by Deidra Scott
By Tuesday afternoon, Rachel was so exhausted with her job that she could hardly stand to look at the blue material any longer. Finally, she set the dress aside in frustration and, taking a deep breath, decided to walk out to the barn to check on the animals.
With her parents away visiting one of her older brothers, Rachel knew that she could enjoy some much-needed time alone.
Walking into the barn, Rachel took in a deep breath of fresh hay and grain.
“Hey there, baby,” She whispered as she went over to a pen where one of the calves was standing, crying for another bottle of milk. Reaching out, she stroked his soft nose with her hand and laughed as the calf licked her with his wet tongue.
“Rachel?” The voice made Rachel turn around in surprise as she realized that she was not alone.
Adam stood behind her, a pitchfork in hand.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you again...seems to be a habit I’m picking up.”
Rachel tried to smile, but it felt so forced.
She used to enjoy being around Adam but now just seeing him brought a fresh wave of sadness over her.
“What are you doing here?” She managed to ask.
Adam gave a shrug, “Your daed said that I could come by and do some work on the barn. Lovina won’t be satisfied until the place is perfect.”
Stepping up beside Rachel, Adam reached out to pet the calf on the head.
“Danki – thanks, Rachel, for all that you’re doing for me and Lovina.” Adam took a deep breath and looked down at the floor, “I don’t know why the bishop gave you this job. My mamm would have been glad to have the service at our house, and to have planned the wedding.”
“She must be happy for you,” Rachel suggested.
Adam nodded his head, “Jah, she hardly knows what to do with herself, she’s so excited.”
Adam was quiet for so long, Rachel started to wonder if he was going to say anything else.
“I didn’t mean to just spring this on you,” Adam finally announced, “That day at the store, I had planned to tell you...but things didn’t work out.”
Rachel shrugged, unsure of what to say in reply, “Ach, Adam, no need to apologize. It’s your life...makes no difference to me what you do.”
Looking up into Adam’s face, Rachel saw something that looked like deep pain. For an instance, she wondered if she had said the wrong thing.
“Well,” she finally announced, “I need to get back inside. Just came out for a bit of fresh air.”
Adam gave a nod, “I’d better get back to work, too.”
Rachel willed herself not to cry until she was back inside the house.
That evening, Rachel’s parents came home just as she finished cooking a meal of sweet potato casserole, sweet rolls, green beans, and pork roast.
“Hello, Rachel!” She heard her father call out as Rachel hurried to set the table for supper.
“Add another plate to the table,” Mamm announced as she stepped into the dining room, “Your daed asked Adam to stay to eat.”
The words made Rachel’s heart drop in her chest. Surely, this couldn’t be true! In the past, Rachel had enjoyed every minute that she got to spend around Adam but, now that he was about to be married, everything had changed.
“Poor boy’s been working out in our barn for so long, seems right to feed him!” Rachel’s father laughed as he led Adam into the dining room.
Rachel reached for another plate and set it on the table. Glancing up at Adam, she could tell that he seemed as uncomfortable as she felt.
“I’m fine just going home...” Adam started, shifting from one foot to another.
“You’ll do no such thing!” Her father insisted, “You maybe getting married here, but I think I’m getting the best end of the deal considering I’ll have a much cleaner barn.”
Rachel noticed her mother roll her eyes as she motioned Adam into an empty seat at the table.
When Rachel realized that her empty seat was right next to Adam, she cringed inwardly and sat down with uncertainty.
In the past, their relationship had always come so naturally, but now everything felt different. There was now no hope for the future – only the realization that Adam would soon be married to someone else. Rachel found herself dealing with a broad range of emotions, and couldn’t decide if she was madder at him for choosing Lovina or simply hurt.
There was something about Adam’s presence that changed the overall aura of the house. A place that was usually filled with nothing but her parents bickering suddenly became more peaceful and serene as the young man made some small talk with her father.
Looking up into Adam’s face, Rachel couldn’t help but admire him.
Suddenly, Adam turned to look back at her. As soon as their eyes met, Rachel felt the heat start to rise to her cheeks and she quickly turned to look down at her plate. When he looked at her like that, it was so easy to imagine that he felt something special for her.
This is how things might be if we were married, Rachel found herself musing silently. As soon as the thought entered her mind, Rachel had to push it away. Adam was marrying someone else – the sooner she realized that, the better!
Chapter Six
Rachel had never considered herself to be a very quick seamstress but she was so anxious to have the wedding dress behind her that she found her fingers practically flying as she worked.
Wednesday afternoon, Rachel was far enough along to call Lovina over to have the blue wedding dress fitted. Upstairs in Rachel’s bedroom, Lovina stood in the half-finished wedding dress, complaining about every single aspect of the process.
“Owch!” She squealed with a disgusted grimace on her face, “Rachel, you’re poking me with that needle! Oh dear, I am getting tired of standing here...how much longer can this take?”
