by Aliya DalRae
“Fuck!” he cried, kicking out at his twin. “Son of a bitch!”
“Are you calm now, brother?”
Raven growled but nodded.
“Good. Can I assume you’ve reconsidered and are here to help Jessica?”
“I’m here to make sure you keep your fucking hands off her.” Raven snarled, flashing a healthy bit of lethal fang.
“Then you will finish with the feeding?”
Raven’s eyes rolled back in his head, but then searched sideways until the girl in the bed came into focus. The moment he saw her, something changed. The spark in his eyes dimmed to a violet swirl, and the tension that had dominated him since Thanksgiving eased.
“She’s really dying,” Raven said, watching as her still-fevered form tossed restlessly in the bed.
“Yes, brother, so you let me finish what I started, or you take over. Either way, she needs our blood, and she needs it now.”
Raven glanced at Nox’s wrist, at the slash surrounded by a perfect imprint of Jessica’s teeth. He thought about all they’d been through, Jessica and him. From the Sorcerers to the ferals, and the hell his brother’s actions had put them through. He thought about the time they had been apart because of misunderstandings, her lack of faith in him, and the ultimate betrayal when she’d turned to another man. And the baby.
The baby that no longer existed. The child that not only destroyed them but could now be responsible for her eternal destruction. Unless he helped, because there was no fucking way he would stand by and let his brother feed her again. Ever.
Using the bed to lever himself to his feet, Raven stood tall and looked down at the female who was accountable for every true emotion he’d ever felt. A tremor shook her fragile body and he made his decision. Ignoring Allon and his proffered scalpel, Raven bit into his wrist and pressed it firmly to her lips.
Chapter Forty-Three
T he dreams were strange. They started with me sitting at a table laden with food, delicacies like foie gras and caviar, and comfort foods like roast chicken and homemade macaroni and cheese. I sat at the head of the table, a glass of red wine in my hand, and I toasted the room.
“To blood!” I said, and cheers erupted from the shadowy figures surrounding the table.
“To blood!” someone shouted and glasses clinked as I took a long swallow from the glass. The wine was thick and spicy with coppery undertones, and it flowed smoothly down my throat. I drank greedily, swallowing in deep, steady intervals. The glass itself was perpetually full.
“Drink, love.” Nox was at the table now, watching me through hooded lids.
The crowd took up a chant of, “Drink, drink, drink, drink,” like a fraternity encouraging one of their brothers through a keg stand.
A hand from nowhere, attached to no one, crashed against the glass, knocking it from my grasp and shattering it against the wall. The wine went everywhere, splattering my face, my clothes, and pooling on the floor, the table.
I looked down to find I was sitting in a puddle of that thick, heady wine, my jeans saturated with the scarlet liquid, my hands painted in the stuff as it dripped from my fingers.
Before I could derive any meaning from this, another glass appeared in my hand, this one full of a similar wine. It was the same as the last in many respects, but with a slight difference. The shadowy figures at the table didn’t seem to notice anything, but to me this wine was—more. While both were delicious, this one had a note of something else, something familiar, that equated in my mind to love.
The first wine I drank with relish, as though it were a vintage I would never find again, but this new wine…oh, how I loved it! I clutched the glass in both hands, savoring every precious drop as though it were a past favorite, consumed long ago, down to the last bottle. Only now, here it was again, a lost case of the finest reserve, saved especially for me.
I held the glass firmly, unwilling to take my lips from the rim, reluctant to move in any way that would have this wine taken from me again.
I closed my eyes to savor the flavors, ecstasy washing over me, as in my mind the table, the food and the shadowy revelers faded into a background of nothingness.
When I opened my eyes again, the light was dazzling, and the shadows of my dream were taking form, coming together as people I recognized, people I knew. Rachel was there, and Allon and—Raven? No, blue jeans…it had to be Nox. They were all surrounding me as I lay in a bed that was familiar but not my own.
And I was still drinking that delicious wine. However, as the mass of cobwebs in my brain cleared, I realized it was not wine, and there was no glass, but it was familiar, and wonderful and oh, so sweet.
Too groggy yet to find my actions disgusting, I sunk my teeth further into the wrist, so warm against my lips. I pulled the blood straight from the source and into my mouth, swallowing again and again. A hand reached in, trying to separate the connection and a low growl emanated from deep inside me, guttural and raw.
A gentle hand on my head moved my focus upward and I locked eyes with my gracious donor, my ice blues staring boldly into the swirling purples I loved so much.
Raven.
Chapter Forty-Four
T he moment their eyes met, Jessica pulled away, choking on the last swallow of blood that must have gone down wrong.
Raven remained at her side, and though a small voice inside him was telling him to run, he couldn’t seem to move away. From the moment her teeth broke his skin, the self-induced internal failsafe he’d requested that Nox place upon him shattered.
He experienced a brief moment of pain, that excruciating, dinosaur-bursting-out-of-his-brain type of agony that usually set Raven back on the straight and narrow. However, this time he powered through, and the magic that held his beast at bay dissipated in an invisible mist. Nothing remained but the lingering feel of her teeth in his flesh, her lips on his skin, and a love so incredibly heartbreaking he fought actual fucking tears.
