by Shae Mills
Korba nodded. “But the arm was gone?”
Dar shrugged dolefully. “No, it would have been much easier had it been. As it was, I made it to the fighters, but I was sure I was dead. My hand was hanging from burnt shards of flesh and bone. I wrapped a tourniquet around it and dived for a fighter. As I jettisoned out, RIBUS 8 exploded. How the fighter made it through the debris will forever be a mystery. When the smoke cleared, so to speak, Talon’s men had departed the vicinity, their focus then on you and RIBUS 10. I was in space, alone, wounded, with nothing within reach to help myself. I thought of reengaging as many of Talon’s men as I could in order to aid you, but I had lost too much blood. I drifted about for a long time looking for survivors from my ship, but there were none that I could find. And even if I had, I was in no position to help them.”
Chelan squirmed. “But your arm—you were bleeding this whole time?”
“The tourniquet was stemming the flow, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I lost the arm completely. I would lose it either from the extensive damage or due to the lack of blood flow from having to leave the tourniquet on. Without immediate surgery, the arm was doomed either way. And I had other wounds. I actually have no idea how long I drifted in space, or in what direction. I was in and out of consciousness. But at one point, I looked at my sensors, and there she was. The carcass of RIBUS 7 loomed before me. She had been downed weeks before, long since abandoned by Talon’s forces. But sensors showed a spark of life within her, and I took it.”
“Where did you stay?” Korba asked.
“The one remaining engine room for a time. Aft hangar 36 was still unbreached. I landed there and made it on supplemental oxygen to the engine room. That is where I repaired my arm.”
Chelan flinched. “You what? How?”
“I concentrated on slowing my heart and reducing my blood flow. I severed all the dead flesh with my knife. The bone was shattered, so that was not a problem. I cauterized the stump with my lazgun. Then I released the tourniquet and hoped for the best.”
Chelan felt her stomach knot. “The pain...”
Dar shook his head. “My body was going in and out of shock from the blood loss, Chelan. Even though the flow had been stopped earlier, I was in space for days without food or water, and my body was shutting down. My mind simply worked mechanically. And if truth be told, at the time I honestly did not care if I succeeded in saving myself. Trying was just an action to take. I hardly felt a thing. And the lazgun baked any contaminants, I surmise, as there was no infection. In the end, I could have accessed any number of remaining supplies from the medical centers if I had needed to. Mind you, the next few weeks were no fun. That is when the pain from the nerve damage set in. To survive, I had to work. I had to find water and food. I had to move debris to get around, and to do all that, I had to rebuild myself. My will to live ebbed many a time. But sometimes the pain spurred me on out of desperation. And when I became too tired, the pain defeated me, and I slept.” His voice became soft and low. “Each time I closed my eyes, I did so with you on my mind and in my heart. And each time I slept, when I thought I would never awaken, I had only to think of you, and I carried on.”
Chelan looked away, willing herself to stay strong.
Korba leaned forward. “May I see the arm?”
Dar hesitated, his eyes darting to Chelan once again. Then he stared at Korba. “I am no surgeon, my Lord. It is not a pretty sight.”
Chelan nodded. “It is all right. I am past anything shaking me further.”
Dar havered and then shrugged out of his shroud. He undid his uniform jacket. Korba squatted before him and helped ease the uniform off. Chelan bit her lip as she watched. The stump was only about ten centimeters below the shoulder. The flesh looked red and melted, as it would have been from the lazgun. His muscles were nearly nonexistent, the right shoulder diminished from lack of use. But every other part of him was still flawless, masculine perfection.
Korba looked at him. “Can you move it?”
“Marginally. The shoulder works but there is not much to work on.”
“Chelan told you about the Cleosans. We consulted with them, not revealing the potential patient of course. May I make some arrangements?”
Chelan held her breath, positive he had cut his arrival time close so as to refuse treatment. She waited anxiously for his reply.
Dar nodded. “That is why I finally came. I will give it a try.”
Chelan felt relief wash over her to the point of almost leaving her lightheaded. His capitulation was the last thing she had expected.
Korba helped Dar back into his uniform and then sat back in his chair. “What did you do all these years on board the ship?”
“Worked. I know you have figured out about the Zenatropium, and probably where I obtained it. Anyway, I employed a small crew chosen from a planet close to Rake, but not affiliated with them, to put in the Zenatropium shielding. The fabricating was done here, by them, on board.”
“You knew of the shielding capability of the metal?”
“I found out about it later while pursuing the mystery of how Talon had made it through all my defenses to capture Chelan. Once I repaired the communications systems on RIBUS 7, a laborious and time-consuming task in and of itself, I managed to tap into the communications between Talon’s Command and his forces, Eventually I broke enough of their codes to discover the connection. It was then I decided to shield myself, not so much from the Empire—either Empire, depending on the outcome of the battle—but originally from Talon himself, and later from any scavengers that may have found the ship.”
“These crews, what did you compensate them with?” interjected Chelan.
“Weaponry, mostly. That was why they were easy to employ. They did not want to end up being one of the many societies providing slave labor to the Troke. I did not give them enough to raise alarm bells on any front, but enough to adequately defend themselves if need be.”
