“Not so much any more.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “That feels nice.”
Pam traced the bridge of his nose with the pad of her finger, then brushed over his eyebrows. His forehead. Memorizing the contours of his face. When a tear slipped from beneath his closed eyelid, her breath caught. “Tyler?”
Even the dim light couldn’t hide the vibrant blue of his eyes when he opened them. “I want to be a part of this. All of this. This town. Kyle’s life.” He took her hand and pressed it to his cheek. “But I’m also going back to Afghanistan..” His voice caught. “You were right. I can’t choose one over the other. I want it all.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. “We’ll figure it out.” It wouldn’t be easy, but they’d find a way.
“You’re okay with that? Me being a Marine and Kyle’s dad?”
“You’ve always been both of those things.” She sniffed. “You just didn’t know it.” She bit her lip. Crap. Like he needed a reminder.
“But now I know.” His voice was soft.
“Now you know.”
He sat up so suddenly her heart bolted like a scared rabbit. “I want to make things right before heading back. For Kyle. For you. We’ll get married before I go. You’ll have full military benefits as my wife. And if something happens to me, you’ll be taken care of.”
Pam’s emotions cleaved in two at his words. The thought of losing him sent a physical pain through her. At the same time, disappointment swelled inside her heart. He hadn’t mentioned wanting to be a part of her life. Just Kyle’s. She didn’t want to marry Tyler because it was the right thing to do or so she’d be compensated. She wanted to marry Tyler because he loved her as much as she loved him. Irrevocably and forever. Not so they’d have the proper paperwork if heaven forbid he was killed.
She shuddered and swallowed. “That’s a really nice offer. Can I think about it?”
Chapter Nine
What the hell?
The refrain inside Tyler’s head had remained the same all night. It still reverberated inside his head this morning. Had Pam really called his marriage proposal a ‘really nice offer’?
Was she actually thinking about it? Or maybe the lie she told three years ago really had been more about her not wanting to have anything to do with a military life and less about him and his honor or whatever B.S. she’d spun the other night.
Tyler ran a hand over the stubble of his hair. No. She’d been sincere when she told him why she lied. So why didn’t she want to marry him? Could he have misread her feelings?
She’d asked for time. Normally he’d be more than willing to give it to her. But he’d gotten a call this morning. He was due back at Bethesda next week for his re-eval. If they cleared him, he’d be redeploying within the month. He wanted to make sure Pam and Kyle were taken care of while he was gone.
So, after a five-mile morning run and a shower, here he stood on the porch of Pam’s ranch house. The American flag on the front pillar fluttered in the breeze. The undulating movement echoed in his gut. He didn’t want to pressure her, but he needed an answer. He only hoped it was ‘yes’. He wanted to be a husband to Pam and a real father to Kyle.
If she didn’t want to be his wife, it wouldn’t be the hardest thing he’d ever dealt with, but it would be close.
He lifted the brass knocker and let it fall against the door. Within moments it opened.
Mrs. Foster smiled at him. “Hello, Tyler.”
He bit back his disappointment. “Good morning, ma’am.”
She waved her hand. “Oh, please. We’re not that formal around here. Please call me Maureen.”
Tyler nodded. “Is Pam home?”
“Sorry. She’s at work.”
Another prick of disappointment. “Do you know how long her shift is today?”
“I think she’s working until three.” She paused. “I’m sure she’d be up for a visit from you.”
Or not. “Actually I was hoping to be able to talk to her someplace more private.” Would she have made her decision by the time she got off work?
Maureen nodded. “That’s probably best.”
Had Pam told her mom about his proposal?
“Would you like to come in and visit with Kyle?”
Tyler’s heart sped. “If it wouldn’t be an imposition.”
“Don’t be silly. He’s your son.” The words were soft. Kind.
He stepped into the living room. “Thank you.”
“Tyler!” Kyle raced over and threw his arms around Tyler’s legs. “Hi.” He tilted his head back and smiled.
