I chalked up her overprotectiveness to her losing Theo as a baby and didn’t mention it to Danial. That was something I came to rue one day.
Chapter Eight
On the first of May, Danial came home after a late night meeting carrying a dozen red roses... I had been reading on the couch with Jessica and Cavity, waiting for him. Elle was in bed, long since asleep. Danial had kissed her goodnight before heading out to his meeting
“For you,” Danial said with a smile. He handed the roses to me.
My face lit up. “Danial, they’re beautiful,” I said with unadulterated happiness. I smelled them, and they were fragrant, the way roses should be and most often were not.
“I wasn’t sure if you liked flowers,” he said hesitantly.
“I love flowers,” I said, giving him a wide smile and hurried to the kitchen to get them some water. “Especially roses.”
I arranged them in a large vase and put in the flower food packet. I stood back to admire them for a moment, then took them into our bedroom, and setting them on the nightstand. I knew if I left them out in the great room, Jessica or Cavity would knock them over by morning.
“You really like them that much?” Danial said happily, hugging me from behind.
“Yes,” I said, kissing him.
“Why have you never asked me for some?” he said, surprised.
“Because it means more to me you thought of them yourself.”
“That sounds nice, but it doesn’t sound like you,” Danial said, chuckling.
“Okay,” I admitted. “I thought it would be kind of tacky to ask you to bring me flowers. You give me so much already.”
He held me close. “It is because I am finally ready to give you something that I brought them for you, Sar.”
I went still at his words. Fear was sliding up my spine like ice water. “I’m ready,” I said quickly.
He held me closer to him. “You’re trembling.”
I was. There were tiny tremors all through my body. “I’m afraid,” I said honestly.
“About what happened last time?” he said.
“Yes. Also about not having it happen at all.” I swallowed hard, and turned to face him. “I’m no virgin, Danial, but this…I’ve never done this before.”
“Shh,” he said gently. He drew off my clothes slowly, carefully. Soon I was naked before him. I made as if to lie down, but he stopped me. I stood naked before him as he slid off his jeans and unbuttoned his shirt, watching me with his dark eyes growing steadily darker, drinking in the sight of me. Then he stood before me, naked, his body I knew so well.
“Come to me, Sar,” he said.
I went to him, still trembling, even though I wanted him. Danial kissed me softly, moving closer to me so our bodies were pressed together. I felt he was ready to make love, but he didn’t hurry me. He just kissed me softly, his tongue tasting me, opening my mouth to him. He held me in his arms, but loosely, running his hands over my arms and my back.
I began to grow warm. He kissed my neck and then my breasts, squeezing me gently, rubbing me until I moaned. Then he reached down with his hand and slid his fingers inside me. I jerked against him, but he held me still, his arm tightening around me, still kissing me. His kisses were more insistent now, deeper, his tongue drawing mine into his mouth. He pushed me gently down on the bed and rested his body on mine, still kissing me, still touching me.
I wanted him badly, but still he didn’t move from where he was.
The more he kissed me, the more aroused I became. Soon, I was panting, straining against his arms holding me down. Then, in an instant, he stopped holding me down and moved onto me, easing himself inside. My back arched against him, and he began to move, slowly. He was so warm.
I groaned, and he kissed me again. He was slow and tender, taking his time. I slowly felt the orgasm build, until it broke over me in a wave. I cried out and clutched him to me, thrusting up to take him all in. He held me tightly until the feeling faded and then started moving inside me again. I writhed under him and soon, I came again. He again held still, and when I’d finished, he’d resume his gentle movement.
I hadn’t known Danial could do this repeatedly. Yet as much as I liked it, it was too gentle. I wanted more. I wanted him to take me utterly.
I kissed him hard, sliding my tongue deep inside his mouth. The dam he’d been holding back burst. He thrust faster, and I threw my head back, expecting him to bite me. He did, but just gently, as a human lover would. I felt his fangs in his kiss, but he didn’t use them. Then he was crying out his release. He lay there, still inside me, breathing hard. I kissed him with passion, and he kissed me back with enough love to make me swoon a little.
“That was wonderful,” I said, touching his face gently. “You were amazing—”
“I’m not done with you,” he said, grinning above me. I jerked, feeling him flex inside me.
I looked at him in shock. “Terian gave you something,” I said with a knowing look.
He gave me a sly smile. “Maybe,” he said with a kiss. Then he started moving again, and I lost myself in the sensation.
Danial made love to me for a solid two hours. After, we lay exhausted in each other’s arms. There was no maybe; Terian had given him something. He’d never been able to do this before. I’d have to thank Terian profusely the next time I saw him.
“Do you think we did it?” I said in a small voice, resting next to him.
“I’d be surprised if we did,” he said gently. “It might take months, years even.”
I looked at him, considering.
“Will that be a problem?” he said, looking at me with lowered eyes.
“Not for me,” I said to him in a low voice and drew him down for another kiss.
* * * *
The spring passed quickly. I asked Danial if he would move back into my house with Elle and me for the summer, at least for this one. He said he would, though some of the foxes would have to come with us, and he didn’t know if he would want to every year. I said that was understandable, but I wanted to try it, to see how it would be.