Rachel was patting Jessica on the back, assuring her that all was well, but the girl, his love, had eyes only for him. His blood rested seductively on her once dry lips, already plumping up again as the healing effects of his oral transfusion commenced. He reached out a finger to brush it away. She dropped her gaze, though, unable to look at him a moment longer, it seemed. Raven changed the course of his reach and touched her chin instead.
Jessica looked up, but only for a second before averted her gaze again, and there was no missing the tears in her eyes.
“Amante,” Raven whispered, and her shoulders shook with the weight of her sorrow.
“I’m so sorry,” she cried, pulling the blankets to her chest, an attempt to cover herself, to hide in her shame.
“As am I, amante.”
Jessica’s narrowed brow said she doubted his sincerity, and she had good reason. She knew as well as anyone what Nox was capable of, that Raven’s words could easily be the result of his brother’s manipulations.
“When I saw you here, so small, so pale,” Raven choked on the words, cleared his throat to continue. “When I saw you drinking from my brother’s vein—”
“What?”
“—my beast destroyed the chains Nox placed on him. I’m still hurting, Jessica.” His hand was on his chest, rubbing at an ache he couldn’t massage away, “but my beast seems to have let it go.”
Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks, and when Raven reached to touch them, Jessica pulled away. He hesitated only a moment before making contact, his hand hot compared to the now cool smoothness of her skin. She hesitated, then leaned into his palm, and when he spread his fingers to her hair and gently tugged her to him, she came willingly into his arms.
Raven ignored the wetness on his own cheeks as he held her close to him for the first time in months. Violence had been the only way his beast knew to soothe the ache caused by losing her. However, that part of him, the part that only Nox had been able to control, was at peace once more. His heart still hurt like a bitch, but when Jessica wrapped her arms around
him, when he felt her fingers clutch at his shoulders, he knew he’d come home.
Chapter Forty-Five
R aven! I couldn’t believe he was here, holding me, not hating me. I reached my mind out to Nox to ask if he had compelled my Vampire, but he assured me this was not his doing.
And so, I held on tight. There was so much still out there to resolve, so many things we needed to hash out, but the fact that he hadn’t gone batshit crazy was a step toward healing. Somehow, he would get past my indiscretion with Malcolm, and somehow—I didn’t know how—but somehow, I would get past the death of my baby’s father.
The baby.
Memories flooded my mind and my surroundings came into focus for the first time: the stark lighting, the adjustable bed, the IV needle taped to my hand, and the relieved looks on the faces of my family and friends.
Oh, gods—I’d lost the baby!
Fresh, raw grief washed through me as the realization slammed home. I convulsed in Raven’s arms as wave after wave of emotional torment invaded my body, twisting me up inside like an old shop rag that I’d wrung out one time too many.
“Jessica?” Raven pulled away, his concern washing through me and throwing me into full meltdown mode. He searched my face for a clue as to what was wrong, but I shook my head. “Amante,” he soothed, trying to pull me back into his arms, but I pushed him away. This was my pain, my grief, and he would never share it, would never understand.
Rachel was beside us, a gentle hand on Raven’s shoulder. He looked to her for some kind of guidance and she whispered in his ear. With great effort, he rose from the bed, wiping his eyes as he moved away, but he didn’t go far. Nox was at his side in a quick minute, and Rachel replaced his weight on the mattress with her small, reassuring presence.
“Are you in pain, child?” I wrapped my arms around my belly and looked the question to her that I couldn’t voice. “I’m so sorry, Jessica…”
She was still talking, her words foreign to me as my heart fought to deny their meaning. She said something about a ruptured uterus, about human medicine, surgery—which explained the stinging wound currently knitting itself closed on my abdomen—and something about saving me at all costs. She said a whole boatload of crap but the only two words I really understood were, “I’m sorry.”
My baby was gone. Malcolm’s baby was dead, and with her, so too was Malcolm’s legacy. The last bit of my friend had bled from my body in a gruesome, horrible scene leaving me empty and numb.
Raven was watching me, his eyes full of love I thought I’d never see again. I still felt that kernel of happiness at having him back in control of his beast, but I couldn’t suppress the feelings of resentment. Right now, in this moment, I hated him.
I’d been angry before, knowing he was the reason Malcolm was gone, watching my friend die in my arms. All of this I blamed on Raven. Yes, I was furious with him, but it wasn’t until this moment that I truly hated him for what he’d done. I blamed him for everything. For the death he caused and the one he had no hand in at all. In my tortured mind, they were all wrapped together in a sad little package of blame with Raven’s name printed in bold letters on the tag.
Something of my thoughts must have been evident, because I felt Nox in my head, asking to come in. The shields were automatic now. What with that weird connection Raven and I shared despite our estrangement, and the odd emotions I would catch from Harrier and Rachel, shields all around were the order of the day. I opened my mind to Nox automatically and he asked if I needed to be alone. I nodded and he placed a hand on Raven’s shoulder, said something to him, but Raven shook his head.
“I’m not leaving her again.”
