by Sarah Morgan
“Later. Let’s unload the car first.”
Brittany walked through to the kitchen. The sun flooded in from the garden, bouncing light across the room. For a moment she saw her grandmother, standing in front of the stove, humming as she stirred and tasted.
One blink and the image vanished, but the ache in her chest remained.
Everything looked the same. The jars of brightly colored sea glass collected on trips to the beach, the hurricane lamp and strangely shaped piece of driftwood Brittany had found washed up on the shore as a child. Everything was as it should be, each piece part of the jigsaw that created a picture of her childhood.
The only gap was the one left by her grandmother.
She missed her all the time, but never more so than now. He’s back, Grams, and I don’t know what to do.
Emily followed her into the room. “I put your case in the bedroom. It weighs a ton. Please tell me it’s not full of Bronze Age weapons.”
“That case contains my life. A bit sad that I can cram it all into one suitcase.” But she knew her grandmother wouldn’t have agreed. People, experiences, those are the things of real value, Brittany.
She slumped on the kitchen chair, exhausted from the journey and the stress of keeping up the pretense of indifference in front of Zach. The worst thing was that she didn’t want it to be pretense. She wanted to feel indifference and it worried her that she didn’t.
How could seeing a man who had walked out on her without a backward glance make her feel weak at the knees? “Do you know what’s crazy about all this? I’m over him. I really am. I know people say that, but I mean it. So why am I feeling like this?” She ran her hand over her face and Emily walked across and gave her a hug.
“Anyone would be unsettled to meet their ex after such a long time, especially after the relationship ended the way yours did. And on top of that you’re jet-lagged and in pain. What you’re feeling is totally normal. Don’t overthink it, Brittany.”
“I’m not.” It was a lie and both of them knew it. “My relationship with him was the one big failure of my life and I hate failing. Seeing him back here is like finding someone spray painted ‘you screwed up’ on a wall.”
“If you’d given us more notice we could have killed him and hidden his body before you arrived home.”
“How did you even recognize him? You never met him.”
“The first thing you did when you arrived at college was stick a picture of him on your wall and ask us to decorate it.”
“I remember. I met my two best friends because of him. I suppose I should be grateful.”
“I was responsible for the warts on his nose. The three of us stared at his face every night for three months. Skylar gave him a skin condition with her paints and you pushed pins into him. By the time you stopped crying yourself to sleep he had multiple piercings that weren’t of his choosing. It was kind of a shock to come face-to-face with him and not see a face riddled full of holes. And it’s a memorable face. Not hard to see why you fell for him.”
“Take a good look. His face won’t be so memorable once I’ve rearranged those perfect features. It’s amazing how much damage a girl can do with a plaster cast.” Brittany closed her eyes briefly, trying to calm the pool of emotion simmering inside her, but even with her eyes shut all she saw were strong features and dark masculinity. “Thanks for the ride. I should have called a cab but I couldn’t face handling the questions Pete would throw at me. Did I drag you away from something important?”
“No. And whatever I was doing would have been less important than meeting my best friend at the airport after a long flight. Wait there.” Emily vanished to the car and returned moments later with her arms loaded up with bags. “I stocked up at the store after I got your text. I assumed you wouldn’t have anything in so I bought the basics.”
“As long as the basics include soda, I’m happy.” Brittany eyed the bags gratefully, hoping they were full of food that didn’t require two hands to prepare. “You’re a friend in a million.”
“So are you.” Emily piled the bags on the table. “I can’t ever repay you for letting me use this place. You saved me. And Lizzy. We owe you so much.”
“You don’t owe me anything. And talking of friends, I’m guessing Ryan knows Zach is back?”
“Yes.” Emily pushed milk and cheese into the fridge. “Like I said, you weren’t here and it’s not as if Zach has a habit of sticking around.”
