“It seems like you are creating a divide. Dismissing what we are.”
“Not at all. If you didn’t have football you wouldn’t be happy. You wouldn’t bring what you do to this relationship. You’d be moody, miserable. You’d have no passion for living. That’s what I’m saying. I’m learning what my passion is, exploring the options for my future—a future where I see you by my side. I don’t want a divide, and I don’t feel one.”
“Me either and I don’t want to. Without you, Ems, I don’t know what I’d do.”
“That option is off the table. You’ll never have to wonder.”
“Promise?”
“Yep.”
“No contingency? Like as long as I don’t do something stupid.”
“You know how I feel about that word. Stupid is with malice. Unfixable. You wouldn’t. If you screw up, you fix it. That’s called a pathway to life, babe, not stupid. We all have growing pains.”
“Speaking of growing pains, where did that new dent come from in your bumper?”
“Which one?”
“What do you mean which one?”
“Um,” I ponder that. I have no clue. Take your pick. Those are the answers I have, but I don’t think that’s what he wants to hear by the incredulous look he’s shooting me.
“How many things have you hit, Ems?”
“Hit is a bit of a harsh word for my cuddles with my car. I tap the mailbox occasionally. Sometimes I give the corner of the garage a hug, it looks lonely and plain. I just try to give it a spark of life. The trashcans are a funny story. It’s an obstacle course my dad has challenged me with. We just discussed it this afternoon.”
“Holy shit. You’re a menace to the driving world.”
“Hush. I haven’t hit a moving target . . . yet. Keep dissing my driving, though, and I’ll take it as you issuing a challenge.”
“Oh God. No baby, no. I just need you to be careful.”
“It’s not like the garbage can is going to jump up and beat my ass from road rage. I doubt the garage door is going to whip out a gun, and I can guarantee you the mailbox has nothing for me. That fucker ends up laying prone from a quick little hug.”
“What scares me the most is that you’re serious.”
“I don’t take driving lightly. And you know I’m not generous with my hugs. They have to be earned. Every item I’ve touched with my car has been with careful thought, and we now have a lasting relationship.”
I watch his head fall back, I hear the sound of laughter escape from his chest. I see the crinkle near his eyes; I feel the vibrations coming from his body. Most of all, I’m wrapped in his love. His laughter. His arms.
We’re finally home.
Chapter Eighteen
William
Every time I leave her, it gets harder and harder. After being home almost a month this time, it took all I had to pry my hands off her. Spring Break can’t come soon enough. I hope one of us will get a weekend to visit, but it isn’t looking good with our schedules. I’ll have spring training and weight lifting, studying, and midterms. She has another three AP classes, Nana, midterms, and her running. I still think she’s too thin. After our third conversation and her threatening bodily harm, I backed off. I’m just glad it’s not as excessive as it was during summer.
I head to my room, passing Seth’s open door. “Hey,” he calls. I was hoping to sneak in. Things aren’t as tense with us, but it’s because we have separation from the town and their triggers. They never seem to leave campus, and it’s made my breaks downright euphoric. I’ve reforged a bond with my parents, Emma isn’t on my ass to stay away from them, and the douchenuggets aren’t spewing shit that causes me to consider murder. Turning the other cheek was getting old.
“Hey, man.” I remain cordial.
“You just getting home?”
“Yep.”
“How was small town life?”
“Good.” Brian enters the room.
“See your girl?” I bristle; he knows this topic is off limits.
I ignore him. “I was just making conversation,” he chuckles, full of shit.
“Pick another topic.” I make sure he knows I’m serious. He raises his hands in surrender.
“You looking forward to hitting the weights?” I nod. I crave the burn in my muscles, leaving it all in the room, and come fall I leave it on the field. We have a great chance next year, and it fuels me, excites me.
“See ya.” I make my way to my room for some peace and quiet. Besides team things, we give each other wide berth. I dread summer when we are in the same town for a few weeks. I am hoping against hope they’ll stay here, but I know they won’t. The dorms shut down for a few weeks at the end of summer, and they’ll have no choice but to be menacing back home.
