Gregory has asked me numerous times now if I’d like to be based in New York City permanently. I’ve told him several times no, arguing there’s no better team than the one I’ve got in London (it’s true). But the truth is, I’m just not ready to commit to anything. I’m not ready to give up on my dream of one day being reunited with Chloe and being best friends in the city again; even if we wouldn’t be living together, at least I’d have her nearby.
After I leave the shower, my phone rings and it’s Tom.
Fuck, me.
He must know I’m out of the country because he’s calling me on WhatsApp.
“Hey, Tom. Bloody hell, mate.”
“Hi beautiful, how are you?”
“Surprised to hear from you. And just about to go to bed.”
“Yeah, I heard you’re out in the Big Apple a lot lately.”
“Yeah… it’s going well. How are you?”
“Oh, you know, still me,” he laughs, with some sadness. “Anyway, did you hear Theo’s mum died?”
“Oh my god, when?”
“Last weekend or something. The funeral is in a week. Will you be in the UK?”
“Yeah, should be. Does he want people there?”
“I don’t know, I think so. I had this idea of us all going to support him, you know?”
“That’s nice.”
I think I’m the only one apart from the guys who knows about Tom and Helen, Chloe’s mum. I once walked in on them in her bedroom, but they never saw me. I’ve kept my mouth shut for years. I suppose, firstly to protect Chloe, secondly, to protect Tom.
That bitch Helen needs some prison time or else a chastity belt, the dirty old whore. I’ve always hated her guts… the way Chloe always tried to be a good daughter and even looked up to Helen in a way, only for Helen to always throw it back in her face and disappoint Chloe. I guess that’s why me and Chlo have always been so close.
“So, you’ll come?”
“If I’m around and work’s not too mad, of course.”
“Great, I know he’ll appreciate it.”
He goes quiet and I feel like he’s going to end it there, when I quickly ask, “Tom, how are things? Are you doing alright?”
“I’m okay,” he says, “I’m getting there.”
“Good, I’m glad. I don’t like to think of you out in the world… alone and stuff. You’re alright, Tom, you know? Anytime you need an ear, I’m here.”
“You’re alright, Sass. You know? The others say you’re cold, but you’re alright, you know?”
“Oh, baby Tom, I am cold! But I also have the ability to keep secrets of my own. Trust me when I say, I really do understand, okay?”
He’s silent for half a minute at least. “Thanks, Sass.”
“Pick me up in a limo?”
“What else?” he says, chuckling. “Laters.”
“Bye, darl.”
I’ve always had a massive soft spot for Tom, with his light-brown eyes and scruffy, blond hair. He’s a beautiful soul beneath it all. He’s never once been disrespectful to any of the girls and I know, deep down, all he wants is to be loved. He never got that from his weirdo, detached, genius parents, who never should’ve had a kid because they were too selfish. I mean, for fuck’s sake, they didn’t even notice he’d become an addict and was in a relationship with a much older woman. Abusive, no less.
***
I’m peeing in the upstairs toilet at Allegra’s house, which feels a bit like a museum, with all her photos everywhere and all her stuff, like it’s not been touched since she died and has been left exactly as she would have liked it… weird clown ornaments included.
Theo’s eulogy at the funeral even brought a tear to my eye. I can see why Lily’s marrying him… having his baby. He’s a real man. He’s the type I’d give up everything for. I mean, everything. I’d quit work, I’d have his babies, I’d be his maid, his personal assistant, his travel manager. Whatever, just as long as it made him happy. He’s a real, verifiable, proper man who puts his heart out there and inspires even the likes of me to want to find something real. Something loving.
I hear a door open and close on the landing and leave the bathroom, heading towards where the noise just came from to check it isn’t somebody stealing off with some of Allegra’s stuff.
I discover Lily trying to make herself comfortable on Allegra’s old four-poster bed, her body exhausted, her eyes barely even open though she undoubtedly knows I’m here.
