If I Fall…
Will You Remember Me?
By Jennifer Christy
White Wave Media
Salt Lake City, UT
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictiously.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever without prior written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief passages embodied in critical reviews and articles.
If I Fall…Will You Remember Me?
Copyright © 2017 Jennifer Christy
All Rights Reserved
Published by White Wave Media
Salt Lake City, UT
ISBN:
Published in the United States of America
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Dedication:
For Davy, Daniel, & Darius
My True Angels
Previously
Chapter 1
With the taste of her skin still on his lips, Nathan’s thoughts lingered on Julia but for a moment as he strode through the Halls of the Host in the city of Enosha, and outlying base for the Host and hidden amongst the clouds above Earth. He was heading for the Prison Hall where his younger brother, Matthew, was held in confinement.
Nathan twisted the ring Julia had just given him around his finger. Just moments ago, her bright innocent hazel green eyes peered up at him so hopefully. It was all he could do not to react emotionally as he said his goodbyes and left her standing there next to the Bed and Breakfast she spent nearly a year renovating.
Those same beguiling eyes of hers had peered into his once before - long before he ever knew of the Host or the work happening all around him, unseen during his mortality. Long before he knew there really was a Heaven and angels.
Julia’s smiling eyes had been the first thing he saw when he came to after he had been shot by that she-demon. The memory was still so fresh in his mind, even though it happened over a hundred years ago. Nathan’s hand strayed to his left side, just under his heart where the bullet had pierced him. Though the scar was long gone, the memory of searing pain still remained. When she appeared over him, her touch swiftly removed the terrible pain of his wound and her smile radiated warmth throughout his body.
“Shh, you are safe,” she said, her voice sounded like a cool summer breeze through the trees. So calm and comforting. All he could do was just stare at her and blink stupidly. Her soft coppery hair flowed in gentle curls around her shoulders. She was wrapped in a bright white robe, kneeling next to him the middle of the dusty road in the middle of nowhere.
“Where’s Matthew?” Nathan had managed to mumble as he tasted blood.
“I’ve already taken care of him. He is doing well, considering,” she assured him.
“Am I dying?” he choked, blood filling his mouth. Realization of his situation caused him panic. He felt his side grow warm as the blood soaked his shirt and the ground beneath him.
Her face shifted to sadness as she touched his face to impart comfort, “No. You’re not going to die,” she said, but her tone made it clear that it wasn’t a good thing.
“What’s happening? Who are you?” he asked.
“I am Quariel,” she said pleasantly.
“Are you an angel?” he managed as the pain subsided the longer she was with him.
“Yes.”
“You don’t look like the guy in black with a scythe,” he said.
“I’m not that angel,” she said, amused.
“Then what are you?”
“Only an assistant, but we have a problem and I’m going to need your help,” she replied matter-of-factly.
Nathan blinked at her in confusion, his brow wrinkling above his nose. “What?”
Quariel pursed her lips as she considered how she was going to break the news to him, then said quickly, “You’re stuck in limbo, thanks to the False god who is waging war on the Mortals in this area. You’ve been recruited to the dark side against your will. But, if you’re willing to cooperate, I can get you out of here so you can progress to the next life. Or, I’ll have to put you in confinement until Judgement Day.”
Nathan gaped at her, “What the hell?”
“Exactly,” Quariel agreed.
A horrendous noise shattered Nathans’s reflections, causing him to pause a moment as he re-oriented his thoughts on the present. The sound came again – a roar, an ugly, rage-filled sound that hit him like a punch. He knew that sound, had heard it before. It hurt his heart to hear it because he knew it was directed at him. That angry hate-filled noise came from Matthew. His younger brother.
Up ahead, through a courtyard and down another long hallway were the holding cells for those who chose to not only break their allegiance to the Host, but also harm the mortals for whom they had promised to protect. And Matthew was being held there for that very reason.
Nathan gritted his teeth and quickened his pace. Despite the wrongs Matthew had committed, Nathan still felt the strong urge to protect him. What were they doing to him?
Chapter 2
The air still shimmered where he had stood just a moment before. Julia reached out her hand. Her fingers moved through the glimmering after-effects of Nathan’s recent departure. She could still detect the scent of rain, feel the warmth of his body that lingered in the space before her. But the shimmering presence of his very essence quickly evaporated and soon she was left with nothing more than the remembrance of his touch and the fading sound of his last spoken goodbye.
If only she could step into that space where he had just been and pass thru that magical portal into the realm where he had gone. Her soul yearned to be near him, to absorb all the goodness and peace that seemed to surround and emanate from him. How she loved the feelings that he brought to her heart and mind whenever he was near.
Her hand dropped to her side as the glimmering air evaporated, replaced by the spring breezes that still bore the sting of winter’s bite. Dirty snow still clung in clumps in the shadows of shrubs or at the base of the cottonwood trees that lined the main street in the small town of Torrey, Utah.