With each smile, with each touch, with each word, the little boy became more embedded in Tyler’s soul. “Hey, buddy.”
“Wanna play?”
“Sure.”
Kyle took his hand and led him over to a pile of blocks. “I’m building.”
Tyler sat on the floor “What are you building?”
“A big tower.”
Tyler handed Kyle block after block until the little boy had to stand to put more on. After the last block was in place, the tower wobbled, then tumbled to the floor.
Instead of tears like Tyler expected, Kyle laughed and clapped his hands. “It went crash.” He sounded delighted. “Again.”
Twenty towers later—weren’t kids supposed to have a short attention span?—Kyle yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Let’s cuddle.” He crawled into Tyler’s lap. The easy, trusting gesture found its way into Tyler’s soul as nothing ever had before.
Kyle’s fingers found the silver chain from Tyler’s dog tags and tugged them from beneath Tyler’s shirt. “Joe has these.”
“Joe?” A sudden surge of jealousy tightened Tyler’s gut. Who did Pam know who wore dog tags?
Maureen walked in from the kitchen. She’d said she needed to do dishes, but Tyler suspected it had more to do with giving him some time alone with Kyle. The thoughtful gesture was touching. Especially since she stayed within hearing distance in case he needed her.
Kyle scrambled from Tyler’s lap and trotted down the hall. He soon returned. “This is Marine Joe.” Kyle handed him a battered sock monkey wearing camo fatigues, then settled back onto his lap.
Tyler quirked an eyebrow at the name.
Maureen smiled. “When your daddy’s a Marine, G.I. just won’t do.”
A shock jolted through Tyler like the concussion from a mortar shell. It was one thing to think about being someone’s father, but Daddy held a different connotation all together.
He toyed with the miniature dog tags around the monkey’s neck. “Did Pam tell you I’m going back to Afghanistan?”
“Yes.”
“Did she also tell you I want to be Kyle’s dad in every way I can?” He said the words quietly. How much did Kyle understand?
“Yes.”
“I asked her to marry me. She said she had to think about it.”
“I know that too.”
Something in her voice made Tyler meet her gaze. “I want to do right by Pam this time. Things got off track.” He shook his head. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”
“Do you love my daughter?”
“Of course.”
Maureen’s mouth curved into a small smile. “Did you tell her that?”
“Of course. I—” Everything ground to a halt as awareness hit him like a detonating grenade. He smacked himself on the forehead. “I’m an idiot.”
“No. Just someone who’s gone through a lot. Injured in the line of duty. Coming home to find out you have a two-year-old son. That’s a lot to take in.”
He grimaced. “You don’t have to make excuses for me.”
She laid a hand on his arm. “I’m not.” Her voice was gentle. “But I think if you told her, things will be different. I can’t speak for my daughter, but…”
Tyler nodded. Time to find out how different things would be. Either way, leaving was going to be a bitch. It would be saying good-bye and never seeing Pam and Kyle again, or saying good-bye and leaving
them to worry and wonder while he was half a world away.
****
Pam turned into the small gravel lot and parked next to Tyler’s Jeep. Despite the many-legged caterpillars doing the jitterbug in her stomach, she smiled. Tyler’s text had simply said Meet me at 1600. He hadn’t bothered to say where, but of course she’d known. They’d always been in sync.
The connection hadn’t weakened in their time apart. Which made facing Tyler now all the more difficult. She didn’t have an answer for him yet. As much as she loved him, she didn’t want a marriage of convenience. A piece of paper to make things legal…just in case. A shiver rippled through her. She wanted love and commitment and two hearts and souls joined as one.
On the other hand, she wanted what was best for Kyle. Tyler’s plan would ensure he was taken care of financially. Emotionally? Father and son had already formed an attachment. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Was having a father who was gone for extended periods of time better than not having one at all? Would it have been best if Tyler hadn’t returned?