I shut the door behind me and sit on the edge of the bed, feeling her forehead. “You’re roasting, my love.”
“I know, it’s damn annoying being roasting hot, even in bloody March.”
“Just let yourself relax and have a little nap.”
“I’m going to,” she says.
“Do you want me to go? Or stay with you for a bit?”
“Stay,” she says. “It was good of Tom to round everyone up.”
“He called me a week ago actually. I do worry about him. He does care, you know. Feels like something is always keeping him away.”
She opens one eye and stares at me. “You know, don’t you?”
“Yeah. If it’s what I think you think I know.”
“Helen,” she whispers.
“Oh my god.”
She sits up, horrified. “This goes no further… but me and Theo were in the Bahamas for Christmas and we fucking saw them. We fucking saw them, babe.”
I cover my face with both hands. “You’re joking. It’s still been going on?”
“He saw us and spoke with Theo, promised he was going to end it. Theo warned there were soon going to be too many people who know… and it’d get back to Chloe.”
I can’t help shaking my head. “This will kill her.”
“I know, right? Tom doesn’t even love her. He’s just weirdly attracted to her. Don’t ask me why. It’s just this fucked-up thing. I don’t know. I mean, I just don’t know. And the worst thing? She has a boyfriend apparently. But Tom still takes her away for these sex holidays.”
I eye her perceptively. “You’re telling me you went to a nude resort, aren’t you?”
Lily frowns for a second. “Okay, no—”
“Lily Ann! You dirty hoe!”
She slaps my hand. “Well, it got me pregnant, didn’t it?” I laugh in her face. “And we weren’t staying on the nude resort, but they were. We were just there to try it out. You know how free Theo’s always been… I wanted to try it out for myself.”
“You’re a rotten bitch, Lily.” I smack her arm playfully and laugh with her.
“So… how’s New York been?”
“Oh my god, hun. The men… the bloody men. I mean!”
She frowns. “What about that guy from the wedding? What was his name…?”
“Robert.”
“Yeah, he was handsome.”
“Yeah, he was. He was also married.”
“Shut up!”
“Claimed he was separating, but yeah…”
Lily looks around us, as if checking for hidden listening devices, when she leans in like a secret agent and whispers, “I bet you can’t guess who else is heading in that direction?”
“Who? Oh my god. Who?”
I’m bloody well hoping she’s going to say Chloe… maybe even her and Theo, so I could get a ride on his pogo stick.
“You didn’t hear, did you? About Susan telling Adam his swimmers weren’t working… but it’s actually her with the issue. She made him think he was infertile. And they’ve had two rounds of IVF, at least. No success. She’s got a face like a slapped arse today because you and Marie are here. It just won’t last, Sass. It just won’t. I’m only just engaged and she’s already sending me links to wedding places and stuff. I can’t handle it. I can barely keep my eyes open right now. And I don’t want a big wedding!”
I stroke her hair and get her to lie down. “Don’t worry about that bitch, I always knew she’d get what’s coming to her.”
“What do you mean? What do you
know?”
“Chloe never said?”
“NO! What?”
“Susan threatened her, said she knew about them… Chloe and Adam, fucking in the past… said if it ever happened again, she’d have her done over and nobody would ever find out.”
Lily starts shaking her head. “We’d better be ready then. If things do go tits up, she’s going to go mental and you know she is.”
“Can’t fucking believe she did that to him.”
“I know, it’s just… awful. And I really think if I asked her to organise my wedding, she would. And it’d be all her own way. It’s just insane. She doesn’t understand boundaries.”
“Well, for what it’s worth I think you and Theo should do it properly. He’s the love of your life and what you have is special, Lil.”
“You think so?” She seems a little teary.
“Yes, of course I do. You’d also make the most beautiful bride and I just know Theo secretly would love to show you off. It’s so obvious. He’s mad for you.”
“I’m lucky,” she says, her eyes falling slowly shut.
