by Robin Thorn
In fact, it was the growing darkness within me that drove me forward. It was as though I was being pulled now, drawn into the room after room until I noticed a burning light spill beneath a door frame.
Time seemed to slow down for a moment. She was there, through that door, and she was waiting for me. I could feel it. There was a tug on my chest, a pull that I couldn’t explain, urging me forward. Guiding me to her. I gave into it and walked, pushing the door wide to see Collette seated in a leather chair by a smouldering log fire.
“You came back,” she murmured. Her voice was soft for a demon. She turned to look at me, a look of sadness plastered across her face.
She faced me, and her golden gaze sent shockwaves over my skin.
“What have you done to me?” It was all I could say. I pushed my fear down and held her stare. “You’ve changed me.”
“Sit down,” she whispered. “And I will tell you everything you need to know.”
I moved over to her, taking a seat on a worn down stool. It almost felt like she was waiting for me.
“Why me?” I demanded.
She exhaled softly. “I followed you,” she said simply “For a long time, I followed you.” Everything about her seemed to glow with the pulse of the fire, angelic and demonic all at once.
“What do you mean, you followed me?”
“I chose you. I didn’t have long to make a choice.”
“But why?” I pressed, my voice shaking.
“I don’t know,” she breathed. “I existed in a state of pure lust and greed. An ever-burning hunger for souls. When I saw you, I felt a lost boy. Even with your friends, you seemed to be distant. In a warped way, I thought I would be doing you a favour by taking your soul.”
I grimaced.
“But you didn’t kill me?”
She shook her head, “I couldn’t. As I breathed your soul, I was memories. It shocked me, the sudden wave of love that greeted my lips. In a split moment, I knew I couldn’t do it to you.”
“The told me I’m dying…” I said, staring into the fire. I felt oddly comfortable around her, even after the things she had admitted.
“The Guardians, you mean?” She asked, her tone becoming inquisitive now. “You came back here on your own accord because they are keeping you in the dark.”
“I had to,” I choked out the words, balling my hands into fists as I spoke. “I had to know more. I had to know what you were trying to tell me before I…” I let the sentence trail off. “I don’t want to die.”
Her eyes darkened. “Well, Leonard has made sure your Guardian friend won’t get that close to us again. He has eyes in places even I have still not worked out.”
Phoebe. I shivered. “Did you know I was coming?” I asked.
“I had hoped.”
I looked at her; really looked. She was striking. There was something otherworldly about her expression, something haunting. Compared to when I first saw her, she had filled out. Her flesh pulsed with colour and life.
She gave a musical laugh. “The guardians will want you to believe you are dying. That is what they want you to believe. They would rather you not survive the transition; it means you will be one less demon to kill in the long run. The Guardians want nothing more than for all of us just to disappear.”
“I can survive this?” I croaked.
She nodded; silently.
“Then tell me, you must tell me how to fix this.”
She looked down to the fire, the red flames reflecting her golden eyes.
“Please…” I begged.
The realisation of betrayal blurred the promise of survival.
My own friend and her family, who I believed to be close to my own, wanted me dead. They kept this from me.
“Sometimes, the answers you seek are not the ones you wish to hear.”
“Just tell me,” I said, sitting up straight.
She opened her arms wide. “You simply allow yourself to become one of us. It happened to me, too. And that’s how I…that’s why I did what I did to you. I did it to survive.”
I stared at her, bristling as her admission sank in. She did this to me to survive?
“A few months ago,” she carried on, “I was just a normal girl.” Her gaze became almost wistful, drifting around the windowless room. “I was just a girl who got caught up with the wrong crowd. When I came to your room that night, I was on the last day of my transition, and the pain of death was unbearable. Leonard, my creator, told me what I had to do to survive, but I refused. A soul for a soul, that’s what Leonard said.”
“A soul for a soul,” I echoed back.
“I didn’t want my survival to be at the cost of another’s life, but I couldn’t go through the pain anymore, I knew I had to do it. So I came to you.”
“Why?” I asked hoarsely. “Why me?”
She licked her lips, her eyes darting away from me anxiously. “As I said, I followed you. I’d been following you.”
The air in the room prickled my skin.
“For how long?” I pressed.
“A while. I was drawn to you, and I couldn’t resist anymore. But when I began the Death kiss, I panicked.” She tugged at a strand of her long hair, suddenly appearing child-like under my condemning stare. “It was as though, in that final moment, I came to my senses. I was afraid, and I felt ashamed, guilty. I didn’t want to murder you to satisfy my hunger, my own selfish damned life. So I stopped.”
“But it was too late,” I filled in the blanks.
“I thought I’d spared you,” she said. “But I didn’t realise I’d left you in limbo.”
My breath faltered. “Between life and death,” I managed.
She nodded. “Leonard was angry. He wanted to be the only sire because a sire has the control and the power. So he brought me back to finish the job. But I refused to take him to you. I couldn’t do it. So, I lied. I took him to the wrong room, and he made me complete the transition.”
I couldn’t take my eyes of Collette, and I knew my mouth was wide open. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she spoke, but I felt no sympathy for her.
