Something most people would never suspect about my father is that he has a horrible, violent temper when riled. He’s so easygoing normally, something Mummy confessed to me was a conscious decision on his part because he did not want to ever be the angry young man he’d once been.
So yeah, Daddy would have beaten Freddie Cage to a bleeding pulp if I’d told him what the blighter did to me.
After that I lost another screw and convinced myself that he just needed some time. Admittedly, I was grasping at straws by then, but who can blame me?
I’ve been pretending to be a tough, hard-talking, ballsy lass since I was five years old and somehow got lucky enough to meet Callie Landry and be taken under her wing.
I’ve fought, been suspended from school, almost been arrested while joyriding in the neighbor’s car. After stealing the thing.
I’ve done a lot of stuff and got into some awful scrapes over the years since I decided that I had to become the right type of girl to fit in with my friends.
I went from painting and listening to opera while Mummy flitted about in a daze of crazy and Daddy just floated about in a lost fog, to wearing hooker attire and getting pierced in places that still give me nightmares.
I created my persona and went from soft spoken and shy to the girl who hopped beds. In reality, I never once slept with or even blew one of the many men who I pretended to date.
Of course, they went about lying through their teeth, but I was golden with that as long as my friends believed I was who I was pretending to be. I was right happy with it all until I looked up at a party we were catering and saw a man I know is my one.
After that I was a wreck of nervous energy and pure fear. I was afraid of everything from rejection to losing him before I’d even had a chance.
Imagine my delight when Freddie Cage walked up to me after I gaped at him like a fish and made my every dream come true by flirting the hell out of me.
I just fell like a ton of bricks for him. I went from infatuation to outright, panty-grabbing, heart-twisting love in mere seconds, and to this day I will never understand why God had to go and make that ass my one.
He took everything I had to give. He wined and dined me and threw some words around, and before I knew it I was offering myself to him on a silver bloody platter.
I was dead honest and brutally clear with him about it all. I made no bones about the fact that I got to thirty years of age with my maidenhead still intact because it meant something to me.
I told him that for me, sex was not just a function but something deep and meaningful. I made it blatantly fucking clear that if we slept together, it would be because I have feelings. For him.
You know what he did? He blew my world apart.
He blew me away and ruined me for anyone else.
I can’t look at a man now without wondering if he’d be any good. Hell, I’m not even the least attracted to other men.
I went clubbing, got hammered, and took a blue-eyed, sandy blond home with me and tried to get naked with him. He was game, was rearing to go and bloody pissed when I couldn’t go through with it and kicked him out.
I just wasn’t able to forget that Freddie plague on my existence, so I couldn’t do it.
So yeah. After grief and tears, after anger and the need to kick him so hard he’d have a vagina, after desperate hope and stupidity, I am now at the last stage of mourning for the death of my useless heart.
Acceptance.
“Luci, would you go wrangle Jack and Callie out of the freaking closet and tell those two animals that we need them on the front lawn for the wedding photos?”
I snap right back to reality to see Mama Levin hustling away, leaving me the job of going to pull those two apart when we all know I’m liable to find them actually screwing by this point.
Let a man put a ring on his woman and he goes caveman. They’ve been snogging since the priest pronounced the death of their single status.
“Bleeding hell.”
Passing all the Naughties, the three dads and two wives, Gruffy (who’s flirting up a storm), all the Levins’ guests and even a grinning Woody, I manage to make it into the house relatively unscathed and find the married apes going at it in a downstairs closet.
“My eyes!” I screech, slamming the door back when I get shot of something I really should not have witnessed.
“Oh, Jack.”
“Oh come on already! Your mom’s looking for you and the freaking photographer’s waiting.”
They keep moaning like a pair of minks at the job, and I finally just give up the ghost and stalk away, back outside to find the poor sod I’ve conned into being my date at this torture session.
Not that I don’t like Alan. Indeed, the man is extremely attractive with dark brown hair and eyes the color of a spring leaf. And he’s damned nice, too.
I met him at one of the charity things we catered and got to know him. He’s more friend material than anything else, and he knows it, no matter how many times I’ve tried to look at him in a different light.
He’s moneyed and likes children and after seeing the charming way he handled my scatty parents after meeting them today, I was tempted to go to a shrink to help me with my mental issues. Really, who looks at Alan, knows Alan, spends time with Alan, and does not fall for the hot goodness at once?
“There you are, baby. I was just about to send out a search party for you.” He laughs when I fall into the seat beside him and flop my head onto his shoulder.
“Sorry. Last-minute checks before the porn couple finally come out. The cake…” I trail off as he laughs and chucks me under the chin.
“No worries, I get it. You’re a good friend to have done all this in such a short space of time. It must have been a job and a half to get things this perfect with all these people on your back.”
The truth? It was unbelievably easy, leading me to think that I’ve lost that last bit of me I used to cling to. I didn’t get all deliriously happy thinking about these things where before I would have cut off a limb just to do what I have always wanted to do—plan weddings.
