by Dawson, H A
‘My baby died, damn it. Why don’t you hear me? It wasn’t my choice.’
‘You lie! You didn’t love him . . . said he was inconvenient. Dad told me.’
‘No! That’s not true!’
Jade’s adrenalin surged, her body trembling. Wanting to run, she tried to pull apart her hands. The handcuffs trapped her skin. She tried the same with her legs. The tape restricted.
‘You’re a murderer! You killed an innocent child and you’re too pathetic to admit to it. Dad’s suffered. We all suffered. All because of you!’
He dragged his eyes across her body, looking at her with contempt and hatred, before stuffing his belongings into his bag and walking towards the exit.
She watched, mesmerised. The door banged shut.
Then she was alone.
His words echoed in her head. ‘You killed him. You didn’t love him.’
It wasn’t true. It wasn’t.
But how could she be so sure? She suffered from a mental disorder. She could have put any memory in place of the truth and she would be non the wiser. It would explain why she had run from Joe and Dawn, her two best friends, and it would explain why she was so terrified of learning what had happened, the constant hiding and the constant running.
Jade’s chest heaved and her eyes misted as images flashed inside her head. She imagined smothering her baby of his tiny breaths; she visualised Joe’s horror when he saw the result of her action. It repeated. It haunted. Her son’s life had ended in one horrendous act of malice, out of a purely selfish need. She had wanted him gone.
She started to sob, huge, heaving sobs, and her body quaked. Why had she done it? Why had she not loved her son? She cried until her energy was lost and her eyes were puffy and sore. Snot dripped into her mouth. She snivelled. She wriggled towards the straw and rubbed her face into the small fibrous strips. Her eyes stung. She did not care.
Every bit of what Dylan said was true. Her baby had not been born dead. He had cried. She remembered now. It happened after he was born, when Dawn and Joe hurried him into the next room. It was a tiny sound, somewhat muffled, but it had been real. So when had she killed him? Her memories were hidden behind an infuriating barricade. Helpless, she screamed out her anguish and desolation.
Chapter 34
Luke and Imogen had been told that the tramp often headed this way after busking, and since they had not been able to find him in the busy parts of the centre, they decided it was worth a wait. However, the last of the impatient workers and shoppers obstructed Luke’s view of the station. Time was speeding along, and many of the daily commuters had long since left. Fearing he had not been paying enough attention, he glanced at his coffee, checking how much he still had to drink, and looked to Imogen.
‘We should have been waiting outside,’ he said.
‘Why? The view is good in here.’
‘We could easily miss him. Maybe we already have.’
‘You’re such a worrywart. I’ve been keeping watch, and anyhow, if he doesn’t show we’ll just have to make a few calls. It shouldn’t be too difficult to have things confirmed.’
‘No, you’re right.’
Imogen’s gaze drifted to her mug. ‘It’s a horrible thing to discover. I wonder how it’s going to pan out.’
‘I wouldn’t want to be Jade, for sure. All the time she had been led to believe her baby had died and she’d . . . she’d . . .’
Her voice faded. Luke glanced up, drawn to her distress. ‘We’re going to have to tell her.’
‘As if that’s not hard enough. She’s going to have to deal with the truth regarding her family as well. Poor woman.’
‘I’ve checked all the police reports and the newspapers. I’ve not found any suggestions there may have been a cover up. Without proof I’m not sure we can do anything.’
‘Shouldn’t we raise it with them?’
‘We’ll wait and see what Jade remembers. We might be able to give her a little push into remembering.’
‘And if she doesn’t?’
He leaned back into his chair, imagining Jade’s distress. It was part of the job he liked the least, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. ‘I don’t know. It might be better to stay quiet, for all their sakes.’
‘I’m not sure about that. Haven’t we been hired to uncover the truth?’
‘The truth is overrated.’
Imogen leaned over, grabbed a handheld mirror from her bag, and checked her makeup.
‘Anyhow, we’ve been hired to determine who’s stalking her,’ Luke said, ‘Kath is not the guilty party. She may have said things to Joe and Dylan and unwittingly exacerbated the situation, but that’s hardly a crime.’
Imogen accepted his explanation.
‘I knew Jade at school,’ he said. ‘She was a good kid. If her mother hadn’t wanted to die, her life would have been very different.’
‘She would never have hooked up with Joe,’
‘Yes . . . and the rest.’
Luke’s phone sounded. He stretched to one side and plucked it from his jacket pocket. It was William and his voice had an anxious tone to it. Jade was missing. Luke tried to calm him down reasoning she had only been gone a couple hours, but his words had no impact.
He shared the conversation with Imogen.
‘She hasn’t been gone very long,’ she said.
‘No, but given what she’s been through, I can understand him fearing the worst. He said she might have gone to see Joe, but he can’t get in touch with her. Her phone’s off.’
‘Is that normal?’
‘He said it was.’
Imogen leaned forward and folded her arms. ‘Is she a bit ditsy? If I were in her position, I wouldn’t go out alone.’
‘She must think she’s in safe company.’
Her jaw dropped. ‘You don’t think they’re having an affair do you?’
‘I got the sense that’s what William thought.’
