Then Lydia had jerked the rug from under him by dumping him and taking the children out of his life.
As he tipped the fourth bottle of beer to his mouth, he heard a car door slam. He didn’t move, other than to lower the bottle after he’d sucked it dry. Whoever was at his front door could leave. He didn’t want company.
The doorbell chimed. He stayed where he was.
There was a loud rap of knuckles on the door. He sent his rocker into motion, but only to lean over and grab another beer.
Boot heels clomping on the stairs leading up his deck penetrated his beer haze. Damn it. Had to be family. They were the only ones who would come to his back door if he didn’t answer the front.
“Jason?”
He should have known. Travis, the nosiest older brother ever born.
“Jason?”
Oh goodie. Travis had brought his wife.
The gate at the top of the stairs creaked as it swung open.
“There you are,” Travis said. “You didn’t answer your door.”
“And yet you couldn’t take that as a hint,” Jason answered.
“What are you doing? How many of these have you had?”
Jason rolled his eyes––which he suspected were bloodshot––up toward his brother, who was hulking over him like a vulture.
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Jason lifted the last of the six-pack to his mouth.
“Jason.” Caroline squatted beside his chair. “Lydia called. We’ve been worried about you.”
Jason looked at his sister-in-law and sighed. “I’m fine. Thank you for worrying about me.”
When he lifted the bottle to his mouth, Caroline reached over and rested her soft hand on his arm. “I love you as much as I love my own brother. It hurts me to see you like this.”
Her words ripped a hole in the secret place he stashed grief. His next couple of breaths came in shuddering gasps.
“Lydia’s pregnant,” he said, the words acid to his soul. “And it’s not mine.”
She didn’t appear surprised at his revelation.
“Come on,” she said, taking his arm. “Let’s go inside and talk where we’ll be more comfortable.”
Jason allowed her to lead him inside his own house. He dropped into a leather chair in the living room as Caroline and Travis found seats on the matching sofa.
“I know you never wanted children,” she began, “but accidents happen.”
He shook his head. “Not mine,” he stated flatly.
“How can you be so sure?”
He glanced at his brother. He’d almost rather cut off his balls than admit in front of Travis that he was less than a real man.
He shook his head. “I know, okay?” He started to rise, but Caroline set her hand on his knee.
“You can trust me, Jason. There’s nothing I haven’t heard and nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel.” She looked at Travis. “Maybe you could give Jason and me a little privacy.”
Travis stood.
“Wait,” Jason said. “He might as well stay. You’ll just tell him everything later anyway.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Caroline said. “I don’t discuss patients with him. Ever. Whatever you tell me stays between you and me.”
“Sit down, Travis. You might as well know the truth.” Jason rubbed his eyes, stalling for time, not that time would change anything about his reality. “Okay,” he said on a long exhale. “I know that the baby Lydia is carrying isn’t mine because—” he gulped in a breath and blurted, “—I’m sterile. Okay? You happy now?” He dropped his gaze to the floor.
“Oh, bro,” Travis said.
“Wait a minute,” Caroline replied, her skepticism obvious in her tone. “Sterile? Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Jason snapped. “Sterile, as in shooting blanks. No swimmers. Sterile.”
“Who told you that?” Caroline asked.
“I didn’t make this up.” Jason met Caroline’s gaze. “I’ve known for almost ten years that I couldn’t have children.”
Caroline patted Jason’s thigh. “Start at the beginning. Who told you that you were sterile?”
He sighed. “Dr. Franks in Austin. When I was in law school, I saw him for fatigue. I was so exhausted my brain was fuzzy. My hair was falling out. My skin itched like crazy. I thought it was all due to the lack of sleep and long hours of studying. He ran some tests and told me I had hypothyroidism.”
She nodded. “Right. We talked about that last year when I refilled your prescription for levothyroxine.”
Jason threw up his hands. “There you have it.”
Caroline frowned. “There I have what?”
“You’re the doctor, Caroline. Do I have to paint you a picture? The hypothyroidism made me infertile.”
She shook her head. “Um, Jason. I think you may have misunderstood Dr. Franks. Untreated hypothyroidism may lead to infertility, but you’ve been taking your levothyroxine, right?”
“Yeah. Every morning.”
“Let me ask you something else. Have you had a semen analysis done?”
“Jeez, Caroline.” Heat soared up Travis’s neck to his face.
Caroline looked at her husband. “Shoo. I think your brother and I need some alone time.”
Travis leapt to his feet, the relief to be leaving evident on his face. “Yeah. I’ll, um, go on the back deck and, um, do something.” He charged for the door as if being chased by a bull.
As soon as the deck door clicked shut, Caroline turned back to Jason. “Okay. It’s just me and you. Semen analysis?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Yes. Of course I did. I’m not an idiot, Caroline.” He wiped his hands down his face. “This is embarrassing.”
“Not for me,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Fine, then. For me.”
“Jason, didn’t your doctor explain that the infertility can often be reversed over time if your thyroid problem is treated? We need to get another semen analysis and find out.”
