by Susan Stumpf
"Am I interrupting something?" someone asked. I pulled away to see a ninja dressed in red, head to toe, wearing a face mask. Only the eyes were exposed, but I recognized these warm almond shaped eyes, it was Wu. I was still a little dazed by what had just happened and could only get out uhh's and umm's.
"Em's ex-boyfriend is here making a show of his new girlfriend. So, we're fighting fire with fire."
"Yeah," was all I said.
As the bartender refilled my shot glass, I heard a "mmhmm," from her and she gave me a facetious smile and I blushed. I actually blushed. Not only had Bo kissed me, but we'd been caught by the bartender and Wu. I felt like a teenager doing something I shouldn't.
"Y'all want to get out of here?" I asked.
"But I just got here," Wu said.
"Don't let that guy ruin your night, Em," Bo said. "You were looking forward to this party for awhile, stay and have fun. That's the best revenge, having fun and not giving him a second thought. If you let him chase you out of here, he wins."
We stayed and I drank, and danced, and drank some more. I danced with both Bo and Wu. I usually put somewhat of a limit on my drinking, but tonight I didn't. I always worried about safety and how I would get home, but tonight I was escorted by a vampire and a ninja. Both not too far from the myths they were portraying. I trusted them so I let my guard down and got knee-walking drunk. I don't remember leaving the bar or the drive home. I only vaguely remember my actions once I got home.
As Bo helped me into my house and up the stairs he got a long rant on how I was better off without Charlie.
"Ya know what?" I said much louder than I needed to be speaking since Bo was right beside me.
"I don't need Charlie, I'm doing fine and dandy without him. Little Miss Implants can have him. I hope that hussy enjoys cleaning his apartment cause the man is a total slob!"
Bo just nodded along with my drunken ramblings.
"We sure showed him," I said. "It probably drove him crazy seeing me there with such a hot guy."
Bo then chimed in candidly, "So you think I'm hot do you?"
"Well yeah, you're hot, but you're sooo weird!"
Bo laughed.
"What makes me weird?" he asked.
"Well, you have no concept of boundaries, and what on earth is your fascination with certain fabrics like silk, satin, and leather?"
"I like the way they feel," he said running his hand down my cat woman costume, "don't you?"
"Yeah I guess," I replied.
Bo reached up and started unzipping my costume and my heart pounded rapidly, crashing against my ribs. I may have been smashed, but I was fully aware of his presence, his actions, and the affect he had on me.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Don Juan, I may be drunk but I'm not having sex with you!" I said as I smacked his hand away.
"I have no intention of having sex with you," he replied.
"You don't, why not?" I asked a little offended at his tone.
"For one thing, because you're drunk."
"?and you're a gentleman." I finished.
"No, the alcohol is in your blood, therefore, if I drink your blood I will also be intoxicated and that's dangerous for us both."
"Dangerous how?" I asked.
"Well for you because if I'm inebriated I could possibly hurt or kill you. For me, because I could pass out and meet the sun, which would kill me.
"Well if I wasn't drunk would you want to have sex with me?"
"Would you want me to have sex with you, Em? That means I would have to bite you and drink your blood?"
I shivered at the thought.
"Yes, that's what I thought," he said. "Also, females make sex complicated. You can't do it without forming a bond, a bond that I physically cannot reciprocate. It's much easier the way I do it."
"What do you mean, the way you do it?" I asked.
"After I have sex with a woman I drain her; no muss, no fuss," he said so matter of fact like it wasn't a big deal.
"You're a black widow," I said slurring my speech.
"You sex 'em up, then ya eat 'em!" I said making fangs with my fingers.
"Yes, I suppose I am," he said reaching for my zipper again. He helped me out of my costume, and as I stood there in my undergarments I couldn't help but wonder aloud.
"So this doesn't do anything for you?" I held my arms out swaying a bit as I tried to remain standing.
"On the contrary, I find you very attractive. I never said I didn't find women attractive or didn't desire to have sex. It's just physically difficult. The desire is there, I just lack the means."
"So you think I'm sexy then? Charlie is stupid right?"
"Yes, you are very attractive," he said helping me into bed.
"Even my face, my face is pretty?" I rambled drunkenly. I always knew I had a nice body, but my face was an insecurity of mine. I had a masculine curve to my jaw and I thought that made me look a bit too manly.
