by Olivia Besse
Blah, blah, blah, who the fuck cares, she screamed in her head as the words tumbled out of her mouth, disgusted with herself for acting like such a sycophant to this person who couldn’t care less. Just excuse me so we can both go on our ways. Come on, Brian! There’s no need to be this cruel!
“Great,” Brian said, seemingly reading her mind as he slowly rose up from his chair. “Again, I’m very apologetic about the misunderstanding. And I’ll definitely forward your résumé to the internship coordinator,” he added before shaking her hand once again and leading her to the door. “It really is a great program!”
I am going to be unemployed and miserable, Riley mused once she was slumped against the corner of the elevator. I’m going to become one of those girls in my mid-twenties who floats from internship to internship, surviving on dollar menu tacos and the salt of my own tears, she lamented as the sound of her heels clicking against the cold marble tiles of the lobby echoed in her ears. If I can even get a fucking internship in the first place.
Fuck. Why couldn’t my last name just be Gorschowitz?
Twenty-five
“You don’t need to beat yourself up about it. It’s not like it was your fault.”
“It was the shittiest feeling ever,” Riley groaned as she rolled around miserably. “I literally exploded when he said ‘Stanford.’”
“Okay, I’m not sure if you understand what the term, ‘literally,’ means, but—”
“Max, what am I going to do? I’m going to be unemployed!”
“First of all, stop applying to jobs that you’re not qualified for, because then you’re just wasting your own time and energy,” Max began with a smirk as he turned around in his desk chair. “Second, only apply to things that appeal to you. You’re going to end up hating whatever job you get anyway, so you might as well hate it a little less because it’s interesting.”
“I guess...”
“Third, you need to stop freaking out during your interviews.”
“How?” Riley cried out, resting her head on his pillow. “I turn into a mess whenever someone even mentions that word. My throat tightens up and my heart beats faster and my hands get clammy and I forget everything that I’m trying to say—”
“Sounds like love to me,” Max joked in a whimsical tone.
“Shut up,” Riley grumbled under her breath. “I just suck at interviews.”
“Why?” Max asked with a shrug. “Interviews are stupid. They’re just tests to see which candidate’s the best at bullshitting for that allotted period of time. Just tell them everything that they want to hear.”
“Well, when you put it that way...”
“Why do you get so scared anyway? It’s just another human being on the other side of the desk.”
“A powerful human being,” she reminded him.
“Not really. Just imagine that it’s Audrey you’re talking to, or something.”
“I don’t want them to think I’m mentally retarded!”
“Look, if you get an offer for a phone screening, they’re already partially convinced that you wouldn’t totally fuck up on the job,” Max explained. “The whole point of the phone interview is to find ways to ding you. You just have to find ways to prove them wrong.”
“How can I prove the other person wrong when I’m too busy having a nervous breakdown?” Riley moaned as she buried her face into the pillow.
“By not having nervous breakdowns,” Max teased before turning back to his computer.
“Do you think I’ll ever get a real-life interview?” she asked with a heavy sigh. “One that’s actually meant for me, I mean.”
“Once you stop scaring off your phone interviewers, sure,” Max replied. “Getting passed on to the in-person round is the hardest part. But after that? Easy.”
“How so?”
“Well, at that point, they’re already aware that you have the skills to get the job done. They just want to meet you to make sure that you’re not creepy or insane,” he told her, the corners of his lips twitching in amusement as he did. “Actually, maybe it won’t be so easy for you, then.”
“How much do you think a homeless person can pull in?” she whimpered in defeat. “Or those street performers in Santa Monica? Maybe $10, $20 an hour?”
“I was just kidding,” Max said with a laugh.
“I fail at life,” she continued to wail out, slowly proceeding to bang her head against the wall in front of her. “What’s the point of even graduating if no one wants to hire me anyway?”
“Who knows if you’ll even graduate at the rate you’re going,” Max pointed out as he turned away from the assignment he was working on. “Didn’t you come over here because you needed to study? You haven’t even taken your computer out of your bag.”
“No, I came over here to mope. And why study when there’s obviously no point?” Riley theatrically replied. “Communications? Ha! What am I going to do—communicate? I can’t even hold a decent phone conversation! I might as well have majored in Internet Cat Videos!”
“Actually, a degree in that would probably be pretty lucrative,” Max joked, throwing a balled up piece of paper in her direction. “But, too bad, you’re a communicator. So get studying before you end up failing all of your midterms.”
“Who even cares anymore? I give up,” she breathily replied. “Do you want to go to Taco Bell?”
“Riley, stop distracting me and just start studying,” Max instructed, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he watched her throw his blanket over her face. “Here, I’ll make you a deal. If you get an ‘A,’ I’ll get you a surprise,” he added in a singsong voice, knowing very well that she wouldn’t be able to resist the offer.
“A surprise?” she repeated, peeking out from underneath the heavy comforter. “What kind of surprise?”
“It’s a surprise,” he simply replied with a mischievous smirk.