“Can you stop saying semen?”
She chuckled. “Fine. Not sure what I’ll call it instead. How about your man juice?”
Jason snorted. “Not much better.”
“Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to call a doctor I know in Dallas. You are going to go see him and we are going to get a definitive answer.”
“Okay, I guess.”
She stood and he rose. “I’ll call Dr. Sherman first thing Monday morning. Be ready to go see him.” She kissed his cheek. “And you might want to think about how you are going to apologize to Lydia.”
“We’ll see.”
“Jason. Do you honestly believe for one second that Lydia has been with another man?” She waved her hand when he opened his mouth. “And exactly when would she have had time to have an affair with another man? On her lunch break? Hard to do since we almost never leave the office, and when we do, it’s lunch together.” She tapped the side of his head. “You’ve got a brain. Use it. From what I could gather through her crying is that you were pretty harsh with her today.”
“I know, I know. She caught me off-guard with that pregnancy bomb. I was so jealous at the idea that she’d been with another man, I lost it.”
“We’ll get to the bottom of this. I promise.”
The next two days comprised the weekend from hell. On Sunday, after a million false starts, he called Lydia. After ten rings, her answering service picked up, but he didn’t leave a message. After all, he wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to say.
After a couple of beers, and a few more false starts, he rang her cell. There was a click and then he heard, “The number dialed has call restrictions in place that prevent the completion of this call.” After that, the phone disconnected. Stunned, he held out the phone and stared at it. Lydia had blocked his cell phone num
ber. Calls from his house phone resulted in the same message. All his personal phone numbers had been blocked.
He stretched out on the couch, pissed at her for cutting him off and angry at himself for being such an ass. Thanks to his sister-in-law, he’d know this week one way or the other if he was shooting blanks or firing live ammo.
If blanks, then there was no way for him to be the father of Lydia’s baby. Oh, he hadn’t bothered to question if she was sure she was pregnant. If Lydia said she was, then she was. But if it wasn’t his baby, then who was the sonofabitch he was going to kill with his bare hands?
If he found out he’d been wrong all these years and wasn’t sterile and the baby was his…then what? He’d done a damn fine job destroying any chance he might have had to get Lydia back.
He draped his forearm over his eyes. What he should have done two days ago was throw his arms around the woman he loved when she said she was pregnant and shout, “Thank you, Jesus.”
Instead, he’d kicked her out of his office, his boot firmly planted in her ass.
Yeah, he was the ass in this story.
As he drifted off to sleep, he knew exactly what he needed to do. It wasn’t going to be easy, but he refused to spend the rest of his life without Lydia no matter what the sperm test revealed.
Chapter Thirteen
Ida and Larry Henson wasted no time in getting set up in their rental house down the street from Lydia. Since they had decided to keep their Florida house as a second home, relocating to Texas basically involved moving clothing. Lydia was trying to give them space while also giving them all the time they wanted with their grandchildren. And they wanted a lot of time. On Friday afternoon, they took Ellery and Annie to their house for the weekend. The plan was for Lydia to come on Sunday for lunch.
Sunday morning, Lydia woke with a dull throb in her chest. She rubbed at the pain, but no amount of finger massaging could reach the sting she still felt from Jason’s rebuke. Of course she’d known he would probably be surprised––and maybe a little upset––at the unplanned pregnancy. However, never in her wildest fantasies had she imagined that he would accuse her of being with another man.
And the “I’m sterile” had been a bombshell she hadn’t seen coming. All those years together and he hadn’t trusted her enough to mention he might be sterile. She was a doctor, damnit. Not only would she have understood, but there were tests she could have done to figure out the extent of his problem. He obviously wasn’t sterile. She bore the evidence of that in her uterus.
Her hand dropped to her abdomen and she pressed. In the hustle and confusion of her sister and brother-in-law’s deaths, their funerals and dealing with all the details of the estate, she’d missed some birth control pills. Many birth control pills. But she hadn’t given the skipped pills much thought. She had so many other things to worry about. Even after their night together at his house in May, she hadn’t been concerned about getting pregnant. There’d been no other man for her since Jason had entered her life. She’d never wanted anyone else.
When she’d first missed a period, she’d shrugged it off as stress. Lord knew, she’d been carrying her load of it. When she’d missed her second period, she’d almost blown it off too. Instead, she’d done a pregnancy test, almost fainting when it came back positive.
The only person she’d confided in was Caroline. Pregnancies could be unpredictable in the first trimester. Miscarriages early in pregnancies were not uncommon. She wouldn’t have told Jason, but Caroline had insisted––and Lydia agreed––that he had a right to know.
She heard cooing and babbling coming from her old bedroom. She smiled. Levi was awake. Man, she loved that kid. He made her laugh every day with his attempts at talking and his natural curiosity. Keeping him safe, as in tiny fingers out of electrical outlets, was a daily challenge.