School is intense. I’m no closer to knowing what the hell I want to do besides football, classes aren’t difficult, but I don’t breeze through them either. Emma is busy, but we keep our promise to interact every day. It’s multiple times daily with texts and such, but we have an actual conversation via FaceTime or phone every evening. I usually go to the dining hall and bring the food back to my room so I can have uninterrupted time with her. I’m not a total recluse and have met some great guys on the team. Ones I have no history with, and bonus points they don’t act like bigots. The friendships are a bit superficial, but they’re good guys at the core. Blake is the only one who continually asks me to hit the pub with him after I turn them down over and over. He’s from Florida and a laid back guy.
“Jacobs, we going tonight?” I shake my head at him. Boy doesn’t catch a clue.
“Not me. Have fun.”
“Come on.” He follows me into my room.
“Make yourself at home.” I don’t hide my sarcasm. I watch him look at the pictures of Emma and me.
“This your girl?”
“Yep,” I can’t help the pride that gives me.
“She’s gorgeous.” I level him with a glare. “Hey, not interested. Just stating a fact.”
“Keep it to yourself, Samuels.” Blake Samuels is a good guy until he discusses my girl’s looks.
He laughs at my possessiveness. Emma would have my balls in a sling if I pulled that shit with her. “One game of pool. I’ll break you in nice and easy.” He’s still begging me to go with him.
I sigh. “One game.”
“Deal.” I follow him out, and we walk off campus to the strip center next door. Neither of us drink, I’m underage, and we’re both in training. Sitting back at a table waiting for our turn to play pool, the twenty questions begin. “How you doing, fresh meat?”
“Good. I love playing, but I miss home.”
“I’m glad we have you, but how’d you end up here and not a bigger school?”
“Long story.” I don’t want to get into it. Picking up a fry and shoving it in my mouth, I hope he drops it.
“I’m all ears.”
“I got into a fight with some teammates at Championship Game. University pulled its interest.”
“Shit man. That’s not like you. Did you get your temper under control?”
“Nah, I don’t have a temper. Just pushed to that point.”
“Spill it.”
“This isn’t happy hour. You’re worse than a girl for gossip.”
He doesn’t quip back but stares me down. I flag the waitress for a refill, glance at the pool tables, basically avoiding this conversation as long as I can. I settle back, and brace myself for the judgment that’s come all my life. “I’m from a small town four hours north. Outside of Atlanta. I was adopted.” I look at him. Story time over.
“Hell no man, that doesn’t explain shit.”
“Outsiders don’t fit in, with my heritage and my parents, it was rough.” I don’t know how to ease into this. I’m not ashamed; it’s just a fact that a lot of people judge. “My parents, my dads, are gay. They adopted me from Honduras when I was almost three. On top of my heritage, I didn’t speak English, having homosexual dads . . .
it didn’t bode well with most kids my age. Seth and Brian led the lynch mob, and I tried to avoid it, ignore it, whatever I could to evade it. They said their bullshit; I didn’t believe it or listen. My parents, color of my skin, my minority status . . . it was never ending. My girlfriend hates that shit and harped on me when I didn’t defend myself. It came to a head, and I laid Brian out.”
“Hell yeah. Those guys are some serious assholes.” He fist bumps me and seems to let it all go. Surprising. “One question.” I knew it was too good to be true. I nod, letting him know he can ask it. “Why didn’t you defend your parents and yourself all those years? You don’t believe that shit, do you?”
“No, I don’t believe it. At first, I was a scrawny kid, no idea of the prestigious family I was being thrust into. My girl lives across the street, and her parents were like the golden children growing up. She’s scrappy, so I was busy defending her to them. I got my ass handed to me a few times. As I got older and understood what they were saying, I didn’t defend my parents because I don’t feel they are doing anything wrong. I wasn’t harmed in any way. Hell, they did me a favor. Adopting me from a shitty situation, giving me everything growing up. They gave me a chance.”
