by Catelyn Cash
Afterward Kayla lay in a boneless heap, unable to move, barely able to breathe. Jake slipped off the bed and went to the bathroom before returning with a warm cloth, which he used to gently wash her.
He climbed into the bed and snuggled against her. “There are a few more things we can try, just in case you still have any concerns we might be gay.”
Seth on one side, Jake on the other. Had anything ever felt so right? “You’re not gay,” she mumbled sleepily. “Trust me. I would know.”
“You would?”
“Mmmm. My husband is gay.” Oh crap. Had she really said that aloud? Opening her eyes, she saw both men staring at her with identical, shocked expressions. “Ex-husband,” she said quickly. “I should have said ex-husband. Marc and I are divorced.”
“Glad to hear it,” said Seth, breathing out. “I mean, not glad you’re divorced but… Well, you know what I mean.”
“You married a gay man?” Jake said. “Isn’t that unusual?”
“Obviously I didn’t know when I married him. Unfortunately, neither did he.” One day she might be able to say that and not sound bitter. Apparently not today.
“Bummer,” said Seth softly.
“Yeah, bummer,” echoed Jake.
Kayla knew they would have more questions. Everyone always had questions when they learned the truth about her divorce. But she didn’t want to talk about Marc.
“Can I ask you both something?” she said, keen to change the subject. “I know why you let on to my friends you were gay, but why do your students think it? I overheard one of the girls say it, and no one contradicted her.”
“Ask him.” Seth pulled her into his arms with a happy sigh. “Sadly, you are about to discover that our friend here has an ego almost as big as my cock. He thinks every woman in the world is after him and he needs a cover story to stop them fighting over that skinny body of his.”
“You can joke,” grumbled Jake. “But you have no idea what it’s like to be a single, straight man on campus. Women were all over me like legs on an octopus. I had a full-time job fighting them off.” Seth snorted derisively and Kayla smiled, but Jake continued. “Luckily my move to New York coincided with a lengthy visit from Seth. He, for reasons best known to himself, took to drinking in the local gay bar while I was at work.”
She twisted to look at Seth, who merely shrugged. “The beer is cheap.”
“And he also started working out at a gym that had a reputation as a gay pickup joint.”
Seth shrugged again, unconcerned. “It was close to home.”
“A couple of my students saw him there. Well, you’ve seen his body…”
“I am buff.” Seth smiled modestly.
“And they knew we lived together…”
Kayla wasn’t buying that. “Don’t tell me they assumed you were gay because Seth stays fit and you shared an apartment. That’s ridiculous.”
“It would be ridiculous,” Seth agreed. “If that was what had happened. Tell her the rest, Jake.”
“They didn’t assume anything,” Jake admitted, looking pleased. “They came right out and asked me, and I was quick to see the potential. I might have told a few white lies, but now my life is just so easy. Women take a look at my big, tough boyfriend and slink off defeated before the battle has even begun.”
Kayla thought of the lengths Marc had gone to to hide his sexuality from her, from his family, and even from himself. She shook her head in sleepy amusement. “And it really doesn’t bother you, what people think?”
Jake cuddled closer. “Other people? No. Only you. I care very much what you think.”
“What about you?” She nudged Seth. “Don’t you care?”
“Why would I?” he said comfortably. “What people think about me is none of my business.”
Two men utterly secure in their sexuality. She wondered if they had any idea how big a turn-on she found that. “What about friends?” she pressed. “Surely there must have been questions.”
Up until that moment Kayla had been basking in the attention of two pairs of softly stroking hands, of gentle, sleepy kisses. She had almost dozed off. If either man had replied, their answer might not even have registered before she sank into sleep. But the lack of response did register. She opened her eyes in time to intercept a look between them.
“Guys?” she said.
“I don’t suppose many of our old college friends would be entirely shocked to hear the rumors about us,” Jake admitted.
“What do you mean?” Fully awake now, she tried to ignore the sudden tension knotting her belly. Their sheepishness didn’t reassure her.
“Remember, Seth and I have known each other for years.” Jake seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “We were roommates in college. It may be hard for you to believe, but we weren’t always the excellent specimens you see before you today. Back then, well, we were scrawny and kind of geeky.”
She did find that hard to believe. Naked and glistening with sweat, they were as near perfect examples of manhood as she had ever seen. She said nothing, waiting, though her tension continued to rise.
“I was studying computer science,” Seth told her. “Geekiness personified.”
“And when I arrived to start college in London, I hadn’t even started shaving yet,” Jake said.
Seth picked up the story. “We were young, away from home for the first time, surrounded by girls, and neither of us were getting any action. We jerked off a lot.”
“A lot,” Jake said.
Despite her tension, her mouth went dry at the image. “Together?” she blurted, then covered her mouth with her hand. Of course not together.
Another shared look passed between them. “Not at first,” said Jake.
Her shock must have shown because he hurried on. “You have to understand, we really did jerk off a lot. And we were in a very small apartment. We walked in on each other a couple of times.”
“Quite often,” Seth confirmed.
“In the end it just wasn’t worth hiding what we were doing,” Jake finished.
“You could have closed the door,” Kayla said testily.