Rachel found herself constantly biting her tongue, fighting to hold back the sharp retorts that threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted so desperately to slap the silly girl in the face and tell Lovina that quit the job entirely.
“Remember, Rachel,” she told herself silently, “It was the bishop who gave you this job and it’s your duty to see it through.”
“I know I’m being a pain, Rachel,” Lovina suddenly stated, “Believe me, Adam’s telling me daily how impossible I am...but I don’t have to listen to his obnoxious voice to know that it’s true.” Sitting down hard on Rachel’s bed, Lovina buried her face in her hands.
“Lovina,” Rachel sat down beside her as she realized that the other woman appeared to be on the verge of tears, “What’s the matter?”
“Ach, Rachel!” Lovina balled up her fist and punched the mattress beside her, “This whole wedding business has got me in such a mood that I can hardly stand myself.”
Rachel closed her eyes so that they wouldn’t roll in open disgust. The thought that Lovina would act like the wedding was a hassle when she was hardly lifting a finger was almost more than Rachel could stand to hear.
“I just want to forget it all!” Lovina exclaimed.
“Now, Lovina,” Rachel reached out and put a hand on the other girl’s arm, “In a little over two weeks, this will all be over. Once you and Adam are married, you’ll be glad you went through it.”
Lovina bit down on her lip and muttered, “It’s not the wedding I’m upset about.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow, “What?”
“Adam is a nice man,” Lovina said softly, “But, Rachel, I certainly don’t love him. To be honest, he’s a far cry from the man that I had hoped to marry.”
Lovina’s words cut deeply in Rachel’s heart. She wondered what she could say in reply to this stunning announcement. Rachel didn’t have to wonder long, because Lovina went on without waiting for a reply.
“Rachel, do you remember when I was dating that boy from the other county? Pete and I went together for four years...I waited and waited on him to finally give in and ask me to marry him, but he never did. Finally, I just broke things off with him. I was tired of waiting,
and it was starting to feel like I would wait for ever! My parents are so anxious for me to get married...and I am too. My daed talked to Adam’s parents and they worked things out between us. Neither of us want to be alone forever, Rachel, and that’s what things will be like if we don’t go forward with this marriage...but I can hardly stand the idea of being married to boring old Adam Beuler.” Lovina wiped the tears out of her eyes and looked up to meet Rachel’s stare, “Ach, Rachel, do ya think I’m terrible for what I’m doing? Am I doing the wrong thing?”
Rachel didn’t know what to say. Was Lovina doing wrong? Surely so. The idea of Adam getting trapped in a loveless marriage was almost more than Rachel could stand. But it would be so selfish of her to butt in and destroy their relationship. If Adam wanted to be with Rachel, he would have asked her...it was obvious that he’s rather be with Lovina.
Taking a deep breath, Rachel shook her head slowly, “I’m just not sure, Lovina...I’m just not sure at all.”
Lovina’s confession put a heavy burden on Rachel’s heart. That night, she lay in bed, staring up at the shadows on the white ceiling in her room. It seemed like her thoughts were running helter-skelter as she tried to decide what she should do.
Although Rachel had thought that Lovina was an unlikely match for Adam all along, realizing that the girl didn’t even like him made the entire situation so much worse. Rachel wondered if she should have told Lovina to tell Adam, then she wondered if she should tell him herself.
“Ach, Rachel,” she muttered silently, “this isn’t your to be getting involved!”
All Rachel could do was pray and, at this moment in time, it certainly felt like God was turning a deaf ear to all of her pleas. No matter what she said or did, it seemed that nothing good could come from this situation.
Chapter Seven
Each day that passed, the time of the wedding grew closer and closer. Rachel found herself so overwhelmed by the sadness of the entire event that she could hardly stand to think about it. But, as the wedding planner, it was hard to get her mind on anything else. With every day that passed, Rachel found her thoughts consumed by the upcoming event and all the work that she had to do.
Saturday afternoon Rachel sat alone at the picnic table in the yard, working to carefully paint commemorative wedding lanterns in Lovina’s favorite shade of green. These lanterns would be used in the Amish wedding celebration and were then supposed to be treasured by the married couple forever.
At this point, Rachel wondered if Lovina would be treasuring anything about her wedding at all.
“Hello, Rachel.”
Rachel looked up in surprise, a fresh wave of pain washing over her as she realized that Adam had stopped by for a visit.
“For once, ya didn’t scare me.” Rachel tried to make the lighthearted comment, but it seemed forced to her own ears.
Adam ignored her totally and instead stared out across the yard. He looked so distant, so confused, and so hurt that Rachel was instantly alert.
“Adam, are you all right?”
“Rachel,” Adam took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly, “A lot has happened...and we need to talk.”
Looking up at him in surprise, Rachel couldn’t understand the look of mixed pain and uncertainty in his eyes, “Ach, Adam, what has happened?!”
Adam sat down beside her and took a deep breath, “I appreciate all the work that you’ve put into the wedding, Rachel...but it’s off.”
