Just Between Us

by Mario Lopez

  I think this is changing little by little, but considering our massive population, our professional network should be a lot further along. We need a Latin version of LinkedIn. I want to help bring us closer and I’m very proud to say that I’ve gotten countless friends and cousins jobs in the business. And they’ve made me proud. They are making something big out of entry-level jobs like production assistants or they’re doing well moving up the food chain and helping other Latino Americans.

  Another passion I have is encouraging all of us in all communities to read more. A book can be an e-ticket. There’s magic, there’s imagination, and you can totally change the way you see the world by reading one wonderful author. There was a song by the band Tears for Fears that spoke about all you can read in books . . . “in the crannies and the nooks, there are books to read.” Education is power. The more you read, the more you know; the more you are able to eloquently express yourself, the better you’ll do in this world.

  Reading has opened many doors for me in my life. And I can now say, with this book, that writing has been a real catharsis that has let me reclaim certain lessons that I’d forgotten—reflections and insights that I hope in some way have touched you, maybe even inspired you. I have a few more insights that I’d like to share with you here at the end. At the top of the list is not to take relationships or family for granted. As you’ve seen, I’m big on telling people in words that you love them, without saving it for the right time, because if you don’t, you may never have the chance. If things need to be done or should be done, do them now, in this very moment, because this very moment is for sure. Life keeps moving forward and things always come up. Plans change. Stay focused and as early as you can try to find whatever it is that you’re passionate about and commit to it; believe in yourself no matter how many people say no, and stick to it. Because it’s the only way you’re going to be able to have any sort of chance of success, and ultimately be happy.

  I’ve learned that there are a lot of people in your life who are important at different times for different reasons, but there are very few who really matter in the big picture, very few who will be with you throughout the good and the bad. I’ve found it’s important to slow down and take stock of the people I’ve accumulated along the way, and ask myself two important questions: 1) Do they have my best interests at heart? 2) Is my friendship offering them anything valuable?

  I’ve learned that I should try to do a better job of showing those people who have gone out of their way for me that I know the difference between someone who is “phoning it in” and someone who wants to live up to the trust I’ve been given.

  As far as work ethic goes, I’m all for working hard to achieve, and even surpass, your goals. But I’ve come to see that you should work to live and not just live to work. It can be important and fulfilling, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of your life. It’s not what matters. No one will be lying on their deathbed wishing they’d worked longer and harder.

  Here’s a big one: it’s not about quantity; it’s about quality. Money and material possessions will never make me as happy as seeing something as simple as Gia’s smile, hugging my son Dominic, hearing Mazza laugh, or seeing my friends stuff their faces in my house.

  Try not to force love or marriage, or succumb to pressures because your friends are doing it and you think it’s time to have a family. Be patient. The only thing you should focus on and keep working on is yourself and your personal growth. The family, the love—all that will come when you are the best you you can be. You work on yourself, you do the right thing, I think God will provide the rest for you and fill in the blanks.

  At night, no matter how tired I am, no matter how hungover I am, no matter what, I always try to drop to my knees and give thanks. Each night when I pray, the first thing I do is ask forgiveness for any transgressions. I ask to not make the same mistakes over. I pray for the strength to overcome struggles.

  I strive to have the wisdom to make the right choices so that the right things can happen for my family and me. I give thanks and appreciation for all the wonderful blessings: my health, my family, everything I have. I tell God how grateful and appreciative I am. I ask Him to take care of my wife and my kids and to help me be the parent, the father, and the provider I aim to be. To always come from a place of love, especially with the people I love. I ask Him to take care of my mom and dad, my sister and her family. I try to apply the Four Agreements: 1) to be impeccable with my word, 2) to not take things personally, 3) to not assume anything, and 4) to always do my best. I end my prayers with a Hail Mary and an Our Father, and I go to bed. When I wake up, I just say a quick prayer to help me through my day and I’m on my way.

  As you can see, it’s been a wild ride these last forty years. Thank you for sitting down and giving me the kindness of your ear as I’ve roamed the halls of the past. You’ve let me savor some wonderful memories and shed a tear or two for the ones who aren’t here to continue on with us. Thank you for being a guest on this show called my life. Let’s keep these stories just between us.

  XO, Mario.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Saying thank you is often more important than saying please. The level of gratitude I have for everyone involved in helping me on my path from childhood to forty years old is enormous. Notwithstanding, is there anything worse than an Oscar speech that goes on far too long, mentioning people none of us know? With you in mind, I will keep this brief. Rest assured that you are in my mind, and that I thank you wholeheartedly, even if you’re not singled out below. Thank you all!

  Ray Garcia, Publisher ~ I love working with you! This is our fourth book together and each one has been a great pleasure! I look forward to continuing many more years of work and friendship.

  Jennifer Schuster, Senior Editor ~ My patient confidante who, through her infinite wisdom, kept Just Between Us on course.

  Steve Santagati, writer ~ For your writing, interview skills, friendship, insight, and patience throughout this process—they have proven to be a priceless commodity.

