by R. H. Vesely
"Nah, I told her about us and really I just didn't feel right about it without seeing you first, you know," said Pat.
"Come on, we talked about this before you left, but I admit it's nice you felt that way. Actually, I let one go by the boards for the same reason. Funny huh, we agree it's no problem and then neither one of us do it. Kind of sweet," said Betsy with a smile.
"Oh yeah, who did you seduce, you vixen," laughed Pat.
"Oh, that John kid in the English department. But god, he is just so young. I felt like a bit of a lech," laughed Betsy.
"Anyway, welcome back my love and congratulations," said Betsy, as she gave him another big hug and a kiss.
"Now, come on back to Colleen, I want to know," said Betsy.
"Well, it is actually kind of weird in my mind. I spent the whole drive back thinking about it. We really had a fucking great time, of course minus the fucking," said Pat.
"So, what's the problem?" asked Betsy.
"I'll warn you, you may not like this," said Pat.
"Try me."
"After the first couple days we were together, I started thinking and …..."
"Come on, spit it out."
"Look remember that test of yours I did and the list I made?"
"Sure but what's the connection. I mean ….............. oh shit. I think I get it. She fills the bill, huh."
"God, I knew you were smart -- too damn smart Bets!"
"Ok, Ok, let me see if I can guess. You look at the insane wealth of this family and you look at this hot woman who seems to be totally in to you. Am I on the right track?"
"Sadly yes."
"You say to yourself, I could marry this woman and do all the shit I like to do and they have so much money, I can probably get away without having to do the groveling work I would need to do to make lots of money. So you think problem solved, so let's give it a go, full steam or should I say full charm ahead. Wow!"
"You know me too well Bets. But there is a bit more. You see, I really like this person. We spent the entire week together and not to be egotistical but I think she is or at least thinks she is or could be deeply in love with me. --- I am not in love with her, at least I don't think I am. I mean, it has gotten all muddled in my brain. That night we were dancing together was unbelievable. Other than with you, it was the kind of moment that I never thought I would feel again after Kelley."
"That's a good thing yes, I mean even a great thing," said Betsy.
"Agreed, but then the money thing gets into my brain and how would I or could I ever know whether I was with her because of that or because I loved her and if it was for the money, how could I do this to someone who I truly like, even if I did not love her."
"Love, honest opinion, sounds to me like you, as usual, are thinking too much, but I have to admit, it is a bit of a quandary. Quandary, wow, got that word from you, thanks," laughed Betsy.
"Bets, its actually worse than that and I am going to be brutally honest here with you and myself. I left something out of the story. After I left Kelley's, I got about a block and had to pull over because I was incapable of driving. I had to sit there for over a half hour before I had control of myself and it took all I had not to turn around and go back, all I had! I also.........."
"But you had it babe, you had it! Focus on that."
"I also could not stop thinking about it on the way back here. It was like I had to beat it out of my brain, constantly repeat stop, stop, just stop! It wasn't any rekindling of feelings but I couldn't let go of the memory. I couldn't seem to let go," said Pat sadly.
"God love, all kidding aside, I don't know what to say. I am at a loss. My heart truly aches for you," said Betsy softly.
"It gets worse. Colleen wants to come up here next week and there is no question that sex is on the agenda."
"My love, you have decisions to make. It's late, you're beat, why don't we go to bed and see if maybe this seems a bit more manageable in the morning," said Betsy.
"Yeah, good idea, but no cuffs, please," said Pat only half jokingly
. The next morning Pat woke up with both hands securely handcuffed to the metal headboard. Damn she wasn't kidding he thought. I'm going to end up like James Caan in Misery, he laughed to himself.
"Bets, Bets, come on Bets," he yelled laughing.
Betsy came in to the room naked sipping a cup of coffee with a big smile on her face.
"Good morning honey. Get some good rest? You can't say I didn't warn you," she said as she jumped on the bed straddling his naked body with an evil expression on her face.
