by Paige Steele
“I don’t know, you just seemed too . . . umm, like too much of a pretty boy to get dirty.”
Coming close to her ear, I speak softly, so only she can hear, “You have no idea how dirty I can get.”
“Oh, really,” she says back to me, turning so our lips are inches from each other. I know I could kiss her just then, but I’m not sure that would be wise of me.
Just then, Jesse turns back around and faces us after talking to a rider from another team. “I’m sorry, I’d introduce you but I’ve never been given the pleasure of knowing your name.”
“Oh my God, we never did tell each other, did we?”
“Nope, so this is Jesse, I’m Cooper and you are?”
“Holy Shit . . . you’re Cooper? Umm . . . I’m Maddie.”
“Well hello, Maddie.” I know she is putting two and two together to realize just who I am, based on her mouth hanging open.
“I have no idea what is going on here, but Maddie. Can I get you another drink?” Jesse seems confused as hell, but isn’t going to pass up an opportunity.
“Umm, sure, I guess,” she says, looking in his direction, then back at me.
“What?” I chuckle at her. She is cute, though I won’t be going home with her tonight or any night.
“Nothing, I just wouldn’t have guessed you are . . . her, ‘Cooper’ . . . umm, I mean.” She can’t get her words out as she uses air quotes around my name, but I know what she was trying to say.
“I’m nobody’s Cooper, honey.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I see someone I need to talk to.” I know she’ll be in good hands with Jesse. I know I don’t want to have this conversation right here and now.
Looking around the room, I see a couple of Hyped girls that didn’t come with Ansley and I also see Ansley talking to a couple Suzuki riders. This annoys me just a tad, I’m not sure what I want to do about it just yet. The two sweet flavors from that night at Ryan’s make their way over to me, and not being rude, I give them a kiss on the cheek as they lean in and hug me. I know it’d be easy to go down that road again, but really do I want to? I already hit it once, why bother?
I do a quick scan and lock eyes with Ans. She is looking at me then her coworkers and then she looks away, turning and putting her back towards me. I think that says it all, she’s pissed.
Just then Ryan walks up to me, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Nothing, why?”
“Dude, I see her staring at you with other girls and she looks like she could spit fire, she’s so mad.”
“Haha, I saw that too. Honestly I was just deciding what to do.”
“Why the hell don’t the two of you just talk, for God sakes? It’s obvious to those around you that you two have feelings for each other, but neither of you will admit it.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Really, just make your damn move already but don’t fuck with her, Coop. It’s all or nothing with Ansley.”
“I know that, Jackass, which is why it’s difficult for me. I would never want to hurt her. I just need to make sure this is it for me.”
“Yeah, because you fuck this up, you can kiss your friendship goodbye, forever.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
Ansley
ABOUT FORTY-FIVE MINUTES have passed while Ry and Coop stand off to one side of the room talking, but I’m too far away to hear what they are saying. Standing across the room from them I have a feeling the conversation is about me from the stares that they were both giving me. I turn back around and start to talk a couple of the Suzuki guys again.
“Hey there.”
I turn around to find Ryan standing next to me. “Hey, yourself. What were you two talking about over there?”
“Nothing really, he’s jealous of you talking to other guys.”
“You told him it’s nothing, right? I mean, I got to know the Suzuki team from the promotions we’ve had to do.”
“Yes, but he’s being a jackass,” he says, laughing.
“What are you laughing about? I need to find him to explain, then.”
“Peanut, unless you are ready to have a full conversation with him about everything, I wouldn’t go find him tonight.”
I smack his arm for calling me that in public, then tell him I’m not ready for that. But I know deep down I also don’t want him with anyone else either. It’s clear that our talk is going to have to happen soon.
We make our way to the bar and order drinks as I turn, looking around the room. I see Kenna talking to a couple of the Kawasaki riders. Maddie has been chatting it up with the same guy for the last hour; maybe even longer. I have no idea who he is; I haven’t seen him before, but since I’m so new to all this, it’s not surprising.
“Hey, Ryan, do you know who the guy is that Maddie’s talking to?”
“That’s Jesse Anderson . . . he’s one of Cooper’s teammates. He’s a good guy, why?”
“I was just curious.” I shrug my shoulders and turn to face Ryan. We start talking about the up and coming season. He starts telling me that he thinks the competition is going to be a bit harder this year. Both he and Cooper are racing the West Coast circuit, so every weekend for the first several races, I’ll be seeing both of them. But when the East Coast starts up, they won’t be racing, it’s a whole new set of riders for the lites class only, the 450 class or what others call the big bikes, race the entire circuit.
Ryan actually thinks Cooper will be in the mix with some of the fastest riders out there this year. I know Cooper isn’t here to make friends with everyone. He wants that red number one plate in the end, so he is okay with bumping bars to get there. Ryan says Cooper is never a dirty rider, he is just more driven than others, so a quick brake check in the corner to catch someone off guard is okay. He doesn’t connect his bike with another one; he’s clean and fast, plain and simple. But he gets his point across when he goes by you on the track.
