by Olivia Besse
“You better not fuck this up,” Max teased, lightly kicking her foot under the table.
Riley pulled a face, attempting to play it cool as she willed her cheeks to stop burning. “Only if you don’t manage to first.”
“I bet I’ll be better at it than you.”
“Yea right,” she said with a theatrical scoff. “I could date circles around you.”
Wait, what?
“Should we bet on it then?”
“What would the loser have to do?” she asked, frowning slightly as she thought of the possibilities. After all, most of their past bets had resulted in insufferable punishments such as serving as the other’s slave or having to remain silent for the entire day, being allowed the luxury of making only animal noises and hand gestures instead.
Fuck, would he make her wear a Justin Bieber tee shirt around for a whole week, just as he had done sophomore year?
“Loser has to take the winner out on a real date,” Max simply replied.
Don’t turn red, don’t turn red, Riley screamed at herself, giggling awkwardly as he smirked at her nervous reaction. Fuck, what did I just say? Stop turning red! And why are you sweating? Are you kidding me? It’s not even that warm right now!
Great, now I’m profusely sweating. I think I’m going to faint. Where the hell is the waitress with the water? I think I just felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of my face. Oh God, can he see it? No way, his sunglasses are super dark, so I’m sure he—
“You’re sweating,” Max commented, bursting out into laughter. “Is it making you that nervous?”
“What? No! I just, er, I’m really dehydrated,” she immediately blurted out. “By the way, you’re not supposed to point that out, you know. You shouldn’t even be acknowledging the fact that girls sweat! Or poo.”
Poo...?
“I guess I’m just terrible at all of this then,” he mused before leaning forward slightly and whispering, “I lose.”
“H...huh?”
“Thursday night,” he began, sliding a napkin over to her with a grin. “Does that work for you?”
Wait, what? He’s really going to take me out on a... a date? I’m going to go out on a date with Max?
Riley slowly nodded her head, pushing up her sunglasses that were sliding down her nose and making it a point to ignore the napkin. “Sure.”
“So it’s a date?”
Oh God, don’t faint.
“It’s a date.”
Nineteen
“No. No, no, no, no, no!”
“What happened?” Liz yelled out, running into the bathroom with a concerned look on her face.
“Look!” Riley cried, her face scrunched in misery. “Look at my chin!”
“What?”
“Do you not see this monstrous piece of shit glaring right back at you?”
“Your pimple?” Liz asked with a frown.
“Yes, my pimple!” Riley shrieked. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
“Relax, it’s just a bump,” Liz said, rolling her eyes dismissively. “I barely even noticed it until you pointed it out.”
“I’m going on my date with Max today! Our first legit date! I can’t have a fucking pimple on my chin!”
“He was there for puberty, Riley,” Liz flatly replied. “He knows what you look like with acne.”
“He knew that his friend, Riley, got pimples. Not his date, Riley!” she snapped back, staring at her reflection in the mirror with a pained expression. “Girls that guys are friends with can have all sorts of skin conditions, but the girls that they date have to be perfect!”
“Really?” Liz groaned out, slapping at Riley’s hands as the frenzied girl began to poke and prod at the bright red spot. “He probably won’t even notice it.”
“Of course he’ll notice it!” Riley moaned as Liz dragged her out into the living room, away from any reflective surfaces. “Look at it! It’s huge!”
“It’s not that big,” Audrey squeaked out once she took a look, nodding her head reassuredly.
“Just cover it up. Or decorate it, I don’t know. Draw a smiley face on it,” Liz suggested, laughing good-naturedly as she did. “I’m sure he’ll think its hilarious.”
“A smiley face,” Riley repeated, her upper lip curling into a snarl. “A SMILEY FACE?”
“Calm down, dude.”
“I’m going to cancel,” she muttered, pulling out her phone and tapping out an excuse. “There’s no way I can go out in public like this!”
