by Dawson, H A
Jade smiled as she passed by. The man caught her eye and winked.
She crossed the street, dodging the oncoming traffic, and headed along a narrow back street. There was an industrial building to her left dated eighteen-ninety-four, which had been recently renovated giving it a truly pristine look. Amongst the features were stone columns, rounded windows, and numerous carvings. It was a wondrous piece of architecture.
She continued on, striding towards the railway station. Just outside the entrance, a busker sat on the ground. His instrument, a flute, was resting on the floor under his arm, and just in front was an upturned hat holding a few coins. Having no coins loose in her pocket and not wanting to pull free her purse from her bag, Jade pretended to be in deep thought and kept her eyes trained ahead and her steps quick.
‘Jade?’
She spun around. It was Hazza. ‘Sorry, I didn’t see it was you, I was somewhere else.’
He stared, analysing.
‘I’m following your advice. I’m going to see Joe. I’m a bit nervous. It’s the first time in seventeen years.’
‘Then you might be in for surprise.’
‘What do you mean?’
He lowered his head.
Her eyes narrowed, puzzling, wondering.
‘As you said,’ Hazza continued. ‘It’s been a long time. He might not recognise you.’
‘I like to think I’m same person.’
‘I’d say you’ve changed a lot. I hope Joe’s ready for that.’
Jade averted her gaze.
‘You weren’t going to give me the time of day a few moments ago. It looks to me like you think you’re a cut above the rest of us. I would never have expected that from you.’
‘I don’t think that. I didn’t see you.’
‘You were trying to ignore me.’
‘I didn’t know it was you.’
‘Same difference. You shouldn’t forget your roots.’
Jade cringed. She would never forget who she had been or what she had gone through. How could she? It had hung over her every single day of her life. ‘I’m sorry.’
He stood up and lifted his flute from the ground. ‘Good luck with Joe.’
His words hung in the air and her confidence slipped. As she ambled away, she checked upon her smart attire. She was wearing a flouncy dress, a designer jacket and high heels. Joe would remember her in torn jeans and a shapeless blouse. He might not like her display of wealth.
Unable to do anything about it, she continued towards their meeting point, but as more doubts emerged, her steps faltered. Why was she doing this? She had had countless opportunities in the past to arrange to see Joe, yet she had never felt it necessary. It was a time best forgotten. She didn’t want to remember her time on the streets, she didn’t want to remember her petty theft and her bad drinking habits, and she certainly didn’t want to be reminded of the last moment she had shared with Joe.
Her baby had died, and her agony was etched into her soul. Joe would be a reminder of all she had lost. It would be like reliving those moments all over again.
Jade stopped dead in her tracks. What if he spoke of it, or worse still, what if he knew the reason she had lost her memories? He could be the key to her past; he could present her with the truth.
She wasn’t ready for that.
‘Jade?’
Her pulse galloped. Joe was standing before her. His shaggy hair had been brushed to one side, he had well-defined groves defining his smile, and his blue eyes twinkled.
‘You look absolutely stunning,’ he said, ‘if I hadn’t seen your face I would never have believed it was you.’
‘You look pretty good yourself.’
‘I don’t think so. I’ve aged badly, but you . . .’ he held out his hands ‘. . . what a sight!’
Jade looked down to the pavement.
‘Man,’ he said, ‘I’ve been so looking forward to this. Why didn’t we meet up years ago?’
‘Busy I guess.’
Joe’s eyes were wide. ‘Can I buy you a drink?’
She nodded and followed his lead.
‘There’s so much I want to know. I hope you’ve no plans this evening.’
‘I can’t be too late. I’m expected home.’
‘Pity. I could see us sitting under the stars like we used to, waiting for sunrise to arrive.’
‘Don’t you work?’
‘Teacher. But let’s not go there. What about you?’
She shook her head.
‘Rich husband then?’