Just as we finish up our conversation about who are going to be the ones to watch this year, a couple of Ryan’s teammates walk over. We are chatting with them for about a half hour when the director of Supercross asks us all to come together to watch a promotional video that was put together for the up and coming season. As we start to gather in a large group, the music begins and I recognize the song immediately, I Lived by One Republic. It’s an inspirational song, so it’s very fitting; there are pictures of each of the teams and with some video of the racing mixed in. The candid shots are incredible, it nice to see these guys in their element, but yet so natural, too. I love the ones of them with fans; they all appreciate them and know that without them, the Supercross or Motocross season wouldn’t be what it is today.
After the video, they announce it was about an hour before the ball is going to drop, so to enjoy the food, drinks, and music. Though Ryan only had a couple of drinks earlier, he stops drinking altogether now because he says he is driving home and they have practice tomorrow night, and it’s never fun hung over. Back It Up by Prince Royce comes through the speaker; the DJ turns it up loud as Kenna grabs my wrist, dragging me to the dance floor area. She loves to dance, in fact, we all do. Maddie sees us and heads in our direction in the middle of the room. When the words, “ain’t nothing fake on you, you so so real,” play, Kenna screams them out and points to my chest. I think my face turns ten shades of red, I’m not one to put myself on display and right now I had the feeling all eyes were on me. I turn to see the one set of eyes on me, the ones that matter. I play it up a bit with the girls just because I know he’s watching me. Cooper hasn’t made any move on me. Why? Well maybe it’s about time to see if I can entice him. I think I surprise him by dropping it down, just like the song says as well, shaking everything I have. As the song ends, he walks up behind me, without me hearing him. The girls and I are laughing when I hear his words in my ear.
“Are you having fun?” he whispers.
“I am.” I refuse to turn to face him, my fac
e is still red, and I actually can’t believe I just did that.
“Even though I’m a bit shocked, it’s a side I’ve never seen before of you and I’ve seen a lot of sides of you, Ans. The sexy side is incredible to watch. I completely enjoyed the show if that was for me.”
“And why would you say it was for you, Coop?” I whispered back, as my heart is beginning to speed up faster as he speaks.
“You saw me watching you, Ansley. You looked directly in my eyes before you started moving those hips, and well, everything for that matter.”
His breath is hot on the side of my neck and against my ear. I don’t know what is going on, but clearly it sparked something in him. Though he has yet to touch me, it’s hot. The girls were talking together, in front of me, but I know they can tell what’s happening.
“And if I did, would it be a bad thing?”
“This is not a conversation we should be having here. I’ve been drinking and want to push you up against that wall over there in front of everyone and then show you just what I’d like to do to you.” His breath was getting a bit heavier and hotter against me.
“Umm, Coop?”
“Yes, Ansley?”
“Will you . . . umm . . . walk away? Or I’m going to ask you to push me up against that wall like you said and show me.”
“You really want that? I’ve never touched you, the way I’m thinking, about right now.”
“Coop, you really . . . like really need to walk away. For the love of God, walk away.”
He chuckles a little and speaks the last of his words before turning back to his teammates. “I will, for now, because you asked me to. Just know it’s not truly what I want to do. What I really want to do is lick your body from here,” he says, as the tip of his tongue darts out, hitting my ear lobe and my breath hitches, “all the way down until I’m counting the toes on your feet.”
Oh, dear Lord, help me. I close my eyes and when I open them, the girls are standing directly in front of me, eyes wide and their mouths hanging wide open. I blink several times before my eyes refocus and I can think again.
“What the hell was that?” Maddie is speechless and that alone is a shock.
“Yeah, Ans?” Kenna stood there stunned.
“Umm . . . I don’t know?” I really didn’t, so I wasn’t lying . . . exactly.
“Well, whatever it was, it was damn hot.” Maddie’s mouth was still shaped in a perfect O.
“I need a drink, like now.” Turning around, I head in the opposite direction of Cooper, but right to the bar.
“I’d say you do, and I need to get laid after seeing that.” Kenna must have said that a bit loudly, as a couple guys’ heads whip around towards us.
“Haha, I second that,” Maddie says just as loud.
Just as we go to walk away, I see Coop and one of the Rockstar models talking. His hair is as if someone, namely her, just ran her fingers through it. I can’t believe him. Well, that ruins my night and now I am ready to leave.
“Girls, I’m going to head home.”
“What’s wrong?” They both ask at the same time, catching my eye, then looking in Cooper’s direction.
“Jesus, I’m going to kick his ass,” Maddie says.
“Not before I do,” Kenna comes back with.
“I just want to go home. So, I’m going to find Ryan and say goodnight.” I see him over in the corner, shooting the shit with a few of the other riders so I head over there.
“Hey, Ry, I’m heading out, but wanted to say Happy New Year.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just ready to leave.”
“Nope, I can tell something is wrong. It’s me, Ans, you can tell me,” he whispers, so no one else can hear us.
“It’s been a great night and not it’s now, so it’s time to go.”
He looks around to see Cooper still talking to the tall brunette and her ‘girls’ that are out there for all to see. “Jackass.”
