He saw a head resting on the snow. He moved forward quickly and startled her. She let out a cry of fear and pain.
The look in her eyes made him catch his breath. They were full of fright, hopelessness, and pain. Her once vibrant hazel eyes were a dull and listless brown.
He fell to his knees.
“Gavin?” she said, her voice thick and trembling. She saw his glowing eyes, but hadn’t Alistair said he’d killed him? Had she fallen asleep? Died?
“Aye, my sweeting,” he said approaching her slowly. “I’m here.”
She began to sob. “Nay! I’ve died and ye’re here in Heaven. ‘Tis so white around me.” She was trembling violently. Her hair was wet as if water had been poured on her. Her beautiful blush-colored lips were tinged with blue.
“The moment of wait has come,
Cold as ever in day,
Without help, save for one,
On the snow she lay.”
Tears came to his eyes as he realized that she was barely lucid. He steeled himself against the onslaught of his emotions. She needed him now more than ever and he needed to focus.
“Sweeting, ye arena in Heaven and neither am I. Ye are in the snow and were on yer way to Meghan.”
“Meghan?” she asked, and grimaced as another pain rocked her. Gavin marveled at her ability to keep quiet. His abdomen was throbbing painfully, but the pain was not as bad as she was obviously experiencing. “She left Gabriel and I wanted to stop her. ‘Tis dangerous for a woman in our condition to travel.”
“I know it and if ye knew it, why didna ye follow yer own advice? Why did ye leave the safety of the castle?”
“I couldna let her travel alone,” she whispered and tightened her fist as another heavy pain came.
“Why arena ye screaming as most women do?”
“Alistair. I heard him. He’s here,” she said, panic replacing the fear in her eyes.
“I need to get ye home, Andie. I will carry ye.”
“Nay,” she whispered painfully as he stood and went to pick her up. “Ye canna, Gavin.”
“Why nay?”
She lifted her dress and he saw the blood on the snow. He fell onto his knees again, fear taking hold of him.
“I canna be moved. The snow helps the blood flow to stop. If ye move me, Gavin, I may bleed to death before I reach home.”
His breath caught. He closed his eyes briefly, exhaling. What would he do?
He wasn’t left wondering for very long for she gripped his forearm in such tight restraint, he knew what she was going to say before she said it.
“The bairn comes, Gavin,” she said through a clenched jaw. “I am so glad I’ll nay have to try and do this myself!” she sobbed.
He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. “Look at me, my love,” he whispered. Her lack-luster, tired eyes met his. “Ye willna do this alone. I will be here and once the bairn is born, I will carry ye back. If I have to run home, I will.”
She gave him a smile, but it faltered when another pain hit. “Keep an ear for him, Gavin.”
He nodded, not able to trust his voice to respond verbally. He didn’t know what to do. He looked down at her and saw the red in the snow deepen in hue. What would he do?
Intuitively knowing his thoughts, she said, “Help me bare my bottom, Gavin. Then place plaid beneath me. Pile the snow firmly behind me so that I may sit up more easily.” She continued to tell him what to do between contractions and he followed her instructions.
“Ye need a verra clean blade, Gavin. Ye must cut the cord with it.”
“I doona have a clean one.”
“Ye must either burn the blade for a couple of moments or use strong spirits to wash it.”
“The weather is nay good for a fire. I’ll go to my warhorse. I have spirits there.”
Andie nodded and he hurried to complete the task. After only a moment away, she signaled for him as she gritted her teeth. “The bairn comes!” she said panicking. She brought her knees up and spread her thighs. She began letting out short breaths.
Gavin felt a multitude of emotions all at once, beginning with fear, continuing with awe, and ending in panic.
When he saw the blood and crown of a baby’s head, he nearly fell backwards.
A mixture of worry and wonder assaulted him and overwhelmed him. Andie’s heavy, but nearly-silent breathing brought him out of his state of shock.
“Push, Andie. The bairn comes,” he whispered. “Shout if ye need to.”