“And what did you do for food?” she asked.
“The ship’s main stores were untouched by the battle. The nutrient lasts forever. And with the engine room functioning, I could purify the on-board water.”
“You have lived for over six years on liquid nutrient?!” Chelan asked with a gasp.
“There was other food for the first two years. After that, the crews would bring new items with them. But I was sustained mostly by the nutrient.”
Korba nodded. “You trained, I see.”
“Part of a daily routine. I also cleaned areas up, I repaired sensors, the Command Center needed endless work... I watched the comings and goings of the traffic of the area’s commerce, though it was sparse, to say the least. RIBUS 7 is just far enough from Cleos that commerce from there was not an issue. And I always tracked anything that looked like it might cause me trouble. But nothing ever did. Life went on.”
Chelan sat back, remembering the dreadful loneliness of the caverns. She looked back to him. “I wish you had sent a message.”
“While Talon was in power, I could not. That would have ensured my death. Then, by the time Korba had taken over, I was quite comfortable with my lot. Once the Empire began to settle again, communications this far out were scarce to nonexistent, and so I basically quit monitoring everything.”
Chelan sighed. “Then you really did not know of Jason?”
“I had no clue. I knew Talon had you. And I knew he would not want our child to live. I assumed the worst.”
Korba nodded. “And for years his existence was kept a complete secret. By the time the Empire knew he lived, you would have ceased getting information.”
Dad simply nodded.
Korba stood. “I am going to see Stose. If it is amenable to you, I would like to get the Cleosans up here immediately. I know this will take some time. Our departure may have to be delayed.”
Dar nodded again.
Korba addressed Chelan. “I will be back soon with whatever news I obtain. I trust the two of you to get along and remain ci
vil. I know there will be a lot of pain to work though from both sides.”
Then he stared at Dar. “Until I return, no matter what transpires, I want you to stay here. I will order flight decks shut down if need be.”
“I will remain here, my Lord. You have my word.”
Korba watched him momentarily, and then he left.
Chelan had no problem sorting through her next move. She sprang to her feet, went to Dar, and curled up in his lap like a Persian kitten, thus thwarting any attempt he may have made at leaving her company for whatever reason.
The Warlord temporarily stiffened in response to her gesture of affection, but he could not refuse her, no matter how much it interfered with his decision-making processes. His hand smoothed over her bare arm and came to rest on her hip. He inhaled deeply. “You smell so good, my Lady.”
Chelan smiled and snuggled into him. “I guess after smelling burnt ship for six long years, anything would smell good.” She wiggled deeper into his lap. “And you feel so good, my Lord.”
Dar rested his head on the top of hers. He closed his eyes.
Chelan stared at his shroud, her fingers fiddling with the material. “You took a long time to make your decision to come here. How will it be between us?”
Dar’s hand slid up her side. He stroked her cheek and then held her head into his chest. “I don’t know.”
Chelan shivered. “If your arm renews...” She sighed. “You will leave us?”
Dar looked down at her. He kissed her head gently. “If the arm regenerates, I plan to be a Warlord once again, my Lady. I will have my own ship.”
“That is not what I meant, and you know it.”
Dar sighed. “Ever since I laid eyes on you again, I have been searching my soul. I don’t think I can... I don’t know if I can ever share you. My heart in that regard has not changed.”
Chelan bit her lip. “But on RIBUS 7, you... you wanted to... You tried to...”
Dar closed his eyes. “I let years of loneliness govern my actions. I was impulsive. I am in control of myself now. I have had time to think about my life, about new possibilities.”
Chelan pushed out of his lap and walked away. “Then for me on a personal level, inviting you back into the fold will all be for naught.”
Dar stared at her back. “Please do not say that, Chelan.”
“You know what I feel. Back on the ship, you wanted to give yourself to me, and now you are already speaking of leaving, of emotionally flatlining.”
Dar looked away. He could not fight with her. Not now. He didn’t have it in him. He was rising to his feet just when the main doors opened.
Stose came rushing in with Korba right behind. The doctor skidded to a halt in front of Dar. “Oh, my Lord. You do not know what a joyous shock this is!”
Dar nodded and smiled. “It seems, my good doctor, that I am barely welcomed back into the realm and I am in your care already.”
Stose smiled. “Well, my Lord, I hope I can help. The Cleosan doctors are on their way right now. I know they have an excellent biomed team.”
Dar smiled. “Then maybe we should go meet them.”
Korba spoke. “As soon as the two of you are finished, come back here and give me a progress report.” His eyes bored into Dar. “And that is an order, not an option.”
Dar nodded, and then left with Stose.
Korba watched Chelan for a moment, noticing how rigid she was. He stepped up to her. “He will come around, my Lady.”
“We shall see,” she whispered. “Right now he just needs to concentrate on his arm.”
Korba moved away and sat down in his chair. He rubbed at his jaw. “And what of you, my Lady? What do you need?”