‘That’s too bad.’
His inside tumbled, his thoughts with Crystal and Sarah. Searching for a distraction, he looked across the café entrance and to a wailing baby. The mother’s distress was visible, such was her crumpled, perplexed face, and she crouched down, said something to her red-faced daughter, and stuffed a dummy into her mouth. The child spit it out, and the crying continued.
‘Crystal says you haven’t told Sarah,’ Imogen said.
‘I . . . no.’
‘Luke Adams! If Crystal wasn’t my friend I’d be impressed with you for seeing two women at once.’
‘I’ll do it tonight. I haven’t had time.’
‘Make sure you do or you’ll have me to answer to.’
‘I will.’
Luke lowered his gaze. During his last visit, Sarah had been rested and energised, having had a good day with Ava, and he had felt it difficult to break the news. She was unusually attentive, and smoothed down his hair, caressed his bare skin, and loaded him with compliments. Surprised by her behaviour, he drifted along with her good mood. Only afterwards, had his regrets surfaced.
Wanting his shame to dissolve, determined stop Imogen reading his thoughts, he forced his mind back on the job and looked through the window, across the street, and to the station. After a few moments, a tramp came into view and his adrenalin pumped.
‘He’s there. Let’s go.’
Imogen stood up, slurped back the remained of her coffee, and followed him outside. The air was beginning to cool, and the early evening traffic was dissipating. Determined not to loose sight of Hazza, Luke ran across the road between cars. He arrived at the man’s rear, paused to steady his breaths, and waited for Imogen to catch up. Then, having indicated to her he was going to make a move, he introduced himself to the stranger.
‘Excuse me,’ he said, ‘Are you Hazza?’
‘Who’s asking?’
‘We’re friends of Jade Horton’s. She’s in trouble, and we hoped you may be able to help.’
He looked to them with suspicion, and then strode ahe
ad. ‘Don’t know her.’
‘Please. It’s important.’ Luke pulled the photo from his pocket. ‘Look here. I have a photo. The two of you were together just last week.’
Hazza looked out of his eye corner and his steps slowed.
‘Who took this?’ Luke continued.
‘Dunno.’
‘I think you do. You know Joe Dobbs quite well. You spoke to him recently. Was it him?’
‘No, it wasn’t him.’
‘Was it his son?’
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. ‘It’ll cost.’
Luke pulled ten pounds from his wallet and presented it, yet kept it firm between his fingers. ‘Jade deserves to know the truth.’
Hazza walked away. Taking the hint, Luke selected more money and chased after him.
‘Not here off the street,’ Hazza said, ‘then we’ll talk.’
Chapter 35
Jade’s eyes sprang open, her pulse pounding. He had placed a chair over her legs and another over her head and held them in position with large stones. Panicking, her eyes darted into the darkness. He was moving in the shadows, creeping like a mouse, and she was clueless as to his motives.
The fading light projected towards her from the barn door. She lifted her head and strained her neck to see. He was outside, trailed by his little dog. She cried out his name and kicked her legs from side to side, and stared at the underside of the dusty chair. A spider hurried across the seat and down the leg, heading towards her face. Her heartbeat quickened, her breathing hurried. She edged to the side and strained to see out of her eye corner. It was big and hairy with a bulging body and ridiculously long legs, and it centimetres from her face. She started to sweat and moisture trickled down her skin. She blinked, urging the itching to stop. The spider disappeared.
Footsteps approached. Dylan was dragging something. It was long and thin. It looked like a pipe. It was pipe. He placed it on the chairs, stabilising it with ties, and placed the end in a hole just above her face.
‘Dylan.’ Her voice quivered. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Making you remember.’
‘I have remembered. I believe you. Just let me go. I’ll do whatever you ask.’
‘No wonder Kath is angry,’ he said, ‘someone has to stand up for her.’
‘What’s this got to do with Kath?’
‘She’s a good person.’
‘I know she is.’ Jade wriggled her toes, her feet chilling. ‘I’ll apologise.’
‘You lie and you don’t accept responsibility.’
‘I can change. Come on Dylan, this is not you.’
There was derision in his eyes, yet deep within was something much softer. Was it sadness . . . or a need to be loved?
‘Please Dylan, stop this.’
‘All she wanted was an apology. You refused. You never admitted it.’
‘Admitted what? You’re not making sense.’
He did not respond, and checked the chairs and pipe for movement. Despite the cold, sweat pored from her hands and forehead. She shivered and she burned.
‘That baby wasn’t the first person you killed. You’re heartless and selfish, and you’ve had chances. It’s time you remembered and faced up to what you’ve done.’
‘Dylan, I’m sorry, but don’t do this.’ Her pulse picked up speed. ‘You’re a good person. I know you are. You don’t want to hurt me. You care about me. We’re friends.’
‘We’ll never be friends.’ He turned away and headed towards the exit.
‘I should never have hurt my baby,’ she cried, ‘I was mixed up. It was because of the fire and losing my family. I wasn’t thinking straight. I did love him.’
‘You never loved him!’ Hatred creased his face. ‘Don’t lie to me!’
‘I’m not lying. He meant everything to me.’
‘Then why kill him?’
