Dave Dawson Over Berlin

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by R. Sidley Bohlen


  I am not such a bad sort, truly. And kindly do not assume I harbor

  sadistic and depraved tendencies. Those are scurrilous rumors, and,

  of course, totally baseless. While it is the case that I am a senior

  Gestapo interrogator, and jawohl, as such that does indeed

  grant me license to inflict carefully calibrated dosages of physical

  discomfort under carefully controlled circumstances, it is all a part of

  my duty. I do not enjoy it. Believe me, I most assuredly do not. Think

  of me as if I were a physician who administers painful procedures for

  the greater good. And in any case I am only following orders.

  I joined the Party in 1930, but only because I saw it as an opportunity

  to better myself. It is quite true that I am ambitious, and I need

  not apologize for that. I did not ever believe all that tommyrot about

  racial superiority, but it is quite useful for mobilizing the masses

  and uniting the Fatherland, as our Propaganda Minister has so aptly

  demonstrated. I will admit to harboring a grudge of sorts against the

  Amerikaner and their mongrelized nation of of peddlers, jazz musicians,

  and hooligans. I can tell you that a certain guttersnipe Amerikaner,

  one R. S. Bowen, shot down my Gotha bomber in the waning days of the

  Great War, and that is why my face is so scarred and disfigured. Should

  fortune ever deliver him into my hands, I would most certainly dispose

  of this fellow and I would likely roughly handle any of his infamous

  underlings and associates. I understand he has scribbled quite a

  number of foolish books, and our movement will ensure that each and

  every one of these corrosively evil tomes will be piled in a heap and

  burnt to cinders when the Thousand Year Reich subdues and occupies

  decadent Amerika.

  "While we are on the subject of military arcana, my good sir, kindly tell us all you know about a device referred to as a 'cavity magnetron.' And as we are in such a talkative frame of mind, perhaps we might also discuss a certain 'Golf, Cheese, and Chess Society' located in a park in Bletchley." Cheese and chess? What in the blazes did that have to do with the price of tea in China? It was an enigma. Wait. Enigma! Where had he heard that? Something to do with Ultra, a mysterious group working on a German ciphering machine, and this eccentric mathematician, somebody by the name of Boring or Toring or something similar. And then afterwards, what he had subsequently found out . . .

  Freddy gritted his teeth. Must not give way to despair! Must not! The choice was stark. Endure what was euphemistically called "rigorous questioning" with an English stiff upper lip . . . or betray his country and very possibly hand the keys to world conquest to Herr Hitler. That could well spell doom, both for himself, his family, his homeland, and for all he held dear. Was there no way out?

  My name is Freddy Farmer, and I'm a rather ordinary sort of chap, or so

  they tell me. It seems that I was born in Liverpool on a dreary rainy

  day in August of 1923, and that accounts for my sunny disposition. Keeps

  the gloom away, you see. Family tradition has it that we Farmers at one

  time actually made our living as tillers of the soil. We are allegedly

  descended from the landed gentry, in fact, with ancestry reaching back

  to Oliver Cromwell, and beyond that possibly even to Queen Boudica,

  the crazed lady warrior who led the hopeless revolt against the Roman

  invaders. Father was invalided on the Somme in the Great War, after

  that working only sporadically. It's rather difficult finding work as a

  pipefitter with only one functioning arm, you see. That left the family

  in somewhat straitened circumstances, and Fanny and I would endeavor to

  bring in a few pence to supplement the meager family income at whatever

  dribs and drabs of employment there were to be had. Fortunately, I was

  befriended by our neighbors, a certain Mrs. Dowling and her son Willy

  Patrick. They were most kind and generous, especially the missus, who

  would prepare meals for us when our cupboard was bare, as was all too

  often the case in those difficult times. (In her arms I subsequently

  found sustenance of a far different sort, but that's likely a story

  best not told.) She constantly whinged about her absent husband, a

  certain Alois, who had skedaddled back to the Fatherland before the

  War and since then shared his affections at least one other woman,

  wouldn't you know it, and who was allegedly making his fortune there

  due to dubious family connections. It seems that his daft half-brother,

  a housepainter by trade, and rather inept at it, had somehow gotten to

  be put in charge of the entire madhouse. Odd, isn't it, how it came

  about that in the end I was to be captured by the murderous minions

  of the mad brother-in-law of the woman who taught me a thing or three

  about the ways of the world. Somehow, I doubt that the bloke with the

  toothbrush mustache would be greatly amused by the bizarre twists of

  fate that have entangled our respective destinies.