She shook her head. “Nay. He’ll…hear…” She grimaced, showing her white teeth. Her breathing was short and her forehead glittered with sweat. She gripped his forearms and pushed with all her might as she had seen Greida force the women to do.
Gavin saw the blood ooze out. Fear gnawed at him and he pushed it aside, focusing on her and the bairn.
“That’s it, Andie. Come on, my love,” he coached.
She inhaled deeply and pushed. Her face turned beet red.
“The head is out!” he said excitedly. “Come on, Andie. Ye can do this, my love.”
She whimpered, looking hopeless and tired. Tears came to her eyes again, and mingled with the sweat.
Gavin looked at her, not believing this moment was finally here. His wife looked tired and pale, despite her red face. Her lips were bluish, and she shook from the cold and the pain. He was so proud of her, and at that moment, the love that filled him was so intense, he could barely breath.
“I love ye, Andie,” he said, his voice trembling. “I’m so proud of ye.”
“Love…ye…” she gritted and pushed again. Five more pushes and the baby popped out, along with a large flow of blood.
The baby’s cries resounded loudly and both parents smiled.
“What is it, Gavin?” she asked weakly.
He looked at the bairn and choked out, “A boy.” He looked at her brokenly and saw her smile. The smile could have lit up the sky in the darkest of nights. Her smile was so magnificent, the breeze stopped around them. He cut the cord as she had told him to do before.
“His cries are hearty and hale,” she said, weakly dropping back on the snow that had been piled behind her.
Worried, he asked frantically, “Andie?”
“Aye,” she sighed, loving that she had birthed the baby at last. “Wrap him tightly in plaid, Gavin,” she whispered.
He did as he was told and took a moment to stare down at his son. He was a very large bairn, both in weight and length. He looked healthy once Gavin had wiped him. He had a full head of dark, black hair.
Just like Gavin’s own.
His son was still crying with his eyes closed. What if there were enemies around them? The baby’s cries would draw them near. Andie was too tired to care for the bairn if he had to fight someone. It sobered him to think that he had two to care for now, and three with Riley, once they reached home.
“Shhh,” he said, rocking the baby gently.
Andie watched her husband and son as warmth from their love showered over her. She grimaced in pain, though. Greida had said that the afterbirth would pass, but was it supposed to be this painful? She gritted her teeth, keeping quiet- both for the sake of enemies and her husband’s worry.
The baby began opening his eyes, weakly and gradually. Gavin was surprised that he was trying to already. Unknowingly to him, Andie began panting again. The pain was too much to bear! She gritted her teeth, refusing to let out the howl of anguish that wanted to be released. Though hurting as she was, she was thankful that the pain helped in her struggle to remain conscious.
Gavin was focused on his son, who was still crying with barely opened eyes. After a couple of minutes, the baby’s gaze landed on his father’s astonished and glowing eyes. Their son quieted suddenly as his eyes locked onto his father’s.
His son’s eyes glowed suddenly and Gavin stopped breathing.
“The laird holds his son in his embrace,
The bairn’s mouth opens wide in cries,
Anguish and wond
er on the laird’s face,
When the crying bairn looks into his father’s eyes.”
Everything went quiet around him. His son stared at him unmoving. Panic flooded Gavin. Panic and anguish. Then everything happened in slow motion.
Gavin was still looking down at their son when an ear-splitting cry tore from Andie and pierced the cold. He focused wide and horrified eyes from his son to Andie, and closed his then. His worst fear was coming true.
“Stillness and quiet deafen the air,
Two pairs of eyes meet each other’s, aglow,
Mother pale, in more pain to bear,
Writhing, dying on the snow.”
Chapter Twenty
“Andie?” he asked in the barest of whispers.
Her panting and moaning were her only sounds. She was still in pain. Her lips were brushed with blue and her face was red. More importantly, however, was the reddening snow around her from the loss of blood that had soaked through the plaid.
He opened his eyes and saw Andie had her legs up again and was pushing.
“Dinna push, Andie!” he said in alarmed. “That canna be good!”
She was panting still. “I…must…Gavin.” She clenched her teeth.