“You went to the store to stock up on SpaghettiOs and Diet Coke in your wrinkled pajamas and unwashed hair just last week,” Liz reminded her with a smirk. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“That was when I was single and miserable and had no shame!” Riley protested, dramatically collapsing onto the couch and holding a hand to her forehead. “I’m a properly dating woman now!”
“Wow.”
“Do you think this is a sign?” Riley asked, letting out another theatrical sign. “Is the universe trying to tell me something?”
“Probably that you shouldn’t eat so much garbage?” Liz replied in a sickly sweet voice.
“It’s honestly not that bad,” Audrey said as she pursed her lips and observed the inflamed bump once more. “What did you tell him, anyway?”
“That I’m too sick to go out. That I’m bedridden with the flu.”
“Is it even flu season anymore?” Liz wondered aloud, furrowing her brow in thought.
“Who cares?” Riley wailed, peering down her nose to see if she could still spot her pimple from that angle. “I am too sick to go out! Sickened by my own reflection!”
“Dramatic much?”
“You could put a banana peel on it!” Audrey suggested, pattering off in the direction of the kitchen. “It should help it go down a lot faster!”
“A banana peel?” Liz asked with a skeptical frown.
Audrey fervently nodded as she proceeded to peel said banana and took a bite. “I saw it on Pinterest!”
“Hand it over,” Riley called out, to which Audrey happily obliged, tossing the limp peel in her miserable friend’s direction.
“You should see yourself right now,” Liz said as she let out a snort of laughter.
“I’d rather not.”
“Why are you freaking out so much, anyway? It’s just Max. You guys have been out on hundreds of non-date dates before.”
“It’s not just because of Max!” Riley defensively cried out, her stomach churning as his name escaped from her mouth. “I just care about how I present myself to members of the opposite sex, that’s all!”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’ve always cared!” Riley continued after letting out a scoff. “I refused to see Noah for an entire week that time I had that allergic reaction after we got our upper lips waxed! Remember? ”
“To be fair, you actually did look really gross after that,” Audrey reminded her.
“And that was with Noah,” Liz pointed out. “He’s an uptight dick. Even I wouldn’t want him to see me with so much as a tiny piece of spinach stuck in my teeth.”
“He’s basically Henry 2.0,” Audrey agreed with a nod, prompting Liz to throw a menacing glare in her direction for even mentioning her good-for-nothing ex’s name in her presence.
“Still!” Riley shrieked, unable to come up with any other excuse.
“Still what?” Liz asked, an amused smirk on her face. “This is Max were talking about. Ugh, it’s still weird to say it aloud.”
“How do you think I feel?” Riley whimpered as she began to press the banana peel more firmly against her skin. “I’m so confused, I think I’m going to vom.”
“But you like him, right?”
“Of course she does!” Audrey practically yelped, hugging a pillow tightly to her chest and collapsing onto the couch next to Riley. “It’s just like a fairy tale! Or a really good romantic comedy.”
“I mean, of course I like him,” Riley sighed out, glancing over at Audrey with a
tired expression. “I’m just not sure if I like like him.”
“You better figure that out soon,” Liz warned, slightly grimacing as she did. “There’s no reason to risk your friendship if you’re not even sure this will work out.”
“I think we can safely agree that it’s already been risked,” Audrey said, to which Riley let out another loud groan.
“Oh God, I just ruined an entire lifetime worth of friendship,” Riley wailed out.
“The best relationships start off as friendships, you know,” Audrey comforted her with a reassuring pat on the hand. “You can even Google it if you don’t believe me.”
“Can you just Google my situation and tell me what I should do?”
“How do you think Noah will react when he finds out?” Liz cautiously began. “He’s going to find out sooner or later, right?”
“What’s with the interrogation session?” Riley whimpered, propping her slimy, banana-scented acne treatment against a pillow before promptly smashing her face against it. “First, my chin gives birth to this thing. And now, you? Can ‘Lets Pick On Riley’ Day be over yet?”
