I unlocked my car and helped him inside, and when I got behind the wheel, I heard him say my name softly.
“Thank you for today.” Reid’s words slurred a little, betraying his exhaustion as he closed his eyes again and rested his head against the doorjamb. I’d kept him out too late, but it was never easy to leave him, and I felt the growing urge to soak in as much time as I could while I could. Who knew how long I had him for, when he’d decide to move on?
Reaching across Reid’s chest, I pulled the seatbelt down and buckled him in. With the moonlight streaming across his face, he looked peaceful, and I let myself watch him as his breathing slowed to a steady in-and-out. With him tucked into my passenger seat, I could almost pretend for a moment that he was mine. That we’d been out on the town and were headed home, together. The thought didn’t seem so far out of reach while he was still within touching distance.
My fingertips ached to reach out, and though I didn’t want to wake him, I found myself unable to stop from leaning over and running the back of my hand lightly down the length of his jaw. The stubble there felt surprisingly soft, and only when I moved my hand the opposite way did it prickle at all. When Reid didn’t so much as stir, I repeated the move again, pressing my luck.
He was beautiful. So, so beautiful. And now I knew it wasn’t just the way he looked or the persona he’d put on every day; he was beautiful.
The words were on the tip of my tongue when Reid arched, and before I could pull away, he leaned into my hand so that I was cupping his cheek. I held my breath, waiting for his eyes to open, for him to catch me touching him when I shouldn’t be. But he didn’t wake, falling right back into his deep slumber. I gave him one last look, memorized the way he looked with his perfect face cradled in my hand, and then pulled my arm back slowly. When he stayed asleep where he was, I let out an exhale and sat back in my seat.
That had been too close. But the quick jolt to my system had given me an idea, and it was with that thought that I drove sleeping Prince Charming home.
Chapter Nine
CAN YOU MOVE it a little to the right? Yeah, in front of the window. Perfect.”
As the movers positioned Reid’s present where I indicated, I leaned against the wall and imagined the reaction Reid would have when he saw what I’d found earlier that morning. It wasn’t fancy by any stretch of the imagination, but I had a feeling he’d appreciate the gesture, and with it being my day off, I didn’t want to waste another moment in showing him. After I gave the movers a tip, they left and I sent a quick text to Reid.
Not even five minutes later, the doorbell rang, and it didn’t stop until I opened the door, chuckling at Reid’s impatience. He stood on the doorstep, out of breath and with his hands on his hips. “Did you run all the way over here?” I asked.
“You said come quick.” He looked me up and down. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just thought maybe you’d want to see your surprise.”
Reid’s eyebrows went up to his hairline. “A surprise? For me?”
“Yep. Close your eyes.”
“Wait—is it a good surprise or a bad surprise?”
“Just close ’em.”
“You’re being awfully cryptic today.”
“I believe the proper Southern term is ‘clear as mud.’ Are they closed?” I waved my hand in front of Reid’s face, and when I was satisfied he wasn’t peeking, I took his wrist and led him down the hall. There hadn’t been space in the living room for what I’d found at a secondhand shop a town over from Floyd Hills, so his surprise was currently taking up the spot where my small kitchen table used to be—since I never used it anyway.
“Can I open them yet?” Reid said.
“You’re so impatient.”
“I think you enjoy driving me crazy.”
I coughed as I thought, You have no idea. “Keep ’em closed.” As we came to a stop at the opening between the kitchen and living room, my nerves got the better of me and I almost turned him back around. Maybe I’d overdone it. Or maybe it wasn’t such a great idea after all—
“Ollie, you’re killin’ me here.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, and let go of his wrist. “You can open them.”
“Finally.” When Reid’s eyes opened, the grin on his lips fell as his jaw went slack, and he froze.
“Surprise,” I said, gesturing toward the piano all Vanna White, but the longer he went without speaking, the more my smile wavered. He was so still and quiet, I wasn’t sure if he was breathing.
“Uh, I thought”—I cleared my throat—“since you can’t have one at your place, you could…you know. Maybe have one here. To use anytime you want.”
“I… I don’t…” He blinked a couple of times. “I don’t know what to say. Ollie…”
My stomach plummeted. “If you don’t like it, I can take it back,” I said quickly. “I know it’s probably not the kind you’re used to…were used to. But it plays, and I have someone coming out later today to tune it up for you so it sounds good.”
“You bought me a piano,” Reid whispered, as he stepped toward it and ran a hand lightly over the top. Then he looked back at me, the expression on his face still one of shock but also…appreciation?
Relief swept through me as he rubbed his lips, his head shaking as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Why would you do this for me?”
Why wouldn’t I do this for him was more the question. “Do you like it?”
“Do I like it? Ollie, it’s…too much.”
“It’s not.” I gestured to the bench. “Well, go ahead. Try it out.”
Reid’s smile grew as he sat down and looked over the keys. A few seconds later, he positioned his fingers and began to play, and it sounded like the same sweet lullaby he’d made up in the music store the other day.
