by Chloe Lang
Jay nodded. “For the rest of our lives, sweetheart. We all belong together.”
Izzy sat up, pulling one of the pillows in front of her. “You’ve got to realize I’m way too old for you.”
“You’re wrong.” How were he and Clay going to convince her that her age didn’t matter?
“Please, let me finish. This was only supposed to be for fun and pleasure, not forever. You’re wonderful men. I couldn’t ask for better. But you can’t waste your life on someone my age.”
“Waste our life on you?” He grabbed her hand, wanting to help her to let go of her doubts. “Izzy, you can’t say you don’t have feelings for us. We can see it in your eyes.”
Jay cupped her chin. “We can tell it in the way you make love to us.”
She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have let this go so far. I’m sorry, but it just isn’t possible. You’re not getting it guys so let me try again. I will not allow you to waste your life on me.”
Frustration exploded inside him. “That doesn’t make any sense, Izzy. You mean the world to us—to me and Jay. I know this is fast, but that doesn’t make it any less real. I am in love with you.”
“And so am I,” Jay said firmly. “Tell us the truth. Do you love us or not?”
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Whether I do or don’t doesn’t change the facts. We have to end this now. Please, let me get up. I want to take a shower.”
“Okay, sweetheart.” If he and Jay pushed her now it would likely upset her even more. He knew she needed a moment to collect her thoughts. “But we’re not ending anything. We have more to talk about.”
She looked down at her hands, without a doubt to avoid his and Jay’s eyes. “I’m not going to change my mind.”
“I just can’t believe that, Izzy.” He knew that they had their work cut out for them to turn her around, but he would do whatever it took to make sure she did.
Jay had the same determination on his face. “If you want a shower, go ahead, sweetheart.” His brother stood, holding out his hand to help her off the bed. “We can talk after.”
She swung her legs off the mattress and retrieved her clothes. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. Why is she holding back? What else is she afraid of? He didn’t believe it was just about their age difference, which didn’t mean a damn thing to him and Jay.
When she closed the door to the en suite, he looked at his brother. “What can we do?”
“I don’t know, but I know I can’t live without her. That’s not an option.” Jay began dressing.
“No, it’s not for me either. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, bro—everything we’ve both wanted.” He left the bed and grabbed his clothes off the floor. “But you saw how she reacted when we told her how we felt.”
“Yes, but you and I both can tell there is something more that she’s not admitting to.”
“I think we should focus on getting to the bottom of it, Jay.” Buttoning his shirt, he heard the water of the shower turn on. He looked at the door, wondering what Izzy was so afraid of. “No matter what it takes, bro, she belongs with us.”
* * * *
Izzy closed her eyes and placed her head under the shower, feeling the warm water mingle with her tears and washing them away. “I wish I could wash away my feelings that easily. Damn it. Why did I let this happen?”
Clay and Jay’s words continued to replay again and again in her mind. Her heart had melted. She hadn’t been expecting it, but deep down she longed to hear those three special words because she had fallen in love with them. Clay had spoken first. “I love you so much.” Followed by Jay. “And I love you, too.”
But after hearing their admissions of love, she knew it could never be. It wasn’t possible.
“Why did I allow myself to fall in love with them? And now what am I going to do?”
Izzy knew one thing—she couldn’t let them waste their lives on her. She had to be strong, even if her heart was ripping apart.
How was she going to make them see that it could never work between them? She wasn’t sure but knew they would be better off without her.
And her life was good enough. She had Gabby. She had her two best friends. She had a career. And in many ways, she was happy. I’m just not meant to have true love.
She thought about the asshole, her ex-husband. They’d been married for ten years, and all of it difficult. He was a selfish lover. Wham-bam and not even a thank-you-ma’am.
She’d always wanted a family, dreamed of a house full of children. But he’d never wanted any. In fact, the day she’d told him about being pregnant with Gabby he’d stormed out of their house. When he’d come back he was drunk off his ass. That’s when she’d decided not to have any more children with him, knowing he would make a horrible father. Even today, the strained relationship the asshole had with Gabby proved that fact. They barely spoke, except on birthdays and Christmas.
Oh God, Gabby. What will she think?
Her daughter had made it clear that age didn’t matter. But how would Gabby feel if she learned two younger men were pursuing her mother? Two younger men who want to share me? Want to spend the rest of their lives with me?
More tears fell. I’m too old for them. I’m too old to have the children I always wanted and they deserve. Clay and Jay would make wonderful fathers. She could imagine how loving they would be with their children.
She wasn’t sure she could even get pregnant, and there were risks for women of her age. Why am I thinking about this? It’s never going to be anyway.
She’d let her guard down with Clay and Jay from the very beginning. I thought I could just have a fling with them, but now my heart is breaking.
* * * *
Waiting for Izzy to emerge from her shower, Jay sat on the side of the bed with Clay. They’d brought in a bottle of wine and three glasses, hoping to help settle her emotions. He wondered if they had held off a little longer to tell her how they felt if things might have gone easier. Probably not. It was obvious to him by her reaction that she felt something for them. Doubt was what was holding her back, not just her age, though that seemed to play a big part of her decision to walk away.