“I get it. But there comes a time you have to take a stand.”
“Yeah, but at what cost? They are ruthless. The shit they do in that town is deep. They don’t have rules about who gets hurt. I defend my parents, fight for principle, and it draws attention. Attention they don’t like. I’m doing what I have to do to ensure the safety of those I love. Beating the shit out of them isn’t going to change their minds. They believe the ignorance they spew. Enough people look at me like I have the plague, so it’s best to draw less attention.”
He sips his drink, eyes narrowed. “That’s why you’re here?” He poses it as a question, but I’m pretty sure he knows the answer.
“Yeah. That’s why I’m here. Plus, I get to play ball. Not all bad.” I laugh. “Seriously, though. They’ve backed off since I signed, and I’m hoping it stays that way.”
“Jacobs, you’re a bigger man than me. I get your reasons, not saying I’d be able to do the same thing. I got your back if you need anything.”
“It’s all good.” We missed our chance to play pool, so we shoot the shit a bit and head back to the dorms.
I’m finally heading home. Ten days got cut to six with football and training, Ems was upset, but I reassured her I’d make it up to her. Begging and pleading, I got permission to take her away for two nights. Going back to Tybee Island, alone this time, is a surprise to her because I was sure Luke would flip his shit and deny me. I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth and don’t care how the hell my parents and Phoebe managed it. Granted, Ems will be eighteen in a few months, but she’s still in high school.
I text her that I’m running late when in truth I’m five minutes from her house. Her damn sad face emoji comes through, but she’ll be distracted enough I can sneak in and surprise her. I stop a few houses down and walk through the side yard to sneak in the back door. Phoebe and Luke are at the table smiling. Well, Phoebe is smiling, Luke is glaring. I nod my head at him and sneak into the living room where I know she is. I put my hands over her eyes, and she squeals. I may have permanent damage to my hearing from that, but I’ll deal. “Liar,” she giggles at the same time, launching herself at me.
“Go pack a bag.” I kiss her.
“What?”
“You. Me. Tybee Island. Two nights.” She looks over my shoulder and puts her fingers over her lips hushing me.
“My dad will freak if he hears this,” she whispers. I lean close to her.
“Your dad approved this,” I whisper back. Her mouth falls open, and her eyes round like saucers.
“What the heck?”
“Go.Pack.A.Bag.”
She flips me off as she heads to her room, and I head back to the kitchen to face the firing squad. “Thank you both.”
“One hair on her head is harmed, I’m killing you. It will ruin years of a great friendship between your parents and us, but that’s a sacrifice I’ll make.”
“Lucas Nichols,” Phoebe swats him, “we know you’ll take care of Emma. We trust you.” She’s saying the words to Lucas more than me, but I won’t rock the boat.
“I understand, sir. I hope you know you never have to worry about her when she’s with me.”
“Why do you think she’s going?” He’s a fair man. A good man, but Ems is his baby. I know he’s giving me his trust, I just hope he knows I’m grateful for it.
“Ready.” Ems kisses them bye and pulls me, rushing our escape. “Holy shit, I thought my dad was going to kill you,” she says as she slams the door to the truck.
“He will if he finds your birth control pills. You rushed to pack, sure you have everything?” She packed in record time. “I haven’t seen my parents.” I kiss her and start the truck.
“That’s gonna have to wait until we get home. I’ll make them a cake or something, but I’m afraid the longer we stay here the better chance my dad will come to his senses and banish me to the tower, never to be seen again.”
“We don’t want that, princess.”
“No, we don’t.”
“Hit anything else with your car?” I’m kidding.
“Your dad’s truck, my mom’s lawn chair, my dad’s golf cart, and Ms. Graham’s station wagon.” Ms. Graham is the principal at our high school.
“I was just kidding. Don’t ever ask to drive my truck.”
“I don’t need to. I have my own.”
“I can’t believe your parents still let you drive.”
