by Dawson, H A
Jade glanced at her phone, accessed a photo, and gazed at her daughter. At least she was away from the creep and in safe hands. It was a small blessing and one of the few positives of her time away. She missed her terribly and craved a reassuring hug.
A thought dawned. Could her stalker know Kelsey was in Spain? He seemed to know everything else. Jade’s mouth dried and her body tensed. She should contact her and warn her to keep alert. He may have her number too, and maybe he had an accomplice out there, following her around. Her heart pounded, loud and fast, irrepressible. She stared at William searching for reassurance, and had to use all her power to prevent herself from charging onto the court.
There were only a few more minutes left before the match ended, as their court time was limited. It seemed to take forever, and with her fingernails in the edge of her mouth, her gaze flitted between the clock and William. He was preparing to serve, and even though their eyes met, there was no recognition in his face and he remained oblivious to her pained expression. She urged him to win the point; she needed to speak to him.
The match was over and William and his opponent shook hands. Jade grabbed her bag and dashed onto the court, but when she heard their light-hearted banter, she suddenly felt a little rash in her decision to blurt out her fears, and forced a smile and joined in the conversion. Neither of the men noticed her anguish, and she meekly followed them off the courts.
‘It was a good win,’ she said, once William’s opponent had departed.
He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and gave her a swift and enthusiastic précis. Biting her tongue, waiting for him to finish, she tried to look as attentive as possible. When the moment was deemed appropriate, she told him she had received another text.
‘What did it say?’ he said in a matter-of-fact voice.
‘He had seen me in the supermarket and told me Tuna was his favourite too. It’s freaking me out.’
His eyes narrowed.
‘What if he’s onto Kelsey?’ she continued.
‘Why would he be?’
‘I don’t know, but it’s possible. He could be sending her messages too.’
‘I’m sure she would have told us.’
‘Would she? She’s very independent, and she would realise there’s nothing we could do, bar insist she returned home. She wouldn’t want that.’
William placed his hand upon her upper arm. ‘I’m sure you’re worrying unnecessarily.’
‘I don’t think I am. We don’t have a clue who this creep is or what he is capable of.’
The ambled forward and stopped at the doorway of the changing room.
‘It could be anyone,’ Jade continued, ‘even Amber from behind the bar. I’ve every right to be worried.’
‘Let me have a shower and then we’ll talk.’
‘Can’t you have one at home?’
William frowned.
‘Please.’
‘Okay, give me a moment.’
He placed his bag onto the floor, opened the zip, and pulled free his long pants and sweatshirt.
‘Maybe I should contact him,’ William said, ‘pretend to be you and arrange to meet.’
‘No!’
‘He can only say no.’
‘He could be dangerous.’
‘I doubt it. He’s probably a bit simple . . . incapable of anything like that.’
‘Why would he be like that?’
William stepped from his trainers and slipped his legs into his pants. ‘Don’t you think you have to be a bit that way to stalk someone?’
Jade frowned, struggling to understand his viewpoint. She saw no logic in his comment and it irritated.
‘Come on. It might be worth a try.’
‘I don’t think it’s a risk worth taking.’
He gave her a sideways glance, fastened his trainers, and donned his sweatshirt.
‘Anyway,’ Jade continued, ‘I think we’re forgetting what’s priority here. Kelsey. She’s the one that matters, not me.’
‘Kelsey is fine.’
‘That may be the case, but I still have to contact her and make sure.’
‘And worry her. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’
They left the building and headed across the car park to her car. Jade rested her bag on the bonnet and fingered in the zipped compartment for her keys. They weren’t there and a heart skipped a beat, fearing the creep had taken them. She fumbled through the contents. Still nothing. With her panic rising, she extracted the wodge of mail. The keys were at the bottom.
She was about to replace the pile of junk into her bag when a flimsy sheet of paper in the mix caught her eye. She extracted it. Her knees buckled and her blood drained. She gawked, wide-eyed at William. He gave her an enquiring look.
She was helpless to respond. Her eyes were locked onto drawing of the dead body and the word ‘denial’. Her stalker knew about her past; he knew more than she.
How could she form a defence when she had no memories? How could she even respond?
Chapter 2
The journey home was fraught with tension, whilst William made sympathetic comments, Jade did not sense either his fear or a genuine understanding for her situation; rather, he drove with an irritating calmness and spoke in a monotone voice, telling her he needed time to think. Perceiving his silence as a form of disloyalty, yet eager to stop her anger from exploding, she told herself it was unreasonable to expect anyone to know exactly how it felt being unable to neither announce her innocence nor admit to her crime.
After spending several minutes grinding her teeth, clenching her hands into fists, and staring at the queue of traffic, her fears and anger had subsided sufficiently to apply a certain amount of logic to her situation. Her family had died, that much was true, and according to the facts, she had not been guilty of any crimes. However, her fragile mind would not allow her to ponder the situation any further, as is usual, she felt a chill traverse her numbed body the instant she considered her blank past, described as dissociative amnesia.