"You have got to be kidding me. I would expect this from someone crazy like Kelley, but not from you."
"Oooooo, bad choice of words, Kelley," she said, as she gave Pat a slap across the face.
"Just trying to give you a bit of negative conditioning hon. Though it doesn't seem to be working," said Betsy as she grabbed his erect penis.
Jesus thought Pat. This is really fucked up, for some reason his morning woody had gotten even harder and he had to admit, in some weird way, he was turned on and he could also feel her wetness on his body. Just then Betsy slid back and slid herself on top of and into his erection.
"So have any great revelations in the night, seems like you might have been dreaming about something," said Betsy as she slid up and down on him.
Any thoughts were quickly disappearing from Pats brain as he got progressively more turned on. Betsy continued to glide him in and out. She could tell by his breathing that he was about to come and she stopped and looked down into his eyes.
"What was the name of that girl, was it Colleen, Colleen," she said as she returned to slowly sliding him in and out. "Yes, that's it isn't it Pat, Colleeeeeeen," laughed Betsy menacingly.
Pat could now tell that Betsy was getting more turned on, as her wetness flowed onto him. "Colleen, Colleen," she repeated as she increased the pace smiling into his face, "Colleen, Colleen" as Pat exploded and then she fell forward on to him as her orgasm spasmed through her body.
They lay there for a while and then Betsy got up, took the keys out of the nightstand and unlocked the cuffs. Pat lowered his arms and just stared at her.
"Relax babe, I was only screwing with you, I guess literally and figuratively," she laughed. "Thought a little humor might be a good way to start this day," she said laughing so uncontrollably now that tears were running down her face.
"You shit," said Pat staring at her, but he soon got caught up in Betsy's laughter and Betsy fell to the bed and the two them laughed till their sides ached.
"Stop Damn it," Pat managed to blubber out, "Stop".
"I can't," said Betsy, "Jesus I'm gonna pee myself, holy shit," and she did right on them and the bed. They both quickly got up but they were still convulsed in laughter.
"God I thought you were going to kill me," laughed Pat.
"I know, I know," and neither one could stop their laughing jag until it petered out into short guffaws.
"Bets, you are truly unbelievable, pure genius," said Pat.
"See, I'm even smarter than you think, I'm a genius," she laughed.
"You truly, truly are, but a little bladder control would have been nice," he laughed.
"We geniuses are not subject to normal societal restraints my friend," laughed Betsy and they both started another episode of uncontrolled laughter.
"We've got to stop, come on lets take a shower for god sake and get your pee off us," said Pat.
As they got in the shower, Pat burst out laughing again and said "God, I hope this doesn't end up like Psycho, it's too weird already."
As they sat at the table drinking coffee and eating english muffins, they both kept looking at each other and letting out small laughs each repeating "don't start".
"Oh, hey hon, I forgot, I went out and got you a little something to sweeten your coffee," said Betsy, as she pulled a bottle of Pimm's No. 1 out of a brown bag and plopped it on the kitchen table.
"You shit," said Pat, as he got up and chased
after Betsy who had jumped up and run into the living room laughing. Pat bear hugged her from behind and the two fell to the floor in the midst of another laughing jag. After about ten minutes, they both rolled over on their backs staring up at the ceiling, lightly chuckling.
"Betsy, you are a piece of work. I don't think I have laughed this hard since I was in Junior High School. I feel like my ribs are going to snap."
"I definitely got you good didn't I. I figured the only way to break the funk you were in was to change your focus love and what better way than laughter, right."
"Like I said, pure genius Bets, pure genius."
Chapter 15
Pat and Betsy had spent the entire morning trying to come up with a plan or some insight into Pat's dilemma. Oddly, it was Betsy who had done virtually all of the talking. She quickly set Colleen aside, since if Pat could not resolve his Kelley issue, Colleen became irrelevant. Betsy continued to implore Pat to remember how badly Kelley had treated him and that if he got back with her, it was virtually certain to happen again.