“But ye’ll lose too much blood!” He was in a panic.
Andie was sweating profusely and the urge to push was too strong. “I…canna…stop……it…hurts,” she whined. She gasped for air, pushing more strongly. “After…birth…” she said to him and he nodded.
Gavin settled the baby in the crook of his left arm and gave Andie his right. “Hold on to me.” She did, tightly, so tightly that her nails were drawing his blood.
He looked down and his mouth opened in surprise.
He saw the crown of another baby’s head.
“Lord above,” he whispered.
“What?” she asked, panting and growing weaker with every push.
“Andie, ‘tis another bairn.”
Her eyes opened wide and another cramp weakened her. She moaned, still holding onto Gavin. Her tears washed down her cheeks.
“I will give him to ye now, Andie. I will rest him on yer belly. I canna rest him on the snow,” he said, controlling his voice. “Be mindful,” he said and at her nod, he rested their son on her. Looking at his son lying on her abdomen, Gavin wondered how he had ever fit into his mother.
“Alright, Andie. Push,” he encouraged.
After some time had elapsed, her fatigue became alarmingly clear to Gavin.
“I’m…so…tired…Gavin…” she groaned and pushed. A while had already passed and she was no closer to pushing the baby out. He couldn’t give into the panic he felt at that moment. He needed to be her strength.
“Ye’re so brave, Andie. So strong,” he said, stopping when his voice grew thick with emotion. “I love ye so verra much. Riley, and now our son, they love ye, too. Ye can do this, my love. My heart.”
Her eyes looked into his glowing ones and she pushed one last time. The baby came out and he held it gently. The cries that sounded made Andie cry and Gavin catch his breath. He had a difficult time breathing, still overcome from the incredible experience he and Andie had just shared.
Andie sobbed quietly, too weak now to make any noise or movement. She watched Gavin stare wonderously at their second bairn.
“What is it?” she whispered faintly.
“A girl,” he said tremulously, looking at Andie through gathering tears that he quickly blinked away. She gasped and gave a frail smile.
His beloved Andie was shaking, still wet from her own sweat and from the fallen snow. Her lips were still bluish and her face, now that she was passed her exertion, was ashen and pale. Her breathing was shallow.
If he didn’t get her back soon, he knew she would die. He almost roared in grief as he came to that realization.
“A girl,” she said tenderly.
Gavin looked at their daughter. She was the very opposite of her twin brother. She was petite and delicate, but still had a head of hair- light colored hair. Her eyes were closed, but her lungs, like that of her brother’s, were hale and strong judging by her cries. Her small arms flailed in irritation at being cold. He quickly wrapped her tightly. She slowly quieted and he was grateful because he didn’t want two crying babies leading enemies to them.
“He must have crushed her in there, but knowing that she’s her mother’s daughter, she pushed and fought back,” he said, laughing and smiling tenderly at his daughter and wife. “No wonder ye felt so many kicks and flips in yer belly. They were fighting in there.”
Andie laughed softly, though it took great effort and caused much pain. Andie looked at her son on her belly and then to her daughter in Gavin’s arms. More tears came to her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Her energy was rapidly waning.
She knew then that she was dying.
Andie felt numbness on the lower half of her body. She didn’t know if that was from the snow or the birth. A brief look showed her the blood that she’d lost. That explained why her head was buzzing and why she had weakened drastically. Her eyes wanted to close but she had something left to do before she gave in.
“Gavin…” she whispered to him and his glowing eyes met hers.
“Rest, my love. Do not expend yer energy,” she heard the fear and anxiety in his voice.
She gave him a comforting smile as her eyes slowly caressed his face. “I am dying,” she said brokenly. She silently chided herself. Damn it, he needed her to be strong. She couldn’t leave him like this. He deserved to have peace of mind while she passed on.
“Doona say that,” he whispered gruffly. “Ye willna die, Andie! I willna let ye.”
“Shhh, my love. I am. Ye must…come to terms with that. ‘Tis good…that I have all of ye here…with me. Riley isna…but ‘tis better that way…he would be so…hurt. Irreparably. His heart would be broken…if he saw me…this way.”