That hadn’t always been the case. Years before, once she had come to terms with her memory loss and managed to pull herself away from months of self-destruction, she didn’t actually fear what was hidden in the void. She had believed that if the truth needed to come out it would do so of its own accord, and not with the aid of hypnosis as had been suggested. However, it now felt that her stalker was, for some sickening reason, forcing the issue.
Jade settled back into her seat, tried to de-tense her anxious body, and waited for William to park the car in their drive. Once complete, he switched off the engine and looked to her with a concerned expression.
‘The drawing might not mean anything,’ he said.
‘You don’t actually believe that, do you?’
Silence.
Jade released the catch on her seatbelt and exited the car, heading to the rear for the shopping.
‘It’s no coincidence,’ she continued, ‘and I can see from your expression that you agree. Whoever is doing this has to have been connected to my family.’
William’s eyes wandered.
‘This creep knows exactly what he’s doing. I’ve no idea what he knows, or how he knows it, but he does, and we’d be fools to disregard it.’
‘You can’t let him have a hold over you. If he knows what happened then there is only one solution. You have to-’
Jade spun to face him. ‘Don’t dare say it. I won’t be hypnotised.’
‘Why ever not? You are innocent. You must know that.’
‘And what if I’m not? What if what he says is true and that I am in denial?’
William averted his gaze.
‘Have you any idea how that would feel? How could I live with myself if . . . if . . .’
‘That’s not going to happen.’
‘You can’t possibly know that. Have you forgotten how you picked me up from the gutter? Have you forgotten the mess I was in? I wouldn’t have been like that if I was innocent. And
I would still have my memories.’
‘Jade . . . you know that’s not true. People suffer dissociative amnesia for all sorts of reasons, not just guilt.’
‘So they say.’ She hurried to the door, dropped the bags at her feet, and fumbled for the house key. ‘I won’t be bullied William.’
Silence.
‘Promise me you won’t mention it again.’
‘Okay, I’m sorry. No more talk of hypnosis.’
She tried to offer him an appreciative glance, yet her anger contorted her face. He should know better than to ask, as he was well aware of how the past haunted. Even an accusation as horrendous as denial, could not force her hand; in fact, it had had the opposite effect and caused her to retreat even further. If she had played a part in the death of any of her family members, she did not want to know about it.
‘I won’t do it,’ Jade confirmed, opening the door.
William did not respond and disappeared upstairs. She watched his figure fade, unsure if he had really accepted her determination, then, with a quickening heartbeat, she lifted the post from the floor. There was nothing out of the ordinary, no messages and no drawings, and she breathed a welcome sigh of relief.
Ignoring what had happened seemed to be the best solution, and Jade willed silence into her mind, fighting the relentless screams that demanded to be heard. Seeking solace, she looked at the row of photographs on the bedroom wall, and smiled at the beauty of family life. In the first image, Kelsey was a baby in her arms; in the second, she was a little older and sitting on William’s lap. She scanned further along the row, and to an image of Kelsey receiving a tennis trophy, and pride lingered on Jade’s face.
She was lucky to have a happy, successful daughter and a supportive partner, but she hadn’t always been so fortunate. For almost three years after the death of her parents and siblings, her life had become so misaligned that she believed she would never experience true contentment again, and instead sought a fleeting joy. Half of the time she didn’t know who she was and what she had been doing, and the other half she didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to be reminded of the shame, anger, and depression that had been commonplace; she wanted to forget, and pushed aside thoughts of her time on the streets.
Jade’s hardship culminated with the stillborn birth of her son. Unable to process the news, she had fled without warning, not even able to announce her departure to her partner, Joe Dobbs. Her needs were entirely selfish, yet with hindsight, it had been a good move. She had met William and it had proved to be the turning point for her.
Footsteps sounded on the staircase. Jade lifted her gaze from the family photograph and looked at William.
‘I’ve been thinking about what you said,’ he announced, ‘I agree we’d be fools to ignore what’s happening. We have to track this person down.’
Jade’s pulse quickened. ‘He . . . he might get bored.’
‘He’s not going to. He knows something and he’s going to carry on until he gets what he wants.’
‘I’m not involving the police,’ Jade said.
‘Then we have to do this ourselves.’
‘I don’t want you meeting him.’
‘So what do you suggest?’
Jade scowled and raised her knees to her chest.
‘Have you considered it’s not a man but Kath?’
‘No,’ she drawled. ‘It won’t be her.’
‘She’s the obvious choice.’
‘I . . . I don’t think so.’
William sat on the edge of the bed and his eyes wandered, pensive.
‘I saw her today,’ Jade said, ‘we had a drink at the club. She was trying hard to appease me.’
‘Did you mention the stalker?’
‘No, why would I?’
‘You’re going to have to confront her,’ William said.
‘Confront her? She’s not responsible.’
‘How do you know? That drawing appeared from somewhere, and you said yourself you saw her. The evidence-’
‘No. I’d been to the supermarket. It could have been anyone.’