“I get that, brother, but this is a lot for Jessica to process right now, and the doctor needs to examine her, be sure the infection is gone. We are in the way here.” When Raven growled at him, Nox rolled his eyes and said, “I hear you, but she needs a moment. And I need to see what you’ve done to my work. Come.”
Raven looked to me for guidance, and I waved him away. I felt a clutching at my heart that could have been from either one of us, but it eased as the doors closed behind the twins, and I turned to Rachel for some answers.
Chapter Forty-Six
W ith the brothers gone, Rachel reached to Jessica and pulled her into her arms, letting the child cry as she mourned the loss of her bairn. Oh, how she felt for her, having lost so many of her own. Though her losses were centuries ago, Rachel remembered each of them as if they were yesterday, and she knew there were no words that would be a comfort to the girl now. What she needed was to grieve, and Rachel gave her all the time she required.
Allon approached the bed, awkward but professional. He placed a hand on Jessica’s forehead and the back of her neck, even as she cried in Rachel’s arms. Satisfied, he nodded to Rachel and gave them some privacy.
Long minutes passed. Eventually the tears subsided, leaving Jessica with dry eyes and the vacant gaze often found on those who have suffered a traumatic loss. Rachel nudged her to move over, then crawled into the bed beside her and held her close, offering support the only way she knew how.
They didn’t talk. Rachel wouldn’t force it, but soon, sooner than she expected, the child spoke.
“What happened?” her voice was small and tight, emotion still raw in her throat.
And so, Rachel explained: Harrier finding her, the human doctor, the infection, but there she paused.
“It’s okay,” Jessica said, sounding like an echo of her former self. “You did what you had to do. But why Raven?”
Rachel wished desperately that Harrier were here to explain it. Admittedly, it was her decision to move forward, but he had a way of talking to their niece that Rachel had yet to master. She swallowed hard before replying.
“Allon suggested that if we were going to give you Vampire blood, considering the changes that are bound to take place, it seemed safest not to confuse things with a new source. Harrier or I would happily have done it, you know that, but this will be difficult enough for you. The last thing we wanted was to put you through more uncertainty than you were already facing.”
“And Raven just agreed? I find that hard to believe—wait. He said something about Nox.”
Rachel stood and began to pace.
“Rachel?”
Turning to her niece, Rachel puffed out a breath. Honesty was paramount.
“Actually, he said no, and Nox offered his blood.”
“Because they’re identical twins.” Jessica had pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, making her seem so small.
“Yes, and Allon felt it was an acceptable option.”
“And yet, Raven was giving me his blood when I woke up.”
“Well, he walked in, and…”
“Say no more,” Jessica laid her chin on her knees. “So, what now. Am I going to go full goose Vampire?”
Rachel reversed direction, marched back to the bed and sat on the edge, pulling Jessica’s hands from her knees and holding them tight.
“You are going to be what you are going to be. No more, no less. You will always be the same beautiful person with the same generous heart. You will be the girl whose friends and family love her dearly, and you will be the woman who stands bravely beside those she treasures. Whether you are drinking blood or margaritas, you will always be you.”
Jessica turned her head and laid her check to her knees. A single tear leaked from her eye and dripped on the blanket covering her.
“How long do I have?”
Rachel laid her hand on Jessica’s head, brushed the hair out of her eyes. “We don’t know. It may do nothing. You may have come as far as your genetics are meant to go.”
“Or I could wake up in the middle of the day and attack my best friend because I don’t know how to control the thirst.”
Rachel couldn’t suppress the laugh. “I’m sorry, Jessica, but you’re being a little dramatic.”
“Am I?” She sat up straight and looked Rachel in
the eye. “You said it yourself, we don’t know how far I’ll go. Is this it? Am I as Vampire as I’ll ever be, or will I turn into something you’ve never seen before? None of you know what’s happening to me. There is no precedent for…this!” she said, waving her hands in front of herself.
“Jessica, please calm…”
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” she growled, sounding so much like Raven. “Don’t tell me not to be upset, or not to cry over spilt blood or whatever stupid sayings you have. This is my life! My life that’s been screwed with, my life that is changed forever!”
Rachel reached for Jessica but withdrew her hand quickly when Jessica hissed at her. Oh, the hissing didn’t bother her, but the white light swirling in her niece’s ice blue eyes was at once beautiful and heartbreaking. Jessica read the shock on Rachel’s face, or perhaps she felt it through the familial connection. Either way, she was watching Rachel through eyes like tiny galaxies.
“What is it?” she growled, suddenly kneeling on the bed, leaning toward Rachel with menace. “What?”
And with that one word, Jessica’s eyes sparked, brilliant white light filling the room, making the stark hospital lights seem dim and insubstantial. Rachel could only stare as her niece’s fury built. Then Jessica was standing in front of her, blinding her with her dazzling spark, and when she hissed again, Rachel gasped.
Jessica’s incisors had lengthened into tiny fangs.
Chapter Forty-Seven
I felt strange.
I was so angry, at Rachel for healing me with Vampire blood again, at Raven for everything, at the whole world because it kept dealing me such shitty hands. When was it going to go my way? And before I knew it, all of that anger and frustration, disappointment and grief, was bursting out of me.