She paused, wondering if there was a mocking undertone. ‘Not exactly. I have a partner and a daughter, but we’re not rich.’
He smiled. ‘Didn’t we have some wild times?’
‘Like when I put syrup in Dawn’s shoes.’
‘Or what about the time you sneezed next to Gary then flung water droplets onto him. His face was a picture.’
Jade laughed. ‘I’d forgotten about that. What about the time you added cayenne pepper to Jack’s drink?’
‘Or the time you threw up on Hazza.’
Jade’s jaw dropped and her expression grew serious. ‘I did that?’
Joe grinned.
‘I’ve just seen him. He was busking by the station.’
‘How’s he doing?’
‘Hard to tell. He didn’t say a lot.’
‘I got the impression he’d spoken to you recently.’
‘Nope. Shall we?’ He pointed to a pub across the road.
Jade agreed, they hurried inside, bought drinks, and sat at a table away from a group of middle-aged people donned in work attire.
‘Do you enjoy teaching?’ Jade asked.
‘Most of the time.’
What subject do you teach?’
‘Woodwork!’
‘Really? I knew you were handy, but that surprises me.’
‘I had to do something. After you left . . .’ Anxiety spread across his face. He sought a replenishing breath. ‘I was at a loose end and an opportunity arose.’
The awkwardness hung in the air. Jade fiddled with a beer mat, rotating it between her fingers, and avoided eye contact. When she looked up, Joe was touching his face and brushing aside his hair, looking equally uncomfortable. Feeling a need to break the uneasy atmosphere, she blurted out an apology relating to her abrupt departure years previous. Joe said something at the very same time, and sorrow filled his eyes.
‘You first,’ he said quietly.
‘I’m sorry I ran off that day. I should have told you I was leaving, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I couldn’t cope. I felt smothered.’ Jade breathed deeply and steadied her quivers. ‘It turned out to be a good thing. I met William. He . . . he saved me.’
Joe hugged his glass and he stared into the frothy liquid.
‘I shouldn’t have left you alone,’ she continued. ‘I had planned to contact you sooner than now, but time got away from me. The longer I left it, the harder it became to make that first move.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘I ran. I should never have done that. In the very least, I should have told you I was going.’
‘I don’t blame you. I never have.’
Jade studied his expression as she sipped her drink. She could not detect any hatred, frustration or bitterness, and felt only his sorrow. She reached to his hand, stroking his taut skin.
Responding, Joe released his glass, placing it on the table, and squeezed her hand. The coolness of his skin travelled to her palm.
‘I tried to find you,’ he said quietly, ‘for weeks I travelled the streets speaking to anyone who might have known where you’d gone. You left without trace.’
‘I left town. It was a few years before I moved back.’
His eyes were sad and glazed.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.
‘There’s nothing to forgive. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me. I . . . I did some things I wasn’t proud of.’
‘You were seeing Dawn.’
Jo
e looked up, surprised. ‘You knew about that?’
‘I doesn’t matter,’ she replied.
‘I should never have gone there. You and I . . . we agreed we’d try to make it work for . . . for . . .’
His voice was soft and his words faded. Not wanting think about her dead child, she moved the conversation on and asked if he was still with Dawn. When he told her they had married, her stomach tightened.
‘If I’d found you things would have been different,’ he said.
‘It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.’
‘Did you leave because of Dawn?’
‘I was a mess. I needed to sort myself out.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘For what? We hardly had a normal relationship.’
‘But we said-’
‘I could have tried harder to track you down, but Dawn . . .’ he caught her eye ‘. . . she insisted I forgot you.’
A bartender walked towards them with an empty tray and a cloth in his hand. He removed the empty glasses and weaved around the tables to the far side.
‘Let’s not be morose,’ Jade said. ‘We can’t change the past.’
‘I wish we could.’
‘Me too. In fact, it’s my past that’s brought me here. Do you remember me telling you how my family died?’
‘In a fire?’