It was a disaster from the start. Suri and Demetri had stayed there the last winter and kept the pipes from freezing and the fire burning. Still, everything needed a thorough cleaning, and there were some repairs to be made. That took me a week with Elle’s grudging help. She hated housecleaning and repair, though she enjoyed the break from her schooling. After that, I had Ivan till the garden for me, and I put in some vegetable plants. Elle, like Theo before her, was amazed something so small could become the vegetables she was not overly fond of eating. To make matters worse, just as the plants were sprouting, rabbits got in through a hole in the garden fence and ate the tops off everything. We had to re-till and replant.
“So much for our cats,” Danial said that night as we relaxed on my deck.
“Cavity and Jessica are getting too old to chase rabbits,” I said defensively. “Anyway, we should be all set now. I fixed the fence, and Ivan did the hard work. Elle helped me replant.”
“I’m all set up in the basement,” Danial agreed, slipping his arm around me.
“I’ll help with the email tomorrow,” I said quickly.
“Enjoy yourself,” Danial encouraged. “You’re supposed to be relaxing a little.”
“Is Terian coming by later?”
“Yes. I’ll be leaving with him for overnights most weeks, but nothing will keep us away longer than that.”
“I’ll be fine here,” I assured him. “I’m sure Alphonse realized he targeted the wrong girl. I’m just upset for her, whoever she is.”
“I’m inclined to agree, but I’m still not leaving you alone overnight or all day without one of us until a few more months have passed,” Danial retorted and smiled. “No arguments. You’d think you didn’t want me around.”
“That’s not it,” I said grumpily. “I just feel like there’s so much to do and not enough time.”
“If you need help, just ask the foxes, Sar. Th
ey’d be glad to help you most days.”
“I just have too many interests,” I said, shrugging.
“You’re upset about your sewing stuff being left behind,” Danial said suddenly.
“No,” I said reluctantly, “but Elle’s upset she’s in the old sewing room, because it’s so much smaller than her room at your house.”
“I wish you’d call it our house,” Danial said softly. “I understand. You wanted her to enjoy being here. She’s resisting that and missing home instead.”
“I wanted us to be happy.”
“We are,” Danial assured me. “I’ve got my business office downstairs, and you’ve put up the blackout curtains in your old bedroom behind the forest ones. I’m content.”
I didn’t reply. My thoughts were in turmoil. It had been hard at first; waking up with Danial in the bed I’d shared with Theo. I’d felt sad and cheated, thinking about how little time we’d had.
Danial nuzzled me. “I don’t want you to work so hard. You’ll need to take it easy if you conceive.”
My angst rose a notch. Despite Danial and I trying now almost every night for months, I was still not pregnant. I’d worried when I’d asked Danial about having a baby that it had been too soon. I’d worried I wasn’t ready. Now I was glad I hadn’t waited. I’d turn thirty-two this summer. Danial had been right. It might take us years.
“Don’t be upset,” he murmured, hugging me. “I’m a patient man, Sar. I’ve patience enough for both of us.”
“I’m okay,” I said finally. “I’ve been focusing on the bad things, but there are a lot of good things, too. All the bulbs I planted last spring came up.”
Danial didn’t reply.
“Does it bother you to mention that time in my life?” I asked quietly. “We never have, since I decided to come live with you.”
“I am not bothered, just sad,” Danial said, releasing me. “I’m in love with you and was then. He was my best friend. The reality is I had to lose him to gain you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
“Let’s not speak of it for now,” Danial said, taking my hand. “Come inside. It’s late.”
* * * *
Weeks passed and spring became summer.
I spent a lot of time with Elle, teaching her skills. I made her help with the firewood, and she fought me every step of the way. She looked about eight now. Though Danial and I had forbidden her to change outside while we lived at my house, I suspected she slept in cougar form whenever she could. She was aging much too fast for a regular child. She had outgrown all her clothes at least twice already, and Danial had bought her all new clothes each time. With her new growth came a disdainful attitude.
“I hate this. I don’t understand why I have to do it. Why don’t the people living here in winter do it?”
“We don’t need other people doing work we’re capable of doing ourselves,” I said firmly. “I want you to know how to do the skills I’m teaching you, like felling trees or operating the machinery here. You won’t have to do it next summer if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t mind the work. I don’t like getting dirty.”
I remembered Theo’s irritation at getting dirty and laughed. “Let’s have you practice driving the tractor into the barn and then quit for today.”
Elle started the tractor fine, put it into gear, and slowly drove toward the barn with me walking behind. Just as she went to turn in, she forgot the front-end loader’s length and didn’t give the door enough clearance. With a squeal of metal, the loader ripped off part of the barn’s steel sliding door, breaking off a two by four in the process, and cracking several more.
Elle slammed on the brake and then scrabbled with the gear, putting it into park. She looked at me and burst into tears.
Looking at the damage, I was annoyed with her. If she’d been paying attention, she’d have done fine. We now had an hour’s work in front of us. Elle already knew that, and yelling wouldn’t put the door back together again.