"Babe, I may not have met her but from everything you tell me, she does not have the mental chops to make it last. She is always going to be wondering if she should go for something less intense and secure and safe. You will end up back on an emotional roller coaster. May I remind you, it is a ride you barely survived the first time. I am running out of ways to say this, but for you, she is poison. She will come out of it fine, but you will be destroyed, I guarantee, trust me."
When he talked to Bets about this it all seemed so clear, so obvious. Logically, he could see that if he got back with Kelley, it would likely end badly. The odds of her having really changed were slim and it was in fact, a good bet that Kelley seeing him with Colleen may have had more to do with Kelley's phone call than some deep change on her part. It was also true that he had let suicidal thoughts into his brain after he was crushed by the coldness of their breakup. The problem was, he could not forget the years where it had seemed to work and these emotionally charged memories kept his brain in a muddle.
"Bets, let's leave this whole thing alone for a while. I just can't seem to think straight. I think what I need is a miniature you implanted in my brain. When I'm with you is the only time life seems at all clear and doable."
"Yeah, we need that shrinking ray from Willy Wonka and I could just sit on your ear and keep telling you to stop being such an idiot," she laughed. "Sorry babe, but it is hard not to feel you are being more than a bit stupid about this, sorry," said Betsy, and gave him a reassuring hug and kiss.
"No, you're right. I know it. Anyway, let's forget it and go out for something to eat and please, let's talk about something else, Ok."
The University Tavern was located on the first floor of the University Inn, a large white colonnaded, clapperboard building that had been there over 100 years, basically since the founding of the University. The tavern was used mostly by those staying at the Inn and University professors. It was quiet, comfortable and a good place to talk. The prices for food and drink and the lack of a jukebox tended to keep students out. Betsy had suggested they go there for old time sake since it was where they had first met.
"Don't worry Babe, I'll pay. Believe it or not the cheap bastards just gave me a raise. I think they see me taking classes and are afraid I am going to leave. The head of the department actually had me in for a meeting and wanted to know if I was happy in my job and if not, if there was anything he could do to make it better. I just told him a little more money would be nice," laughed Betsy.
"Great Bets, thanks, as usual I am pretty tapped out."
They settled in to a booth by a window and ordered a pitcher of dark beer.
"You know Bets, you are the only woman I have ever been with who likes dark beer. It's another one of those things I love about you," said Pat.
"Personally, I don't know how people drink that watery stuff. Its got no taste or body but most men I have been with drink it too, that or scotch for professors. Actually, I guess it's mostly the students I have dated that drink the crappy beer," she laughed.
"Enough of me, how goes it with you love. Haven't seen you in a couple weeks," said Pat.
"Well not much going on over the break, so I've just been reading and watching some movies."
"Wait, I thought you hooked up with the guy in the English Department."
"Yeah, but that was right after you left and we just had some drinks and danced a bit over at The Place. House seemed empty after you left, so I decided to go out and bumped into him there. It was sort of fun, but like I said, it made me feel a bit predatory and frankly, he couldn't dance worth a shit. It was like dancing with Robbie the Robot," she laughed.
"So what'll it be folks? We have a special on stuffed potato skins and the Rubens are looking pretty good. They just got in some great corned beef."
"Ruben sounds good to me and how about some more beer," said Bets.
"Yeah, Ruben for me too. I haven't had a good one of those in ages, thanks," said Pat.
"Great, I'll be right back with your beer."
"Look Bets, I wouldn't worry too much about the age thing. Honestly, you are a hot ticket and I'd be hard pressed to think of any guy who would not die to have a night with you," said Pat.
"Wow, thanks for the complement, but I think you are a bit biased."
"Bets, you know I am no good at idle complements," said Pat, as he took her hand in his and looked in her eyes.
"Ok, Ok enough, I said I'd pick up the tab," laughed Betsy.
Pat thought, god she does this every time, turns it in to a joke. I cannot believe she does not realize how beautiful she is. God, and on top of it, she is really smart, but that too she refuses to accept and just jokes about it.
