by Emlyn Rees
Rachel sighed. ‘But I thought Claire and Sam were so happy together,’ she said. ‘I thought they were the perfect family.’
‘Oh, Rachel. There’s no such thing. You must know that by now. You can’t blame yourself for not seeing the truth. Isn’t it true that people lie to their families more than anyone else? I’ve learnt that. I never thought Laurie would trick me like she did. I never thought she’d have brought me to this.’
Rachel glanced at him. ‘I made her do it.’
Bill put his hand around their mother’s crucifix and held it in his fist. ‘Let them go, Rachel. Forgive them, otherwise it’ll kill you. It’ll make you old and bitter.’
He didn’t say, ‘like Mum,’ but Rachel could sense that he wanted to.
She felt as if she didn’t know anything any more. ‘I only wanted what was best.’
‘You don’t know what best is. Accept it. Give it up. Can Sam and Laurie and Claire really do any worse than we did?’
‘I suppose not.’
Rachel placed her hand over Bill’s.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We should get going.’
Outside the cathedral, the bright sunlight hurt Rachel’s eyes. She put her sunglasses on. She was unsure of what had passed between them. Whether everything had really been resolved, or whether they’d both accepted that it couldn’t be. Whatever had happened, she felt much lighter without her mother’s crucifix around her neck. She felt as if she’d stopped being responsible for what had happened so long ago.
Bill looked out at the horizon and she followed his gaze to the row of palm trees before the road, then the harbour and the white yachts sailing far into the distance across the bay. She wondered whether Laurie and Sam were together on Flight. She could suddenly picture them laughing and the image reminded her so strongly of her and Tony that she stopped at the top of the steps.
And suddenly, she felt free. Maybe Bill was right. Maybe she should let go of the past and of her family. Maybe she should start pleasing herself.
‘Listen, Bill, do you really have to go?’ she asked, suddenly. ‘There’s so much more left to see. I’ve got to get back to work in a couple of days, but –’
Bill turned to face her. ‘You want me to stay?’
Slowly, she nodded. ‘Only if you want to?’
He looked out at the view, smelling the air. And then he looked back at her. ‘Well, I suppose a couple more days wouldn’t hurt.’
And with that he offered her his arm, squeezing her hand gently as she took it. And then they walked down the white stone steps together into the sunshine.
Authors’ Note
The events in this novel were partly inspired by the Lynmouth Flood Disaster of 1952, in which thirty-four people lost their lives. We’re grateful to the following authors, whose books provided invaluable information concerning the night of the flood, as well as background for the period:
Delderfield, Eric R., The Lynmouth Flood Disaster, E.R.D.
Publications Ltd, 1953
Haynes, Richard, The Day that the Rain Came Down,
Mediaworld PR, 2002
Hesp, Martin, Snow, Storm & Flood on Exmoor, Exmoor Press,
1999
Prosser, Tim, The Lynmouth Flood Disaster, Lyndale
Photographic Publications, 2001
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Epub ISBN: 9781446493465
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Published by Arrow Books in 2005
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Copyright © Josie Lloyd & Emlyn Rees 2004
Josie Lloyd & Emlyn Rees have asserted their right under the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act, 1988 to be identified as the authors of this work
This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
First published in the United Kingdom in 2004 by William Heinemann
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