Jade nodded. ‘What else do you remember?’
‘Not much. You didn’t like talking about it as far as I recall.’
‘There was a good reason for that. I had dissociative amnesia.’
‘Man! You never said.’
‘I must have told you.’
‘If you did it’s gone.’
Jade was relieved. It was what she had hoped he would say and reaffirmed her belief that he could not be the stalker. He cared about her too much to cause her any harm and so far had shown her nothing other than kindness and regret. He certainly hadn’t spoken with any harsh undertones, and had done nothing to arouse even the slightest suspicion that he carried any grudges.
‘Someone’s stalking me,’ she said.
He jolted. ‘What?’
‘It’s someone who knows about my family history. I don’t have a clue who it is and it’s freaking me out.’
‘I’ll bet.’
‘Just this morning he called the fire brigade on my behalf, and then afterwards tried to set fire to the shed.’
‘Oh man! That’s intense.’
‘William thinks it’s my sister, Kath. For the first time the other day, she told me that she blames me for my mother’s suicide. I never knew she felt that way.’
‘That’s bad.’
Fighting for composure, she told Joe about her mother’s condition and Kath’s accusation. It was good to talk about it, and at the same time received his unhindered sympathy. It was what she had hoped for, as well as expected, and after some time, and feeling cleansed of her worries, she told him she had hired Luke Adams.
His face dropped. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’
Jade frowned. ‘Why ever not?’
‘I just don’t think you should – it doesn’t sound like a good idea.’
‘Give me one good reason?’
He hesitated for a moment. ‘It’s not going to be cheap.’
‘Joe, I need to know who’s doing this. You do understand, don’t you?’
He leaned forward, resting his weight on his arms and smiled. ‘Of course I do.’
‘That’s a relief. I need someone on my side. William is not . . .’ she turned away, ‘he’s not the most sympathetic. He said this morning I’m intruding on his business.’
‘You can intrude on my business any time you like.’
‘You sure?’
‘It’s the least I can do.’
He edged closer, his pupils dilated and his lips loose. With her body throbbing and her longing soaring, she leaned towards him. His breath was warm and sweet and his hand was hot on her back. As their lips met, the intervening years slipped away. She was twenty again, and young and in love.
Chapter 15
Luke’s mobile phone sounded an incoming message. It was a photo of Ava Rose from Sarah. Resting his arm on the desk and holding the phone flat in his palm, he absorbed his daughter’s beauty. Her eyes were particularly striking, shimmering pools of dark-blue filled with adoration, and her cheeks were a silky smooth and adoringly chubby. She was the most gorgeous baby he had ever seen.
He tapped in a brief response for Sarah, thanking her for sending the image, and glanced at the clock on the office wall. It was almost eleven o’clock. Another eight hours and they could be together again. Maybe tonight he could have some alone time with Ava and allow Sarah a little respite. In fact, if she didn’t object, he could take her to see Crystal.
A smile formed on his lips. It was wonderful seeing her again and they had gotten along as well as they had ever done. Her warm and attentive manner had always been one of her most admirable traits, and it was something he had missed in the intervening weeks. She could have, quite easily, been filled with malice and bitterness given that he had kept Sarah’s pregnancy from her, but instead she was welcoming, compassionate, and sympathetic to his needs. Crystal was a remarkable woman and a great friend.
Deciding she was sure to appreciate Ava’s cuteness, Luke forwarded the photo. In the accompanying text, he asked if they could both visit later in the day. He waited for the reply but it did not come. Concluding she was busy, and using it as a motivation to end his daydreaming, he placed the phone in his trouser pocket and returned his attention to his work.
His thoughts relating to Jade Horton would not settle. He glanced up and caught Imogen’s wandering gaze.
‘You look distracted,’ she said. ‘Thinking of Ava?’
‘No.’
‘Must be Crystal then.’