I relaxed against the side of the fridge as I watched him sink into the melody, and he didn’t have to tell me what he thought of his gift; I could see the elation written all across his face. When he finished playing, he closed the top over the keys and kept his head lowered. “Ollie, this is the most incredible gift you could’ve given me.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it, I do. But…” His eyes met mine. “I can’t accept this.”
“Of course you can.”
“No, it’s too much. You shouldn’t have spent your money on me.”
“Reid.” I moved over to the piano and looked down at him. “I can’t imagine buying anything that would give me half the pleasure I get from listening to you play. It’s also my choice how I spend my money, and if you decide you don’t want to accept it, then that’s fine. It’ll stay here as decoration.”
“Ollie—”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. You love it. I know you love it. Just say thank you and enjoy it. Please.”
He shook his head, and I thought he was about to put up another fight, but then he broke out into a beaming smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
With a laugh, he said, “I guess not. And I do love it. It’s beautiful.”
More beautiful with you behind it.
“Are you hungry? I can make some lunch if you play me another.”
“That’s a pretty kickass trade.”
“I thought so too. Are burgers okay? I can fire up the grill.”
“Actually”—Reid stood up and rocked on his heels—“before you do that, there’s something I’ve been wanting to give you, but I’m not sure if it’s something you want.”
“Reid, you don’t have to give me anything.”
“Neither did you, but you did anyway.”
“Point taken.”
“But… Well, the thing is, you knew I’d love the piano. I’m not sure how you’d feel about my gift.”
“Don’t be silly. If it’s from you, I’ll love it.”
“You may think you do until you know what it is. It’s sort of
a selfish gift, really.”
“Oh yeah? You’ve got me curious now,” I said.
“Close your eyes and I’ll go get it.”
“You brought it with you?”
“In a manner of speaking. Close them.”
I narrowed my eyes before doing as he said. “Who’s being cryptic now?”
“Don’t move, and no peeking. Promise?”
“Yeah, yeah, I promise.” Whatever he had up his sleeve had me intrigued, but I couldn’t begin to guess what it could be. I didn’t hear his footsteps on the tile, or any sound at all.
It was what happened five seconds later that I never could’ve dreamed up, not in a million years.
A pair of warm, soft lips pressed softly against mine at the same time Reid’s hand gripped the back of my neck. Had he not been holding me in place when my eyes flew open, I would’ve jerked back in surprise.
“Is this okay?” he murmured against my lips, and my mouth automatically parted for him before my brain could process what was happening.
This couldn’t be real. There was no way Reid was standing in my kitchen kissing me. No way he’d been the one to initiate things. This had to be a dream, because the reality was too mind-blowing to fully comprehend.
For a moment, I focused on Reid’s lips moving against mine, and the way the tentativeness he’d shown had begun to turn into something more intense.
God, how I wanted to run my hands up under his shirt to feel his body as I pulled him tighter against me. I wanted his arousal pressing against mine, driving me crazy until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I’d push him up against the counter, unbutton his pants, and drop to my fucking knees.
A moan escaped my lips at the thought, and Reid took that as a green light, because then his other hand came up and I felt the velvet smoothness of his tongue dipping inside to rub against mine.
Fuck, this had gone too far. I never wanted to stop, and that was the problem. It took everything I had, every ounce of control, to break apart and push him an arm’s length away.
Reid’s lips were flushed pink, and as he stood there breathing heavily, his eyes glazed over with desire, it didn’t seem to click at first that I was no longer reciprocating. It wasn’t until he blinked me into focus that he realized what was happening. That I was pushing him away. That this couldn’t happen.
A blush crept into his cheeks as he stammered. “I-I’m sorry, I thought you… I must’ve misunderstood.”
“It’s not that—”
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize—”
He ran his hand over his hair and then scrubbed it over his face. “It’s just I’ve just been having all these thoughts, and I could’ve sworn you felt it too, but… I was wrong. Please just forget it.”
“Thoughts? What kind of thoughts?”
He stopped pacing and looked at me. “About you,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world to be thinking about me.
Oh God. Never mind. I didn’t need to hear this. I didn’t need him to tempt me any more than he already was, because I could barely hold myself back as it was. But I had to know… “What kind of thoughts?”
“I like you, Ollie. I like being around you. Spending time with you. And lately I’ve been thinking about what it’d be like to kiss you.”
Holy shit. I found myself shaking my head. How was it that he held nothing back? That it didn’t even occur to him to hide himself from me? I couldn’t even bring myself to admit my feelings for him went way beyond the surface, but here he was, laying it all out there.
Bracing myself on the counter, my voice came out rough as sandpaper as I asked, “And now that you have?”
He took a step toward me. “I want to kiss you again.”
The shock and adrenaline flowing through my system had me backing up, knocking into the counter so hard that I knew I’d have a bruise later. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I think you’ve forgotten how hard you hit your head.”
“What? You think a bump on the head made me want to kiss you? Be around you?” He sputtered out a laugh. “That’s ridiculous.”