“Jeanie,” I said. “You killed her. I was supposed to die that night, but you took Jeanie’s life instead.”
She bowed her head. “I suppose not all of us are cut out for this. I’ve thought about that girl’s face every day since. I dream about her.” She squeezed her eyes shut, then exhaled in a long breath. “I can’t put right what I’ve done, but I can’t let her death be in vain.”
My eyebrows drew together. “In vain? You killed her,” I spat. “You murdered her. And you tried to murder me!”
She shook her head, hair tumbling around her shoulders. “No,” she said empathically. “Not yet. You don’t have to die. You can live. All you have to do is make a kill, just like I did—”
I staggered back from her. “Are you insane?”
“I’m Leonard’s child,” she whispered. “Leonard sired me, and now I’m just like him. I know you think I’m a monster, and perhaps I am. But during the transition, I lost all control. You’ll feel it, too. Each day will get worse. The hunger becomes unbearable, and soon, you either take a life or die at the mercy of the affliction.”
I wanted to leave, I wanted to run, but I was frozen, my gaze lost in the burning flames. I clenched my fists, my fingernails cutting half-moon shapes into the palms of my hands.
“You are part of our world now,” Collette murmured. “And we’ll take care of you.”
“What are you, Collette?” I already knew the answer. For she was Leonard’s child.
Her shoulders shook as she laughed. I tilted my head, confused by the reaction. Nothing about this seemed funny to me.
“You’re lucky,” she said, taking a breath. “You’re lucky that Amerie has nothing to do with what you are.”
I thought back to when I’d met Amerie, and the pointed teeth she’d displayed when she growled at Leonard.
“She’s a vampire?” I asked. “Amerie’s a vampire?”
“Correct. Vampires are a product of Amerie. As for me—us, that is, we are different. I’m a Succubus, a manifestation of dark passion. Leonard is an Incubus. The male counterpart.”
My heart rate quickened. “And that means that I’m also an Incubus?”
“Not yet,” she replied. “But you could be.”
“Why would I want that?” I shouted into the quiet room. “Why would I ever choose that?”
“Because it’s better than the alternative,” she answered calmly. “It’s better than death.”
The fire’s flames leapt higher on her final word, and my blood ran cold.
“Just wait,” she went on. “In a few days, you must decide whether you will exist in your new form, or die with the old.”
I dug my nails deeper into my palms. “You’re telling me, that if I want to survive, I…”
“You must take a life,” she finished the sentence for me. “And replenish your wilting body with the soul of another.”
I reclined on my bed in my room at my parents’ house, watching through the sash window as the sun cast amber beams across the backyard. Frost clung to the rose bushes; their thorns turned white in winter’s grasp.
My door didn’t creak open, but someone stepped into the room with me.
“Back again,” I said, without turning around. “Didn’t you learn the last time?”
“I was wrong,” Jeanie replied, sounding withered. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
I sat upright and turned to look at her. Jeanie, her translucent face there, but somewhere else as well. She was still in her ghostly form, and apparently, she’d managed to leave the confines of Dorm Block D. Damn it. I’d sort of hoped she would have headed into the light by now. I wasn’t in the mood to counsel spirits with unfinished business.
“Stef has gone to the warehouse,” she said, tapping her weightless foot on the bedroom floorboards. “That place where those things are hiding out. You know that, right?”
I sighed, my eyes trained on her through the dim lamplight. “Yes, I know,” I said. I’d figured as much.
“So?” Jeanie extended her hands, as if to say, get a move on, your friend is in trouble, you idiot! But it was too late to get a move on. Stef may have only just arrived at the warehouse, but it was still days too late for intervention.
“There’s nothing I can do right now,” I said, hearing the apathy in my voice. “This is Stef’s choice, not mine.”
Jeanie pursed her lips. “Stef’s choice? So you’re just going to let another innocent person die?”
I winced. Jeanie’s words plunged into my ribcage, piercing my heart. “It’s too late,” I muttered. “The damage is already done for Stef. For both of you. You should move on, let go of this anger and move to the other side.” I was days too late.
There was a beat of silence between us, and then she spoke again.
“Oh, now I get it.” She gave a throaty chuckle.
I raised my eyebrows. “Care to elaborate?”
“You want Stef to be at the warehouse. Better to be one of them and kill a couple of innocents than be dead, right?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “No,” I cried. “No, that’s not it at all! Of course, I want Stef to survive, and I wish that could be possible. But I’m a Guardian; my vocation is to protect innocents from demons— Not help demons move past the transition.”
She simpered. “Keep telling yourself that.”
Did she know about Sam? The thought made my stomach flip with guilt.
Jeanie folded her arms, and I noticed the faint outline of my dresser visible through her foggy torso. “Aren’t you even going to try to avenge me?” she asked. “As you say, you’re a demon hunter, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be out there, killing demons?”
Uck. The undead can be so self-righteous. “I’m trying my best,” I said, sitting up a little straighter. “My job isn’t easy, you know. But I’m trying.”