  The interrogator fastidiously removed the monocle from his eye and in a droning monotone repeated the question. "And what exactly do you know about this so-called Manhattan District?" Dave groaned inwardly. This was the secret he had sworn to keep at all costs, even to the point of killing himself rather than be taken prisoner. He couldn't help recalling that night at the wild party in San Diego when that drunken army engineer had begun babbling about some kind of super-explosive that was being worked on in a town in the New Mexico desert. Two shiny hemispheres of a blue-tinged heavy metal slapped together by a shaped charge of high explosive -- like someting out of a lurid scientifiction pulp. And this would supposedly trigger a runaway reaction of atoms exploding like popcorn in a hot skillet, a most horrific thought, that. And a certain chemical plant in Tennessee -- where was it? -- Pine Ridge, or something like that -- where they were working the kinks out of the process of refining a rare variety of a certain radioactive mineral. Why, oh why, had he listened? He must have been out of his head, maybe more than a bit drunk himself. And why hadn't he immediately reported the fool to Military Intelligence? Well, by golly, why should he have? He was Dave Dawson, adventurer, war hero, and son of the highly-decorated Colonel Dawson, and he was too blastedly busy dashing around the world foiling dastardly villains and doing daring death-defying deeds to dirty his hands dealing with the lunatic ravings of a besotted loose-lipped imbecile.

  Growing up in a military family lays a heavy burden of expectations

  on a boy. And when your father helped rescue the Lost Battalion in

  the Meuse Argonne offensive, then folks just naturally assume that

  you'll follow in his heroic footsteps, even if you have no particular

  inclination to. My childhood dream was to become a dynamite real estate

  speculator or dauntless stock market operator, and do nothing much more

  exciting or dangerous with my life than accumulate vast piles of money

  by defying the odds, and become a fabulously wealthy tycoon, in the

  mold of, say, a Joe Kennedy or a Jesse Livermore. But, alas, it was

  not meant to be. Colonel Dawson packed me off to a military academy

  at the tender age of 6, and left me to the tender mercies of petty

  tyrants and cruel martinets who made a fetish of enforcing what they

  euphemistically called martial discipline. Not to mention that my fellow

  inmates at that enlightened center of cultural enrichment compelled

  me to earn my survival with flailing fists and animal cunning. But,


  survive I did and I was shipped out of that marvelous institution of

  higher education just a bit ahead of schedule, thanks to a fortuitous

  expulsion for possession of unauthorized materials -- crossbows, black

  powder explosives, incendiary devices, infernal machines, and the like

  -- not to mention allegedly ruining the headmaster's daughter. (She

  was, in fact, the enthusiastic initiator of certain events, with highly

  unexpected consequences. As I was still hopelessly naive and fatally

  ignorant in matters of the flesh, I foolishly decided to take the fall

  out of misguided romantic illusions or perhaps some anachronistic notion

  of chivalry.) Some months later, I managed to finagle my way back into

  the good graces of Colonel Dawson by infiltrating and exposing a local

  Nazi spy ring, but that's a story for another time.

  "Silence will avail you nothing, my dear Kapitän Dawson. We have certain other sources of intelligence, the product of the most efficient espionage apparatus of all time. We therefore know about the secret installation in your American state of New Mexico. Our agents have penetrated deep into each and every nook and cranny of your military and industrial establishments, and all we require from you at this time is confirmation of what we have already found out. And, of course, since you were most unfortunately out of uniform when captured, it is permissible for you to be shot as a spy, as you are well aware. Come, come, Dawson. This is the real world of dirty war and murderous, cold-blooded violence and very final death, not some frivolous novel written for light-hearted schoolboys."

  Cold sweat had soaked all the way through the coarse fabric of Dave's borrowed German military fatigue, both front and back. Shot as a spy? Would his long series of glorious adventures end ingloriously in front of a firing squad on the bloodstained cobblestones in the courtyard in a squalid Gestapo prison? Could he face death as courageously as the storybook hero people expected him to be? Was this the end of Dave Dawson?

  COULD THIS REALLY BE THE END?

  It doesn't have to be. Dave Dawson and Freddy Farmer are clever fellows, and they've figured their way out of tight jams before. With a little help from the author, they might be able to do so once more. In fact, Mr. Bohlen has the crazy notion of possibly sending our two heroes back over Berlin on yet another secret bombing mission, this time to extinguish evil Herr Adolph while he's cowering in his underground bunker with his depraved minions. Assuming that Dave and Freddy manage to evade their captors and make their way back to freedom, of course. And assuming that there's enough of a popular outcry for the continuation of this yarn.

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  Writing is such bleak, lonely, ill-paying work . . .

 

 

 

 


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