Seth’s gaze slid away. “Yeah…well.”
Her imagination took her to a tiny student flat, watching these two busily work their cocks in separate rooms. Excitement fired inside her even as her heart sank further with every incriminating word they uttered. “So…?”
“So after a few beers, we started wanking together. A few more beers and we moved to wanking each other,” said Seth.
“It was no big deal,” Jake assured her. “Especially as we still weren’t getting anywhere with the girls.”
No big deal? Closing her eyes now, she could see the pair of them, in front of the TV, jerking each other off. Unbelievably, despite their recent activities, she felt arousal stir inside her.
Jeans undone and hands inside? Or were they naked? Just hands? Or did they kiss too?
She swallowed. “And from that it progressed to…?
“A dick up the bum?” Seth grinned, flashing his perfect teeth. “Yes, but only after he’d bought me a few drinks. We weren’t tarts.”
Kayla was shocked to the core. Not just by the images playing in her head or by the simmering heat inside her, but by the casual way he relayed this information.
“So you are gay?” she said.
They exchanged horrified looks.
“What? No!” said Seth.
“Absolutely not!” said Jake.
They’d just admitted to mutual masturbation and anal intercourse. Kayla scrambled off the bed, not caring who she kicked in the process.
Both men sat. “If we could get a date with a woman, we did,” Seth told her. “We were simply each other’s fallback. One step up from our own right hand.” He sounded as if he genuinely believed what he was saying.
Kayla jabbed her arms into the sleeves of her robe, tying it tightly in a double knot. “Right. Because that’s what guys do?”
“Well, obviously not everyo
ne,” said Jake.
“You two, though. Yet you’re still trying to tell me you’re not gay? Or bi?”
“We’re not. If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn’t have needed him.”
“I’d have watched, though.” Seth grinned.
“And I’d have let you.” Jake grinned back.
They thought this was funny? After what she’d told them about Marc? Her stomach knotted as tightly as her robe, and she choked her next words out past her anger. “What you’re describing is a gay relationship.”
Their grins faded. “No. No way,” said Jake, swinging his legs off the bed.
“No,” said Seth. “We don’t fancy men. Or at least I don’t.” He looked askance at Jake.
“Me neither.” Jake sounded appalled at the idea.
“You just fancy each other?”
Jake shrugged. “I can see how you might be confused. But we only did it when we didn’t have a woman in our lives.”
She was confused? She walked to the bed and snatched up the tube of lubricant, which she held aloft. The lubricant they so handily carried around with them. “When did you do it last?” she demanded.
Was that a burn of embarrassment on Seth’s cheeks? “Do what?” he mumbled.
“Fuck,” she said, hurling the lube at him. “It’s a simple question. Tell me when you two last fucked.”
Seth caught the tube with snake-strike reflexes. But he didn’t meet her eye, and Jake too looked flushed.
“In the car, on the way here,” Jake admitted. “We didn’t fuck, but he gave me a blowjob.”
That image took her breath away. Fierce arousal warred with her anger, but luckily the anger won out. She forced herself to block the image of Seth’s head in Jake’s lap, of Jake twining his fingers in Seth’s hair, thrusting into his mouth…
How dare they? How dare they have the audacity to stop for a quickie on the way to tell me they aren’t gay?
“We were reliving last night while we drove here,” Jake said. “Talking about you made us horny.”
And they think that makes it all right?
“Kayla, don’t look at us like that,” pleaded Seth. “We didn’t know about your husband. We wouldn’t have told you about us if we’d known it would upset you.”
No, they’d have kept quiet. Like Marc had kept quiet. And then one day they’d have turned away from her, just like him.
“He’s right,” Jake jumped in. “We don’t need to have sex with each other. Not when we can have it with you. And now we know we’re going to see each other again—”
“That’s not going to happen,” she said, pleased that her voice sounded steady when inside she was falling apart.
“But—”
“Seth! Jake!” she snapped. “Enough. I understand. I do. The sex is mind-blowing. I’ve never known anything like it.” She held up a hand as Seth took a step toward her. “No. Hear me out. I could have had a relationship with you. I could. If you were gay and wanted to add a woman to the mix every now and then, I think I could do that.”
Oh yes. She could do it. The thought of them fucking each other, of Jake’s cock inside Seth, aroused her so much she could barely think straight.
“But I can’t have a relationship with anyone, anyone, who is hiding from their sexuality. Not again.”
“We’re not hiding,” Seth began, but he trailed off when the tears she couldn’t hold back spilled onto her cheeks.
She swiped them away furiously. They believed what they were saying. Just as Marc had no doubt believed his wedding vows. But Kayla had been that third person in the bedroom, ignored while the other two got it on. She wouldn’t be that woman again, surplus to requirements and not welcome even to watch.
“Kayla, please.” Seth sounded as distressed as she felt. “How can we prove we’re not gay?”
Deep down, Kayla knew proving such a negative was impossible, but she was running on emotion rather than logic. “Have you even given your relationship a chance?” she demanded.
Two pairs of baffled eyes looked back at her. “We’ve been friends for years—” said Jake.