“Oh, really?” she scoffed. “Because it looks like you’re hanging out at your mum’s house wallowing in self-pity.”
I frowned at her. She’d been omniscience for, like, a minute, and suddenly she’s the freaking oracle celestial being that needs instant avenging?
But I’d already been to the warehouse once. I’d charged in to rescue Stef the first time, and it had worked. For a second, at least. And now? Well, I guess the demon pull was too strong for Stef to resist now. I wasn’t going back there again; it was painful enough to go back once, let alone on a second fool’s mission.
Yesterday hadn’t been my first ambush on the warehouse. I’d been a year ago, when Leonard had first started turning innocents, forming an army, and that trip hadn’t worked out too well either.
I’d gone there to kill him. Sam, I mean. But I couldn’t get the blade to pierce the skin; my hands refused to obey me.
“Go on,” his words echoed in my memory, “do it. I’m begging you. Do it, Phoebe.”
But I let him go. I fled from the place, leaving Leonard and Sam unharmed, and free to turn as many victims as they chose.
And now Jeanie was dead, Stef was as good as dead—or worse, a demon.
But at least Sam was still alive, hey?
And maybe, for him, that was worse.
“Do you know why the demons are crowding in Briarwood?” Jeanie sang, “Do you?”
I stared at her, “No, but I am sure you're going to tell me.”
“How about you help Stefan, and as a reward, I will tell you everything I have overheard.” She turned as if to walk through my bedroom wall, “But be quick. A storm is brewing in this town. Don’t wait until it devours you all.”
Collette tilted her head; her ear angled to the door as if she were listening to something beyond the four barren walls of the fire-lit room in the warehouse.
“Leonard,” she whispered.
The word alone could have turned my body to ice. Collette’s serene face crumpled in fear.
I looked at the door—the exit that was my only escape route.
“No,” Collette called to me, raising her hand. “Don’t run. He knows you’re here.”
The sound of heavy footsteps echoed, growing louder as Leonard neared the room. Collette busied herself with feeding the dwindling fire with logs, but my eyes didn’t leave the door as I waited for it to open, waited for him to appear.
An entire world had unveiled for me, and through my foggy mind, I could barely make sense of any of it. All I knew was that Leonard was someone to fear. Something to fear.
I held my breath as he stepped around the door frame, dressed in a worn leather jacket and ripped jeans. At a glance, he could have been just another college kid on campus. But something about him was older, stronger. Something about him was inhuman. And now I knew why.
“You have returned,” he said, arching his eyebrow as he regarded me. He walked towards me and offered his hand for me to shake. I stared at it for a moment, and then I accepted it, afraid of what it would mean for me if I didn’t. His grip on my hand was firm. I felt the bones in my fingers click under pressure.
Collette’s words rung in my ears. You’re part of our world now. And we’ll take care of you.
Leonard released my hand. “I expect my Collette has filled you in on everything you need to know. Is that right, my dear?” He turned to face her, his mouth crooking into a crocodile smile.
“Yes, Sire,” she murmured, her eyes not meeting his.
“Excellent. Then there is no need to waste precious time on the conversation. I think it’s time we show Stefan just how good this life can be.”
He turned back to me, that same sinister smile fixed in place. I felt my skin start to burn beneath his gaze. Slowly, he looked me up and down, clicking his tongue as he picked me apart with his stare. “Collette,” he barked out her name, snapping his fingers in her direction without ever taking his eyes off me, “I want to show our recruit just how big our family is.”
I looked past Leonard to Collette, my m
outh falling open.
“Yes, Sire,” she said, her head bowed.
She stepped quickly to the shadowed corner of the room. As she paced towards the brickwork, the air bent and twisted before her, and Collette vanished into it, melting into the nothingness.
Leonard wasted no time in taking her seat beside the fire. “By the end of tonight,” he said to me, laying his arms on the armrests and leaning back, “the urge will become too much to bear.” He tapped a long finger to his lips. “I predict that by sundown, you will already be your new self.”
I couldn’t stop myself from replying, “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this.” I swallowed. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
He gave way to a light laugh. “Trust me; when you get a taste, you won’t be worrying about whether it hurts them or not.” He stared at me for a long moment, smirking. “I see something in you, Stefan,” he murmured. “What is that? A glint of intrigue perhaps?”
I shook my head, groping for words.
“You want to have power,” he said, his voice making my skin crawl. “You want eternal life, strength, beauty…”
I flinched.
“You’re hungry, aren’t you, Stefan?” he asked.
I was. It was as though something inside of me was screaming, alive with urgency.
“It’s started,” Leonard told me, answering my unspoken thoughts. “Just give into it, and then you’ll be free. You’ll be like us.”
Like them.
I caught sight of movement in the corner of the room and Collette emerged from the shadows. She was wearing black leather trousers now and a matching top, like a second skin around her pale flesh.
Leonard eyed her with approval. “Better,” he said. “Now move, New Blood,” he ordered me. “We have somewhere to be.” He stood up and gripped my arm.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked, my eyes landing on Collette.
She gave me an almost imperceptible nod.