Chelan stared at him ruefully. “You know the answer to that. And no matter what, I will not leave you for anyone again. I did not leave you for Fremma or Shan in the past, and the decision I made with Dar all those years ago was a mistake born solely out of loneliness. I will not leave you now or ever. I do not need anything or anyone else.” She took a deep breath. “But as far as Dar specifically, he cannot simply take a ship and run. He is forever bound to me by Jason. He may remain true to his stubborn determination to forsake me as much as he can, but he must still be in my presence for Jason’s sake. Unlike Fremma, Dar will forever be a part of my life, of our lives.”
Korba observed her carefully. “I cannot possibly explain to you what you mean to me, and undoubtedly to Dar... to have you in our lives. It is beyond description. You have bewitched both of us from the beginning. I know how he feels. I know how difficult it has been for him to make the decisions he has made over the years, and to deal with his feelings, both then and now. As hard I may wish to, I cannot hope to change any of his thoughts. I can only give counsel, if asked. What I am saying by all this is, if you wish for more with him over the coming years, you are the only one who can possibly change his mind.”
Chelan sat down in a heap. “I am not sure I even want to do that. Right now I cannot believe he is here, alive, with us once again. And after all this time, I cannot believe he still harbors the same need, the same driven desire to hold me exclusively. It was a shock that he gave up all his Iceanean values in the beginning as he did—the plans he made and the elaborate lengths he went to... But now, to not reassess... to not give, even a little bit, just so that things are better between us, between all of us... I do not understand.”
Korba reached forward and drew her into his lap. “Take heart, my Lady. He is in as much shock as the rest of us over meeting once again. Give him time. Let him be with Jason. Things may change.”
Chelan looked deep into Korba’s eyes. “I want you to realize that I am not in any way trying to throw myself at him, to pick up where we left off with no consideration for you. It is just... I know him well enough, as do you, to know that he could simply decide at some point to pack up and flitter to the ends of the galaxy and stay there with his ship. I also know that for now, he will be bound by his son. But as Jason grows and becomes a man, I feel that at some point Dar could become once again the driven warrior supreme, returning to Iceanea for retrofits only to head out again, for years on end, and I do not want that.”
“I do not want that either. He has always been my closest friend and ally. We have come up through the ranks together, been through more wars that I can possibly count, together. We have fought side by side for decades, and now that we know he is alive and relatively well, I do not want him isolating himself again, whether it be on a piece of space debris or by taking on endless assignments and retreating to the ends of the galaxy.”
“As Emperor, you could prevent that.”
“I would not, not with him. I will never dictate to Dar. He is my equal in every manner. We will always work side by side, titles and ranks aside. And you know very well that attempting to chain him to us in any manner would never work. The man is a rogue of the highest order. He is extremely disciplined, but only when he wants to be, which, fortunately for all of us, is most of the time. If he feels caged or threatened, he will strike out, and that will serve none of us, least of all Jason.”
Chelan sighed. “It gets complicated, doesn’t... We have literally stumbled upon two of the finest men the galaxy has ever seen, both long thought dead, both alive and well. Logic says it should be easy: just come back, pick up where things left off, and all will be right with the universe. But things have changed. Things are forever changed in ways that complicate our entwined lives so much that it threatens to choke the life from us all. Nothing will come easy. Nothing will ever be completely right anymore.”
Korba hugged her and lowered his voice to a soft whisper. “It is not that things will never be right anymore. We just need to commit to building on our new reality. The old reality was not perfect either, but we made it work. What we all need now is time to adjust. There are things we can do to make this transition a little easier on us all. But in the end, only time will tell. And as for the three of us...” He reached for her chin and ra
ised her face to his, kissing her lips once. “I want Dar back in his former capacity, militarily and personally, as much as you do. But like everyone involved—everyone touched by all the calamity over the previous decade of complete instability—we all need time to adapt. Just give him that time. He will struggle, but then he will form his new reality, one that works for him—maybe not perfectly, but it will provide him with some solace and comfort. He has yet to come to terms with what he considers a colossal failure on his part, the loss in every respect of you and the Empire. And once he deals with that, once he forgives himself, then and only then will he heal and come back to us.”
Chelan frowned. “We both know he may never reach that point. One aspect of being the pinnacle of fighting perfection is that once at the top, one has nowhere else to go but down. He feels responsible for everything that happened to me. He feels responsible for your defeat and the deaths of billions. He feels the weight of the Empire on his shoulders even now, and he is not going to be able to reconcile with those emotions any time soon. I fear that without the interpersonal connection I can give, without the grounding that can come from the relationship he and I once shared, he will fragment over time, throw himself out there to correct all the perceived wrongs that happened by his hand. You and I both know that is faulty thinking, but Dar has always been more basal. In his mind, he failed us all. And if he can get his former self back, he will single-mindedly slay the galaxy in an attempt to rid himself of all the demons that possess him. His heart has hardened; I can feel it. He has lost the humanity that once made him the lover he was to me and the friend he was to you. The human connection has been diluted. And that will affect his relationship with his son to the detriment of all.”
“That is not completely true, my Lady. Look how he wanted you, and look at the effect Jason had on him.”