“Wh…wha…how…”
He sighed. “I heard that other waitress mention him.” A pause. “You told me you weren’t seeing anyone. Was that just to spare my feelings? Is this Kyle your boyfriend?”
A moment of glorious relief freed her lungs, enabling her to suck in a breath. “No. Kyle’s not my boyfriend. He’s my son.” After all the anxiety the words blurted out. So much for easing into it.
Tyler jerked back. “Your son?”
Pam nodded. And waited for a bigger explosion. Some kind of reaction. But Tyler remained still.
Finally, he shook his head. “I guess it was too much to expect that you would have waited for me. We never made any commitment to each other. You probably thought you’d never see me again.”
Definitely true.
“So this guy, Kyle’s father, is he still part of your life?”
Worse. It just kept getting worse and worse. She took a deep breath. Exhaled. Forced her gaze to meet his. “You’re Kyle’s father.”
Chapter Four
Shock. Anger. Betrayal. Disbelief. A barrage of emotions ripped through Tyler like armor piercing rounds through a bulletproof vest. They exploded in his chest with as much force. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t wrap his head around Pam’s words.
Finally he forced a breath into his lungs. His brain spun from the sudden influx of oxygen. “But the pregnancy test was negative.” He remembered that day. Vividly.
“Did you do it?” Awkward. Then again, there really was no good way to ask a girl if she’d peed on a stick.
Pam nodded, her eyes glassy with tears.
Tyler’s heart contracted, even though he was as shell-shocked as she looked. “Come here.” He drew her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his waist and nestled her head beneath his chin.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault. It takes two and all that.” The lame attempt at humor fell flat.
“We were careful. You always used a—” Her voice hitched.
“Shhh.” He kissed her hair. She smelled like honeysuckle and wind. “It’s going to be okay.” His gut clenched at the lie. If the test was positive…his brain slammed shut on the thought. He didn’t know what would happen. His whole life would change. Redirected from a path he’d sworn to follow since he was old enough to understand what his father had dedicated his life to.
“How can you say that? You’re leaving in less than a week for OCS. If it’s positive…”
“We’ll figure it out.”
Pam looked up at him. Could she read the uncertainty and regret, the fear, in his eyes? The clock on the wall behind her seemed to be going in slow motion. How could two minutes feel like a lifetime? Finally, the second hand swept up to the top again.
“It’s time.” He swallowed.
She nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks. When she disappeared into the bathroom, Tyler inhaled a shaky breath. His fate rested in the hands of a drug store HCG strip.
“It’s okay.”
His head snapped up. Pam stood in the doorway with the plastic stick in her hand.
“What?”
Her eyes still glittered with tears, but she offered a wobbly smile. “False alarm.”
The truth punched into Tyler’s gut. “You lied to me.”
“Tyler, I’m so sorry.” She reached out.
He jerked back. “Don’t touch me.”
Her hand froze. Then she lowered both into her lap.
“How could you?” It took all his self-control to keep his voice steady. Outwardly calm. While his insides were shredded.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again. You were heading to Afghanistan.”
“So that made it okay?” Some of the control slipped.
She flinched. “No. I just knew the military was your priority. That came first with you.”
“So you didn’t think I’d have the decency…” He clenched his teeth so hard his jaw ached. “The integrity to do the right thing by you?”
For a moment she looked like he’d slapped her. “No. The opposite. I—”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
Pam lowered her gaze.
Dammit to hell. “So if I hadn’t come here now, I’d never know I have a son?”
“I’m sorry.” A tear tracked down her cheek. Followed by another.
He steeled himself against the display of emotion.
“Kyle’s a wonderful little boy. He’s smart and funny.” She paused. “He looks just like you.”
Tyler pushed away from the bench and stood. “Stop.” He didn’t want to hear any more. Not like this. Not like some damn debriefing. “I can’t do this right now.” He needed time to think. Away from here. Away from her.
“I need to be alone.” He took a step, then turned. “You know where I’m going. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t follow me.”
Ten minutes later he guided the Jeep into the small gravel area next to the path. “Dammit to hell.” A battered pickup was already there. An intruder in the solitude he craved.
Unable to sit still and not knowing where else to go, he climbed out of the vehicle. Five strides took him to the edge of the gravel. Then back again the other way.
He had a son. Kyle. Anger raged through him because the name didn’t mean anything. There was nothing, no one, to associate it with. He couldn’t put a face to his own child.
Because he hadn’t known he had a child. Because Pam lied.
Pain lanced through him, cutting even deeper than it had earlier. Unlike the scars on his face and arm, this wound might never fade. How could he ever forget?
A cheerful whistle, so at odds with the dark turmoil in his soul, grew louder from within the woods. Tyler pivoted as a man carrying a fishing pole over his shoulder stepped from between the trees.
The tune cut off. “Oh, hello there.” He stood tall despite his age.
“Hello.” Tyler forced out the pleasantry. He wouldn’t take his anger out on a stranger. He nodded toward the rod. “Anything biting out there?”
“Some. Just little ones for throwing back.” He studied Tyler for a moment from beneath the brim of a faded ball cap. “Here.” He held out the pole.