“Nay, Andie,” he said, gripping his daughter more closely to him so that she could take his heat. The fact that both bairns had quieted so soon after their births alarmed him. ‘Twas the cold they weren’t used to. They no longer had their mother’s warmth from her womb.
“We must name them,” she said, a bit stronger. She lovingly passed her hand over her son’s head. She took the plaid covering her and draped it over him for added warmth. Gavin protested but she shook her head. She shuddered with cold. “He needs it more than I.”
Gavin looked at the ground in desperation. Her blood was everywhere- on the bairns, on the snow, on himself. He had his horse that he had tied by a tree, and he hoped that the horse was still alive and mobile.
“I have the horse tethered. I will leave ye with both bairns quickly, and bring the horse. I will place ye up and hand ye our daughter, then mount behind ye with our son.”
“They are… more…important, Gavin. Ye canna delay because of me. I…will die anyway,” she responded, looking at him gently. “It’s alright, my love. I am glad…to have given ye…bairns.”
“Doona ye give up, Andie Maitland. Damn it,” he whispered fiercely. “Do it for the bairns, for Riley…for me.”
She looked at him, though it took effort because of the lack of strength to hold her neck up. If it would give him peace, aye, she would allow him this small token. She nodded.
“Good.”
He laid their daughter on her chest, next to their sleeping son. He quickly went to the horse, and was relieved that he was still active. Gavin led his warhorse over to his family and tethered him on another tree.
Walking over to his wife and babies, his throat closed on him. He gave a quick prayer, hoping that the Lord would save his family. Spare them, he silently said. Take me, he said brokenly. Take me any way ye want. Bare me to cold without slightest warmth, bare me to the sun without water- just help me save them and take me.
He looked at Andie and saw her eyes closing. Again, the panic flooded him and he shook it away, knowing it didn’t do any of them any good. He would save her even if he had to mak
e a pact with the devil.
He wanted to howl in fear, bellow in anguish. How dare this happen to her, to them. All his life he never thought to have a woman like her- never thought that one existed. Now that he’d found her, and his heart along with her, he was going to lose her. The despondency that wanted to take him over made him pause without breath.
If he lost her, what would he do?
He walked somberly to her, his limbs heavy and fatigued from stress. Never had he felt like this, even after a battle. He supposed, though, that when you faced the possibility of losing the most precious gift in your life, the situation did things to a body. His head was pounding- the Dark Wolf’s instincts were prickly and heightened, causing an overwhelming energy to flow through him. Fear energized him while grief aimed to take that away.
“I will pick ye up, Andie. I will set our son on the satchel on the ground for a brief moment.”
He did as he said and picked Andie up. When he had lifted her an inch above the snow, she let out a cry of pain. “Put me…down…Gavin,” she said, weeping. “Pl-please,” she said, shakily. Even her lips trembled.
He set her back gently and hurried to pick his son up. He brought him close and offered his body heat. His son opened his eyes then, again, and he saw them flicker with glow.
God, how the Fates were cruel.
“We…must…name them…” she said, her breathing calming, but still shallow.
“What-” he cleared his throat, “What would ye like to name them?”
A tear escaped her eye. “Would it be…alright…to name him… Andrew?”
He flashed her a genuine smile, even though at that point, he would have promised a star if she’d asked for one.
“‘Tis fitting, my love. Andrew Maitland. At last, yer father will have his namesake.” At a quirk of her eyebrow, he smiled and added, “A male namesake.”
She laughed softly and she grimaced in pain. “And…our daughter?” she asked.
“Maggie,” he said and then amended. “Margaret.”
Her eyes rounded with surprise. “After my mother? Ye would do that for me?”
The lump in his throat would not be swallowed. His eyes watered and a tear escaped its confinement. “I would do anything for ye,” he whispered in pain. “Anything. Ye are my life,” he closed his eyes as grief flooded him. How much longer did she have left, he thought in distress.
To Have and to Trust (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 1) Page 30