He kept his eyes steady on hers. “I haven’t slept with anyone else since I’ve met you.”
Something joyous leapt in Marietta, but she squashed it. She needed to think logically; biologically, to be specific. “You’re talking about short-term fidelity. What I think is impossible is long-term fidelity.”
The night before he’d left for his business trip, he asked who’d hurt her, and she refused to answer. Now, he didn’t say anything, and that very fact pierced her armor. She took a deep breath. Then she took a chance.
“I had this boyfriend in high school named Bobby Lancer. My friends were envious because he was always writing me love poems and leaving little surprises in my locker. I thought we were the perfect couple until the senior prom.” She cleared her throat. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Bobby wore a white tuxedo and I had on this bubblegum-pink dress with my hair in an updo. I was so happy until I found him, without the tuxedo, in the back seat of my car with Betty Jo Kowalski.”
Marietta took a breath and stared down at her hands. Now that she’d started, she might as well tell the rest. “I was careful not to get serious about anybody for a long time. Then, in my junior year of college, I let another biology major talk me into moving in with him. I actually thought a love of biology was a positive trait until I caught him indulging it with a hot little number in our bed.”
She glanced up at Jax for a reaction and saw empathy on his face. “They were boys, Marietta,” he said. “Not men.”
The bitterness she always tried so hard to bank spilled into her voice. “My father wasn’t a boy, and for ten years he met Elvira Thorton at the Ramada Inn every Wednesday afternoon. On Mondays, he met Liz Applegate. I ran into him with different women so many times I can’t even remember all of their names.”
Jax reached out and took her hand.
“He used to call my mother his best girl and tell her how much he loved her,” Marietta said. “She always believed his flimsy excuses when he didn’t come home on time or when he missed some important family event. She might have kept on lying to herself about how he was spending his time if he hadn’t had a heart attack and died when he was in bed with another woman.”
Jax squeezed her hand, prompting her to go on.
“When she was free of him, I thought she’d finally be able to live a little, to enjoy herself,” Marietta said, her voice quivering. “But she died six months later of a brain aneurysm.”
With her free hand she brushed rough fingers over the tears on her cheeks, angered that her father’s philandering still hurt years after she’d determined the biological reasoning behind his acts.
“What happened to your parents is terrible,” Jax said softly. “But just because your father was unfaithful doesn’t mean all men are unfaithful.”
“Oh, come on.” Marietta jerked her hand back from his. “Then let’s talk about your father. Was he faithful to your mother?”
Jax dropped his head and didn’t raise it for long moments. His brown eyes were flat, his expression as serious as she’d ever seen it. “I never knew my father. I don’t even know his name.”
His pain came through louder than the mating call of a bellowing alligator. Ignoring it was impossible. She reached out, stroked his cheek, took his hand. “I’m. . . I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, me, too. I used to cry myself to sleep when I was a little kid. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t have a father like everybody else. Later, when I got older, I played sports. I’d look into the stands at every game, watching the other fathers cheer for their sons. Every time, I’d think that maybe my dad would show up to cheer for me. He never did. Even if he had, I wouldn’t have recognized him. To this day, I don’t know what he looks like.”
“But I thought you had younger brothers,” Marietta said, no longer afraid to show that she was interested.
“They’re my half-brothers. We have the same mother, but different fathers. Not that theirs was much better than mine. He only stayed around long enough to get my mother pregnant twice in a little more than a year.” Jax paused. “Billy’s nineteen, and Drew’s eighteen. That bastard who abandoned them missed out on seeing two great kids grow up.”
Marietta could barely speak over the lump in her throat, because now she knew why he was so insistent on being part of their baby’s life. He didn’t understand that having a father in the home didn’t ensure a happy childhood.
“Tracy told me you went to Drew’s high school graduation,” Marietta said.
He smiled, turned over her palm, traced circles on it with his index finger. “I did. The day before the party, Drew got a letter of acceptance from MIT. He was so thrilled, every once in a while he’d just let out a whoop.”
Marietta smiled, picturing the boy. “He must be pretty bright to get accepted into MIT.”
“He is,” Jax said, pride evident in his voice, “although sometimes I think he’s too smart for his own good. Billy’s smart, too. If you show him a plant, any plant, he can identify it. He’s at the University of Illinois.”
“Aaah. A scientist in the making.”
“Yeah. He’s one after your own heart. At this point in his life, I’m pretty sure he embraces that whole sex-without-love thing.”
She didn’t laugh, but her lips twitched.
“I don’t envy your mother, having two boys in college at the same time,” Marietta said, thinking of the spiraling tuition costs at Kennedy College. “What does she do?”
“Cooks, bakes, cleans, sews, gardens, cans and worries about us. I’m always telling her to take it easy, but she’s worked so hard all her life that I don’t think she can.”
Jax told Marietta more with what he hadn’t said than with what he had. His mother was obviously no longer working outside the home. Neither of the men who fathered her children had stuck around to help her out, so that meant Jax had. If he’d come to his mother’s aid, that probably meant he was helping his brothers, too.