What a long winter it had been, she reflected. Julia turned and looked at the new Bed and Breakfast that she had spent almost a year renovating from a hundred-year-old school house. A school house that hid a dark secret. A secret she had inadvertently exposed, unleashing a chain of events that had changed her life forever. In the time she had been in Torrey, she had gone from experiencing her first love, to betrayal, to new found love and then the discovery of her true nature; she knew it wasn’t over yet. Quabin was still out there, gathering the Shadows and preparing for a battle unlike any mortal had ever witnessed. No one was safe now. It was only a matter of time before she would have to face the False god who had taken a part of her soul and corrupted the man she had first fallen in love with.
“Julia!” came a ringing cry from behind her. She turned her head towards the sound of her name. Julia barely had time to recognize Missy, her best friend and roommate from California, before the young woman cr
ashed into her, spinning her about in a fierce hug of squealing laughter.
“Oh my gosh!” Missy nearly yelled, “You look amazing!”
“Missy!” Julia exclaimed, “you’re here and you’re pink!” Julia took a step back to look her friend over.
Missy was sporting a foot-long pink Mohawk, which matched her knee-high pink and black striped converse zip up boots. She wore shiny black leggings with a hot pink and black tank top that appeared to be stylized in the fashion of a straightjacket.
Missy threw back her head and laughed, “And?” she spun around to show off her complete ensemble.
“You’re an amazing work of art!” Julia teased and hugged her friend again, laughing. Julia leaned back and squinted at Missy’s face, noting the thick black eyeliner, the extended eyelashes, the nose ring, and eyebrow piercings.
“Is this new?” Julia asked, flicking the gold ring pierced through Missy’s left nostril.
“Yow!” Missy jerked back. “Yeah, be careful with my hardware!” She playfully smacked Julia’s upper arm.
“Wow,” Julia breathed, hardly able to hide her surprise at Missy’s transformation from a pretty blonde that wore conservative outfits in dull grays and blacks to a technicolor punk rocker.
“When did this happen?” Julia motioned at Missy’s outfit.
The young woman grinned and ran her hands back along the sprayed back sections of her hair that wasn’t standing straight up. “It’s been a work in progress. I love it.”
“Looks good,” Julia nodded. “But, you missed the ceremony!” Missy feigned surprise as she looked around, taking in the small crowd of attendees and the balloons and decorations celebrating the grand opening of Torrey’s first Bed and Breakfast, “We missed the ribbon cutting? Oh man!” She stomped her foot. “We love the ribbon cutting part!” Then she laughed.
“We?” Julia queried.
Missy looked around as if searching for someone, then huffed. “We!” She stated and turned and waved her arm at a small black car with red trim that was double-parked alongside a van not too far away. The driver side door opened and a tall figure emerged. His long black hair was the same sheen and color as his car. Face pale as death, lips painted black and eyes rimmed in black, Drogo looked at them without expression. Julia’s blood ran cold. She thought she had seen the last of him when he had scared away her attackers at the company Christmas party in California last year.
Drogo approached them with long fluid strides that seemed unnatural to Julia. No human could move that smoothly, that quickly. No human at all, she corrected herself, but a Fallen. And not your regular run of the mill Fallen type either. Julia glanced at her roommate, who only a year before was your average run of the mill receptionist with long blonde hair and normal clothes. How Missy attracted the likes of a False One, Julia had yet to understand, but he was changing her roommate into something Julia wasn’t okay with.
Drogo came up behind Missy and draped his long arms about her shoulders, bending over her to rest his head next to hers, as if he were going to swallow her whole into his very being. Julia wanted to scream a warning to her friend, wanted to tell her to run! But, Missy had rejected any hint of Julia’s dislike of Drogo and Nathan had warned Julia that deep down inside, Missy knew full well the danger she was in, but she was choosing to keep Drogo close. Missy had her agency and she wasn’t willing to listen to her guardian angel, so why would she listen to her friend. Julia had tried anyway to discourage their relationship when she was in California for Gramps funeral, but Missy wouldn’t listen and nearly ended their friendship because of it. So Julia kept her mouth shut. It was better to keep Missy close as a friend to protect her as best as she could, then turn her into an enemy with a Fallen as a lover.
Julia instinctively took a step back from Drogo as Missy prattled on about their trip from California and about how sorry they were to miss the ceremony. Drogo fixed Julia with a steady look. Hello again, little girl, Julia heard his voice as if he were inside her head. He hadn’t moved his lips, but merely locked her eyes with his own dark, bottomless gaze. Julia tried to look away and focus on what Missy was going on about, but she could barely even hear the words falling from Missy’s mouth. Everything around her took on a blurry grey film and slowed to a standstill. Julia felt her senses spiral into focus on Drogo despite herself. She could hear the crispness of his words as if they were playing right against her eardrums. Every detail of his face, from the fringe of his thick eyelashes, to the gleam of sunlight on the sheen of his too white teeth, absorbed her attention. Then the faint odor of rotten eggs wafted beneath her nose and it turned her stomach. Fallens stink.
