by Dawson, H A
‘I’m worried,’ he said, ‘someone’s stalking you, and half the time I don’t have a clue where you are. How do you think that makes me feel?’
‘I can look after myself.’
‘I know you can, but . . .’
She turned on the shower tap and peered back to the doorway. ‘Trust me then.’
‘I do, but you’re not yourself. You’re acting strange. I realise this stalker situation is upsetting you, but-’
‘Then give me some leeway. You’re always on my case. I can’t breathe without you checking what I’m doing.’
‘What’s happening is serious. We don’t know who you’re dealing with.’
‘And you’re not helping. You’re not exactly calming me down.’
‘Sorry.’
Accepting his apology, she stepped under the water. It was beautiful, like soft fingers massaging, a moment to cherish. She ran her fingers through her hair, sweeping it back from her forehead and shut her eyes.
William remained in the bathroom. Drawn to the intensity of his focus, she turned, irritated.
‘Why did you cancel Luke’s services?’ he asked.
‘You’re spying on me! You’re no better than him!’
‘It’s hardly the same.’
‘It’s exactly the same.’ She poured a blob of shampoo on her hand and rubbed it into her hair.
‘So why did you cancel?’
‘It’s none of your bloody business.’
‘It’s every bit my business . . . I’m part of this too.’
Jade’s annoyance stuck in her lips.
‘I’ve kept him on. This needs addressing. You can’t keep running, there’ll be no places left to go.’
‘I’m not running.’
William harrumphed. ‘We’ll talk about this when you’re done.’
‘No we won’t.’
But he was gone. She muttered expletives under her breath, and continued with her shower. The jetting water pummelled her scalp and made soothing pathways, ironing out the creases on her forehead. Yet it was barely sufficient, and as soon as she stepped onto the towel and dried her body her tensions returned.
The last thing she wanted to do was to go downstairs and restart the argument. But her stomach was grumbling and her hunger pangs increasing more each minute. She yearned something warm. Hot porridge seemed a good option.
To her regret, William was in the kitchen. If she had realised he was there she would have stayed upstairs for longer. However, looking for the positive, he had prepared breakfast.
‘I hope it’s all right,’ William said, presenting her with the scrambled egg.
‘I was going to have porridge.’
‘Oh,’ his face fell, ‘okay then.’ He pulled back the plate.
‘It’s made now. I’ll eat it.’
She moved into the dining room. He remained in her shadow.
‘Did you ring Kelsey?’ he asked.
‘Not today.’
‘She spoke to me last night. She left you a couple of messages.’
‘My phone was off.’
‘That’s what she said. She was very upset. She thinks you’re ignoring her.’
‘Why would I do that?’ Jade leapt from her seat. ‘I’ll ring her now.’
‘She’ll be in classes.’
‘Then I’ll send her a message.’
Jade charged up the stairs. Kelsey had left two voice messages as well as a text. How could she have not looked? Wasting no time, she tapped in her daughter’s number, told her she loved her and would ring later using her most apologetic tone, and returned downstairs.
‘I can’t believe you would ignore your daughter,’ William said.
Jade thrust a mouthful of egg into her mouth and stared at her plate. She was not ignoring her; she had been in no fit state to have a conversation. If it weren’t for William being so demanding, as well as unsupportive, she would never have had to turn to Joe, and she wouldn’t have been dumped. If anyone was to blame, it was him.
‘It might be good to contact Kath too. It was good of her to come around and check you were all right.’
Jade gritted her teeth. ‘Yes it was.’
‘Where were you Jade? I know you weren’t at home.’
‘I was upset, okay? I went into town and had a few to drink. I fell asleep.’
‘You slept on the streets?’
‘Yes William, I did. Now will you get off my case.’
He shook his head, both disappointed and disapproving, and left the room. At last, he was giving her some space. She released a taut breath and leaned into the chair, enjoying the warmth and privacy of the room and the comfort of the padding beneath her bottom. It was very different from the cold concrete ground, and despite enjoying the solitude and the freedom it had provided, it was not something she wanted to return to in a hurry. It was far too stressful.
Being back on the streets had been an enlightening experience, and had helped her realise the bits of her life she wanted to hold onto, as well as the bits she wanted to dispose of. She certainly enjoyed the home comforts, but she wasn’t so sure about the company. Aware of William’s footsteps in the hallway and the rustling of papers, she glanced upwards. They had shared good times, but they seemed to be getting fewer and fewer. It didn’t help that whenever she opened her mouth he seemed to be ready to pass judgment. He wouldn’t be able to discuss her dream in a calm fashion that was a certain.
It had been a bizarre experience and had seemed very real, but how could it have been? If someone had approached her they would they have harmed her, either that or they would have stolen her money and cards. In addition, if it had been the stalker, he would have definitely left a calling card. Nothing like that had happened.
Her chest swelled. It must have been a dream. She should not worry, yet a niggling doubt remained.
William appeared in the doorway. He was holding something and his face was lacking colour. He looked up, caught her eye, and her pulse raced. Something was wrong, very wrong.
He passed her a photo.