“They don’t,” she laughs. “Dad has been driving me everywhere for the last month.”
“You’ve made it hell on him.”
“Of course. I mean I’ve had a mall trip at least four times a week. Then to the store to buy tampons, which I didn’t need. Then there was the night he got comfy in his chair and I just had to have ice cream…from Stubby’s.” Stubby’s is the best damn ice cream parlor, and it is three towns over.
“You are cruel.”
“I bet I have my car back in a few weeks.”
“Lord help us all.”
Our time flew by. It is time to head back this afternoon. We’re fishing off the dock, enjoying our last few hours together.
“How’s school?”
“Good. One more year and off to college.”
“Still thinking of Georgia?”
She shrugs. “You’re not there, so I don’t see the point.” My heart rate accelerates. She’s being evasive, and that’s never a good thing with her.
“So where?”
“There are great schools in Washington for my major, but I don’t want to be that far from you or Nana.” Shit. I didn’t think of this possibility when I signed with Southern.
“Go where you want, Ems. We’ll be fine,” I swallow my fear. I know we will survive but that’s a hell of a lot of miles. Hell, we’ve seen each other three times in almost a year, and only four hours separate us. We can do this; our future is carved in stone. How we get there isn’t the important part, but I’ll feel helpless if she needs me, and I can’t get in my truck and reach her. She is strong, has a bright career in front of her. I’ll be left, discarded again. The back and forth conflict in my head echoes in my heart. Fear, pride, disappointment, all wage war inside of me. What kind of man am I if I don’t give her my support?
“Talk to me. Wasn’t it you who told me that communication is important?”
“I’m scared. Not for us, but for me. I don’t doubt us, baby. I just can’t imagine not being able to get to you if you need me. Or if I need you. It’s a lot, Ems. I didn’t know you were thinking of a different school.”
“I wasn’t. I applied to several, but this one is ranked third for my degree. They have a Masters program there. I don’t know. I’ll end up at Georgia, so I don’t know why I brought it up.”
“What do you want to do?” I need the truth from her.
“Part of me wants to go. Explore. Spread my wings.”
I’m choking. “What does the other part say?”
“Nana,” she swipes the tears frustrating her, “you. I don’t want to be there and you here.”
“You’re not telling me something.” Her tears clue me into her thwarting.
“I don’t like to think about it, but if Nana isn’t here, what’s keeping me?”
Damn. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing new. Her body is strong, her mind is the same. No change.” Except there is. Three months ago Emma could handle the peaks and valleys. Now it’s becoming too much for her, and she wants to escape. She’s a runner—from life, from reality, from admitting she’s human.
“Ems, she’d want you to live your life. If you want distance from the situation, take it. She won’t be upset.”
“Because she won’t fucking know, Will.”
“Right now she won’t. One day she will, and it will be fine. Follow your heart.”
“Then I guess I should apply to Southern.” She smirks. That wouldn’t be bad.
I wag my eyebrows. “I’ll be getting my own apartment that year.” I tug her hair.
“Not happening.” I pout, and she bites my lip. Serious talk over, she has to work this out.
“Ems, we’ll make it work. We always do.” She holds me closer. Loves me harder. Kisses me longer.
We just have to get through until summer. Freedom awaits us. After football. Summer school. Camp. Nana. Life.
Chapter Nineteen
Emma
The bell dismissing school was like magic to my ears. A fucking harmony that could bring me to my knees. That shrill noise symbolizes my freedom for the next twelve weeks, aside from eight weeks of summer school. It’s four hours a day with a much lighter workload. William will be home this week; he has a small reprieve before camp. During the year our time is limited and now the summer is following the same pattern. It truly sucks. I want to go home, fall into bed and sleep for a solid eight hours. Holly and I are flying to New York for her to visit a few schools. My mom volunteered to chaperone us, and we’re staying in the apartment she lived in while she danced for the ballet company. I have no idea why she’s kept it all this time, but my dad swears it’s a good investment.
Embracing Emma (Companion to Brisé) Page 13