“What?”
“I’m done for the day, and besides, you look like you could use this more than I can.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t.” Although the sudden desire to cast a line nearly overwhelmed him.
“Sure you can.” He again held the rod toward Tyler.
Tyler took it. “Thank you.”
“Welcome home, son.” He laid a gnarled hand on Tyler’s shoulder.
“Thank you, sir.”
The man nodded and adjusted his cap. “You take care, now.” His truck started with a clattering roar and soon the pickup disappeared from view.
The familiar weight of the pole recalled vivid memories of fishing with Granddad. After ten years Tyler still missed him like hell. The feisty old man had survived the nightmare of ’Nam only to find later in life cancer was one battle he couldn’t win.
Tyler beelined toward the stream. He scratched around the base of a tree with a stick until he found a grub. After securing it to the hook, he brought his arm back, and then cast out with a smooth forward motion. The line whirred through the reel and landed with a soft splash.
Some of the tension left his muscles. He could almost hear Granddad’s voice telling him to let his troubles go along with the line. What he wouldn’t give for some of the man’s sage advice right now.
Calloused hands reeled the filament back in. Hands used to holding a gun. Not a child. He didn’t know the first thing about being a father. But hell if Pam was going to keep his son from him any longer.
He cast again. Almost immediately a tug on the line followed. Tyler let it spool out, then slowly reeled it back. A small silver fish broke the surface and dangled from the hook. Its tail thrashed the air, jerking its body in frantic spasms.
Tyler caught the flai
ling fish in his hand and gently pried the hook out of its mouth. He eased it back into the stream and held it a moment until its gills filled with oxygen. Then he let it go. It swam away along the pebbled bottom.
He repeated the process a dozen or so more times until the light faded. Slinging the pole over his shoulder, he headed back up the path. Would he find the old guy to thank him? How had he known this was just what Tyler needed when he hadn’t known himself?
A lot of things were still uncertain. Could he forgive Pam? How would he feel leaving a child behind when he returned to Afghanistan? What would happen when he got home? How much of a part would he get to have in his son’s life?
One thing he was sure of. He was ready to meet Kyle.
****
“You’re up early.”
Pam took a sip of the coffee Mom set in front of her. “I never went to bed. I couldn’t sleep.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t deserve it.
“What are you working on?”
“Centerpieces for the tables at The Corral. I figured I might as well make use of my time.” At least it kept her hands occupied. What it couldn’t do was block out the memory of the devastated look on Tyler’s face.
She poured a mixture of red, white, and blue pebbles into a round glass bowl. In them she nestled a small American flag and a pick with a twist of silver stars.
“Very nice,” Mom commented.
“Thanks.” Pam put the finished decoration in the divided box next to a dozen others. “That’s the last one.” Nine other boxes were already filled.
“Wow. You were busy.”
Pam shrugged.
Mom squeezed her hand. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Normally, Pam wouldn’t bet against Mom, but this time around…nothing would ever be okay again. “I knew he’d be angry. Hurt.” What she hadn’t known was how his emotions would wound her. “You should have seen his face.”
“He had quite a shock.”
“He didn’t even want to hear about Kyle.” This wasn’t new ground. She’d told Mom everything yesterday when she got home.
“When he’s had time to come to terms with everything, he’ll change his mind. He’ll want to meet Kyle.”
Pam nodded, although she wasn’t as sure as Mom sounded. What if she’d hurt him too badly? What if he left without coming to see them? Tyler wouldn’t be in town long, but now that he knew, she wanted Kyle to have the chance to get to know his father. And Tyler should have the chance to spend time with his son. Even if it was only for a little while.
“What are you going to tell Kyle?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to tell him Tyler’s his father?”
“I don’t know.” Pam rolled the top over on the bag of pebbles and fastened it with a clip. “I mean, I don’t think Kyle would know what I meant if I did. He has no concept of a dad.” Tears pricked her eyes. The blame rested with her. The blame for everything rested with her.
Chapter Five
“I want to meet my son.”
Pam started and dropped the red twisted tissue paper she’d been about to stick into the chicken wire. Tyler towered over her. The sun behind him made her squint. It also cast his face in shadow so she couldn’t see his expression.
But the tone of his voice was easy to understand. He hadn’t forgiven her. And although not entirely unexpected, she’d hoped the time he spent at the stream would have taken a bit of the edge off of his anger and hurt.
She scrambled to her feet. “Okay.” The elevated position eliminated the glare from the sun. Tyler wore a black T-shirt and black jeans. Had he chosen them purposely to intimidate? For the first time since she met him he looked dangerous. Every inch the warrior. A man trained to protect and serve, or kill when necessary. A shiver ran down her spine.
He also looked sexy as sin, but now was definitely not the time to go there. She wiped sweaty palms down the front of her shorts. “He’s inside, but…”
“I have a right to see my son.”
“Of course you do. But there are a lot of people there and—”
“Afraid I’ll do something wrong?”
“What? No. I just—”
“Stop stalling.” Tyler crossed his arms over his chest.