It was taken last night. She was sprawled on the flattened cardboard boxes, fast asleep, and underneath it said, ‘Asleep or dead?’
She drove. She had no destination in mind, and weaved the city streets. Having taken a trip around the outskirts, she returned home, but William’s car was in the drive. Not wanting to partake in another fracas, she turned around and headed towards Joe’s estate. It was late in the day and school had finished, and she yearned a soothing hug.
He had always had a way of saying the right things at the right moment. He would listen to her rants, he would place tender kisses upon her cheek, and he would provide her with calmness and reassurance. Her sense of vulnerability would disperse, and her strength would emerge. He didn’t judge her and he didn’t criticise her methods. He trusted in her abilities, allowing her to make her achievements her own way.
She stopped the car a little distance away from his house and turned off the engine. There was a flicker of movement in the upstairs bedroom and her heart skipped a beat. It was not enough to see who it was, but she told herself it was Joe. Soon, he would exit the house. He would admit to his error and he would lavish her in kisses. She would breath in his familiar scent, and the tiny hairs on her back would stand on end.
The waiting extended from seconds to minutes and Jade heaved a heavy sigh. Joe wasn’t going to appear; it was a hopeless cause. She glanced down to her handbag and plucked her phone free. She had received a message. Her hopes danced.
It was Kath and she wanted to meet. Jade replied swiftly, saying she was busy helping at the tennis club. She considered adding ‘another time’ but her fingers would not cooperate. Perhaps it was better not to lie too often.
Clinging to the phone, she stared at Joe’s house. He had made his feelings clear, and given she was not usually the type to return for more humiliation, she placed the phone back in her bag. But her heart strained with her yearning. She needed someone to lean on, and s
he needed to hear his sound advise regarding the photo.
Her stomach churned. Who would do such a horrible thing? It was bad enough that someone had taken the picture without her knowledge, but to write nonsensical words underneath had made it even worse. He could have killed her in a flash, and given her drunken state, she would have had little coordination or strength to retaliate. Realising the danger she had put herself in she started to shake, despite the warm weather, and closed the window and squeezed her arms closer to her body. She could have been killed, and Kelsey would never see her again. It was a terrible thought.
She must focus on the positive. Her stalker had had every chance to kill her, and yet he hadn’t taken it. So what were his intentions? Did he have a plan, or did he simply want to scare her? She thought back to the dream and a comment flashed into her mind. He had said she would be his, in his life forever. Was that proof that he never intended her any harm? She snatched her phone from her bag and dialled Joe’s number.
‘What do you want?’ he said, his voice gruff.
Her confidence slipped. It had been a bad idea ringing, and she searched for an excuse, ready to slip away.
‘I’m busy right now,’ he continued, ‘no thanks to you.’
‘What’s happened?’
‘I’ve had Luke Adams asking questions. You’d told me you’d stopped the investigation.’
‘I did. It was William, he-’
‘Leave it Jade. You should get out of here . . . it’s not safe.’
‘I know, that’s why I’m ringing. Someone took a photo of me last night and posted it in my letterbox, and underneath they’d written “asleep or dead?” I don’t know what it means.’
Silence.
‘Joe, I need to talk.’
‘Try William.’
‘Why are you angry with me?’
Joe sighed. ‘Go home Jade.’
Fearing he had seen her hanging around his house, she slipped down her seat, a feeble attempt at protecting her humiliation.
‘Please,’ he said, ‘go back to William . . . get out of temptations way.’
‘So you do care. I knew it.’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ he said.
‘Then what?’
‘I can’t see you. Not now.’
‘Another day then?’
‘I have to go. I have something to do. Text me if something else happens.’
The ring tone sounded in her ear. She gawped at the phone, checking she hadn’t lost the connection or that the batteries hadn’t failed, and realised it had been Joe’s action. Her insides ached; her yearning was a hopeless cause.
She started the engine and drove along the street, and arrived at a row of shops in the centre of the estate. Deciding she wanted something sweet, she parked up and bought a bar of chocolate and a packet of chewy sweets. Not ready to return home, she wandered towards the community centre to a bench, and munching, soaked up the sun’s rays. People drifted by, some passing her a curious stare whilst others paid her no attention. After an indeterminate amount of time, a teenager and a dog appeared in her eye corner. She spun to look.
‘Hello Dylan.’ His glasses were taped and his face red and sore. ‘You look like you’ve taken a tumble. Are you all right?’
‘Yeah. I’m used to it.’
‘What happened?’
‘Kids at school. There’s a girl I like, and she was being bullied. I shouldn’t have gotten involved.’
‘Aw. It’s a good thing to do. I’ll bet she was pleased.’
‘Nope. Didn’t stay around.’
‘That’s too bad.’
Scowling, he looked to his feet.
‘Maybe she was scared. Does she know how you feel about her?’
‘She did, but then Mum got involved. She’s a heartless cow. I hate her.’
‘What did she do?’
‘She turned Sonya against me and told her things to embarrass me, just like she does with everyone. I doubt she wants anything to do with me now.’
