I pick up the envelope and stand. “I’ll think of something to say and just hope she gives him the settlement he deserves and fucks off out of his life.”
“I’m sorry, Saskia,” Theo says.
“Me too.”
I leave the theatre, tears streaming down my face as I go.
I leave my office late and decide to visit the evil bitch on an empty stomach. I just hope she has vodka. I figure seven in the evening is a good time to arrive at her place. She will have her dirty work out of the way and likely she’ll be eating dinner in front of the TV before starting her make-up routine for later tonight, assuming Thursday night is one of her nights on the town.
A taxi drops me outside her building and I walk to the entrance, find her flat number and press the buzzer. The name on the wall is something Polish, but it might not be her maiden name… it could be her sugar daddy’s, who knows?
Her face pops up on the screen and she looks utterly shocked to see me standing on her doorstep.
“Saskia,” she breathes. “What on earth can I do for you?”
Good, she looks truly shocked to see I found her.
“Just wanted a little girly chat. Don’t worry, I’m not armed.”
She pulls a sour face. “You’d better come in.”
I walk through the door and up the stairs. When I get to the door of her apartment it’s already open.
I follow the scent of Issey Miyake and discover her in the kitchen, a silk dressing gown draped around her dainty shoulders, a mass of hair piled on top of her head and her attention on a salad she’s mixing in a big bowl.
“Would you like something to eat?” she asks, almost innocently.
“I have a work dinner later,” I lie.
“Oh yes? Something to do with your departure to New York?”
I try to control my anger, but it bubbles beneath the surface of my cheeks.
“Something like that,” I tell her.
“So, let’s get you on your way,” she tells me, not meeting my eye. “What is it you want?”
“In a sentence?”
She gesticulates she’s open to that, nodding.
“A little bit of fucking respect,” I spit.
She finally looks up at me, standing tall in heels, and fuck if I don’t feel dangerous right now.
I pull the brown envelope from my bag and slam it on her tabletop.
She stares at it hard, then once she’s got her urges under control, she snaps it off the counter and pulls out the contents.
After she’s calmly surveyed what I have, I tell her, “My brother is in the police in Scotland but he has some friends high up here. Let’s not guess as to how I got these, let’s just say I have my ways. Anyway, there’s two ways this can go. One, you can do as I say and these people you’re beholden to won’t discover how much of a sloppy conspirator you are when they get a knock on their door from a couple of detectives. Or two, you can try to mess with me some more and find out what else I can do.”
“You’re bluffing,” she says, “this is all you have. These don’t prove anything.”
I throw my head back laughing, playing her at her own game. “Well, I found you, didn’t I? I got these, didn’t I? If you don’t leave Adam the fuck alone and stop tormenting Lily’s flowerpots, I will keep up my surveillance and I will discover what else you get up to… because people like you always slip up eventually. And let’s just say, I don’t think Boris would enjoy pictures of his darling daughter trussed up for society in leather or PVC, parading herself about like some madam, would he?”
At that, she turns and scorns me with an evil glare. “I should’ve known better than to send a stupid little boy in to do a woman’s job.”
“You should have. Robert is a child. As if he fooled me.” Well, he did, actually… but she doesn’t know that.
She pours herself some wine and throws it back, guzzling it down in big mouthfuls.
How I would hate to be her.
“And what will you do?” she asks, breathless. “If I leave Adam alone?”
“I’m leaving for the US. I have no intention of staying. He picked Paul over me. As if I intend to hang around for someone as pathetic as that.”
Her lip curls and she agrees, “See, that’s what I had to put up with. Someone so… indifferent.”
“He still doesn’t deserve you going after him. Let him be. Let him figure things out for himself and stay away from him.”
She grinds her teeth and throws back some more wine. “It’s not that easy.”
“Why?” I demand. “Why?”
“I really loved him,” she says, even managing a couple of crocodile tears. “Adam is the most glorious lover as I’m sure you well know, but I loved him. In ways you could never imagine.”
“And that dark side of you… why did you never tell him about that?”
She shakes her head. “He’d have run a mile, and you know it.”
“I don’t know, he seemed to forgive a lot.”
“No, he’s not into the same stuff as me.”
“And the IVF?” I throw it out there, shaking my head.
Her eyes darken and she seems to go into herself. “If you ever, ever find yourself in the same position as me – wanting something so badly but knowing your body will never provide – then I pray, and I really mean this, I really pray you even feel a tenth of the pain I have. Wanting, hoping, wishing… your hopes constantly dashed. Adam does the right thing by people because that’s who he is. But he didn’t want IVF. He didn’t want a baby. How was I to know that before we got married? As far as I knew, he was okay doing it without protection and risking pregnancy… but he never, ever really wanted a kid.”
I could tell her it wasn’t as simple as that; as he got to know her better, he realised he didn’t want a kid with her. But if I say that, I’d only be pouring more salt into open wounds. Instead, I can use this moment to secure a settlement – right here, right now – that will alleviate this mess for all.
“You’re right, he doesn’t want kids. He should’ve been honest with you. I don’t want kids so it would have been okay by me, if not for him being so fucking pally with that twat Paul.”
She briefly smiles but it’s quickly replaced by disdain again. “Paul and him deserve one another. Now, if you’re done, you can get out.”
“And you’ll stay away from him… leave him alone? Give him what he wants in the settlement?”
She tips her head forward. “If you promise to leave the country.”
“Fine,” I say without hesitation. “And Lily?”
“That dried-up hag? Couldn’t care less about her. Must have been cats rustling around her flowerpots.”
I eye her closely. She’s lying. I think Lily is still raw for her. Lily is the one thing she really wanted but never had…
A friend, a sister… a kind heart.
“So we have a deal?” I reiterate.
“We do.”
I pick up the envelope and start to walk away, when she says, “Did you like the way he licks pussy? I taught him all of that, you know.”
“You also taught him how to lie, you know? He wasn’t capable of that before you.”
I walk away and leave her to think about that.
Some of us love enough to know what’s best for someone.
Some of us love enough that moments last a lifetime…
All Susan will ever have of Adam is shreds of truth, nothing more.
I know who he really is… I loved him, absolutely.
I will always love him.
I get home to my apartment and head straight for the freezer, pulling out vodka and tipping it down my throat straight out of the bottle.
Done, I text Theo.
Had she been terrorising Lily?
She didn’t admit it, but I reckon so. She seemed raw about Lily, like it’s more personal than Adam, even x
Hmm…
I wouldn’t cease what you’re doing… she really doesn’t care for herself. She has nothing to liv
e for but stirring up trouble x
At least now, we know. She can’t be trusted…
Theo, look. I have to go to NYC. Or she won’t leave Adam alone. All she cares about is he’s not with anyone else. Or her vindictiveness might get worse x
I’m so sorry, Saskia x
Me too x
If it had been anyone but you x
Why’d you say that?
She knows there’s no way she could compete?
Maybe…
I think we know. Take care, Sass. Won’t forget this. Also, I’ll take care of him until you get back. And please, let me worry about her. I’ve got it x
You’re alright you know, wanker x
Cheers, Sass x
I plonk myself down on my sofa.
And then I cry.
And I cry…
…and I cry.
To be continued…
The Bad Series continues with
BAD LOVER
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Thank You
I really hope you enjoyed this book and that you will visit Amazon or Goodreads to show it some love with a review. What I can promise you as this series progresses is that you will be hooked, shocked and surprised as we venture further into these people’s lives.
I wrote these books to be binged, to be enjoyed, to be devoured and re-read as you come to discover more and more about everyone involved.
I promise a journey you will never forget.
Sarah x
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