“It’s fine really, he clearly isn’t going to change. Night.” I lean up and kiss him on the cheek and then he gives me a hug goodbye.
“I’ll take you.”
“You don’t have to do that, stay and have fun. The ball is going to drop soon, you need to find someone to kiss.”
“It’s fine, besides I have the bike tonight, and in that outfit of yours, you’ll look incredible on the back of it.”
“Oh, shut up, you know this isn’t me,” I say, as I swat his arm.
“Well, it might not be the old you, but it looks good on the new you,” he chuckles.
Rolling my eyes at him, I speak, “yeah, yeah. Let’s go then, but only if you’re sure.”
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”
We make our way around, saying goodbye to those we need to and then head out the door to his bike.
“Where the hell did you get this?”
“It was a gift from the team owners.”
“Jesus, you boys are spoiled.”
“We are.” He is laughing as he pulls out the extra helmet he has, handing it to me. He slips his own on, then straddles the bike. Sitting down, he flips up the screen on the front of his helmet and tells me to get on.
I do just as instructed, then I’m holding on for dear life. I know he won’t do anything stupid, but he is a risk taker, too. Arriving at my apartment safely, I hop off, remove the helmet, and swat him.
“You ass, swerving in and out of those cars gave me a heart attack.”
“Oh, you’re fine, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but Jesus, don’t do that again.”
“I’m not Jesus, but you can certainly call me that if you must.”
“Oh, shut up.” I start shaking my hair, as we walk up the sidewalk to my apartment building, while laughing.
When we make it to my door, I ask Ryan to come in. As we both get inside, I immediately unzip the side of my boots. To get my feet bare is a blessing after having to wear boots for sometimes fifteen hours a day.
Walking into the kitchen, I pour myself a glass of wine and hand Ryan a bottle of water. We head into the living room and turn on the TV. As I set my glass on the coffee table, Ryan is already settling in on the couch.
“I’m going to change to sweats, I’ll be right back.”
“I can only stay until the ball drops, so hurry up, girl.”
“Oh, relax, we have twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, but you must have forgotten, I’ve known you for years. You can say five minutes and then the next thing I know I’m sitting around for an hour, waiting.”
As I continue walking to my room, I raise my hand straight in the air and flip him the bird. I leave it there too, until I reach the doorway to my bedroom. I can hear Ryan laughing out loud as I shut my door. Walking out, I see him singing to one of the songs that is on the TV. Thomas Rhett is performing his new song, Crash and Burn, on one of the New Year’s Eve shows. I love it and apparently, so does Ryan. I step into the living room giggling at him; he smiles and continues belting out the tune, as he now flips me off. I start singing right along with him until the song finishes.
There are only ten minutes until the clock strikes midnight and we’ll be ready to start the New Year, once again. I am ready for this year to be different than last, for that matter, different than the last four, but clearly that isn’t going to be happening, at least not right now. I pick up my glass of wine, downing it. I need a stiffer drink than this, so I walk into the kitchen, pull out Kenna’s bottle of Fireball from the fridge and pour a shot.
“Wow, girl, where is this coming from?”
“Nowhere, I just need something a bit stronger, that’s all. Why?”
“Well, unless you’ve changed a lot over the last four years, you don’t usually drink to get drunk, and those aren’t little shots. That shit will kick your ass before you know it.”
“I haven’t changed, but I have a lot on my mind tonight and this is helping.”
“Drinking is not the answer, Ansley.”
“Screw you, Ryan. How do you know what the answer is? Cuz, I have no clue.”
“Here, give me one? If I’m here, you aren’t drinking alone.”
“No, you are driving and the way you ride that bike, you can’t drink even one.”
“Haha, I’ll stay here tonight and head out first thing in the morning. I don’t have practice till three, so I have plenty enough time to get my ass home.”
“Only if you are sure,” I say reaching for another shot glass out of the cupboard. I am happy to have him hang out with me for the night. I pour him his first and my second.
“I am, let’s do this. But if we do this, we are doing it right.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Doing it right . . . am I doing it wrong?” I ask, downing my second.
“Slow down, girl, or you’ll be on the floor after a couple more.”
Pouring myself another one, I hand Ryan his and I take mine. We walk back to the living room because the ball is about to come down the pole. We start shouting out the last ten seconds until the fireworks start and the New Year begins. Our glasses clink together and our heads tip backward, downing our shots.
I head back to pour another and Ryan is right on my heels. He watches me as I carefully fill each of our tiny glasses to the top. Setting the bottle back down, I take a deep breath and turn to face him.
“Kiss me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, kiss me!” This time I say it a little louder.
“I heard you the first time. There is no reason to shout at me, Peanut.”
“Then do it!”
“Why do you want me to kiss you?”
“Because I do.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s New Year’s Eve, there, is that a reason?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Fine, I’m going to bed.”
“Ansley, wait.” He grabs me by the elbow, not letting me walk away.
“Ryan, I just need to go to bed.”
“No, talk to me, what is going on?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I picked the wrong guy to fall in love with.” I pick up my fourth shot and down it, as a tear falls.