“You’re talking to the woman he married and then left less than two weeks after so I know exactly how long he generally sticks around.” It annoyed her that she felt so unsettled. So what if he was back? She’d hurt and healed. It was in the past. And although the past fascinated her so much she’d made it her career, that fascination didn’t extend to her own history.
“Are you mad with us for not telling you?”
“I’m so churned up inside I don’t know what I’m feeling.” Brittany sighed and shook her head. “No, of course I’m not mad. In your position I wouldn’t have told me, either.”
“It seemed like the right decision at the time, but it seems like the wrong one now.”
“Yeah, well, I know all about that, too. I married Zach thinking it was the right decision and look how that turned out.”
Emily was still unloading food. “Did you eat on the flight? I can cook you something. I bought eggs, and a fresh loaf from the bakery.”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry.” She felt as if her stomach was doing gymnastics.
“You have to eat something.” Emily handed her a bag. “Here. Blueberry muffins I baked fresh this morning.”
“Seriously?” Brittany peered into the bag and sniffed. “Since when do you cook?”
“Since I inherited a six-year-old girl. I have also learned to braid hair, make pasta necklaces and fix torn fairy wings. And before you accuse me of gender bias, I should tell you I’m also skilled at making pirate maps complete with tea stains and authentically burned edges, and last weekend I bought her a bow and arrow. A child’s version, obviously.”
Brittany felt a flash of guilt. “I haven’t even asked how you’re both doing. Your life went to hell and I wasn’t here and now I am here I’m talking about myself. I’m the most selfish friend in the world. Skylar updated me on your recent crisis. The journalist? Bastard. Why would they go after a child?”
“Because the whereabouts of the daughter of a dead movie star are apparently of public interest.”
Brittany nibbled the corner of the muffin. “So they came here and tried to trick the islanders into revealing information.”
“Which they didn’t, of course, because the islanders were amazing. Ryan was amazing.” Emily’s cheeks turned a deep shade of rose and Brittany looked at her closely.
“I can’t believe you’re saying that. The first night you arrived you left me a message saying you were on the first ferry out of here. You were threatening to head somewhere landlocked like Wyoming or Nebraska. I know you hate the sea. What happened?”
“I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would.”
“There’s something different about you.”
“This red shirt is new. Sky chose it.”
“It’s flattering. Better than your usual black. But that’s not what I’m seeing. You mentioned you had something to tell me. So tell me.”
“Today is about you, not me.”
“I need to be distracted from the pain in my wrist and my compelling need to kill my ex. Talk. And I want detail, including the brilliant sex I’m fairly sure you’re getting.”
Emily gave a choked laugh. “What makes you think that?”
“You’re glowing and happy. You’ve lost that white, pinched look you always had when you were with miserable Neil. I didn’t see it immediately, mostly because I was focused on escaping from Zach, but you’ve changed.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’s just a shirt.”
“I’m not talking about the shirt. Your hair is different. A little s
horter and you’re wearing it loose.”
“There’s a new hairdresser up at the harbor. Her name is Hanna. Lisa and I wanted to give her some business, that’s all.”
“She’s good. Maybe I’ll book myself in. I believe in supporting new businesses on the island.” Brittany studied her friend. “You look happy. I’m relieved. I was worried. I felt helpless being so far away when you were going through hell. And Sky was stuck in Manhattan with the soon-to-be senator who suffered a sense-of-humor failure at birth. I didn’t know what to do, so I called Ryan.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“I didn’t give him details, just asked him to keep an eye on you.” Contemplating her friend’s dreamy expression, Brittany laughed. “I’m guessing he kept a very, very close eye on you. Next time I need to be more specific in my brief. I asked him to support you, not seduce you. Not that there’s anything wrong with comfort sex and I’m sure Ryan was very good at that side of things.”
Emily placed fruit in the bowl in the center of the table. “It’s a bit more than comfort sex.”
“How much more?”
“We like each other.”
“Of course. You went to bed with him. You’d never go to bed with a man you didn’t like.”