“Stop crying,” I said loudly over the diesel engine, climbing up beside her and hugging her. “It’s okay.”
“I broke it,” she cried.
“I can see that. The important thing is not to panic. Cry if you have to, until you can calm down long enough to understand what to do,” I said, calm and reassuring.
She looked at me with surprise, then wiped her tears away. “I’m calm,” she said, taking a deep breath. “What do we do?”
“You and I will hammer the two by four back together and put in some extra screws. It will work fine in no time. C’mon.”
I backed the tractor up out of the way, and we got to work. It didn’t take long to fix the door with Elle’s strength and mine. The sun was almost down when we finished.
Elle smiled in relief as we put the tools back. “I’m glad we fixed it. I’m ready to go in.”
“You need to park the tractor first, Elle,” I said gently.
“No,” she said quickly. “I don’t want to drive it anymore.”
“Elle,” I said sternly and firmly. “You can do this. Get back on the tractor and do it.”
“What if I hit the door again?” she said worriedly as she bit her lip, tears threatening in her eyes.
“This time be careful and give the loader a little more clearance,” I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Remember, you’ve already hit the door. That’s the worst that could happen, and it’s already happened.” Technically, there were worse things, but I was trying to make a point. “The world didn’t end. I’m not angry with you. We fixed what was broken.”
She looked at me, a glimmer of understanding in her eyes. “It can’t be worse than it was.”
I nodded. “You don’t have to be afraid—”
“Because the worst has happened, and I’m okay,” she finished.
“You got it,” I said encouragingly, hugging her. “Now get up there.”
Elle got back on the tractor and this time she parked it right.
“Perfect. Let’s go in,” I said.
Following her inside, my eyes glanced at the fireplace mantle. I’d brought the carved cougar with me, and it was back in its place there, looking out and down from its rocky perch.
“Go get cleaned up for dinner,” I said absently to Elle.
After she went to her room, I sat on the couch, taking a clandestine moment. I was getting to where I was able to remember Theo these days and not be sad. He’d been so wonderful. He’d made me so happy, made me feel so loved.
The basement door opened. “Sar, are you done for the day? Would you and Elle like to take a walk as soon as the sun sets? We could bring Ghost and Darkness.”
Danial made me feel just as loved. He was trying his damnedest to make me happy. I put Theo from my mind.
“Yes,” I called back, getting to my feet. “That sounds wonderful.”
* * * *
Summer passed, as July became August. To celebrate our birthdays, Danial planned an expensive dinner out followed by a marathon shopping spree at a nearby mall. Though I appreciated his largesse and was looking forward to it, I wanted to do something simpler for Elle and myself, something just for us. So that afternoon, before beginning more work, I took her down to get an ice cream to celebrate.
As we waited for our order, I heard my name from behind me. It was my neighbor, Ken.
“Hi, Sar,” he said, patting me on the arm. “I’ll take three dishes of vanilla, please.”
“Ken,” I said excitedly. “I haven’t seen you for months.” I gave him a hug.
“Not since meeting your fella,” he said jovially. “How’re you doing?”
He’d met Theo one day back last summer. Not wanting to go into all that, I just nodded. “I’m doing good. This is Elle, Theo’s daughter. Elle, this is our neighbor, Ken.”
Elle glared at him. Ken smiled at her, then visibly recoiled at her open hostility.
“I didn’t know Theo had children.”
“Theo met Elle’s mo
ther in Europe,” I said quickly. “She lives with me now. I’m sorry to tell you Theo’s dead.”
“I’m sorry,” Ken said, nodding. “He was a good man.”
“I’ve got a father,” Elle said defiantly. “Danial is good to Mom.”
“I’m happy for you,” Ken said uncomfortably to me, glancing at Elle. “No one should be alone. I’m dating a widow myself. Grandma Flora introduced us right before she died.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” I said earnestly. “I miss Flora very much. I wish she’d lived to see me happy again and to meet Danial and Elle. She had a huge effect on my life.”
“We’re happy,” Elle said flatly, a trace of growl in her voice. “Danial, Mom, and me.”
“I’m here getting my dogs some ice cream,” Ken said uncomfortably again. “I’d better go, before it melts.” He collected his trays from the counter. “See you later, Sar.”
“You had no right to be so nasty to him,” I admonished Elle.
I got our ice cream, and we left, Elle giving Ken one last look of hostility. She didn’t speak on the drive home, as we ate our cones.
“Mom, why did you hug that man?” Elle said suddenly, as we pulled into our driveway.
“Ken?” I said, eating the last of mine. “He’s a friend, and I hadn’t seen him in a long time. His grandmother was a dear friend—”
“Won’t that make Danial jealous, like before?” she said, glaring at me.
Whoa there. “Elle, Ken is a friend. Danial knows there is nothing between Ken and me. He is not going to be jealous.”
“Maybe that’s what he thought about Theo until you left with him,” she said.
I was shocked, to put it mildly. “Elle, that’s enough.”
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