Gone is the romance now that I’m a dead husk of broken love.
“Meh. It was fine,” I muse, looking around at the three hundred other guests without much enthusiasm.
Alan sighs and I feel myself go red with guilt before he pushes me up and takes me by the shoulders.
“Listen to me, Luci goosey. This listless attitude is not you and I don’t like it. You need to either get over him and move the hell on or just go after what you want. But you need to do something, because if I have to look at you much longer and see how little you care about anything I may just kick that fucker’s ass.”
His words make my lips twitch and I giggle to lighten the mood while he looks over my shoulder with a growl.
“Cage is coming this way, Luci. And he’s looking pissed off about something. You have two choices. I can get up from here and go get a drink so you can be alone, or I can do what I’ve been wanting to do since I clapped eyes on him tonight and kiss the hell out of you to make him see what he pushed away. Your choice.”
Hmmm.
“Are you sure?”
Alan grins at me in such a way that makes me wish I could have loved him instead and leans in with a glint in his eyes.
“Pucker up, hot stuff.”
Okay, I was wrong. I can kiss other men.
The moment his lips hit mine, I feel it all. His mouth is soft, full, and just the right amount of wet before he tilts my head to the side and really goes to work.
Alan is a master kisser and he does himself proud when he pens my mouth and licks inside in a lewd and completely hot way that I know other people can see.
The kiss is all tongue, moans, and lewd display, and I love each and every moment of the mouth-screw he lays on me. By the time he pulls back and I blink my eyes open, I feel giddy with victory.
“You call that loving me, Luci?”
I look up with wide eyes to see Freddie stan
ding beside me, glaring his head off as Alan smiles and hooks an arm around me.
“Freddie—”
“You tell him yet that we fucked, Luci? That you were a virgin when I made you scream in pleasure?”
What? Why, the utter gall!
“You unbelievable arse. How dare you? I—”
“What? Moved on at the speed of light? I fucking knew you were a crock the moment you told me that bullshit, Luci. I should have known it was stupid to try and hope that you were better than the vapid women I’ve been with. I…”
His eyes flare and go dark, but he cuts himself off and turns on his heel, stalking away without a backward glance.
I’m left stunned, speechless, and confused as I turn my eyes back to Alan and just stare.
“What the hell?”
“You still ready to walk away from him, kid? That was not the behavior of a man who is not interested, sweetheart.”
No. I don’t think it was. The only question in my mind as I turn to watch his retreating back is…will Diva Brides still have my wedding dress on hold?
~~~
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Prologue
The club that Linda and the other girls have brought me to is my worst nightmare. It’s hot, crowded, and smells like booze, vomit, and something that I know isn’t the sweaty armpit of a bear but smells like it.
And the lights. They’re flashing, strobes that gave me a headache the moment I teetered in on the high-heeled death traps Linda had shoved on my feet—after squeezing my size eight butt into a dress that looked small enough to fit an eight year old.
“Isn’t this place great!” one of Linda’s many friends yells into my ear, her vodka-scented breath hitting my cheek in a hot puff of air and spit combined.
“Sure,” I mutter with a fake smile, as I lean against the bar and signal the bartender for another water and a round for the rowdy bunch sitting in one of the lounge areas.
This is not my scene, and I would have avoided it at all costs if I could have, but Linda—my college roomie, all round pain in my ass, I-love-her-she’s-a hyperactive-party-girl—refused to leave me alone in the dorm and had practically twisted my arm.
So here I am, pretending to drink while fighting off a migraine and hoping that I make it out of here alive and with at least some hearing left thanks to the music and the screaming, writhing crowd on the dance floor.
“So Lin says you’re done. You finished your studies three months early?” she yells, leaning over and shaking her bust at the grinning barman.
I don’t even know why she’s bothering to ask since she’s obviously not interested enough to pretend to wait for my reply, but I bite back my annoyance and wait for the order, while trying to block out the din around me.
Yeah, I have finished three months early. It’s something I’ve worked my ass off to accomplish so that I can be a shoo-in for the internship at the museum of natural history.
The program isn’t new, but it’s so sought after that only a few students know about it because the school and lecturers have singled them out as suitable candidates.
You’d assume that I’ve spent the last four years of my life studying for something I’m passionate about, but that is just not true. I chose the field of History and Archaeology because, not only is it a very stable one, but the money isn’t bad. At all. And that will mean that I’ll always have a job and a decent income.
That’s important to me since I come from a broken home that’s run by a mother whose only goal in life is to torture not only me but my twin brother Alec, too.
He’s away at Tulane, thank God, and free of her tyranny so that just leaves me. I’d elected to stay in the dorms at school—even though the house is only two trains away—and you better believe I’d sever an artery and endure a hospital stay before going home during breaks.
I have a definite plan for my life and nothing will stop me from getting there. That’s why when my professor had advised me to try and finish sooner than is actually humanly possible, I’d taken his advice and worked myself half to death to get done.
