“Sar, most of the ones that deal in dreams can mess you up big time if you have a nightmare instead of a good dream—”
“Terian, it’s been months now. I can’t live like this any longer. I decide he’s gone and then something comes along. I’m so hopeful I can’t eat or sleep. I can’t live like this any longer without knowing.”
“Well, you’re going to have to,” Terian said seriously. “I can’t tell you if Theo is alive. Sorcery is imperfect.” He touched my hand with his. “I can’t tell you the future, Sar. If I could, I’d try to foresee mine.”
“Is there anything you could think of that would help me accept that?”
Terian paused and regarded me for a moment. “I can make you forget him.”
I visibly recoiled from his words. “No.”
“You want peace. The only way you’ll get it is by forgetting how much you still love him. You’re obsessing over him, instead of focusing on the life you have now.”
Terian was right, but I wasn’t ready to let go. “No, Terian,” I said softly. “As much as I hurt now, I can’t do that.” Some tears fell from my eyes, and I wiped them away. “I don’t want to forget him. I’m fighting not to...” I began crying.
Terian came and put his arms around me. “Shh,” he said, hugging me. “I won’t make you forget if you don’t want to.”
I dried my tears and quickly stepped away from him. “Thank you for listening. I’d better go.”
“Anytime,” he said, going back to his work.
* * * *
In the first weeks of December, I started teaching Elle to shoot. We began with my revolver and shortly worked up to the explosive bullet gun. She was strong enough to handle the recoil from the first, but her aim was off. I practiced with her every day for an hour until she could hit what she aimed at from twenty feet away. After that, we settled for weekly practice. Terian joined us most times, his proficiency also increasing as the days passed.
A kind of peace descended slowly. The life I had was a good one. Elle was a wonderful daughter. My dogs were happy and the cats were behaving, scratching only their cardboard scratch pads and not Danial’s furniture. Danial was all any woman could have wanted in a lover and partner. We worked well together, he loved Elle and his desires and wants were enough like mine we were both happy living together. He made time for us the way he hadn’t before, and I tried to give more of myself to him. I hadn’t realized I had held so much back, but it became apparent quickly.
A year before, I’d put up the tree with the werefoxes by day. This year, I, Elle and Danial put it up at night. As we three decorated the tree, I told Elle and Danial the story behind each ornament. The one I’d made in first grade from some poster paint and sparkles for my mother. The glass birds with hair for tails my mother had ordered for me when I’d been small. The ceramic ones I’d painted through the years―unicorns, birds, dragons, Pegasus, and cats. As was my tradition, we made Christmas spiders.
They both thought I’d gone crazy when I’d brought out glue, pompoms, pipe cleaners and sparkly string.
“Spiders, Mom?” Elle said skeptically. The look in Danial’s eyes mirrored hers.
“There’s a story behind it,” I said, pulling Elle into my lap as Danial sat down beside me. “A long time ago, in a little village, there was a poor family who couldn’t afford to celebrate Christmas. They cut down a tree from the forest, but they had no money for presents and certainly no money for decorations. They brought home the tree and put it in their home, but it made them sad because the branches were bare. They went to bed that night sad.”
“Spiders in the house heard and felt sorry for the people in whose home they lived. So, they decided to do what they could to help.” I had Elle’s attention now and Danial’s. “The spiders crept to the tree when the family was asleep and spun webs over it. They sparkled as only spider silk can sparkle. It was all the spiders had to give.”
“Then God looked down and saw what the spiders had attempted and he was moved such small creatures had spent the whole night working to ease the sadness of one poor family. God turned the spider webs to gold.
“In the morning, the family came down to see the most beautiful tree anyone had ever seen before.”
I had been working with my hands as I talked and had fashioned a black spider from pipe cleaners and a black pompom and a golden spider web from gold pipe cleaners and golden wire. Bending the spider’s legs to attach him to the web, I handed him to Elle. She took it, enthralled.
I wiped away a tear with the back of my hand discreetly. I was a sucker for happy endings.
Danial hugged me. “I enjoyed that,” he said, clearly moved. “Show us how you made it.”
Together, we each made a spider and hung it on the tree.
Later that night, as we lay in bed, Danial said softly “Thank you for including me in setting up the tree. I loved your story of the spiders. It made me remember the night I saw you save one.”
In that moment, I realized my thoughtlessness. Why was it always so hard for me to remember he had feelings just like mine? I’d set the tree up at night and not day because Elle had asked me to. It hadn’t occurred to me that Danial would have been looking forward to helping or that he’d have been hurt to wake and find it already up. Yet it had occurred to her.
“You’re upset,” he said, moving closer. “What’s wrong?”
“That was the night you asked for my oath,” I said without thinking.
“Yes, it was,” Danial said, drawing back a little. “I set a record for my pushiness.”
“You were very romantic and not pushy at all,” I said. “I’m glad you were there today with us.”
“What would you like for Christmas?” he said, changing the subject. “I want to get you something special.”
“No presents, please,” I said chidingly. “You give me too much already.”
“There must be something you want?” he said persistently.
“No.” The one thing I lacked now was not in his power to give me.