“I envy it, Lil,” I confess, but when I get no response from her, I get up quietly and leave her to sleep. The poor thing is knackered. Believe me, I would be, too. I’d be riding a man like Theo day and night. Losing my virginity opened up this whole new me and now I understand what all the fuss is about.
I leave the room and quietly shut the door, surprised when I discover Susan exiting the bathroom just as I’m exiting the master suite.
I stand, arms folded, much taller than her and with much thicker limbs… all the better for scrapping. I wait for her to leave this space so she can go down the stairs first. Wouldn’t put it past her…
Instead, she walks up to me and looks up into my eyes. I’m five-eight and wearing four-inch heels. She’s five-six and wearing flats. She smiles at me, the corners of her mouth twitching with the effort it requires.
“Pouring lies in Lily’s ears about me, I expect?”
“No, we weren’t even talking about you, but you’d love it if that were the case, wouldn’t you?”
This bitch, a beautiful psycho though she may be, isn’t quite in the same league as me. This trollop would be trod all over in London. She stays here because she’s safe and because these humble people don’t see what lurks beneath, but I do. She hates that I can see right through her.
“Was I right about you, then?” She’s almost standing on tiptoes, trying to match my height, her body leaning forward but not touching me, just in my personal space a bit much, that’s all.
“Right about what?”
“At the wedding, Robert said he thought you would be up for it. I said I knew a virgin when I met one.”
I can’t hide my hot cheeks, but I can safely counteract her now.
“Funny, all the men I’ve slept with in New York might have to disagree with you.”
“Hmm.” She has a rotten, smarmy look in her eyes and a foul confidence about her jumping shoulders. Her tongue is also clucking in her mouth. She’s showing me the real Susan because she knows I’m a fellow bitch, a bigger bitch actually. Poor Susan, maybe nobody but me can see how evil she really is beneath that act of hers.
“Anyway, so what if I was?”
She grins sadistically. “I knew he wanted a virgin. His marriage was for show… still is, so I’m told. He went back to her, if it matters at all to you. I know he gets his virgins, though. Maybe when she’s at work and he’s on a rest day. Oh, isn’t he charming and handsome? And a fucking freak,” she snarls.
“Ah, he was a dog, then.”
“Really thought you’d bite that little worm and get caught. Cleverer than you look. Strange, considering how trashy you dress.”
The muscles in my calves tighten as I raise myself to my highest possible height.
“So, tell me, Suzie. How the hell did you know I was a virgin?”
“That attitude… it’s fooling no-one. Besides, it was a hunch.”
I stare at her, never blinking. Meanwhile she blinks several times.
“Lily and Theo are getting married soon and you do know what that means?” I taunt her, smiling like a mischievous cat. She shakes her head, side to side.
“Well, it means Chloe will be back for it. And there’s only one thing she will want to do when she returns.”
“Shut up,” she growls.
“What do you think that is, Suzie? Hmm? What?”
“She’s not fucking him, I won’t let him.”
I throw my head back, laughing manically.
“You think so small, woman. So small. She couldn’t care less for Adam. She’s got a fucking beefcake now. No. That’s not what I meant. What I’m saying, and what your tiny mind can’t fathom, is that above all else, she’s a seeker of justice. And when she hears about what you’ve done to Adam, she’s going to bring you down. Don’t worry your little head any more, because soon you won’t have to worry about a thing. It’ll all be taken care of for you… in prison.”
She lashes out but I catch her hand in my grip and squeeze hard. I have a strength in my body and in my heart she could only dream of. We’re from two different worlds – she has no idea of the trials and the trouble I went through to find a place for myself. She only got Adam because she conned her way inside his heart… but she certainly hasn’t fooled any of the rest of us.
“Watch your back,” she snarls, “watch your fucking back. You won’t know when I’m coming for you, Saskia. But I will come for you. All of you. If he leaves me, I will make sure each and every one of you pays. And I will enjoy every second of your pain… including his. Nobody betrays me. Nobody.”