But there was a definite lack of noise in the house without Ellery and Annie. She glanced at the clock. Almost eight. If the girls had been home, they’d have been up by seven. She missed those two.
It was impossible for her to imagine her life now without children. She would have missed so much. Sure, raising kids was as hard––no, harder––then she’d ever imagined. But the rewards outweighed the stress tenfold. How could Jason have not wanted children?
Was it that he didn’t want children, or had he only said that because he believed himself sterile? A million dollar question that she’d never have the answer to.
Pushing her arms over her head, she stretched and yawned. Having her own bedroom and bathroom was a blessing. She climbed out of bed and headed to her old room. Levi must have heard her coming. He was standing and bouncing when she walked in.
“Morning, big guy.”
Drool ran down his chin as he laughed.
Her heart swelled with love as she lifted Levi into her arms. The depth of love she felt for these three kids was like nothing she’d ever experienced before.
And before long, she’d be having her own baby.
Four children. All under the age of five. She had no idea how she would cope, but they’d make it.
Levi rubbed his face on her nightshirt, leaving a glob of mucus. She hugged him tight. Yeah, she would have missed a lot without having children.
* * * * *
Monday brought heavy rain and an even heavier patient schedule.
“You’d think some of these people would have canceled because of the weather,” she grumbled to Caroline as they passed in the hall.
“Nah. They all want to see your smiling face and sparkling personality.”
Lydia snorted. “I’m hiding in my office for five minutes to put my feet up.”
“No problem. Enjoy.”
Lydia dropped into her desk chair moments before their receptionist knocked on her office door. “Look what came for you.” She set a bouquet of two dozen red roses with baby’s breath and fresh greenery on Lydia’s desk. “They are beautiful.”
Lydia pulled the card from the holder.
Love, Jason
She tore the small white card into tiny pieces and dropped them into her waste basket. Screw him.
“Care you take these with you?” Lydia gestured to the floral arrangement. “Maybe put them at the front desk so our patients can enjoy them.”
The receptionist nodded. “Sure,” She swept up the vase and left, wise enough to leave her questions unasked.
Caroline took the chair in front of Lydia’s desk. “Pretty roses.”
“Hmm.”
“Did he call this weekend?”
“I don’t know. I blocked his phone numbers.”
Caroline scoffed. “Serves him right. But on the other hand, it’s going to be hard for him to grovel his way back into your good graces if you block his calls.”
Lydia leaned back in her chair with a long exhale. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but Travis and I blundered our way along until we figured it out.”
“Did Travis talk to Jason this weekend?”
Caroline shrugged. “Travis worked all day Saturday and Sunday. They might have talked, but if they did, he didn’t share the conversation. Look, Lydia, Jason screwed up. I know that. You know that. Hell, I’m sure Jason knows that. But jealousy can produce some very strong reactions.”
“What do you mean?”
“Remember Memorial Day when you walked into the barn and found Lisa Billings millimeters from kissing Jason?”
Lydia scoffed. “I wanted to snatch every strand of hair from her head.”
“Exactly. Now, think of how Jason must have felt on Friday. He believes he’s sterile. You walk in and announce that not only are you pregnant, but he’s the father. He can’t see how that’s possible. You must have been with another man. You don’t think he wouldn’t be crazy with jealousy?”
Lydia chewed on her
nail. “Maybe.” She winced. “Okay. I grant you that it’s possible that he was jealous, but you didn’t hear all the horrible things he said.”
Caroline nodded. “Yeah. Men can be asses.”
“No argument from me.”
“The only advice I have is give him some time.”
“And then?”
“And then make him grovel.”
“What if I don’t want him back?”
Caroline arched an eyebrow. “Really? Have you thought about how it’s going to feel when you see him with another woman? Lisa Billings maybe?”
Lydia’s stomach tumbled like a dryer. “I… It will kill me.”
“So don’t do anything drastic.”
“Unblock his number?”
“Oh, hell no. Not yet. Let him suffer.”
“You do realize that I was the one who called off our engagement, right?”
Caroline shrugged. “Things change.”
Lydia sighed. “Exactly why I called off our wedding.”
“I bit my tongue when you told me about that.” Caroline leaned forward. “You did to him basically what he did to you. You each made rash decisions without talking. You decided for him that he wouldn’t be happy with your kids. Did you even ask him?”
“But he’d always had been so adamant about not wanting children.”
“Let me plant this idea. What if his hard stance about children was based on his belief that he was sterile more than his lack of desire for a family? What if he said all that to protect his ego? He’s a man. It’d be easier to say he didn’t want kids than to tell the world he couldn’t have them, don’t you think?”
“You can deny it, but you’ve talked to him. I know it. One of the things I admire about you is your ability to keep confidential conversations confidential. But right now, I hate that about you. And, yes, I’ve thought about what you just suggested.”
Caroline chuckled and stood. “I’d better get back to it. I’ve got a new patient with a toenail fungus. And they say medicine isn’t glamorous.”
Texas Lullaby (Texas Montgomery Mavericks Book 7) Page 18