What’s the matter? he asked, his eyes boring into hers. I know you can hear me. I gave you the gift of Demon Speak. Use it! he commanded.
At the mention of the gift he had bestowed upon her at Christmas, Julia’s left temple ached. She made to move her hand up to rub it, but her arm felt heavy; her whole body felt heavy. Had Drogo’s gift given him access to control her body? Go away, she warned. The sound of her own inner voice reverberated through her mind like an outward ripple through water. The force that Drogo exerted over her weakened, but did not break. It wouldn’t. It was his mark and gift on her and he had access to her thoughts whenever he wanted and her body. She had willingly accepted his gift – despite Nathan’s warning. She had her reasons for doing so. It was her own secret that no one could possibly guess.
Impressive, little one, Drogo mocked. His black painted lips parted in a slight smile. Good girl. Suddenly, color, sound, and smell of the living world crashed through the grey barrenness of the place Drogo had enclosed around her. Julia blinked and sucked in a deep breath, realizing only then that she had been holding it to avoid breathing in Drogo’s stench filled energy that he had enveloped her in.
“So, that’s why we were so late,” Missy said, taking Julia’s hand and offering an apologetic sad face. With her wild hair and heavy makeup, the pathetic look on her face reminded Julia of a clown. Julia smiled and said, “Don’t worry about it. You’re here. That’s all that matters.” She took Missy’s arm and led her toward the schoolhouse without a single glance at Drogo. She didn’t care how rude she was to him. He wasn’t welcomed.
“Come on. I’ll show you around,” Julia said brightly, even though she still felt the lingering effects of Drogo’s darkness clinging on to her. Drogo’s mere presence made her feel depressed and heavy as he followed close behind Missy, like a sucking, energy draining, dark shadow.
At the threshold of the double doors that led into the schoolhouse, Julia cringed, knowing that if she invited the Fallen in, it would be an open invitation to come in anytime he wanted. It would be much more difficult expelling a Fallen once it had been invited in and Nathan had specifically warned her that the Bed and Breakfast was to be used as a Sanctuary – to not go around inviting darkness inside it, no matter what shape or form or energy it took.
Julia stepped aside to allow Missy to enter first and in that split second before Drogo was to cross the threshold, Julia raised her hand to block him. He halted, his eyes widened in surprise. “You are not permitted,” she whispered forcefully, glancing at Missy to make sure her friend couldn’t hear her. As those words left her mouth she felt a familiar warmth settle around her, she knew her grandfather was near, offering his strength and protection. Without any forethought of what she was supposed to say next, she felt grandfather guide her next words, “this is a place of sanctuary and no unclean thing may enter.”
Drogo scowled. He looked toward Missy who was already across the room engaged in a conversation with Rick, Julia’s mentor and friend. Completely oblivious to the confrontation between Julia and Drogo. Drogo’s nostrils flared and he growled fiercely at Julia on the other side of the threshold. Julia held her ground; he did not scare her.
Drogo turned and slunk away, keeping to the shadows as he returned to his car. Julia watched Drogo slip into his black Fiat 500. The door of his car was barely closed before ba
ss thumping music blared from it. The engine fired up and he slammed it into reverse. Peeling away, Drogo headed off toward main street, tires smoking, and dark music trailing behind.
Julia let out a relieved breath. “Thanks, Gramps,” she said and felt her grandfather’s presence embrace her before drifting away as she joined the celebration.
Chapter 3
“No admittance,” a tall slender angelic guard stated firmly, emphasizing his words with the forward thrust of his hand towards Nathan’s chest to block his forward movement. Nathan glanced over at the other guard standing watch at the other side of the gate. Both guards wore similar expressions, similar perfectness in their form and features. Both were Pre-mortals who had yet to experience mortal life. At first glance, they appeared to be identical; intelligences that inhabited energy bodies undefined by mortal experience. Nathan scowled at them and had little patience for souls who had never tasted mortal life.
Matthew’s continued roars were much louder this close to the holding cells. Nathan could detect cries and shouts from other prisoners echoing their displeasure - either from being imprisoned, or being forced to listen to Matthew’s rage. He wasn’t sure.
“My brother is in there,” Nathan said firmly, refusing to back away. “I need to see him.”
The first guard remained unmoved. “No admittance,” he restated firmly and lowered his hand, then stared off into the space above Nathan’s head.
Nathan struggled to maintain his composure as he glanced from one guard to the other. The guards were of the lowest ranking of the pre-mortal spirits who had no experience with human emotions and clearly untested in the arena of earth life.
“Pre-mortals,” Nathan said in disgust. He spun on his heel. He’d get no sympathy from them. Yehala was his only hope to get to Matthew now.
Halfway to Yehala’s office, Nathan heard his name called. Glancing to his left down an intersecting corridor, he spotted Roy, his closest friend and earth-side brother in arms, jogging towards him. Being Nephilim and an ally of the Host, he was granted special privileges of entering the city. He had apprehended enough Fallens over the course of his hundred plus years as a Watcher, to prove he was worthy and loyal to the Host.
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