I lick my lips and lean in a little so she can feel my breath on her face. “Nobody gives a fuck about a bitch once she has no mystery… and your foul secrets are too big to hide forever. You will come undone and I will be there, with bells on, when you do.”
She tries to trip me up by kicking my ankle but I reach out for the bannister rail and just manage to stop myself falling flat on my back.
Oh my god, what an absolute cunt.
I’m texting on my phone in the kitchen… pinging ideas back and forth to my staff, our group chat on fire, when Adam walks in. He looks good in a suit but he also looks unkempt. His wavy hair is bunched around his ears like he’s missed a couple of haircuts now and he’s even stopped shaving, his uneven stubble making him look like a hobo. I bristle at the memory of the convo I had with his wife, not more than half an hour ago. I’d have already left this shit-tip already if Tom wasn’t my ride back to London – and he’s currently outside on the lawn gassing with Theo.
“Hey, Sass, how’s you? What you doing these days?” The poor bloke tries to sound cheerful and upbeat but I can tell he’s beaten up and drained, inside. He’s not the fun and silly guy he used to be, that’s for sure. There’s hope, however; I see the way he’s looking at me… like he’s not completely dead inside. Poor Susan, how it must pain her he’s still a walking, talking human being and not a complete automaton… yet.
“I’m still in branding, how about you?” I try to seem like I’m not upset about anything… like the tang of Susan’s Issey Miyake isn’t still haunting my nostrils. I used to wear that myself until discovering it was her fragrance, too. These days I stick to Dior, Chanel or Armani… anything she wouldn’t touch because she picked her poison years ago and people like her never change – ever.
“I’m freelance now. Various things, but most journals. Seems to be working out for me.”
“Good for you.” Bless him, trying to make small talk.
He offers me some champagne but I decline. “I’m not into bubbles really.”
“So, Tom came and found you, huh?” He throws back half a glass of bubbles and stares into the distance, as if not really partaking of this conversation.
“He promised to take us all out tonight if we came,” I lie, because I don’t want him to think I care… because if I care… that makes me vulnerable in th
e eyes of Susan.
To my horror, he side-eyes me as if he doesn’t believe me to be so shallow.
“Where’s the wife?” I ask bluntly, changing the subject.
“Taking a call.”
I see him staring at my ring finger and something about his look makes me uncomfortable. Is he surprised I’m not married yet, or insinuating there’s a reason why I’m not?
“I notice she’s still psychotic,” I murmur, but instead of getting upset, all he does is smirk.
“Still believing everything Chloe tells you?”
Oh, wow. This guy really is in denial. Fuck me, is he in denial. I don’t know what to feel, maybe pity, maybe sadness… confusion, more than anything… that he could be so blind.
I keep my tone even and my expression vacant, only blinking twice as I look right at him. “What I see, and what is true, are the same thing; and my thoughts on this matter are mine and mine alone. It’s irrelevant what Chlo said or didn’t say, everyone can see for themselves what Susan is really like. Fair enough, you and Chloe were messing about, you were kids. It was what it was. But your wife, she knew straight away there’d been heat between you and Chlo, sussed it out, locked onto it and made sure Chloe knew that if she ever came between you and her, Chloe would pay in ways she couldn’t imagine.” I see him gulp; hopefully he knows I have no reason to stir an already bubbling pot. “Your wife is a huntress, Adam and you were primed for the kill. The ultimate hot geek with a lot of horn and a little ambition. She took advantage and now here you are.”
Just the thought of that woman makes my blood run cold and my stomach hurt. I take a crisp from a serving bowl and bite into it sharply, trying not only to stem my hunger for something more substantial than finger food, but also cover over my weariness of all of this… a situation I saw coming a mile off.
I leave Adam where he is. If he doesn’t want any help and he can’t see what’s right in front of him, what are the rest of us meant to do? Wait until it all implodes, I guess.
I find Tom outside on the lawn and whisper in his ear, “Really need to go, Tom. Had a run-in with Bitch Numero Uno.”
Bad Guys Page 7