“It is a legitimate question,” Audrey drawled out.
“And, seeing as how Noah’s practically Ms. Manners himself, you better figure out a game plan stat.”
No matter how much Riley wanted to avoid the topic, she knew very well that Liz was right. The fact that Noah would flip out was a given, and she didn’t even want to imagine how infuriated he’d be at the both of them. After all, Noah had screamed at her in the past for forgetting to cancel a stupid Netflix subscription. Who knew how he’d react upon discovering that his ex-girlfriend and his best friend were hooking up behind his back?
Seeing the stricken look on Riley’s face, Liz scrunched up her face in determination. “Okay, let’s approach this slowly but surely. We can take baby steps.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you still have feelings for Noah?” Liz asked in a straightforward tone.
“Oh, I have tons of feelings about Noah,” Riley began bitterly. “Feelings of hatred, feelings of resentment, feelings of—”
“You know what I meant. Do you still love him?”
“I... I don’t know,” Riley admitted, letting out a defeated sigh. “I mean, probably, right?”
“What do you mean by ‘probably’? You either do or you don’t!”
“I don’t know!” Riley cried out. “Probably as in I’ll probably always love him, you know? Six years worth of feelings don’t just disappear like that.”
“So now it’s six years, hm?” Liz asked with a grin. “Not rounding up to a decade anymore?”
“You know, Riley, there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone,” Audrey prattled out. “And when you’re in love with someone, you just know. Like, does Noah make your heart beat faster and your head get fuzzy and your hands get clammy and your toes get tingly?”
“Uh... not really,” Riley muttered, exchanging a look with Liz. “Or... I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Does Max?”
“I—”
Just then, a loud knocking sound came from the other side of the front door, causing all three girls to look over in its direction.
“Who... who is it?” Liz called out.
“Did you order pizza?” Audrey whispered to Riley, who merely frowned in response from where she lay.
“Max.”
A sneaky smile adorned Liz’s face as she turned to glance at Riley, whose cheeks were now drained of any color. “Come in!”
“Liz!” Riley hissed out as the door swung open. “What the fuck!”
“Hey,” Max greeted them, grinning nervously at the three sets of eyes staring up at him. “I... I brought some... uh... stuff,” he added, lifting up the bag in his hand. “Soup and oranges and cough drops and shit. Because you’re sick... and, uh... yea.”
“Oh, how sweet of you!” Liz sang out, grabbing Audrey by the arm and shooting up from the couch. “And what perfect timing. We were just leaving!”
“We were?” Audrey asked in confusion before Liz promptly nudged her in the ribs. “Ow!”
“You guys can stay,” Max mumbled, his cheeks turning pink. “I mean, you don’t have to—”
“Already leaving!” Audrey practically shrieked out, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence.
What the fuck, Riley grumbled to herself as she watched her two supposed friends grab for their bags, the both of them keeping their heads down so as to avoid her menacing glare. Are you motherfuckers really abandoning me right now?
“Clammy hands? Tingly toes?” she heard Liz mutter to Audrey as the two began sauntering past Max. “Did you pick up that load of crap from Cosmo too?”
“Teen Vogue,” Audrey’s voice chirped back as the door slammed shut behind them.
“H...hi,” Riley squeaked out, positioning herself upright and immediately placing her hand in front of her chin.
“Is... is that a banana?” Max asked with a frown, glancing down at the browned peel that had fallen into her lap.
“Oh... haha... it’s nothing!” Riley mumbled, frantically shoving it into the crevice between the two seat cushions.
“Uh, you sure you want to do that?”
“So, you brought soup, you said?” she quickly asked before letting out a series of coughs and loudly clearing her throat. “Butternut squash?”
Note to self—retrieve banana peel once he leaves.
“Yea,” he replied slowly, eyeing her with suspicion. “You don’t look very sick to me, though.”