Jade’s face scrunched and her heart swelled.
‘There, see. You do lie. You’re no better than the rest.’ He stormed away, disappearing into the night sky.
Tears streaked across her face. She tried to imagine her tiny son, but all she could see was a picture of herself smothering him of his tiny breaths. Without the strength or forethought to resist, the little baby watched on, trust glazed into his face. She had let him down. She had let everyone down. She lay rock-still, drowning in self-pity.
Time ticked by, and she wanted to go home. She had been left alone in cold dark barn lying under Dylan’s contraption, and she had no idea as to whether or not he was going to return. Fearing that William would not be looking for her, she decided she had to get out. She could cry endless tears later, but for now had a job to do. She raised her knees and twisted her body, trying to free herself, but the chair legs had been placed in her armpits restricting her movement and she could not extract herself. She shouted profanities and she cried out Dylan’s name.
A drop of water landed on her face.
Jerking, she screamed, and shot a glance to the end of the pipe. It happened again, and again. Her panic increased. She stared at the hole and watched the globule increase in size. It elongated, stretching from its support. It broke free. It landed on her face, splashing her lips. She licked them dry.
‘Dylan!’
Only her hurried heartbeat and the recurring dripping sound of water interrupted the silence.
‘Dylan! I’m sorry.’
She strained her neck to look at the doorway. The developing shadows drifted in the breeze.
A drop landed on her nose.
She leaned back. Movement at the doorway caught her attention.
‘Dylan!’ she yelled. ‘Dylan! Stop this!’
She sank her head back to the floor and closed her eyes, and tried to understand his motives. He may be Kath’s friend, but this was not his battle to fight, it was hers. Likewise, if she had hurt Joe, then Dylan had only lost a brother. Why did he need hurt her so vehemently? Had Joe suffered as much as Dylan had implied? Dylan had seemed such a nice boy, generous with his thoughts and caring with his actions. His behaviour was out of character.
More droplets of water sprayed her face, and they were becoming ever more annoying. Her skin was wet and cold, and dust particles tickled her eyes and nostrils, yet she was utterly helpless and could not remove any of the irritating itches. Getting desperate and feeling shivery and panicky, she cried out Dylan’s name. Still, he did not respond.
Shaking away a droplet of water, she looked over her shoulder and tried to see to her rear, yet the darkness was limiting. She imagined he was sat on the hay watched her suffer. He was probably amused and sneered at her whimpers. Not willing to allow him the privilege, she silenced her voice and tolerated the drips.
How could he be Joe’s son? What kind of upbringing had he had to be capable of such evil? Having a mother he had issues with was no excuse for this kind of behaviour. What was he doing? Jade’s distress contorted her stomach, loosening her gut.
He had said he wanted her to remember.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Memories surfaced, flashing into her thoughts. She had been nursing her mother and arguing with Kath for her decision to assist with the suicide. Then came the fire. She had been asleep and heard a movement downstairs. She had rushed outside, seeking the intruder and watched the flames engulf the house. Her brothers screamed. They called out her name.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
She had been meandering the streets, dazed. She met Joe. They were cold and hungry. They snuggled together for comfort and warmth. She found out she was pregnant. She didn’t want the child. It was an inconvenience. She told Joe.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
She had wanted her family, her mother and father, her brothers and sister. She wanted to be part of something. She was afraid. She was alone. She was not ready to be responsible for another life.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
They had all died, leaving her alone in the world without anyone.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
She had n
eeded to be loved.
Jade released a piercing scream, and tears mingled with the gathering water. She was frozen cold and her sore body pressed into the concrete. She could not move. She released a desperate plea.
He did not respond. She shut her eyes, her tension rising.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
She was swimming in cold water. She was slipping under the waves. She could not breathe.
She yanked herself upright, banged her head on the chair, and spluttered and coughed. Whimpering, she scanned the darkness, sweeping the shadows and the dust particles hanging in the partially illuminated air. If she could predict the droplets, she could maintain her clarity of thought until someone found her, so she started to count. One, two, three, drip. One, two, three, drip. The water could not harm. It was a tiny amount. She fought to visualise a tranquil and dry scene.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
She could not. She was in the bath. She was at the local swimming pool. She was in the shower. Her tension stiffened her muscles. Her face was sodden. Her efforts were hopeless. She snivelled and howled. She kicked the side of the chair with her legs. She cried out for help.
There was no one there.
A drip landed on her nose.
‘Help!’
Another drip landed. And another. And another. She shook her head, the pain killing her neck. She twisted. She raised her knees into a tight gap. She banged her head on the chair leg.
‘Heee-llpp! Anyone!’
Her cry was feeble and tears streaked her face. She was alone in the darkness. She wanted to slip away.
Her mother’s voice was her reassurance.
A memory flashed into her mind. Nancy was in a bath of water. Jade was with her. They were alone.
Chapter 36
Just as Luke parked the car, his phone started to ring. He pulled it from his pocket.
‘Hello, any news?’
William spoke with urgency. ‘I still can’t find her and it’s getting dark.’
‘It’s not been very long.’
‘I have a horrible feeling. Something’s happened, I can tell.’