He held his gaze, looking at her as though she was naïve.
‘It won’t be her,’ she continued. ‘Why would she do something like that? If she had issues with me, she’d just come out and say it. She always used to speak her mind and could never hide her grievances. And believe me, there were many of them.’
‘Like what?’
‘Oh I don’t know.’
William stared, waiting.
‘She used to complain that Dad didn’t care about her. Our little brothers got a lot of attention being younger, and I was praised for helping Mum. I could see where Kath was coming from, but she didn’t help herself very much. She was loudmouthed, forever causing trouble, and wasn’t nice to be around. Just about every week she’d get detention at school.’
‘It sounds like she may still have an axe to grind.’
She leapt from the bed and headed down the stairs with William in her shadow. Kath wouldn’t be responsible for the stalking, would she? Her own sister?
‘Don’t run away from this.’ William continued.
‘I’m not.’
‘Then talk to me.’
‘There’s nothing to say. Kath is not the stalker.’
She stared at the television guide, tracing the person on the cover and the enticing text searching for an explanation. Her mind was fog. All she could think of was her deep-rooted feeling of avoidance.
‘How about I do it?’ he said.
‘No, if anyone speaks to her it has to be me.’
‘I can understand why you don’t like seeing her, given what she did.’
‘That’s not it at all. I just feel uncomfortable around her. It’s not something I can explain.’
‘Well, I still think one of us should speak to her. She may not be responsible, but she may know who is.’
‘No . . . please William, just leave it.’
William reached for his can of beer, slumped onto the sofa and returned his attention to the football match on television. Grateful for his indifference, and hoping he would let the matter rest, she crept away, headed to the dining room and dialled Kelsey’s number.
Her daughter’s bubbling enthusiasm was infectious, and a grin expanded upon Jade’s face. Nevertheless, despite Kelsey’s happy manner, Jade still felt she needed to probe her daughter regarding any potential stalking activities.
‘Do you ever get any of the public watching your training sessions?’ she asked.
‘No, why would they?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe some of the locals are so impressed with your talent, they can’t help themselves.’
‘No Mum,’ she said with a pitying undertone, ‘no one’s interested in us.’
‘I can’t believe that.’
‘Not everyone’s like you. They have their own lives to lead.’
‘I see.’
‘There is one boy that gets on my nerves, though. I think he fancies me.’
Jade stiffened. ‘What’s he doing to you?’
‘He’s always hanging. I told him I’m not interested.’
‘And that’s it.’
‘Isn’t that enough? If he was a hottie it wouldn’t be so bad, but he’s a salad dodger.’
‘Kelsey,’ Jade said, steadying her voice, ‘you should report him. I don’t like the idea of someone bothering you.’
‘I knew I shouldn’t have told you. He’s harmless, really.’
‘It doesn’t sound like it to me. What’s his name?’
Kelsey puffed out and said something to someone in her room. Their conversation came across as a mumble, and it increased Jade’s anxiety, fearing that her daughter was being warned not to divulge any more information.
‘Got to go,’ her daughter said.
‘Kelsey, hang on a minute. There’s something I need to say.’
‘It’ll have to be quick.’
‘Please take this situation with this boy seriously. Promi
se me you’ll make sure he leaves you alone, or else speak to someone. If not me, then your father.’
Silence.
‘Are you listening?’
‘Yes Mum.’
‘And you promise me you’ll do something about it.’
‘Whatever. Can I go now?’
‘Okay. Love you.’
The call ended and Jade stared into the receiver.
Jade mooched around the house for the best part of an hour, unable to get the conversation with her daughter out of her head. It was frustrating being unable to assess the situation properly and she had no idea whether her stalker had exacerbated the situation in her mind, and whether Kelsey’s situation was more serious than she had portrayed.
One option was to contact the pastoral officer at the academy, but Jade knew her daughter would not thank her for the intervention. It was bad enough being apart, without having to deal with an angry sullen child at the other end of the phone.
Jade decided to wait and see. If nothing happened she would have to trust Kelsey was handling the situation, who seemed mature and wise for her age.
Jade's attempts to keep calm, failed
The phone rang, Jade jolted and her adrenalin surged. She feared it was her stalker confirming his connection with the boy, and she froze to the spot and waited for William to answer it. He did, and when she realised it was a friend of his, her relief moistened her eyes. This time they were okay.
For some distraction, she grabbed a magazine from the coffee table and flicked through the pages, within a few moments, she started to read a true story of a woman who had searched for her mother her efforts had far-reaching consequences for the entire family. The actions of her grandmother had spanned generations, leaving a trail of destruction and devastation. It was a gripping tale, but what intrigued the most, was that the woman had unravelled the mystery with the use of a private investigator, Luke Adams.
Luke was an old school friend. It offered Jade a potential solution to her problems, and believed from what she remembered of him during their teens, that he would not be as heavy-handed as the police. She scurried out of the room, and smiled when she found his business number in the phone directory.