Her ending the hope of a future together before it even got started was something they couldn’t let happen. He and Clay had made it clear to one another that she was the only woman for them. Now they had to make it clear to her. Very clear.
The bathroom door opened and Izzy stepped into the bedroom. She was fully dressed, her hair wet, and no makeup, looking adorable and radiant as always.
But her eyes are red.
Had she gotten soap in her eyes or had she been crying? He guessed the latter, which crushed him. The last thing he wanted to do was make her unhappy. She was torn but it seemed to him that a part of her wanted to pursue things with him and Clay. How can we make her see that we belong together—and together we will be happy?
He poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her, and she sat down in the chair facing the bed and them.
Izzy took a sip and her eyes landed on him and Clay. “I’m sorry, guys. I really am, but this just won’t work.”
He leaned forward. “Izzy, we love—”
“Stop. Please. Just listen to me.” She shook her head. “This can’t be. It’s not that I’m just too old for you. It’s so many things. You two are about to turn thirty. You will be running one of the largest corporations in the world. What would your employees think? Your stockholders? Your customers? Two men with one woman…an older woman by twelve years?”
“We don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks, sweetheart,” Clay said his own thoughts aloud. “This is about us, about our happiness.”
“Besides, our private lives are exactly that,” he said. “Private. And having a beautiful woman like you between us…most will know how lucky Clay and I are.”
“Okay, then what about our friends and family? What about Gabby? She made it clear to me that age doesn’t matter to her after I told her about meeting y
ou.”
Izzy told her daughter about us? Hope swelled inside him. She does have feelings for us.
“But I don’t think Gabby will understand me being with both of you. There are two of you. Not one. That’s not done. No one would understand that. Not even my crazy two best friends.”
He grinned, sensing she was running out of steam. “Have you talked to them about us, too?”
“No, but I’ve been friends with Toni and Cami for so long I know what they would think.” She took another sip. “And by the way, I don’t own a dog. Brownie is Cami’s and her real name is Peanut. So do you really want a woman that’s a liar?”
He and Clay laughed.
“We really didn’t think you had a dog, sweetheart.” Jay could see she was shaking from all the emotions that were bubbling up inside her. All he wanted to do was hold her, but he knew that the best course of action was to let her get it all out.
Clay nodded. “There were no signs of a dog in your house, angel.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t like dogs or don’t want a dog. I just haven’t had time for a dog.”
“So why did you say you were talking to a dog when I called you, Izzy?” Clay asked.
“Because I was having a sexual dream about you and Jay.” Her cheeks flared red. “See what a liar I am? You deserve someone who tells the truth.”
“A sexual dream?” Jay grinned. “About both of us?”
“Yes, about both of you, if you must know. I am a dirty old woman.” She downed the rest of the wine and held out her glass. “Refill, please.”
Clay poured the wine. “Then I’m in love with a dirty old woman.”
“And so am I, if that’s what you want to call yourself,” he said. “But we call you the most beautiful, amazing woman we’ve ever met. Izzy, we are in love with you. That’s the truth. And if you will just give us a chance, we think you could fall in love with us, too.”
“Damn it, I am already in love with you, but that doesn’t change a thing. This can’t work.”
“Of course it can work. You love us and we love you.” Clay reached for her hands.
She leaned back. “You are not listening. You want the truth. Here it is.” Tears streamed from her eyes. “I am too old to have children, and you deserve to be fathers. I absolutely will not rob you of that happiness. I have Gabby. She’s the most important person in my life. I want you to know what that feels like, holding a precious baby that depends on you.” Izzy closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened her eyes again, the sadness he saw broke his heart. “There’s nothing like it in the whole world. You will be amazing dads. I know it.”
“Are you sure you can’t have children, sweetheart?” Clay gently asked her.
“I’m forty-two years old.”
“So?” Clay knelt down next to her.
“So? So the odds are stacked against me ever bringing another baby into the world, Clay.”
Jay left the bed and knelt down next to Clay in front of her, taking her hand. “Do you want to have children, Izzy?”
“I would have had many children, but I wasn’t about to with the asshole.” She told them about her ex, and anger for her welled up inside him. “I was a single parent that had to figure out a way to make ends meet for me and Gabby. No time for love. Now, my daughter is an adult, I have a career, a good life, and time for love. But it’s too late for me to have children. There are risks for women my age. I won’t put you through that. Yes, I love you and you me. But it’s not enough. Not now. Not ever.”
“Sweetheart, if the three of us want children, we’ll have children,” he told her. “If we can’t have our own there are plenty of kids who need a loving family. We can always adopt. And if you don’t want babies, then I don’t want any either.”
“Same for me, angel,” Clay added. “Your happiness is all that matters to us.”
She kissed him and Clay tenderly. “And yours is what matters to me. Do you understand?”