"So what have you been reading, stuff for your classes?" asked Pat.
"No, actually some of your philosophy books and one of your Irving novels," she said.
"Which ones?"
"God, bad with names, I think Cider House Rules is the novel and the philosophy is some existential writers, Sartre, Camus, Heidegger. I really can't remember, but I liked it a lot. It was really fun to think ," answered Betsy.
"Yes, that's it exactly. Its fun to read them because its just fun to think," said Pat smiling at Betsy.
Betsy and Pat wiled away the afternoon and moved into the evening, starting off with philosophy and moving into reminiscing and laughing loudly about their time together.
"Hey Betsy, I just realized, this is the same booth we ended up sitting in when we first met," said Pat.
"Duh, you really just realized that. Why do you think I picked it. I can remember that like it was yesterday," said Betsy, as she gave him a smile.
"Yeah, that's weird, so can I. Let's toast, to you Betsy, I love you,"
said Pat. "No, to us and I love you too, salud," said Betsy, as they clinked glasses.
"God, remember the time we took that toboggan to the top of the ski hill in the middle of the night and almost killed ourselves," said Pat.
"Oh my god, and it was in the middle of that blizzard and we baled out just before the toboggan hit that giant oak tree and exploded into pieces," laughed Betsy.
"Yeah, and we both just laid there idiotically laughing about how we almost died. What a pair of idiots we were," laughed Pat.
"God, let's not get going again. I've got so much beer in me, I'm sure to pee myself again," laughed Betsy.
"Oh god, and that time we went sliding through those giant mud puddles outside the football stadium even though we were both dressed up," laughed Pat, as tears came to his eyes.
"Yes, it was the night of the big student faculty party and we lasted ten minutes before we turned to each other and said let's get the fuck out of here. Jesus, we were completely sober and we ended up looking like a pair of Indian mystics caked in mud. Oh god, and then we made love right there, I remember," Betsy laughed so hard that tears were in her eyes.
"Oh god, stop, my sides can't take this again. I think I broke a r
ib this morning you bitch," laughed Pat.
"Oh, Oh, and the time we went skinny dipping in the lake and then realized that the President was having a cocktail party for alumni at the gazebo right next to where we went in," guffawed Betsy.
"Hell, I thought that was why we did it," said Pat in a spasm of laughter, as he fell over sideways in the booth.
"Ah guys, could you lower it down a bit. I think they can hear you out in the lobby," said the waitress.
"Oh, sorry," said Betsy. "Maybe we should get the check, were a little bit out of control, sorry."
"Sure hon, just try to keep it together, ok."
"Yes, sure, sure, sorry," said Pat, as they both looked at each other stifling another outburst of laughter.
They paid the check with Betsy leaving an exorbitant tip and strolled out through the lobby, giggling like kids arm in arm. The next morning, Pat woke up late. Betsy had gotten up earlier and was already off to work. She had left a pot of coffee and a note on the table.
Coffee is hot and thanks for a great night babe, love you.
Pat sat there sipping his coffee and realizing he had to call Colleen and let her know coming up now was not such a good idea. He thought, I never should have let anything get started with her. It was wrong and stupid and he just thanked god they had not slept together. At least occasionally my brain works. But what was he going to say. He knew he had to break it off, but how do you do that well over a phone. You don't, but you try, and here was his effort.
"Hi Colleen."
"Hi Pat, god so good to hear your voice," said Colleen.
"Colleen, I have something I need to talk to you about," said Pat in a quiet tone.
"What's up, problems?"
"Ah yeah. Colleen I don't really know how to say this, but I think its not a good idea for you to come up here."
"What, why not, I was already making plans."
"I'm sorry, but I never should have started anything with you. You are fantastic but I have no business starting a relationship, trust me."
"Is it Kelley?"
"No, finally everything is done between Kelley and me, truly. I'm am going to be completely honest."