He averted his gaze, looking to the papers on his desk. ‘Why would I be thinking of Crystal? ’
‘You can’t tell me you don’t think about other women.’
‘I never said that.’
She reached in her drawer for a manicure set and started scraping under her nails, and every so often, she wiped away the tiny particles from the tool. It was a curious act. He wondered what she did to attract so much dirt.
‘I like Crystal,’ she said, ‘you could do far worse.’
He looked to her, expressionless.
‘It’s not good being with someone you don’t love.’
Luke tensed. ‘I never said I didn’t love Sarah.’
‘So it’s true,’ she said gleefully. ‘I can hear it in your voice. You sound defensive.’
‘No, I’m not.’ His voice wavered.
‘So say it . . . tell me you love Sarah.’
‘I do.’
‘Is that the best you can do?’
Evidently, Imogen had made up her mind; he could tell from her smug expression. There was no point arguing, as experience told him she would not be swayed. Instead, he turned his attention back to his computer monitor, forcing his concentration onto Jade Horton, but out of his eye corner, he could feel Imogen’s eyes press into him. She didn’t seem so willing to let the matter drop.
‘You wouldn’t like it if told you how you felt about Mark,’ he said.
Imogen recoiled and pressed her arms across her bosom, forcing him to regret his statement. He would never judge her relationships, at least not to her face, it just wasn’t right.
‘Go on then,’ she said, ‘how do I feel about him?’
‘Why do you want my opinion?’
She stared, waiting for his answer.
‘It’s nothing to do with me,’ he continued.
‘Do you like him?’
‘I don’t know him.’
‘That’s very evasive.’ She stood up, headed to the tea and coffee area, and flicked on the kettle. ‘You don’t, I can tell.’
He stared, puzzled.
For a second, Imogen appeared very vulnerable. She had an anxious look
in her eye, and opened and shut her mouth in quick succession, as though she was going to say something. Then she turned away and he took his cue to let the matter drop, returning his attention back to his monitor. Within seconds, Imogen’s self-assured manner had returned.
His curiosity was forgotten. They progressed with work.
Just before lunchtime, the doorbell sounded. Imogen scurried away like an excited child. It soon became obvious as to her reason. It was Crystal. Luke hurried into the reception area to greet her.
‘Crystal . . . what are you doing here?’
‘Hi Luke.’ She glanced at Imogen. ‘We’re popping out for lunch.’
‘Oh.’
Noticing his deflation, Imogen stifled a snigger. He turned around and scuttled back into the office.
‘Not so quick,’ Imogen said. ‘We’ve clubbed together and got a present for you.’
‘What?’
‘On becoming a new dad.’
He looked to the carpeted floor. ‘You shouldn’t have.’
Crystal reached into her bag and pulled out a box wrapped in shimmering red paper with tiny silver stars. As his hands touched the package, their eyes locked, and for a moment nothing else mattered. Then she broke the silence.
‘I got the photo you sent,’ she said, ‘sorry, I didn’t reply.’
He nodded.
‘She is very cute.’
‘What’s this I’m missing?’ Imogen said.
‘It’s of Ava,’ he replied. ‘I didn’t think you were interested.’
‘Why?’
‘You don’t seem to like babies.’
‘How did you work that out?’
Luke frowned and placed the package on the reception desk.
‘All women like babies. It’s natural.’ She turned to Crystal and winked. ‘Does Sarah breast-feed?’
‘Yes.’
‘Cool. I should imagine I would too.’
Luke lowered his gaze, his eyes flitting.
‘Does it put you off?’
‘Put me off?’
As soon as he replied and she started to giggle, he regretted it. Dumb response, he thought, shielding his face. Imogen had made the comment for her own amusement, yet he felt it was both intrusive and insensitive. It was only a matter of weeks since his relationship with Crystal had ended, and much had been left unsaid. He didn’t want Crystal thinking him callous in his ability to move on as quickly as he had; he wanted her to like him.