Riley made it a point to cough quietly once again, though Max merely rolled his eyes at her lame performance. “What are you talking about?”
“Did you just make the whole flu thing up so you wouldn’t have to come out?”
“No! I mean... no!”
“Riley, you should’ve just told me if you’re uncomfortable with... this,” Max said, a tired look clouding his eyes as he set the paper bag on the table and took a seat on the floor. “You didn’t have to pretend you were sick.”
“Who said I’m pretending?”
“Dude, you’re not sick,” he pointed out in a flat tone.
“Okay, fine, but—”
Max shot her a crooked smile, his shoulders visibly drooping in disappointment. “You could’ve just said so if you didn’t want to—”
“It’s not that, Max!” she groaned in frustration, her fist still firmly planted against her jawline.
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t want to tell you!”
“Just tell me!”
“I said I don’t want to!”
“Riley, whatever it is, you can just tell me,” Max insisted, shooting her a bored frown as he took a seat next to her on the couch. “You don’t have to make up stories about being diseased and shit.”
“Fine. But you promise you won’t laugh?” she quietly asked, her nostrils slightly flaring as she let out a shaky breath.
“Sure,” he agreed with a smirk, rummaging through the shopping bag and placing the contents onto the table in front of them.
“All right,” Riley sighed out, slowly lowering her hand from her face. “There.”
“What?” Max asked, glancing at her curiously as he opened his bag of chips and leaned back against the cushion.
“What do you mean, ‘what’?”
“I don’t get it,” he replied with a shrug. “Your pimple?”
“Yes, my pimple! My fucking huge ass pimple that’s taken over my entire face!”
Max let out a snort of laughter. “Seriously? You cancelled because of that? Who cares?”
“I do!” she cried out in exasperation. “I care!”
“It’s not even that bad, dude.”
“Stop staring at it!”
Max cocked an eyebrow at her before leaning forward and grabbing an orange. “Fine,” he said, fighting back a grin as he peeled the produce sticker off of the bumpy rind and stuck it atop he
r reddened bump. “Problem solved.”
“Are you kidding me?” she blurted out, unsure of if she should burst out into tears or laughter.
“Organic,” he mused, observing her chin with interest. “Fancy.”
“Max—”
“Riley, we had chickenpox together. Fuck that, you gave me poison ivy after camp that one time, and we were covered in hundreds of spots,” he said, grinning as he thought back on the miserable summer during which they had gone through entire bottles of calamine lotion. “I don’t really care about a stupid pimple.”
“But—”
“Here,” he continued, peeling the sticker off of another orange and sticking it to his own forehead. “Twinsies.”
Riley couldn’t help but laugh as she came to the realization of how crazy she had been acting. Of course Max didn’t care. Why had she thought he would? Was it because she had become so accustomed to needing to appear perfect from when she was with Noah?
But Max isn’t Noah, she reminded herself as she peered at his sticker-adorned face. They actually couldn’t be more different from one another.
“So, since you basically sabotaged our whole night, let’s just take it easy today,” Max suggested as he reached for the remote and turned on the TV. “It can be a typical Max-and-Riley day. No pressure.”
“Sounds good to me,” she sighed out, settling into her seat and turning her gaze to the screen.
“Law & Order: SVU marathon?” Max asked, glancing over at her for approval as he switched over to that channel.
“Um, duh,” Riley replied, grabbing for the tub of soup on the table. “We really are meant to be friends, what with our excellent taste in cable programming.”
Max let out an appreciative laugh as dramatic music blared out from the speakers. “Yup. So, BFF, let me tell you all about this shitty girl who totally flaked on me at the last minute today.”
“She sounds terrible,” Riley played along, rolling her eyes in embarrassment as a big grin spread across her face.
“The worst,” he drawled out before throwing a chip at her. “Ruined all of the epic things that I had planned.”
“What a bitch.”
“Uh-huh. And not only that, but she has this really ugly tattoo of a sticker on her face and totally smells like bananas...”