  Mark Schulman, my longtime manager ~ For organizing the sum of parts so that they, once again, make a whole.

  Mim Eichler Rivas ~ The “book doctor” who made sure our “body of work” functioned in a healthy way!

  And thank you to everyone behind the scenes at the publishing level for all of your expertise and help!

  To Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey aka “Carmela,” Extra-Senior Executive Producer ~ Without your guidance, belief, patience, wisdom, and support, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you for keeping me in the game and winning. You’ll always be my Belichick, and I’ll be your Brady.

  And of course, Fatana Nawabi, our managing editor at Extra ~ Thank you for the great title suggestion for my book!

  Thank you to EVERYONE on the Extra team! I appreciate each and every one of you for all that you put into making my job a blast and our show the best!

  Thank you to Clear Channel and my team at On With Mario.

  To Lisa Blas, the best assistant in the world ~ Without her none of the “I’s” would have dots nor would the “T’s” be crossed.

  To all of my cousins, extended family, and friends ~ You guys rock! I love having all of you in my life, and your loyalty and support are unparalleled. Mi casa will always be su casa. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

  To my sister, Marissa ~ I couldn’t have asked for a better or more loving sister. Thank you for being the best friend a brother could have.

  To my father ~ You’ve helped me go from a boy to a man, and I appreciate everything you sacrificed to get me here! Thank you, Dad!

  To my mother ~ You are my rock! I love you more than I am able to express in words. You’ve done so much for me, I wouldn’t know where to begin. All I will say is this: If everyone had a mother like you, the world would be a much better place. Love you.

  To my incredibly beautiful and talented wife
, Courtney ~ You and our amazing children are my world. Your love, affection, and support are what give meaning to my life. Without you all of my success wouldn’t be nearly as sweet. Though I don’t look forward to growing old, I look forward to being by your side the entire way.

  All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise credited.

  Mom’s cowboy action figure.

  All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise credited.

  There are those fat rolls I mentioned.

  All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise credited.

  Chubby cheeks and a slick hairdo.

  Early signs of mullet love.

  My mom didn’t know I was too young for Vegas.

  Modeling in Chula Vista.

  Me and my sister, Marissa; we haven’t changed a bit.

  My first head shot.

  Putting on the Ritz.

  On my way to the “gun show.”

  So much time spent on the wrestling mats.

  Looking good in a promo shot for Saved by the Bell.

  NBC/Getty Images

  With my friend Elizabeth Berkley during the filming for a spin-off movie, Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style.

  NBC/Getty Images

  Posing with Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Dustin Diamond in the early days of Saved by the Bell.

  NBC/Getty Images

  It was a lot of work keeping up the mullet, and I spent a lot of time in the hair and makeup.

  NBC/Getty Images

  Aww, Tiffani!

  My dad made some sort of dirty comment.

  Mom and I traveling in style.

  Adam Larkey/Getty Images

  Winning smiles from me and Karina Smirnoff on Dancing with the Stars.

  Vince Bucci/Getty Images

  With Eva Longoria, showing them how it’s done at the 2007 ALMA Awards.

  Kelsey McNeal/Getty Images

  Performing on a Broadway stage during my run in A Chorus Line.

  Cohosting The View

  in 2014.

  Eva Longoria dropping by to say hi at my radio show.

  FOX /Getty Images

  With the judges of The X Factor: Demi Lovato, Paulina Rubio, Kelly Rowland, and Simon Cowell.

  Going over who’s still in the competition on The X Factor.

  With George Lopez when the Extra set was at Universal Studios Hollywood.

  Per Bernal

  With my dad while shooting the cover of Fitness RX magazine

  One the best fighters of all time, Manny Pacquiao.

  Now, here’s a guy who knows branding: Donald Trump.

  And the Oscar goes to…

  Sticking with the dress code at the Emmy Awards.

  Moët toast at the Golden Globes.

  Jennifer looks amazing at the Grammy Awards. Not sure if I’m loving my suit.

  Red-carpet night with the Hollywood icon Julia Roberts.

  Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

  You have to love DeGeneres. I’ve been on more than any other guest to date! Thanks, Ellen!

  © David Steele/Disney-ABC Domestic TV

  Cohosting with Kelly Ripa.

  Boxing god and good friend Oscar De La Hoya.

  At a ceremony for my favorite organization, Boys & Girls Club of America.

  Celebrating our Emmy Award for Outstanding Entertainment News Program with Extra’s exec producer Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey.

  The Emmy Award made an appearance on Extra.

  Jerod Harris/Getty Images

  On the beach in Mexico after my proposal to Courtney.

  The perfect wedding in Mexico. Gia helped with the rose petals.

  Mr. and Mrs. Lopez.

  Glamorous life as a dad.

  My amazing mother.

  Gia and Dominic on Easter.

  Patrik Giardino

  Our dog, Julio, looking for a treat.

  Patrik Giardino

  Three generations of Lopez men.

  Marissa’s family and mine on vacation: what we do best.

  Photos on this page by Garza Blanca Preserve Resort + Spa