“You’re just not thinking straight right now, okay?” Hah, no pun intended there, not that the subject matter was remotely funny. I didn’t even understand why I suddenly felt so upset, other than I knew he’d realize he was making a mistake sooner or later, and I didn’t want to be toyed with. Maybe Reid didn’t have bad intentions, but a disaster was all that would happen here if I kissed him again. And fuck. That.
“I’m no expert, but I don’t think it works that way, Ollie.”
“Jesus Christ, Reid.” I rubbed my temples. “You’re not gay. You’ve never been into guys in your life. I get that you may be curious, but I’m not willing to be your experiment, okay?” My heart couldn’t fucking handle that. It was better not to know what I was missing when he realized having feelings for a man, sexual or otherwise, wasn’t for him.
“I’m not asking you to,” he said, looking taken aback. “Why are you so mad?”
“Mad isn’t the right word.”
“Then what is? Obviously, I’ve upset you, and that wasn’t my intention.”
“You surprised me, is all.”
“Not a good surprise,” he mumbled, and then let out a heavy sigh. “Can I ask you something?” Without waiting for me to respond, he said, “How do you explain the fact that I remember you? Everything else surrounding the day of my accident is hazy, but for some reason, you’re crystal clear. You think that’s some sort of coincidence?”
No. I crossed my arms. “Yeah, I do.”
“Well, I don’t. And I don’t believe you do either.”
His dark stare penetrated right through me, and half of me wanted to take back everything I’d just said and start over. Go back to when his lips were on mine, better than it had been in my dreams. But the other half, the logical, realistic half, told me to hold on to whatever self-preservation I could. It was harder said than done with the way my heart physically ached with every violent beat.
I saw the moment his persistence wavered. His jaw clenched as if he had to force it shut or more words would come tumbling out. And with the way I was giving him nothing back but hard shoves, it seemed his self-preservation side was winning out as well.
“This was a bad idea,” he said, his voice low and uneven. “I’m sorry, Ollie. I wish I could take it back.” He gave me one last look and then shook his head before brushing past me. “I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“I’m gonna go.”
“No, Reid, you don’t have to leave—”
“And I have no reason to stay. You’ve made your point.” His eyes flickered to the corner of the kitchen. “Thanks for the piano.” Then he took off down the hall without giving me another glance.
“Reid, wait,” I finally called out after him, but the only answer I got was the sound of the door slamming shut behind him.
Chapter Ten
CARE TO TELL me why you look like someone pissed in your coffee, or do I have to try to guess?” Mike said a couple days later as we strolled through a department store at the town mall while in between calls. He’d wanted to pick up a few things for his wife’s birthday, and it was either go with him or sulk in the rig like I had the past forty-eight hours.
“I’m not in a mood.” Yeah, even to my ears I sounded like a sullen teenager who’d lost his iPad privileges. Pathetic.
“No? You about scared the pants off the interns this morning, for one.”
“Good. They almost hosed me down while they were supposed to be cleaning Big Bertha.”
“Oh. Well, for two, I just shoveled down an apple fritter and you didn’t even try to swipe it outta my hand.”
“You did?”
“No, but it proves you’re not paying attention for shit.”
I sighed. “Did you already get wha
t you needed?”
“See, if you’d been paying attention, you’d know I haven’t bought the first damn thing. You’re no help.”
“You don’t need help. Just get her something nice.”
“Nice?” Mike scoffed. “A new microwave is nice. Getting her oil changed and her car tuned up is nice. None of those things will get me laid.”
“You’re married; you don’t need to buy things to get laid.”
“Spoken like someone who’s never been married.” When I didn’t crack so much as a smile, Mike gave me a hard nudge. “What’s with you? You finally make a move on Bluebird and he turn you down?”
“Not quite.” I tossed my empty coffee cup into a nearby recycling bin. “He kissed me.”
Mike’s jaw dropped, and a whole lotta nothin’ came out.
“Yeah. That was my reaction too.”
“Holy shit, Ollie. We should be poppin’ some champagne or getting chocolate wasted.” Mike began to break it down, throwing off some shoulder rolls while he snapped along to whatever beat was in that thick head of his. “Come on, don’t make me celebrate by myself.” When I didn’t join in, he stopped dancing and rolled his eyes. “Dude, what’s the problem?”
“What’s the problem? That should be obvious.”
“Uh…” He waved his hand for me to elaborate.
“He’s not gay. He’s confused. And he shouldn’t be kissing me.”
Mike stood there blinking at me. “You’re joking. Tell me you’re about to psych me out and that you didn’t push him away or something stupid.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” I said, walking off.
“Oh my God. Oh my Goood.” Mike groaned. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need you to come back here and repeat all that in my good ear. ’Cause I thought I heard you say the guy you’ve been crushing on forever kissed you and you pushed him away, but that can’t be right, because you’re not a dumbass.”
“I did say that.”
“I changed my mind, then. You are a dumbass.”
“Mike, gimme a break here—”
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