Now I’m almost positive I’ll get that internship.
“Hey Shaw! Are you growing roots girl? Where are the drinks?”
I grimace and shoot the bartender a look to get his eyes out of…Ann’s...cleavage and get cracking with the order before Linda can yell at me again.
Seriously, this blows. I’d really rather go back to the dorm and finish packing my stuff so that I can get a head start on moving tomorrow. I’ve got a tiny, one-bedroom apartment waiting for me, thanks to the money I’ve saved all through college.
As I said, I’ll do myself harm before living with my drunken, verbally abusive mother again.
“Here you go, baby.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, throwing down the money and glaring at Ann to help me carry the glasses over.
I spend the next hour trying to avoid Linda’s drunken whooping, but it’s hard. The bar is ironically the only place I can go to get away, and it’s as I’m ordering another water that I feel a tingling sensation creep up my spine and settle at the nape of my neck.
When I turn to look, I meet a pair of the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re smiling—yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but this guy’s eyes are truly happy—and focused solely on me.
“Hi.”
I swallow my drool and nod back because I can’t speak as I’m checking him out. He’s got sandy brown hair and his features are…I can only describe them as angelic.
But it’s the mouth that seals my fate because his lips are puffy and red and curved in a smile that is at once nice, and yet not. He’s what I’ve avoided my whole life…a bad boy to the bone.
And I want him so badly that I am blindsided by a shock of lust and the immediate urge to grab his hair and pull him down to my lips. I’m not drunk, not even close, and maybe that’s why instead of making a fool of myself, I smile and turn away, taking a deep breath to still my racing heart.
“You’re shy?” I hear from a point over my right shoulder, and I turn back, surprised to see Mr. Blue Eyes standing so close I feel his breath feather over my shoulder.
“No.” Because I’m not. I’m just not sure I like this instant attraction I feel for a guy who could be a douche at best and an ax murderer at worst.
“Then why the brush off, angel?”
I sigh and turn back, cringing when I spot Linda over his shoulder, making a beeline for us.
“Look, I’m not into picking up men in bars, okay. And F.Y.I. unless you want to be stuck between me and a rabid coyote, I’d leave.”
A quick glance over his shoulder tells the story, and he turns back with a smirk and a raised brow.
“Why hello there, handsome.”
Great, she’s reached her target and is locked on and in the process of batting her lashes and climbing him like a vine. I may as well just head out because, as always, Linda has seen something she wants and she’s going after it.
Part of the problem is that it seems that the blonde bombshell always wants whatever I have, and she takes a lot of pleasure in proving that she’s got the goods to kick me to the wayside and lure any guy I like into her web.
“Good evening.”
“So do you wanna dance? Shaw hates dancing. Real drag if you know what I mean.”
I roll my eyes and start turning away when a hand slides around my back and locks over my hip, pulling me into a warm, hard body.
“No thanks. Shaw and I were just leaving,” he says amiably, nodding once before chucking my chin to close my gaping mouth and pulling me away.
I regain my senses only when
we’re outside in the cold, fresh air and he opens the door to a waiting car.
“No way. I am not getting in a car with a stranger who, by the way, has yet to tell me his name,” I say with a gasp, pulling away to glance around for a cab.
This is unreal and thrilling and everything I have never experienced. First time ever that a guy has chosen me, Shaw Mallory, the mousy chick who wears glasses and only brushes her hair twice a week when she remembers.
And he wants me to get in a car with him and, and…
“Robert Stone. Call me Rob,” he drawls, smiling down at me with a look that tingles all the way from the tips of my hair to my curling toes.
“Well, Robert Stone, I don’t know you, and I don’t want to. I don’t have time for relationships and—”
“Give me a chance, sweetheart. Give me one night to prove to you that I’m a good bet and I swear you won’t regret it. What’s the worst that can happen? We spend one night giving each other mutual pleasure, and if you don’t want more, I’ll disappear.”
I shouldn’t. This is all wrong and way too risky to even contemplate, but instead of turning away and leaving the blonde bad boy in my dust, I find myself placing my hand in his and following him, my entire body caught in the thrall of the promise shining in those blue eyes.
I can’t say why I do it, only that I can’t resist the chance to do something I’ve never done before. I’m always busy, aware of what I need to do to achieve my goals, and always conscious of never doing anything that in any way detracts from my calm, orderly existence.
I get in his car and let him take me away because I want one night, maybe more if I’m lucky, to collect on the promise in those eyes and experience every thrill I’ve denied myself.
“Trust me, sweetheart. I’ll give you what you need.”
Famous last words, I think, staring into his eyes, as he leans forward to seal his mouth over mine.
Chapter One
Shaw
“You can’t stay here no more Shaw! I’m not putting up with your shit and looking after your bastard brat. You have tonight to get yourself sorted out and then I want you gone.”
CALLIE (The Naughty Ones Book 1) Page 13