Riley peered over at him with a skeptical expression as she slowly pushed the blanket off and sat herself upright. “I don’t like you very much right now,” she began, leaning over the side of the bed and lazily grabbing for her backpack. “But I must say that I’m impressed.”
“Oh, well, I am an impressive person,” Max reminded her as he grinned.
“It better be fucking good,” she huffily replied.
“Try great.”
Riley let out a frustrated groan as she propped open her laptop. “Does it have to be an ‘A’? How about a ‘B’? Or a ‘B+’?”
“Fine, a ‘B+,’” he agreed with a snort of laughter.
“Deal,” she sighed out, tapping at her keyboard while bopping her head to and fro. “I’m going make this surprise my bitch.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Just watch, Fletcher,” Riley began, cracking her knuckles in determination. “Prepare to be amazed by my unbelievable studying abilities.”
“I’m prepared.”
“I’m going to out-study you so hard that you’ll probably drip tears all over your lecture notes.”
“Sure.”
“I’m going to be the best studier that ever... studied.”
“So shouldn’t you start...?”
“I will!” she insisted, taking a deep breath before positioning her fingers above her keyboard. “I’m just getting myself ready.”
Max shook his head slightly as he shot her an amused expression. “Gotcha.”
“...Should we go to Taco Bell and get a studying snack?”
“Riley!”
“I’m just trying to feed my brain,” she replied with a defensive scoff.
“Stop trying to sidetrack me right now,” Max pleaded, a pained grin on his face. “Make Evan go with you if you really want a burrito that badly.”
“Are you suggesting that I abandon my studying to go and get a burrito?” Riley asked, an innocent expression on her face.
“What?” Max asked in confusion.
“Are you trying to distract me from my studies right now?” she sarcastically added.
“Max, if you could please be quiet, that’d be great,” Riley chirped out before pulling a notebook out of her bag. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a surprise to earn.”
Twenty-six
“Can you stop tapping your pen so damn loudly?”
Riley narrowed her eyes at Max, making sure to rap the end of her highlighter against the table with extra force as she did. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Have you always been this annoying?” Max mumbled as the couple sitting at the next table over glared at the two of them in irritation.
“You act as if you’re meeting me for the first time,” Riley retorted in a loud whisper.
Max let out a tiny groan, avoiding the peeved stares being shot in their direction as he pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and tried to concentrate on his textbook.
“Psst!”
Just ignore her, he instructed himself, not bothering to lift his head as Riley attempted to draw his attention. It’s like raising a child—just ignore her and she’ll eventually have to stop.
“Psst! Max!”
The sound of a laptop being slammed shut could be heard from a few feet away, along with the aggravated grumbling of their neighbors. “Don’t they know this is a fucking library?” the girl quietly groaned out as she and her boyfriend gathered their belongings and moved to an empty table at the other end of the room.
“Riley,” Max hissed as he turned to her with a frown. “People are trying to study!”
“I know,” she mouthed, her face scrunched up in pain. “I can’t concentrate!”
“I wonder why,” he muttered under his breath as he turned back to his reading.
“Max,” Riley whined out, kicking his shins under the table. “Let’s take a break.”
Don’t give in, Max silently yelled to himself, drawing his legs back so they were a safe distance away from her belligerent feet. Just pretend you don’t hear her. Don’t—
As he looked up and saw her pouting face, however, he couldn’t resist but break out into a smile, shrugging his shoulders in defeat as he found himself saying, “Fine, but only ten minutes.”
What the fuck, Fletcher, he scolded himself as Riley let out a happy giggle and began packing up her things. Are you really going to let her jerk you around like that? he demanded inwardly, though he couldn’t help but grin as she grabbed for his hand like a giddy little girl.
“Oh, God, I thought my brain was going to melt,” Riley moaned once they passed through the library’s front doors. “I don’t think I have the mental stamina to pull an all-nighter.”
“We’ve only been studying for half an hour,” Max reminded her with a frown.
“That’s twenty minutes too many,” Riley sighed dramatically, pulling him by the hand in the direction of the coffeehouse on campus. “I need to pump myself with a gallon of caffeine if you’re going to subject me to that kind of torture for even a minute longer.”
“How did you make it through college again?”
“Ha ha ha,” Riley sarcastically drawled out as they queued up at the end of the line. “Midterms are such a waste of time. Why do I need to learn how to graph a quadratic equation anyway? Shouldn’t they be teaching me how to balance a checkbook or exaggerate my way through job interviews instead?”
“It’s not like you’d study for either of those anyway,” he muttered under his breath, to which she shot him a petulant glare.
“Why’d you order a milkshake?” Max asked with a confused expression once they had stepped out of the café and into the warm springtime air. “I thought you said you needed coffee.”
“Um, because I’m not 40 years old?” Riley retorted, shoving her straw towards Max’s mouth. “Try it!”
“Ugh,” Max groaned, shaking his head. “That’s, like, pure sugar.”
“That’s the point, Max,” Riley replied matter-of-factly, waving the cup in his face as he backed away with a grimace.
“No way.”
“Come on!” she insisted, letting out an amused laugh. “It’s a lot better than that shit you’re drinking!”