* * * *
Christmas Eve came. I drove a sullen Elle to my parent’s home. As soon as we went inside, I left Elle with my stepfather and took my mother aside.
“Listen,” I said. “In private, you can say anything you want about Danial to me. It’s your home, but don’t say anything in front of Elle, please.”
My mother glared at me. “Sarelle—” she began.
“Mom, do you want her to hate you?” I said bluntly.
My mother stopped, aghast.
“She loves Danial like a father, and she remembers all the things you said last time we were here. She didn’t want to come, Mom. Nothing I said could persuade her. It was Danial who told her she had to come, Danial who said he’d be disappointed in her if she didn’t.”
“Sar, men don’t change who they are,” my mother said sadly.
“Men act according to how they are treated. So do women,” I countered. “Please, for me, for Elle?”
She sighed, and we hugged one another. “Okay.”
Christmas dinner went well. Elle was polite, if a little detached.
Opening the gifts afterwards was fun. My parents had gotten me some bath stuff and some slippers. For Elle, they’d gotten a small flat screen TV. She’d been wanting one for her room. I’d had to stop Danial from buying it for her so there had been something she wanted she didn’t already have.
For me, my mother had made me a scrapbook of my baby pictures, and I’d made her a quilt of patchwork velvet. Elle had helped to piece it together, and Danial and Terian had even helped cutting out the squares. My mom was touched when I told her how we’d all worked together to make it for her. She ran her fingers over the velvet and finally smiled at me. As for my stepfather, Chris, Elle promised to go fishing with my stepfather, which pleased him more than the bottle of ten-year Lagavulin I’d gotten for him.
Driving home, Elle was silent. I didn’t push her, deciding she would talk when she was ready. She ha
d hugged my parents goodbye, though she was clearly ill at ease hugging my mother. It was a good beginning.
Danial was downstairs feeding when I got back. Elle went to her room to put away her presents. I got a glass of wine and sat down with Cavity in my lap.
“You’ve gained weight at Danial’s,” I scolded. “You’re cutting off my circulation. No more treats.”
Terian came in and sat down across from me. “How did it go Sar?” he said apprehensively.
“Really good, actually,” I said. “We made peace, if not amends.”
“I’m glad,” he said, touching my hand with his. “I know you were worried.”
“I have something for you,” I said, moving Cavity off my lap and rising. I handed him a package from under the tree.
“I have something for you, too,” he said sincerely.
“You first,” I said, grinning at him. “Open it.”
Terian opened the package to reveal a cape with a sparkly brass colored pattern of moons and stars on a dark brown background, lined in brown satin.
“Try it on.”
As I’d hoped, it fit him perfectly, falling to just above his boots. The brass color brought out the cherry wood color of his eyes. He quickly went to look in the hall mirror with me following.
“This looks great.” He put up the hood. “It fits perfectly.”
That was a relief. There had been no way to get his measurements without giving it away so I had to guess. Lucky for me, he was not much different from Danial in build and height.
“Sar, I love it,” he said joyfully. “Thank you.” He hugged me and then looked again in the mirror.
“Every sorcerer should have a cape,” I said knowingly.
“And every wish in your heart should be granted.” He took my hand and placed a vial from his pocket into it.
I remembered the last time I’d drunk from a vial like this. I held it as if it contained a deadly plague. “What’s in there?”
“You said you didn’t want to forget,” Terian said. “I can’t bring Theo back to you, Sar, but I can help you remember him.”
I eased myself down onto the stone bench, before I fell down. “What are you saying, Terian. What will this do to me?”
“You’ll relive the dream Theo and you shared. It won’t be any different, just a replay of what you dreamed last time. However, it will be as real as it was last time you dreamed it.”
To feel Theo again with me, loving me…I closed my eyes. If Terian had not been with me, I’d have downed it immediately. As it was, my hand brought it involuntarily to my lips.
Terian saw the look on my face and grabbed my hand. “No, not tonight. Save this until you can’t remember the dream clearly anymore, until your memories of Theo are almost gone. I can’t do this for you again, not ever. This will use up the last of the bond between you and Theo, and he’s not here to renew it with you.”
“What are you saying?”
“When the dream is done a second time, it will start to fade immediately like a normal dream does. You may even wake up without remembering,” he finished sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said finally, wiping away tears. “Thank you, Terian.” I hugged him.
He moved back. “Have a good night. Thanks again for my cape. It should be a big hit.”
“Where are you off to?”.
“The werefoxes are throwing a party,” he said. “See you tomorrow.”
I bid him farewell with a smile, happy he wasn’t alone and he had friends expecting him tonight.
There was a noise from downstairs. I went to the window. Ivan was leading an unsteady brunette out the back door to a waiting car. Jealous, I wondered if Danial had given her a bonus for coming on Christmas Eve. I pushed away the unkind thought, telling myself sternly she deserved something extra for coming out here in the cold tonight of all nights.
I finished my wine quickly, got another glass of wine, and went into our bedroom. I didn’t want Danial to see Terian’s present. I’d have to explain what it was, and he didn’t need his feelings hurt again. I took the glass vial, wrapped it up, and put it in my sock drawer, cushioned safely. Then I took off my clothes, slipping into my robe. Terian was right; this night was for living, not remembering the dead.