An ache blossomed in her chest and spread. As much as it would hurt to see Tyler go, having him here these last few weeks had been a second chance she hadn’t expected.
The burble of the stream drifted to her. While her tangled thoughts spun, her feet traveled of their own accord to her destination. The heavy beat of her heart thumped in her chest. What would her answer be?
Tyler turned from the water at her approach. The smile he offered was tentative. “Hey you.”
“Hey yourself.”
He held out his hand. When she took it he squeezed. “Thanks for coming.”
“You’re welcome.” Great. The butler would be serving high tea soon.
He faced the stream again. “You asked for time, and I want to give it to you, but I may be redeploying soon.” He gazed out over the water.
Pam’s breath caught. “How soon?”
“Within the month.”
Her lungs seized. No. She wasn’t ready to let him go.
Finally he met her gaze. The blue of his eyes shone bright with the reflection of the water and something more intense. “I messed up last night.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I told you about my plan, but I didn’t tell you the most important thing.
“Pamela Ann Foster, I love you with every bit of my heart.”
Moisture sprang to her eyes. She blinked it away. She didn’t want to lose sight of his face for a moment.
“That and my name is all I have to offer. I don’t know if it’s enough. I’m a military man. I can’t promise to always be here with you, but I can promise I’ll love you and our son for every one of my days on this earth. I would be humbled and honored if you would be my wife.”
Tears streamed down Pam’s cheeks. A sob built in her throat, but she swallowed it down. “It’s more than enough.”
A surge of hope flickered in his eyes, but it was tempered with uncertainty. “Are you sure? It won’t be easy.”
She took his face between her hands and kissed his scarred cheek. “I don’t care. We’ll figure it out.” They would. Because in the end, the answer was easy. They were meant to be. “I love you, Tyler.”
His sweet, tender kiss flowed through her and settled in the deepest part of her soul.
Chapter Ten
Put any man in a uniform and he looked good. Tyler in his dress pants and khaki shirt at the parade had made her heart swell with pride. Tyler in full blues literally took Pam’s breath away. He stood tall and sure, shoulders thrown back, chest out, in front of the altar of the small, white church.
She clutched the bouquet of red roses in one hand. The other held Kyle’s as he accompanied her down the aisle. With every step drawing her nearer to the man she’d given her heart and soul to, her pulse raced faster, so by the time she reached his side, it was doing an all-out sprint. She barely noted the presence of the dozens of friends and coworkers gathered in the pews.
That in and of itself had been somewhat of a gift from Tyler. She would have been more than happy marrying him beneath a canopy of trees at their favorite spot. Who was she kidding? She would have married him anywhere. But he’d reminded her how much the other people in her life meant to her and didn’t want her to have any regrets later on from not having them share the special day.
Not that she’d have regrets of any kind about marrying Tyler, but his thoughtfulness made her fall in love with him a little bit more. Was that even possible?
Because she couldn’t take her eyes off the man waiting to become her husband. They shared a deep, abiding love that even time and distance couldn’t dull. They shared a son. And soon they would share a name. Could anything be more perfect?
Kyle joined Mom in the first pew, and Pam took Tyler’s outstretched hand. He squeezed as a smile curved his lips. “Hey you.”
“Hey yourself.” The words were a bit wobbly from the moisture stinging her eyes. Today they were tears of joy. All thoughts of his impending departure were buried beneath the overwhelming sense of contentment flooding her soul.
“Dearly beloved…”
Pam turned to face the preacher as he began the traditional words of the service binding her officially, legally, unequivocally to Tyler. Her “I do” at the proper spot was shaky, but the boldness and surety in his curled into her soul and nestled next to the pieces of him she already kept there. The road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but how did the saying go? With love, all things were possible. The deep emotion shining from his eyes left no doubt.
Tyler slid a gold band on her finger and she on his. The preacher pronounced them husband and wife, and Tyler kissed her softly, tenderly, but with a hint of controlled desire that promised more to come later when they were alone.