The words hit Rachel hard.
“Her old boyfriend heard that she was getting married,” Adam explained, “Guess that finally gave him the boost he needed. He came to her and said that, if she broke off our wedding, he’d marry her.”
Turning to look at Adam in surprise, Rachel couldn’t overlook the hurt that she saw shrouded over his entire body.
“You’re brokenhearted, aren’t you?” Rachel whispered.
Adam took a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know what I feel. I feel so...rejected. I’m not sorry to see Lovina go, really. That’s a terrible thing to say about the woman you were going to marry, but I never really loved her. I figure I could learn to love her with time, but I knew it wasn’t going to come easy.” Adam looked down at his hands and rubbed them together, “I just hate knowing that I’m likely to be alone forever.”
They were both quiet for a minute.
“I’m just sorry that you had to put so much work into an event that isn’t going to take place.”
Rachel reached out and put her hand on his arm, “Don’t worry about me...I’m just sorry this has happened.”
Looking up, Adam took a deep breath, “Are you really, Rachel? Did you really want me to get married?”
His words took Rachel back in surprise. What was he asking her? Could she be honest about her true feelings?
“Actually,” Rachel swallowed hard and forced herself to say the words, “I’m not sorry at all, Adam. I’m glad you’re not getting married. Ever since I met you, I’ve loved you, Adam. You’ve been a good friend to me and goodness knows I’ve come to know you better than any of the men I ever dated. I didn’t want you to marry Lovina, because I want you to marry me!”
Adam raised his eyebrows in surprise and his mouth dropped open. Rachel wondered if she had been too blunt. Instantly, she wished that she had simply kept her thoughts to herself. Gritting her teeth and closing her eyes, she waited for the worst.
“Rachel...” He said her name so softly. Opening her eyes, Rachel looked up into his face and was surprised to see him smiling gently.
“Dear Rachel, all this time...ever since I met you, I’ve been longing to ask if I could court you. I came so close so many times, but everyone insisted that you wanted to simply live at home with your parents forever. Since you had never had a serious boyfriend, I realized the rumors might be true. I wanted to talk to you about it, but it all seemed so hopeless. When Lovina entered my life, I realized she was probably my only hope to have a family of my own...and my one chance to get my mind off of you.”
Rachel felt her eyes fill with tears of joy as the truth behind his words sank into her heart. Surely, this day was too good to be true.
“Oh, Adam,” she whispered as she let him pull her close to him and let the reality of their love enter her heart.
Prologue
Adam and Rachel rode quietly side-by-side on the buggy. It was time to go tell Bishop Reuben all that had happened. He needed to know that the wedding was off, and Adam was certain they needed his guidance about where their new relationship should go next.
In a community where broken engagements were unheard of, Rachel found herself frightened at what he might say.
Despite the fear of what might be ahead of them, Rachel couldn’t let the joy in her heart be overwhelmed by her uncertainties. Reaching out, she took Adam’s hand in her own, enjoying the feel of his rough skin against her soft fingers.
“Well, this is quite a surprise!” Bishop Reuben announced as he welcomed Adam and Rachel into his home, “I see the wedding planner and I see the groom...aren’t we missing someone?”
Adam took off his hat and turned it around and around in his hands.
“I don’t know how to tell ya this, Bishop,” Adam started slowly, “But Lovina is gone. Her old boyfriend showed up this morning and she left with him.”
Reuben raised his eyebrows, but it seemed that he was only feigning surprise.
“Well, then, what are to do?” Bishop Reuben asked slowly, “I supposed the wedding’s off.”
Adam nodded his head furiously, “Actually, the wedding was a bad idea in the first place. Bishop Reuben, I don’t know how to tell you this but...well...during the time that Rachel and I spent working on our wedding...we...”
Rachel tried to help Adam out by putting in, “Bishop Reuben, we’ve known for a while...we just didn’t know...”
Bishop Reuben put up his hands and suddenly burst into laughter, “Ach, children, did you seriously think I didn’t know? My, my, you must
think your old bishop is blind! From the time that you first move here, Adam, I knew that you and Rachel were meant to be together. For goodness sakes, the only reason I had her plan your wedding was so that you could finally realize that you two are meant to be together!”
As the bishop’s words sunk in, Rachel stood in stunned silence. With her mouth hanging open, she turned to look at Adam in surprise. Adam looked equally dumb-founded.
The bishop shrugged his shoulders, “You two aren’t getting any younger. Now that the wedding’s off, seems it’s about time to start planning a new one...a wedding for two people that actually love each other and are meant to be.”
“Thank you, sir,” Adam exclaimed, reaching out to take the bishop’s hand in his own in a hearty shake, “Thank you so much!”
As they left the bishop’s home, Adam threw his arm around Rachel’s shoulders. Together they walked to his buggy, anxious to spend as much time as possible together.
Smiling to herself, Rachel realized that the job of planning someone else’s wedding had been the job that would turn her into a bride herself.
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