of course we can.”
Something swirled in my stomach. We closed the gate to Betsy’s field and I touched my hand to my navel. And just as Betsy lifted her tail to do her number two, I bent over in half and puked. The nausea came out of nowhere – well, maybe Betsy helped a bit – but I couldn’t stop it. My stomach was being emptied with a jetting force. I felt it tighten into one small blob. The vomit spilled out of my mouth and nose at the same time, tiring me out.
“That’s disgusting!” I heard from the side. Carter passed me a piece of cloth and I wiped my mouth. When I stood back up, I realized that he’d taken off his shirt, and I’d stained it with my vomit. My head hummed, Carter’s silhouette faded in and out of focus, and I blacked out.
When I opened my eyes, I was on the ground, staring into Carter’s and Betsy’s eyes.
“There you are. What was that?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“I’m taking you to Doctor Burke.”
“I forgot about breakfast. That must be it.”
“Jo, no one throws up because they miss breakfast. Were you feeling okay this morning?”
“Just tired.”
“My house is around the corner. Let’s grab some water and drive to the clinic.”
“It’s not far away.”
“You’re not walking.”
He scooped me into his arms, and shirtless, he carried me. Maybe it was a better idea that I didn’t walk, because my legs felt like they’d been amputated. Carter put on a fresh shirt at home, gave me a bottle of water, and holding me steady under his arm, walked me to his car. Barely a minute later, we arrived at the clinic.
Doctor Burke waved us in as soon as he saw us at the front door of the clinic, which was also his house.
“Good morning, Carter, Joelle. I hope nothing bad brings you in this morning.”
“She threw up and fainted.”
“Has this happened before?”
“No,” I answered.
“Wait – you fainted at the wedding as well, didn’t you?”
“Well, then yes.”
“I remember that. You were supposed to check in with me.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been hectic.”
Doctor Burke reached into a cupboard for a round container. “I’m going to need a urine sample. We’ll draw some blood as well, but it will be a while before we get the results. Have you been eating well?”
“I think so. My appetite has been so-so.”
“All right. Let’s get you checked out.”
After I peed in the cup, Doctor Burke took my blood pressure, which was on the lower side but still in the normal range, listened to my heart, and checked my motor skills. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, and I waited patiently for him to return into the fluorescent-lit room. All the while, Carter waited at the front.
“I think I have the answer to your ailment.”
“Great… or not so great. What’s wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re pregnant, Joelle. Congratulations.”
What?
“Wait, that can’t be.”
“Have you been sexually active?”
“Well, yes, but…”
“This is just from the urine test; the blood work won’t be back for about a week to confirm. You should start taking pre-natal medications, though. Here’s a sample pack for you. The nausea should ease in a couple of months, but if it doesn’t, or if it gets worse, call me. And make sure you don’t skip breakfast anymore. Do you have any questions?”
Even if I did, I wasn’t sure that I knew how to ask them at this moment. The shock factor of this news was definitely over the limit.
When we walked out of the back room, Carter stood up and pulled his fingers through his hair. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Congratulations, Mr. Clark. You’re going to be a father.”
Carter hit the floor.
Dear Nicholas,
I know you may not get this letter for a while, but I don’t know what else to do. We’ve tried calling the officer in charge of your deployment, but we couldn’t get through. My father even went to visit the base, but he couldn’t get any more information either. I need to get in touch with you. It’s an emergency. Nick, I’m pregnant, and in six months we’re going to have a baby. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. I’m excited for our future, and us, but nervous because I don’t want to go through this without you by my side. I don’t want you to miss the birth of our first child.
I’m feeling well and the baby is doing well too. Doctor Burke says that its heart is very strong. My morning sickness has passed and I’m eating well. Our parents are very excited to have their first grandchild, but they also wish you were here.
Wherever you are, I pray each night that you are safe. I talk to our baby and tell him or her stories about our childhood and how brave a father our baby has. I know that when you get this letter, you’ll call or write. I know you wouldn’t miss the birth, no matter where you were in the world, so I’ll keep on praying for your safety, and that somehow you’ll get this news soon.
Love always,
Joelle
* * *
Dear Nicholas,
Today I felt the baby kick. At first I thought it was gas, and then it kicked again. It was when I was tasting my new cupcake flavor: strawberry-banana. Well, the dough is banana, and the filling is strawberry. It’s delicious. I also went to the city for my first wedding consultation. They want a seven-tier cake, made up of cupcakes, with a Harry Potter theme. I’m attaching my first sketch of the cake to this letter. If it turns out as beautiful as I think it will, it will be amazing.
I’m beginning to show as well. Not a lot, but I can’t wait for this little baby. Nick, I’m scared. Not of the pregnancy or the birth, but that you won’t get the news and won’t be here. I don’t want to do it alone. I want you here, by my side. I want our baby to be held by its mother and father first.
Marge is worried about you as well. My father confirmed that you’re at an undisclosed location and probably won’t get any of my letters, but I won’t stop writing. I can’t stop hoping, because hope is all I have left.
I love you.
Joelle
* * *
Dear Nicholas,
My pants ripped today. Split in two right over my ass when I was having dinner with Molly and Carter. Molly visited for Christmas and our two
friends have become closer, but Carter is still hesitating over how to move the relationship forward. I think he’ll get the hang of it soon. He won’t say so, but I have a feeling he’s just making excuses because he’s still missing Daisy.
Every day I wonder whether you’ll get my letters. Sometimes I cry at night, thinking how unfair life is, because you’re away. Then I suck it up and think that it could be worse, right? I mean, you’re fighting for us, for our safety and freedom. Still, I will not lose hope that you will be here in three months. That by some miracle you’ll get my letters.
I promised Molly that she could be with me for the birth. It will be good for her nurse training, and I’ll have someone close with me in the room. Marge volunteered as well. She’s been knitting a blanket for fifteen minutes each morning. Your mom has been in good spirits, but I see the worry on her face draw new lines underneath her eyes the more time passes.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love always,
Joelle
* * *
Dear Nicholas,
It’s getting more difficult to sleep. The baby likes to stay up late at night. It pressed its foot against my belly today, and I could see the outline. It was beautiful. I took a picture for you to see when you come back. I’ve been taking lots of pictures of my belly. Sometimes I feel like I want to keep it inside of me forever to keep it safe from the outside world. Then I realize that’s impossible, and I’m grateful that her or his father is doing a great job of keeping us safe.
Betsy’s pregnant as well. She’ll be due around the same time that I am. I think it happened when we saw the bull mount her when we went to the lake. It’s possible that’s when it happened to us as well, when the condom broke, but since we had sex every other day, it’s difficult to pinpoint. Carter’s been visiting her each day on his way to the fire station. I’m getting a lot of pregnancy advice and baby advice from all the customers.
The wedding I catered went very well, and the cake was a hit. All my business cards were gone by the end of the night, and I already received a half dozen new orders. I think the next few months will be busy ones as I get ready for the birth and the weddings.