The reception at The Corral passed in a blur. A harbinger of her remaining days with him. Later she’d take the time to go over every nuance of memory and savor each moment from their first dance to cutting the cake.
For now, the urgency to be alone with him overrode everything. They weren’t taking a traditional honeymoon. No time for that. They wanted to spend as much family time with Kyle as possible. Mom had even planned a spur-of-the-moment road trip with her Bunco friends so they could have the house to themselves. For the first time, the three of them would live together as a family.
After tonight. Tonight was just for the two of them. Anticipation curled in Pam’s stomach and drizzled through her veins as Tyler swept her into his arms and carried her over the threshold into the posh hotel room.
Without setting her down, he kicked the door closed, then kissed her. Slowly. Expertly. Hungrily. Until her body hummed like a live wire crackling with energy.
His arms eased from beneath her knees, and she slid sensuously down his frame to press full length against him, her lips never leaving his. Her arms locked around his neck. Her brain whirled and spun and flashes of light exploded behind her eyes. She tore her mouth from his to gasp in a breath.
“I want to take this slow, but it’s been too damn long.” Tyler’s fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt.
They’d changed out of their formal wear before heading to the hotel. A godsend. As dashing and heartbreakingly gorgeous as he’d looked, she couldn’t imagine dealing with the task of getting him out of his uniform. T-shirts and shorts were much easier. Quicker. She didn’t need slow. She needed Tyler.
Pam yanked the T-shirt over her head. “We can take our time later.” She ran her hands beneath the cotton of his shirt. The firm muscles in his stomach and abs were rock solid beneath her palms. Her breath hitched in tandem with his.
He bunched the back of the neck in his fist and dragged the shirt over his head. Pam clutched his dog tags in one hand. The metal edges bit into her skin. Next to the designation USMC was the letter M.
“What’s the M for?”
“Gas mask size,” he said quietly.
Pam swallowed a sudden burst of terror. “You know you’re the bravest man I’ve ever met, right?” She ran
her fingers over the eagle, globe, and anchor tattoo on his bicep.
“Right now, I’m the luckiest man you’ve ever met.” He kissed the underside of her jaw. His breath tickled her ear when he whispered, “Know why?”
A delicate shiver ripped through her. “Why?”
“Because I’m going to make love to my wife.”
The words combined with the promise sent a knee-weakening thrill through her, but she managed to tease. “Not while you’re still wearing those pants. Shuck ’em, Lieutenant.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He twisted the button. The zipper rasped in the silence. He shoved the cargo shorts down his legs along with his boxers and stepped out of them.
The world around her could have imploded and Pam wouldn’t even have noticed, because finally he stood before her in naked glory. More beautiful than any man had the right to be. Michelangelo’s David in all his marble perfection couldn’t compare to the battle-hardened and earned muscles of a real-life hero. Like everything else about Tyler, his erection stood proud and bold.
Pam licked her lips. Her fingers were oh-so-close when he grabbed her hand.
“Oh no. Not until you lose the shorts, Mrs. Collins.”
“Fine.” She thrust out her lip in an exaggerated pout. So that’s how he wanted to play, did he? She undid the snap at the top of her shorts. Millimeter by millimeter she inched down the zipper. Instead of sliding the denim off her legs, she left them gaping to reveal the white lace of her panties.
Never taking her gaze from his, she ran the tip of her index finger along the edge of her bra. Her thumb brushed her nipple through the silk. The peak hardened. She bit back a gasp.
Tyler’s attention dropped to her breasts, and his chest expanded as he sucked in a breath. His erection twitched. He reached for her.
Pam took a step back and shook her head.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides. The rigid muscles in his arms evidence of the desire he kept in check. It shone from his eyes, sending a reciprocal response straight to the most feminine place deep inside her.
Her entire body hummed with the snapping, sparkling current zinging through her veins. She undid the front clasp of the bra and shrugged out of it.
Fourth of July at the Corral Page 6