“Love.” Emily stumbled over the word. “I love him. He loves me. And if there was a seduction, it was mutual.”
Brittany hid her surprise. “Love terrifies you.” And she understood why. She, like Skylar, knew all of Emily’s secrets. “It always has.”
“Yes. But that was before Ryan.”
“Well—wow.” Brittany felt warmth burn out the chill inside her. Love wasn’t something that had worked out for her, nor had it worked out for her parents, but it was great seeing it work out for her friends, especially Emily who had avoided that emotion since childhood. “Seems like we have a lot of catching up to do. We should invite Sky for the weekend. Bottle of chilled wine, pajamas and full confessions all round. It will be just like old times.”
“Sounds good.”
Brittany watched as her friend pushed her hair back—hair she’d habitually worn secured to the back of her head but which now swung loose around her shoulders. “So is Ryan the reason you’re no longer living in my cottage?”
“He asked us to move in with him. We’re living in Harbor House.”
“His old family home? I love that place. The high ceilings, the views—it’s incredible. So this isn’t just love, it’s serious.” She caught sight of the ring on Emily’s finger for the first time and gasped. “Is that—? Holy crap, Em. How could I not have noticed that? And why didn’t you wave it under my nose?”
“Because you have enough to think about and anyway, it’s all been very sudden—”
“But if you know, then why wait, right?” She grabbed Emily’s hand and took a closer look and felt her eyes fill. “Em, oh, Em!” She hugged her friend with her good arm and felt tears spill onto her cheeks. “I’m so happy for you both. Two of my favorite people getting married and to each other! I expect to be invited every Thanksgiving and Christmas. This calls for a major celebration.”
“I wasn’t going to mention it yet. I thought it might be tactless with Zach back on the island.”
“Just because my own love life is in a coma and I’m tripping over my ex, doesn’t mean I can’t be thrilled for my friend. And I am thrilled.” She released Emily and wiped her hand over her cheek. “Look at me. I’m a sentimental mess. Where did he find that ring?”
“We went to Boston for the weekend.”
Examining the glittering stone, Brittany felt something stir inside her. Zach hadn’t given her a ring. At the time she hadn’t cared. Their impulsive wedding had seemed the ultimate in romantic gestures and she’d told herself that Zachary Flynn wasn’t the sort of man to buy a girl a diamond. It had taken her a while to realize it was just another sign that he couldn’t be tamed. She’d tried to create a bond with a man who didn’t understand the meaning of the word.
Letting go of Emily’s hand, she reminded herself that a diamond wouldn’t have sealed a relationship that was already cracked beyond repair.
“So if you’ve moved into Harbor House, where is Ryan’s grandmother living?” Agnes Cooper had been her grandmother’s closest friend. “Much as I love her, having her as a housemate would be seriously restrictive. No spontaneous sex on the kitchen table.”
“Agnes has already moved into one of the retirement cottages.”
“Leaving you free to have sex anywhere you like. Well—” Pondering, Brittany sat back in her chair and picked up her soda. “Everything changes. I turn my back for five minutes and my childless, water-hating friend has a child and is living by the water. And in love.”
“Not just living by the water. I’ve learned to swim.”
Knowing her friend’s phobia of the water and the reasons for it, Brittany choked on her drink. “You went into the water voluntarily?”
“Ryan taught me. I don’t love it, but I don’t panic. And talking of panic—” Emily helped herself to a tiny piece of muffin. “You didn’t know Zach would be flying you today?”
“No. The whole thing was arranged by a friend.” Brittany lowered her drink. “Do we know why he’s here?”
“Zach? No. Ryan hadn’t heard from him in a while and then suddenly he showed up at the Ocean Club a couple of months ago. He owns his own plane and he hires himself out for megabucks which, Ryan says, basically means he gets paid a year’s salary for doing a week’s work.”
“Sounds like Zach.”