“Stop that!” Her voice sounded like a pistol crack. “You know what I mean. A physical relationship. An emotional one. You two, living as lovers.”
Jake’s face wrinkled in apparent consternation, but Seth answered quickly. “And then you’ll give us a chance? If we give it a go and we still want you, you’ll give us a chance? Done! How long? A week?”
They had no idea how serious she was. Kayla suspected she was already a little bit in love with them. She could not, would not open herself to that kind of pain.
“A year. Look me up in a year. If you still want me, then we’ll talk. Now I’d like you to leave.”
SETH DROVE. THE journey back to the camp was mainly silent. “She’s serious,” he said eventually.
“I know.”
“Shit.”
“Shit, indeed,” Jake echoed glumly.
“No offense,” said Seth, “but I’ve roomed with you before. You, my friend, are a slob.”
“And you are a neat freak. No one makes a bed these days.”
“I suppose I can put up with you,” said Seth. “For Kayla. We just have to live with each other and not have sex.”
They exchanged nervous looks.
“Sleep in the same bed?” asked Jake, his expression suggesting the idea held little appeal.
Seth knew how he felt. “That’s not doing it for me. At least, not without Kayla in the bed too. Besides, you snore.”
“But we can do it,” said Jake resolutely.
“Yeah. We can do it.”
Jake broke the next silence. “We need to try. I know we’ve only just met her, but this feels right, Seth. If we have to be straight to win her, then so be it.”
Jake’s jaw was set, and he stared ahead at the dark road. Seth badly wanted to agree with him. He wanted to agree and bring the conversation to a close. Instead, he took a deep breath. “Why haven’t you ever married?”
“What?” Jake frowned at him.
“You heard me,” said Seth, giving the deserted road more attention than it needed. He knew Jake’s background, knew his friend’s childhood had been a miserable series of ever-changing foster and care homes after his parents died when he was a baby. “You’ve told me often enough that you want a family. Kids. So why don’t you have them?”
“With all the traveling I do? My job is hardly conducive—”
“Are you suggesting there are no married archaeologists?” Seth was sweating worse than on any battlefield, but having started this long overdue conversation, he was determined to see it through. “Is it because of me?”
“You? Yeah.” Jake’s lip curled. “You’ve spoiled me for everyone else.”
Seth clenched his jaw and waited him out.
“Maybe I just haven’t met the right woman,” said Jake belligerently. “Ever think of that?”
“You mean a woman who isn’t jealous of our friendship?” asked Seth. They’d both had them in the past, girlfriends who had tried to get between them. “I’m not talking about sex, and you know it,” he said when Jake opened his mouth. “I’m just asking why neither of us have met a woman we like enough to make us stop fucking each other.”
“Maybe we have,” said Jake. “Kayla.”
Seth wished he could leave it at that. But he couldn’t. “Maybe we don’t have to give up fucking each other for her.”
“What do you mean?”
Seth gripped the wheel. “It turned her on.”
“What did?”
“The thought of you blowing me.”
“For God’s sake, Seth, no, it didn’t! If two men blowing each other turned her on, don’t you think she’d still be married?”
“It turned her on,” Seth insisted. “Her nipples swelled. And her eyes were all over the place. She couldn’t look at us.”
“That’s because she was embarrassed.”
“No. She was aroused. You’ve seen the
sketches she did of the gay scenes at Ma’ K’âaba. She’s into guys having sex. Providing they are into her. What if we don’t have to convince her we’re not gay? What if we just have to convince her that we want her too?”
“Bullshit,” snarled Jake. “I’m not having you ruin this with your amateur psychology. We show her we’re not gay. Which we’re not, so it’s easy.”
Seth didn’t dare look at him. “You’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had,” he said quietly.
The silence stretched until Jake thumped his fist against the door in frustration. “Holy shit, she’s right! We’re gay for each other. What the hell do we do now?”
Chapter Nine
Ten Months Later
The hotel bar was busy, and it took Jake a moment to locate Seth, but when he did, the tight knot of tension he lived with when Seth was away on a mission slowly began to loosen.
Seth wasn’t alone at the bar. A brunette with fake breasts sat on the barstool next to him, flicking her hair and chatting animatedly. Good luck with that, thought Jake, knowing Seth was never one for small talk this soon after returning from a tour of duty.
Jake’s phone rang as he weaved through the crowd to the bar, and he smiled when he saw who was calling. “Kayla. Hi,” he said warmly.
“Have you seen him? Is he okay?” she asked anxiously.
“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Jake said. “Seth?”
Seth looked up, and Jake felt a pang of concern when he saw the pallor beneath his friend’s desert tan. But as their eyes met and locked, some of the lines of tension eased from around Seth’s eyes.
The woman looked from one to the other and sighed. “Like that, is it?” she grumbled, picking up her drink and moving away.
Jake held out the phone to Seth. “It’s Kayla. Want a quick word?”
Seth smiled, for a moment looking like his old self. But when he took the phone and moved away from the busy bar, he walked stiffly, favoring one leg.
Seth came back a few minutes later and handed Jake the phone. “It wasn’t much of a line. She says hi.” He perched carefully back on his barstool, but Jake knew better than to ask about his leg.