Chapter Six
Danial came up the cellar steps a few moments later, the luster on his skin shining.
I gave him an appreciative smile. “You look very good.”
“Where is Elle?” he said, tilting his head, his eyes darkening with desire.
“In her room,” I said, patting the couch beside me. “Come sit.”
He came over and sat next to me, slipping his arm around me. I leaned into him. Together, we watched the tree twinkling, the lights blinking on and off. We were both remembering a year ago, when he and I had oathed to one another beside the tree, but we didn’t speak of it.
“How did it go with your parents?” he said tentatively.
“It went well,” I said, “considering my mom was herself.”
“Do you think she’ll ever like me?” he said, hopeful. “It was nice having family to visit the Christmas we went there together.”
“Give her time,” I assured him. “She’ll come around sooner or later.”
He held me and stroked my hair. “I hope it’s sooner than the next decade—”
A sharp knock sounded and we stared at each other. We weren’t expecting anyone. Hope rose in my heart as the same hope leapt into his face. We rushed to the door. Danial threw it open quickly. Erik and Van stood there, supporting a man in their arms.
It wasn’t Theo. My heart sank, my hopes dashed.
“Come in,” Danial said, ushering them inside. I shut it behind them and took their hats and coats, wondering why they needed them, as cold didn’t bother vampires very much.
“It’s beginning to sleet,” Erik said grumpily.
“Which I why we dressed up,” Van finished. “We’ll have a hell of a time getting home.”
“You may stay in my guesthouse if you wish,” Danial offered. “Now please tell us who this is.”
“His name is Nineva,” Erik answered. “He is the werelion held by the dog fighter for practice.”
I studied the battered African American man before me. He sat on the stone bench, clearly hurting. In spite of the sliced up face and many scars from old wounds, he looked to be only twenty-five or so. The wounds would have had to be very bad for them to have scarred and not immediately healed. Yet Nineva’s brown eyes were clear, as he gazed at me with something close to recognition.
“You must be the one called Sar?” he said. “May I have some water?”
A tremor went through me. No one outside of my friends and family knew I liked to be called that,. Well, Devlin too, who was neither. “How do you know that?”
“He has a story to tell you,” Van said. “Let’s all sit.”
They went into the great room and sat down. I brought Nineva a glass of water, and he drank it all. Then I sat beside Danial as Nineva began his tale.
“I was vacationing in Europe with a friend, a woman called Fay. We had been childhood friends, and we’d always wanted to see Paris. After we’d saved up the money, we finally booked a trip. On the second night of our stay, while we were out at a club, we were taken.”
“Taken by whom?” Danial asked.
“We didn’t know, at first,” Nineva said. “The last thing I remember about the night was drinking and dancing. I guess someone slipped something in our drinks. We woke up in chains, in separate but adjoining cages.”
Danial’s arm tightened around me, pulling me closer to him. I took a deep breath as Nineva continued. “A man came. He was not were or vampire, but he had an aura of power around him, at least one I felt. He said his name was Gene. He asked us what animals we were. When we refused to answer him, he shocked us until we changed form.”
I felt my stomach heave and closed my eyes. Danial was still as death next to me.
&nb
sp; “Once he knew what we were—lion and hyena—he arranged to sell us to the highest bidder. Unluckily for Fay, we were both purchased by the dog fighter. Fay didn’t last long. She was never very strong anyway, having had polio when she was young. They tore her to pieces.”
Nineva wept briefly, the tears sliding down his face. I got up and handed him a box of tissues, saying a silent prayer Elle stayed in her room for a while.
“I was always strong though,” he continued. “I fought well, and so I was valued and kept alive. After each fight, I was given a period of time, a few days usually, to regenerate, but I wasn’t given near enough meat for my body to fully heal. If your emissaries hadn’t rescued me, I’d have died in a few more weeks.”
I wanted to scream at him “What about Theo?” but remained silent.
Erik and Van looked at each other and rose. “We will leave now,” Van said, “We have already stayed too long. The night is waning.”
It had nothing to do with the storm. They were leaving because they knew Theo had died. My heart sank lower, if that was possible.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“I know the man he speaks of, Gene, and the dog fighter have been dealt with,” Erik added. “This sort of trafficking is abhorrent.”
“You’ll be paid in the usual fashion,” Danial said, rising to see them out. “I thank you again.”
They inclined their heads to him, nodded to me, and then left. Danial shut the door, took my hand, and led me back to Nineva. He was looking at the tree, a slight wavering smile on his face.
“I lost track of time,” he said, his voice cracking. “I didn’t know it was close to Christmas already.”
Danial sat down and pulled me down on his lap, holding me to him tightly. “Please, tell us what you were brought here to tell us. The entire thing, no matter what reaction we have.”
Nineva began speaking. “I had been there only a few hours when another man was brought in. He was dark blond, handsome, about twenty-five or so, dressed in denim. He had a partially healed gunshot wound to his arm, but was otherwise unharmed. His eyes were blue.”
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