“You’re the reason your mother doesn’t have to work, aren’t you?” Marietta asked. “I’ll bet you’re putting your brothers through college, too.”
Jax didn’t answer right away, giving Marietta time to form another insight.
“That’s why you work so hard,” Marietta said.
Jax shrugged his impressive shoulders. “I’m not doing anything anybody else wouldn’t do.”
He was wrong, of course. Marietta didn’t know many men who would take on the financial responsibility of three family members. Jax truly didn’t know how remarkable that made him.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your brothers and your mother before?” Marietta asked after a moment. “Why did you tell Tracy that you were going to Drew’s graduation and not me?”
He brought her palm to his lips and kissed it, sending delicious little shudders over her skin. “I didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“Not interested in my baby’s grandmother and her uncles? The baby will be genetically related to your family, so it seems to me information about them will only benefit me.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “You won’t let up, will you?”
She looked at him from under her lashes. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You won’t admit that you’re interested in my family, because you’re interested in me.”
“Of course I’m interested in you.” She completely ignored what she knew he meant. “You’re the direct genetic link to our baby.” She paused. “What are you grinning about?”
He squeezed her hand. “That’s the first time you’ve said our baby.”
“It is?”
“It is. Does this mean you’ll give us a chance?”
“It means,” Marietta said slowly, “that I’m going to let you take me out to dinner tomorrow night.”
His mouth fell in what looked like genuine disappointment. “I’d love to, but I can’t. I’m flying out of town tomorrow afternoon.”
“But you just got back!”
“My job�
��s demanding, Marietta. I have to be on the road a lot.”
“What kind of job—”
Before she guessed what he intended, he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She’d been thinking about this mouth-to-mouth contact far too often since the last time he’d kissed her to stop him. Even though his lips weren’t operating on all symmetrical cylinders, the reality was even better than the fantasy. His mouth, even the slightly plump part, was soft and insistent against hers.
The heating pad slipped when she leaned forward to get closer to him. She ignored it, opening her mouth and inviting his tongue to slip inside. He took the invitation as one of his hands tangled in her hair, and the other moved restlessly over her diaphanous nightgown until it cupped her breast.
Her nipples tautened, a hot ball of desire formed deep within her and her breath mingled with his. His mouth left hers to trail kisses over her cheek, along her jaw line, into her neck. She reveled in the scratchy feel of his emerging beard against her smooth skin, of his hands on her body.
Then, maddeningly, he stopped. He lowered his hands until they rested on her waist, and lifted his head so his forehead leaned weakly against hers. She cried out in protest and tried to pull his mouth back to hers, but he put his fingers to her lips and traced the dark smudges under her eyes.
“There’s nothing I’d like more than to make love to you all night and have breakfast, lunch and dinner with you tomorrow,” he said. “But I can’t take advantage of a tired, pregnant woman with a backache.”
“My back doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”
He laughed and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “As much as I’d like to believe that, I don’t.”
She was about to protest again when her back throbbed, surprising her. For long moments, the only ache she’d felt had nothing to do with her back.
“Tell you what,” he said. “I’ll take you to breakfast tomorrow morning and drive you to work. Then, on Monday when I get back, I’ll take a rain check. On everything.” He caressed the side of her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes so she couldn’t mistake his meaning. “Deal?”
She didn’t hesitate in answering, because, in the last half-hour, she’d realized something amazing. She didn’t just desire him. She liked him, too.
“Deal,” she said, and they both smiled.
Chapter 19
The Put Up With Us Players performed in a strip shopping center in Arlington in a space Marietta remembered as having once contained a shop for wild-bird lovers. The owner, who’d flown the coop after barely a year in business, must have concluded the feathered trade was truly for the birds.
As Marietta sat stiffly in a seat at a one-hundred-twenty—
degree angle to the stage, she thought whoever designed the seating had done it with the flying critters in mind. Anybody else was in danger of getting a nosebleed.
Marietta supposed the towering perches made sense, considering that was the only way to jam seating for a hundred into the cramped space. Twenty minutes before show time, however, the theater was barely hall full.
Tracy had warned her the performances of the Put Up With Us Players didn’t appeal to a mainstream audience, but she’d hoped the oddballs in the area would turn out.
Heaven knew there were enough of them. Why, just today, Vicky Valenzuela, president of the FOCs, had stopped by her office to ask her to autograph pictures of female elephants. Vicky had adopted the animal as a mascot for her organization after hearing Marietta talk about their independence from their male counterparts.
Marietta hoped Vicky didn’t procure a live one for their next rally. She could picture it now. The pixie-sized feminist and the mammoth mammal.
If she’d known the theater would be so empty, she would have asked Vicky if she and the FOCs enjoyed improvisational theater. Chances are the title of the play would have frightened them away, though. How many people wanted to spend their time on a play that proclaimed itself “Insignificant?”
Another theatergoer entered the building, which Marietta viewed as a good thing until she saw it was Ryan Caminetti, looking darkly handsome in a long-sleeved khaki-colored shirt and worn jeans. Scanning the selection of available seats, his dark eyes fell on hers and locked.