“Fine,” he said with a smirk, leaning in for a kiss before she had time to react.
Riley instinctively drew in her breath as Max took her lips in his, her eyes fluttering closed before he slowly pulled away.
“You were right,” he whispered, an amused look on his face. “It’s good.”
“Blargh!” Riley blurted out, making a show of wiping at her mouth as her cheeks burned in embarrassment. “What... Why... Ugh! Now all I taste is burnt coffee!”
“You want more?” Max teased as he began moving his face closer to hers again.
“What the fuck.”
At the sound of Noah’s voice, both of them froze in place, neither daring to turn their heads in his direction. Riley’s eyes trembled nervously as they stared into Max’s own, the skin on the back of her neck prickling in horror as Noah’s angry voice rang out again.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Max let out a shaky breath as he lifted his eyes to meet Noah’s stony stare. “Bro, I—”
“You’re fucking serious?”
“Look, we—”
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me,” Noah spat out, not bothering to even cast a glance at his ex-girlfriend as he continued to shoot a menacing glare at his supposed best friend.
Riley felt her stomach flip uncomfortably as she saw the tension between the two. “Noah, it just happened. Both of us—”
“Riley, stop,” Noah cut her off, not taking his eyes off of Max for even a second.
“But, Noah—”
“So, was this your plan all along?” Noah asked, his upper lip curling into a tiny snarl.
Max could feel his stomach churn uncomfortably, desperately wishing that Noah wouldn’t say anything fucked up or incriminating. “No, it’s not like—”
“You wanted to steal my girlfriend?” Noah demanded, letting out a disbelieving scoff. “What do you think this is? Some shitty movie?”
“Steal your girlfriend?” Max sputtered out, his face scrunching in distaste. “Dude, you were the one who left—”
“Is this why you told me I should cheat on her?”
“Wh... what?” Riley asked in a barely audible whisper.
“I... You and I both know that that’s not what happened,” Max choked out, returning Noah’s fierce gaze with just as much animosity as was being directed towards himself. He wanted desperately to turn to Riley and explain to her the entire story, but he couldn’t bring himself to face her for fear of seeing the look of hurt that would likely be in her eyes.
“I never thought that you’d ever do something this fucked up,” Noah said in a cold voice. “And after all of those times that I told you I still loved her?”
“Dude, you never even said th—”
“What are you talking about?” Noah bitterly cut him off. “That’s all I’ve been saying these past few weeks!”
“What?” Max snapped back, thoroughly peeved by all of the bullshit that was spewing out of Noah’s mouth. “You said it once. I’ve barely even seen you this past month!”
“And I guess I finally know why,” Noah said in disgust, tilting his head to glance over at Riley for dramatic effect.
Except that the spot in which she had been standing was now empty.
“Fuck!” Max groaned out, craning his neck around to see if she was still nearby. When he realized that she was long gone, he began heading off in the direction of the parking lot so that he could begin his search for her. He had only taken a few steps, however, before Noah firmly shoved his arm against his chest.
“Just so you know,” Noah began, letting out an indignant scoff as he coldly stared him down. “We’re done.”
“Like I even care,” Max mumbled under his breath, pushing past his former friend with as much force as he could muster before chasing after the girl of his dreams.
Twenty-seven
“Riley. Riley, open the door.”
“Go away, Maxhole!” Audrey loudly shrieked out, prompting Liz to shoot her an irritated glare.
“I just want to explain my side of the story,” Max’s muffled voice pleaded from the other side of the door.
Liz turned to Riley with a crooked frown. “Are you going to talk to him?”
Instead of providing a verbal response, Riley chose to let out a long groan before burying her head under the pile of pillows next to them.
“So, I take that as a ‘no’?”
“Riley,” Max’s voice called out again. “Come on! I have a surprise for you!”
“Tell him to go home before I call the cops,” Riley mumbled from where she lay.
“Call the cops and say what? ‘Excuse me, sirs, there’s a really annoying boy standing in front of my door asking me to love him’?” Liz teased as she nudged Riley’s legs with her foot.
“He’s really persistent,” Audrey noted, turning to gaze over at the front door. “It’s just like a movie.”
“What the hell are you blabbering about?” Liz asked in annoyance.
“You know,” Audrey began with a sigh. “Men in movies are always the best at groveling and saying sorry. It’s so romantic! But guys in real life barely make the effort, even when they’re the ones who majorly fucked up!”
“The fact that his banging just might break down our door and make us lose our security deposit is romantic to you?” Liz responded, cocking an eyebrow at her swooning roommate.
“Well, no. It’s actually kind of giving me a headache,” Audrey replied, a tiny frown on her lips. “But it does show that he cares!”
“Who cares if he cares?” Riley growled out, sitting herself upright with a giant scowl on her face. “Does he really care? Does he? How can you say that he cares when he told my boyfriend to cheat on me?!”
“Do you care?” Liz cautiously asked.
“Do I care about what?” Riley snapped back.
“Do you care that he told Noah to cheat on you? I mean, do you even care about Noah anymore?”