He and Clay said in unison, “No, we—”
“Please, stop. My heart is breaking. Don’t make it any worse. I won’t. I can’t. Let’s finish this job and then we can say good-bye to each other.”
“You won’t have a chance to forget us, Izzy. I promise you that.” He pulled her in close, and he pressed his mouth to hers. She didn’t resist but melted into him.
Then Clay kissed her. “You need some sleep, sweetheart. That will clear your head.”
Together he and Clay helped her into the bed, covering her with the blanket. They walked to the door and turned off the light.
“Guys?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” they answered together.
“What we had was special and wonderful. I’ll never forget either of you.”
Chapter Fourteen
The limo pulled up to Izzy’s home, and she felt her heart seize in her chest. She was between Clay and Jay. When their investigation was over she would never have that opportunity again. Even though it killed her to end it with them, she knew it was what needed to be done, for them as well as for her. Every additional moment she spent with them was only harder.
Clay and Jay had honored her request and had stopped trying to convince her that she belonged with them. But she knew they weren’t giving up. It was just one of the many reasons she loved them, but it didn’t change the fact that it would never work out.
The three of them stepped out of the vehicle onto the sidewalk.
“When will you be back to take me to the warehouse?” she asked.
Jay kissed her on the cheek. “How much time do you need, sweetheart?”
He and Clay still don’t believe I meant what I said. Do I really mean it? “I want to freshen up and unpack. Plus, I want to call my daughter. And I need to get on that conference call I rescheduled with Tom and Lyle so they don’t become suspicious. Can you give me two hours?”
“That works for us, too,” Clay said, grabbing her hand and squeezing. “I want to get some bolt cutters, because, unlike in London, I bet we’ll need them here. Plus, we also need to stop at our place to get our guns. I don’t expect any trouble but I think a little extra caution is in order.”
“I agree. I’ll bring my pistol, too.”
Clay smiled. “Not necessary, my lady.” He bent at the waist. “Your knights will ensure your safety.”
God, why do he and Jay have to be so damn charming? Unwilling and unable to resist, she answered, “Thank you, my lord.” Getting into the spirit of the fun, which was much better than thinking about the breakup, she switched accents from Medieval English to Chicago mobster. “But packing heat makes a dame feel better.”
Jay laughed and answered in a tone like Marlon Brando in The Godfather. “Then by all means, sweetheart. Bring your pistol. Me and my associate will be back to get you in two hours.”
“I’ll be ready, boss.”
He and Clay carried her luggage to her door. She unlocked it and they placed the bags inside.
They both moved to kiss her again, which she wanted more than anything, but she stepped back instead. She didn’t want to lead them on. It has to be over. That thought crushed her utterly, but what else could she do? “I’ll see you in two hours, guys.”
Their gazes told her that they were not surrendering their fight for her. She wondered if they ever would. If not, how was she going to find it in herself to resist?
Finally, without another word, they left.
She closed the door and collapsed onto her sofa. “God, how am I ever going to be strong enough for this.”
“Strong enough for what, Mom?” Gabby stood in the kitchen.
“Baby, you’re here.” Izzy ran to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
They released each other. “Mom, why do you have tears in your eyes?”
“I’m just so glad to see you, baby,” she answered.
“Mom, I know there’s more to your tears than just that.”
“What do you mean?”
/> “Because you see me two or three times a month and I’ve never seen you have tears before.” Gabby put her hands on her shoulders. “I’m getting you a cup of coffee and you’re going to spill everything. Got it?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
They sat down at the kitchen table, and she told her about Clay and Jay. “And when they said they loved me and wanted something more serious, I knew I’d have to back away.”
“What! Why would you have to back away from them, Mom?”
“Because two men and one woman isn’t the way things are done,” she said firmly, hoping Gabby would understand what an impossible situation this was.
“So you’re willing to sacrifice your happiness because there are two men who love you?” Gabby sighed. “I should be so lucky.”
“Gabby, women just don’t have two men and you know it.”
“Mom, like I said before this is 2015. If you love somebody, or two somebodies, you’ve got to be the luckiest woman in the world. Live your life. Don’t let outdated rules destroy a chance at having a future with your two guys.”
“Are you serious? They’re closer to your age.”
“So what? I don’t mind having two handsome stepdads who will treat my mom right.”
“You’re getting way ahead of yourself.”
“No I’m not. You said Clay and Jay told you they wanted you forever. Forever means I get two stepdads and you get two loving husbands.” Gabby reached across the table. “Mom, you’re the most wonderful person I know. You deserve this.”
“But Gabby, they deserve to have children, and I don’t know if I can have children now. I’m too old.”
“Talk about fate. Mom, my biology professor just talked about that exact subject. Yes, the odds are slim, but it is possible. Women are having babies older than you are.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s true. And with fertility drugs the chance goes up. You can’t imagine what is being done these days. Besides, you haven’t even started menopause. So there may not even be a problem. And if you don’t want to go through childbirth you could always adopt.”