‘I think you should try again. You’re a lovely young man. She’ll see that.’
Dylan’s face softened and his eyes glazed. ‘You really think so.’
Jade nodded. He seemed surprised by her comment, and he wondered how often he had been praised. ‘Sit next to me.’
He tied his dog to the back of the seat and sat near the end of the bench.
‘This girl’s worth fighting for, is she not?’
He did not answer.
‘Try asking her if she’s still being bullied.’
‘I doubt she’ll talk to me.’
‘I think she will. Be a bit more persistent, in a nice way of course, and she’ll see you’re worth it.’
Dylan stared towards the shops. A group of girls gathered outside before heading away.
‘You should try telling your mother how you feel as well,’ Jade said. ‘You need to let people see the side I see.’
‘She doesn’t care . . . never has. She’s not mother material. I don’t know why she had me. Dad too. He’s just as bad. He lies to me all the time. Tells me he’s protecting me, but he’s not. I’m not a kid.’
Their eyes locked; she offered a compassionate gaze. ‘It sounds like you’re doing it tough. Hang in there.’
‘They think I’m stupid but I’m not. I’m a grade A student in just about every subject. I’m not so good at art though, only got a B last year.’
‘What do you like to do?’
‘Computer stuff. I’m a whiz on the Internet. I want to be a professional hacker.’
Jade chuckled. ‘That’s not necessarily a wise choice.’
‘I could be a spy – work for MI5. They must employ hackers.’
‘It’s good to set your sights high, but don’t you go getting yourself into trouble. I wouldn’t want that. I doubt your parents’ would like it either.’
Puffing out, Dylan hesitated, gathering his thoughts. ‘I can’t believe I’m related to them. I’d do a DNA test if I could.’
‘Is it that bad?’
He nodded. ‘Do blood types tell you anything?
She turned to face him. ‘Dylan, this is not the way to go. You need to try to find a way to connect with them. We all go through difficulties in our teens. You’ll come through it, I promise you. Just try a little harder.’
He folded his arms. ‘I wish I had a brother or sister. They’d understand me. Do you have anyone?’
‘I have a partner. My sister and I are estranged.’
‘Why?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Has she upset you?’
‘I . . . kind of. Like I said it’s complicated.’
‘It must be her fault. You’re too nice to have done anything wrong.’
‘Aw, thank you Dylan. That’s a lovely thing to say.’
‘I’d bet you’d do anything for her.’
Jade hesitated and folded her arms. She wanted to say she would, but the words were stuck, and a feigned smile sat on her lips.
‘Family’s important to you, isn’t it?’ Dylan said.
‘It is.’
‘I wish we were family. Can we pretend?’
Jade passed him a puzzled look.
He held a concentrated stare.
‘Please try a bit harder with your parents’ Dylan. You only have one set.’
He seemed irritated and stood up and unhooked his dog from the seat. ‘I thought you were different.’ He yanked his dog away. ‘I shouldn’t have trusted you.’
‘Don’t go. I never said-’
‘Forget it. Life sucks. I suck. I may as well just vanish. No one would miss me.’
Jade stared, bewildered by his swift departure and pondering his strange comment, but then, remembering the time, she pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled Kelsey’s number. It rang once, and then she heard the sweet sound of her young daughter’s voice. Ripples swept across her body and tears filled her eyes. She could not apologise enough, and neither could Kelsey.
She started the engine, headed along the main highway, and took a sharp left, up a narrow winding road. At either side, beyond the high walls, was woodland. It was dark and shadowy, and little light spilled onto the road, despite being a bright sunny day. Trundling along, climbing the hill in the dappled light, she replayed the conversation with Kelsey in her mind.
Her daughter was happy. What could be better? With much to say, the short conversations were hardly enough, and Jade wondered if she should plan a few days holiday. It would be great to get away from her troubles, and it would provide her with the opportunity to check the locals, just to ensure no strangers were watching.
Movement out of her eye corner flashed towards her. She glanced up to the wall. Someone had hurled a brick and it was going to collide with the car. She screamed. It hit the windscreen. Swerving, she lost control. There was a wall. She had no escape.
Chapter 28
There were five beds at either side of the ward. The floor was a glossy yellow colour, as was the blanket on each of the beds, and the curtains, all of which were gathered by the wall, were off-white. It was sparklingly clean in the room, and without even the smallest gritty patches or scratch marks on both the décor and the furniture. There was also that distinctive sterile smell in the air, which did little to relax Jade’s mood. It was cold and unforgiving, and she felt even the slightest of misdemeanours would be considered with intense disapproval.
Across the room, a Caucasian woman with bronzed skin and soft yellow hair stared. She looked as though she wanted to start a conversation, but not wanting to be sociable and feeling sore from the accident, Jade averted her gaze and moved positions. It was a mistake. Her traumatised neck sent ripples of pain down her arm to her fingers, tingling at the tips. She gritted her teeth, writhing in suppressed agony, and settled onto the back. Her muscles were aching and her bones sore. Nothing felt comfortable. The bed was like concrete and the sheets and blanket were restricting and harsh.