Emily hesitated. “He isn’t entirely mercenary. When Lizzy was sick and needed to go to the hospital on the mainland, he was the one who flew me. No one else would do it because the weather was so wild. It was scary and he was—”
“Reckless?”
“I was going to say brave. And skilled.” Emily sent her an awkward glance. “I felt disloyal getting in the plane with him.”
“No need. It was a long time ago. I don’t have any feelings for him.” At least, none she was going to admit to. “And if Lizzy was sick, he should have flown you for free.”
“He did.”
“Oh.” That news jarred with the negative images she was nurturing in her mind. “Well, that’s—great. Doesn’t sound like Zach, but I still think it’s great.”
“I guess he charges so much the rest of the time he can afford to be generous occasionally.”
“The second part of that sentence doesn’t sound like him at all.”
The Zach she’d known hadn’t wanted to give anything to a society who had given him nothing.
“I’ve heard that sometimes he’ll fly for Maine Island Air if they’re overbooked. That’s why he flew Sky that day. It depends on his mood.”
“Now that does sound like him. A moody opportunist.” Keeping her voice casual, Brittany stood up. “I’m grateful for the ride, but now you need to get back to Ryan and Lizzy.” And stop talking about Zach.
“I’ll stay and help. It isn’t going to be easy with your wrist in a cast.”
“No. I want you to go and have wild monkey sex and make up for all those years you were stuck with boring Neil.”
“I’m getting that you didn’t like Neil.”
“He wasn’t right for you.” Brittany started to help Emily unpack the last of the shopping, but with one hand it wasn’t easy. “Let me pay you. My wallet is in my backpack.” She glanced across the bags towards her case. “Must still be in your car.”
“I don’t want your money, but I don’t think your backpack is in my car. Are you sure you brought it with you?”
“I had it with me on the flight over. I was so damn desperate to get away from Zach I must have left it on the plane. Crap. It has everything. My passport and my purse. Which means I have no money.” Annoyed, Brittany paced across the kitchen. “How could I have been so careless?”
“You’re tired, in pain and you met your ex-husband for the first time in years. I’d say you had reason to be dist
racted. I’ll fetch it.”
“You’ve done enough. I’ll sort it out tomorrow.”
“What if he brings it over?”
The thought unnerved her more than she wanted it to. “He won’t. He’ll probably hand the bag to Ryan.”
“How did he react when he saw you were his passenger?”
“He didn’t, but Zach isn’t exactly big on showing his feelings.” And she’d wanted him to. Once upon a time, she’d wanted him to say those three little words. How many nights had she spent waiting, hoping? “Probably because he didn’t feel anything.”
“I don’t believe that.” Emily looked worried. “I don’t want to leave you on your own.”
“I’m fine.” Her smile was bright, swift and totally false. “It was a bit of a shock seeing him, but only because I haven’t thought about Zachary Flynn in years. Hearts heal. Bruised feelings heal. And in a way he did me a favor.”
“You mean by making your first time unforgettable?”
Brittany felt her whole body heat. “No, I do not mean that. I mean by walking out on me, leaving me free to take up my college place. Can you imagine what my life would have been if he hadn’t left me? I wouldn’t have done any of the things I’ve done. Thanks for the lift, Em, but now I need to go to bed and sleep off that journey.”
Emily gave her a long look. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”
“Are you kidding? The only time I cry is when I’m peeling onions and I can’t do that one-handed.”
“In that case I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emily picked up her purse and her keys. “Ryan is treating Lizzy to breakfast at the Ocean Club. Ten o’clock. Join us?”
Her wrist throbbed and her head throbbed. Worse still was the way she felt inside. Wounds, long covered, lay exposed and smarting. She felt weak and vulnerable and she hated feeling that way. “I’ll be sleeping.”
Emily refused to budge. “You won’t. You’ll be waking up early and grumpy with jet lag. We’ll fix that with coffee. I’ll drive over here just before ten.”