Pam gritted her teeth. Was he going to let her finish a sentence? But lurking beneath the tinge of frustration lay a hint of something else. Something tender. Because in that moment, the pose, the impatient look, reminded her irresistibly of Kyle when they butted heads. Her lips quirked.
“There is nothing remotely funny about this situation.”
“Of course not.” She schooled her features. “You reminded me of Kyle right then.”
“Oh.” His posture relaxed the tiniest bit. Just the merest drop in his stiff shoulders. Although even without the bright sun darkening his features, a shadow lurked in his eyes. Something between uncertainty and impatience.
The flash of vulnerability made her soul ache. Three years ago she’d lied to him for his own good. But seeing his pain now, if she could go back in time to erase it, would she do it? Would she tell him the truth about those two pink lines?
“Hey, Pam. Do you need any help with the—” Tina stopped. She looked from Tyler to Pam. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
An almost-forgotten memory flashed through Pam’s mind. Back when she was a rookie waitress, she’d come across a scene just like this one between Sharlie and Logan. Poor Tina. She’d walked smack dab in the middle of a similar situation with enough palpable tension in the air to choke a horse.
Eventually Sharlie and Logan had worked things out. Maybe there was hope for her and Tyler.
“The float looks like it’s coming along.” Tina gestured toward the trailer half decked out in red, white, and blue tissue. She took a step back. Then another. “I’ll leave you two to…” She disappeared around the corner.
“So, are you going to take me to meet Kyle?” Tyler wasted no time getting back to the subject at hand.
“Yes. Whenever you want. I just thought maybe you would want this first meeting to be someplace more private.”
“Right.” His arms dropped to his sides. “That’s probably a good idea.”
“How about if I get Kyle and we can go somewhere else? Anywhere you want.”
Tyler’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Do you still have your own place?”
“No, when I found out I was pregnant…” She winced as Tyler flinched and looked away. “I moved back home with my mom. She takes care of Kyle while I’m at work.”
“Will she be there?”
“She doesn’t have to be.”
“So it would be just you, me and Kyle?” A million emotions colored the words.
“Yes.”
He was silent for a long time, his gaze directed out over the trees lining the parking lot. Finally he nodded. “I think that would be best.”
“Okay. If you give me a half hour to grab Kyle and let Mom know what’s going on so she can find something else to do for a bit, you can meet us there.” She gave him the address. “We’re right off Main. Turn left on Maple and we’re the fifth house on the left.”
After scrubbing the blue paint off of Kyle’s hands and shooing Mom out of the house, Pam had only five minutes of the allotted time left. Which was fine. Any longer than that and she’d wear a hole in the area rug.
In front of the toy chest, Kyle rolled his trucks in a circle, making engine revving noises. Should he be in the room when Tyler got there? Or in the bedroom and she could bring him out later? Would Tyler want some time alone with Kyle?
Raising a child on her own as a single mom hadn’t always been easy. She’d done the best she could by Kyle. He was a wonderful little boy.
Would Tyler see immediately how special Kyle was or would his anger with her taint his feelings? What would happen after this first meeting? How—”
A knock on
the door made her jump and cut off the three hundred and forty-seventh question whirling in her head. A wave of dizziness crashed over her and bathed her in a cold sweat. Her heart beat faster than a hummingbird’s wings.
Pam took a deep breath and opened the door.
The hesitant look on Tyler’s face made her want to take him in her arms, but instinct told her he’d welcome her touch right now about as much as a brown recluse bite.
“Hey.”
The loss of the second part of the usual flirty greeting stung. “Hi. Come on in.”
Tyler’s gaze zeroed in on Kyle. He paled beneath his tan, making the scars stand out. When he caught her eyes again, pain, loss, and a touch of panic vied for control.
Pam swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you want to sit down?”
Tyler shook his head, his attention on Kyle once again.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. There was no manual for this. Maybe Nike had the right idea. She had to just do it. “Kyle?”
He looked up.
Beside her, Tyler’s breath caught. No doubt from the full effect of the Mini Me moment.
Having them both in the same room was definitely surreal. “Come here for a minute. Mommy wants you to say hi to…a friend of hers.”
Kyle scrambled to his feet and scampered over.
She squatted. “This is Tyler. Can you say hi?”
He looked up at Tyler, who still hadn’t exhaled. “Hi.”
“He-hello.” The word rushed out on an outflux of air.
Kyle scrunched his forehead. He raised his arms. “Up, please.”
Pam rose and lifted him. His legs wrapped around her hips. He was getting heavy.
Kyle’s brow remained furrowed as he studied Tyler.
Tyler looked whiter than ever, but at least he was breathing again. Pam’s heart and lungs were working overtime. However her saliva glands had taken a vacation. Her throat was as dry as the Sonoran.
Suddenly Kyle leaned toward Tyler and held out his hands. “Tyler, please.”
No doubt the politeness was lost on Tyler who started. From hearing his name come out of his son’s mouth for the first time? He cast a wild-eyed glance at her. She nodded as emotion swelled to fill every part of her heart and soul.
Fourth of July at the Corral Page 3