"Yes, Em, your face is pretty," he coddled.
"Do you want to kiss me again?" I asked. "Because I ain't gonna lie, that kiss was amaaaazing!" I said stretching out on the bed.
"That's probably not a good idea," he said.
"Ok," I pouted. "Will you stay for just a little while? Don't you wanna staaay here a little whiiiile," I sang the only part of the song I knew. I'd heard it on a commercial.
"I'll stay if you stop singing and go to sleep," he said. His words gave a hint of frustration but his tone did not. He was exceedingly patient with me and my drunken shenanigans.
He sat down on the bed next to me and I curled up next to him and laid my head on his lap.
"Bo," I said just before I passed out.
"Yes, Em?"
"Thanks."
I was rudely awoken by the need to vomit, and I barely made it to the bathroom after tripping over my bed spread and falling to the floor. Bo wasn't in the bed anymore and I looked at my bedside clock, it was five a.m. After throwing up more drinks than I could keep track of, I crawled back in bed and ran the night's events back in my head trying to recall if I did anything horribly embarrassing. Did I really stand in front of Bo in my underwear and ask if I was pretty? Oh, how needy of me. Ehhh, what a night. I went back to sleep and luckily didn't throw up anymore. I didn't get out of bed until late afternoon. I was slowly conforming to vampire hours, I think.
I felt horrible all evening and vowed never to drink again but knew that wouldn't last. I didn't have much of an appetite, so I just camped out on the couch and watched TV. Bo came over after dark, he just appeared in my living room the way he does, scaring me half to death.
"Geez, Bo! Don't you ever knock? What if I was doing something really embarrassing?"
"Like dancing around your room serenading me in your underwear? In that case, I've already seen it."
"Uhh, I was not dancing! ...was I?"
"No," he laughed, "but you were serenading me in your underwear."
"Don't remind me. I don't want to know anything I did, I don't want to know anything I said, I just don't want to know."
"Like how you yelled Charlie's name across the bar, flipped him off, then stuck your tongue down my throat?"
"Shhhhh?I said I don't want to know."
I didn't remember that at all, but it was quite possibly true.
"Wu wanted me to bring you this, he said it would make you feel better, it's tea." He handed me a small paper envelope and sat down on the couch with a sigh. It was the first time I think he'd ever looked tired.
"Hey, are you all right? You don't look so good," I asked.
"I just woke up, but I'm still tired," he replied.
"Did I keep you out too late?"
"No, not at all, I got back well before sunrise. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll just take it easy tonight."
"Sounds good to me, I was about to watcha movie if you want to stay."
Bo was a huge fan of movies. We'd talked about it before. There weren't too many movies he hadn't seen. I'm talking ever, like in the history of
movies.
"Ok," he agreed, "what are we watching?"
"Matrix marathon," I sang.
"One of my favorites," he said.
I managed to eat a few crackers and the tea Wu sent made me feel much better. I wished Bo could drink tea because by the start of Matrix Reloaded he looked even worse. I was glad I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore because round about the time the big fight scene was over Bo stood up, swayed for just a moment, sat back down then a fountain of blood spewed from his mouth all over the couch between us and on the rug. It was like something out of a horror movie and it scared me to death. Bo was gone in a blur to the downstairs bathroom. I followed after him concerned. I knew he wasn't dying-he was a vampire after all-but there was definitely something wrong. I was learning that vampires weren't the bulletproof super humans they were in books and movies.
Bo spewed blood into my toilet, and it was hard to watch. It was hard to watch a regular person throwing up, but I'd gotten used to that sight with my Aunt Eileen after all her chemo treatments. Seeing someone vomit up blood was extremely disturbing. I wet a washcloth and put it on the back of his neck like I always did for my Aunt. I didn't know if that trick worked on vampires or not. I felt useless. It's not like I could get him some medicine or a glass of water; he couldn't take any of that.
"Are you ok? What can I do?" I asked in desperation.
"Get me home, Em," was all he said.
I helped him up and we headed for the door but didn't make it there before he shot off to the bathroom again. I was getting really worried. What would cause this? Was he going to be ok? I finally got him to my car. I'm glad I grabbed the bathroom trash can to bring with us, can't have my vampire boss filling my car with bloody vomit. Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd say. I drove as fast as I dared to the antique shop. It would be really hard to explain a trash can of blood to a cop if we got pulled over.