Once upon a time, before he’d wronged Tracy, they’d enjoyed many evenings engaged in lively debate. Marietta didn’t agree with Ryan about much, but always found his opinions informative and interesting. She’d even considered him to be a friend.
She hoped he would heed her stony stare and find a seat elsewhere, but knew he wouldn’t. Ryan had never backed down from an argument. He wouldn’t dodge a confrontation. He climbed the steps toward her, his lips curved in greeting.
“Hey, Marietta. Mind if I join you?” He settled into the vacant seat beside her before she could answer that yes, she did mind.
She shifted away from him and gave a brief nod. “Ryan.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. His jaw tightened, and she knew she was making him uncomfortable. She was perversely glad. She certainly wouldn’t try to make things easier on him.
“I haven’t congratulated you yet on your pregnancy,” he said after a moment. “I think it’s terrific news.”
She gave him a sharp look. “How do you know I’m pregnant?”
His dark eyebrows rose, calling attention to his equally dark eyes. His features missed being symmetrical by a few millimeters here and there, but he was still a very good-looking man. No wonder Tracy was still hung up on him. “Tracy told me. Is that a problem?”
It was, but there was nothing Marietta could do about it now. “It’s not common knowledge.”
“I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried. I know you’re not a gossip.” She paused, because it had pained her to admit anything favorable about his character. “I just don’t want people to know I’m pregnant yet.”
“I bet that’s hard on Jax. He probably feels like handing out cigars. I know I would.”
She blew out a breath. “You know about Jax, too.”
“Why shouldn’t I? You and he are involved, aren’t you?”
She didn’t immediately respond, unsure of how to answer that. Yes, Jax was the man who’d gotten her pregnant. Yes, he lived next door. And, yes, she was considering sleeping with him again. Looking at it that way, she supposed there was only one answer she could give.
“Yes,” she said. “I guess we are involved.”
Ryan nodded, as though he’d known it all along. “Where is Jax? I would have thought he’d be here.”
“He wanted to be here,” Marietta said slowly as her brain worked. Since Ryan knew so much about Jax, did that mean Tracy was spending more time with him than she’d let on? “He’s out of town on business until Monday.”
“He’s a great guy, your Jax. Really funny, too. I bet he keeps you laughing.”
Marietta’s brows furrowed. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same man? Jax tells the worst jokes. I don’t think he knows a funny one.”
“He must not have told you about the worn-out tires ending up on skid row. Or the refrigerator humming because it doesn’t know the words.” Mysteriously, Ryan chuckled.
“Actually, he has,” Marietta said, then pinned him with a direct look. “What are you doing, Ryan?”
He returned her stare. “I’m waiting for the play to begin.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What are you doing back in Tracy’s life? She was getting along just fine without you. Having you hanging around is just confusing her.”
His jaw clenched, his nostrils flared and she remembered how stubborn he could be. “Maybe I think she needs to be confused.”
“What kind of statement is that? Your divorce will be final in a month. Tracy doesn’t need you around jeopardizing that.”
“I’m not the one who wanted the divorce,” he said tightly. “I still don’t want it.”
“I knew it.”
Marietta shook her head in dismay. “I knew you were trying to get her back, but Tracy thinks you just want to be friends. How’d you manage that?”
“I do want to be her friend.” He paused, and she could tell by the strain on his face that he wanted so much more. “If she can’t bring herself to trust me, I’ll have to accept that friends are all we can be.”
“How can she trust you after what we saw in that hotel lobby?”
Marietta expected shame to come into his eyes. To her surprise, she saw anger instead.
“Did you ever consider,” he asked in a low voice, “that you were wrong about what you saw in that lobby? Did it ever occur to you that maybe that woman invited me to have lunch at the hotel because she wanted to get me into bed?”
Marietta hadn’t considered it then. She wouldn’t be gullible enough to entertain the ridiculous notion now. “So now you’re going to tell me her seduction didn’t work?”
“Yes,” Ryan said, and there was force behind the word. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. I’m guilty of being naïve. That’s all. You and Tracy saw her kissing me. If you’d stuck around, you would have seen me stop her.”
The image of Jax thrusting away the buxom, beautiful drunk the other night at Paddy’s Pub sprang to Marietta’s mind. If she had walked away a moment sooner, she would have believed the worst of him, just as she and Tracy had believed the worst of Ryan. For the first time, a sliver of doubt chipped away at Marietta’s consciousness. Logic warred with it.
Man’s propensity to stray was a scientific fact. She still couldn’t quite believe that Jax hadn’t known she was behind him when he’d rebuffed the woman just as she couldn’t believe that Ryan was telling the truth. Especially since he’d rendezvoused with the woman at a hotel instead of a restaurant.
“So you make a habit of meeting amorous women for lunch at hotels?” Marietta asked.
“She was a client who said she wanted to discuss the house I was building for her,” Ryan said. “She said she was staying at the hotel, because she was having problems with her husband.”
“Oh, please.” The doubt was mushrooming, but Marietta ignored it and injected her voice with sarcasm. “I’m a biologist, remember? A man doesn’t turn away an attractive woman offering sex. Especially when he’s the one who registered for the room.”
The Misconception Page 21