by M. Mabie
“Come on. You’ll have a good time.” He rocked us back and forth gently.
The truth was, I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought anymore. I loved him. I only hoped figuring it out hadn’t taken too long.
I’d never find another Rhett. No matter how long I looked. No matter where I went to find him. There was only one him.
Over the past few weeks I’d gone out of my way to show him that. Honestly, I’d had a really good time doing it, too. Finding things he’d like. Surprising him when I could. I wanted things to move forward, but I didn’t know what that was.
I relented. “It’ll probably be fun. But, hey, I was about to get a bowl of ice cream and watch TV in my bed. Can you stay the night? I have chocolate.”
Since he was there, it was a good opportunity to do another thing I’d fantasized about.
“I can stay, but I think I’ll skip the ice cream tonight.”
It was his favorite, and far be it from me to tempt an athlete before a big race, but I couldn’t help myself. I reached into the freezer, but he didn’t let me go. Luckily, I was just able to grab the tub of Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Then I got into the drawer beside us and pulled out a spoon.
“Come on. I’ll let you lick it off of me,” I taunted.
My sexy man closed his eyes and bit his lip. “Okay, maybe just a bite or two.”
He had exactly three before he pulled the ice cream from my hands and put it on the nightstand. We didn’t even turn the TV on. There wasn’t anything on television that could have even come close to rivaling the things he was doing to me.
“When I get back from Nashville, I don’t want to sleep without you anymore, Sunshine.” Rhett kissed his way back up my stomach. His cheeks red and his lips wet, he looked better than any dream I’d ever had.
“I don’t want to sleep without you anymore either,” I agreed as I pulled his mouth to mine. He tucked his hands and arms under my head beneath the pillow as he slowly pushed inside me.
His signature, “Ah,” rumbled through our kiss.
“I just want you, Sunny. That’s all I ever want. Okay?” His voice grew deeper and it was as sweet as the chocolate on our lips.
“Okay, Rhett. I’m ready, too.” I was ready for him to take me over the edge in my small bedroom. I was ready to take our relationship wherever it felt like going. Mostly, I was finally ready for all of Rhett Caraway’s love.
He didn’t almost say the words like I nearly had that night, but he didn’t have to. I felt them.
If he was leaving town on schedule as planned, I knew he’d be heading down his road toward the highway and still well within my little radio station’s range.
“It’s finally Friday, everyone. That last song was one of my new favorites. It’s a track I recorded here last week with the up-and-coming Wind Through Wichita.” I pulled down the volume at the end of the song and spoke to the airwaves. “I got a call from the guys yesterday and heard they booked a big show down in Austin, TX after they uploaded their LIVE at WDKR recording to their website. We wish them lots of good luck.
“Also, we’ve got another local doing some pretty awesome things, Wynne. Every Sunday we run the All-American Country Countdown LIVE from Nashville. Well, they’re sponsoring a marathon this weekend and our very own track star is competing. Local farmer and all around great guy, my handsome boyfriend. Do your best, Rhett. You always do.”
I slid the music volume back up and clicked the mouse for the next song to begin.
“Here’s a hot one from Maren Morris—“I Could Use a Love Song” on Wildcat Country, 98.5 FM.”
I went ahead and did the programming for the weekend, since I wasn’t rushing off to see Rhett that afternoon. Then I realized I could probably build a little every day and start skipping Saturdays altogether.
I tipped back the last of my sweet tea and saw the light flash on my phone, having put it on silent for work.
RHETT: I heard you. Thank you.
ME: You’re welcome. Good luck. Be careful and DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE. Let me know when you get there.
It was only a few hours, six if he hit the traffic just right. I’d Googled the route the other day. It made me nervous, him being on the road. So I was happy for the extra work to keep me busy.
He sent me a text hours later as I was walking back into the house to get ready for the bar.
RHETT: I’m here. Have fun tonight. I hate that I’m missing your stellar dance moves.
He was very funny. Not.
ME: I hate that I’m missing you running in those shorty shorts. I saw them the other day. I might want to borrow them sometime.
RHETT: lol I’ll wear them for you.
ME: Good enough. When will you be home on Sunday?
RHETT: Early. I plan on leaving before the sun comes up.
I liked the sound of that.
ME: Don’t go looking for any girls.
RHETT: I only ever look for one and she’s a pain in my ass.
ME: Talk. Talk. Talk. You love it.
RHETT: You’re right.
I felt a knotting in my stomach, the good kind. I knew we’d say it eventually, and I only felt positive excitement waiting. It was unmistakable: he made me feel loved.
I could wait for the words.
I sat my phone on the counter in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and ran the water up to the right temperature. Tossing my clothes in the basket—or at least close to it—I checked my phone one last time before I got under the water.
HANNAH: I’ll be riding solo with you tonight, but I’m running a little late. Sawyer isn’t feeling so good. Vaughn is staying home.
ME: Okay. Meet me there.
Instantly, I was excited. Girls’ night. I smiled as I threw my towel over the hook near the shower.
Then, as I washed, I started to feel kind of bad for her—for them. They hadn’t been out in a long time. They adored Sawyer, and although she was healthy and growing, I think they were still paranoid about something going wrong.
I blew out my hair and jammed out to the station. In the nostalgic spirit of the reunion, I’d made playlists for the weekend from songs when we were in school. It hit me again how fast the time had gone.
Would I blink and miss all of these first years with Rhett?
Would they go by before I knew it?
I didn’t want to waste any more time. I wanted to be with him, and I was even surer about talking to Rhett about the future when he got home. Our future.
It was something that we sort of avoided, but I think we’d both been a little naïve. Turns out, when you’re finally sure of what you want, you’re not as afraid to go for it.
The thought that he’d been so sure so much earlier in life sometimes boggled my mind. Who else on the planet could say the man they loved had only ever loved them?
My heart swelled, and as I put my makeup on and ran the curling iron through my hair, something strange happened. It was like a floodgate opened and so many other visions floated so vividly through my head for the first time.
Thoughts of marrying Rhett.
I stopped what I was doing and just stood and stared at myself.
Why hadn’t I thought about that?
Oh, and the farmhouse. That was going to be our home. He wanted to pick countertops out. Suddenly, that felt so meaningful.
He was everything I’d ever really wanted in a man. Equal parts responsible and reckless. Smart and sexy. A good man. The best.
He was all mine.
Who knew I’d have my first real-life epiphany the first night of my ten-year high school reunion weekend?
I had a future with Rhett. A great one.
I passed the packed parking lot at the bar and kept going. When I finally came to a stop, I knew it was probably going to be a long night.
One bottle.
Two bottles.
The hours passed kind of slowly, but I enjoyed the company and let a lot of my old doubts fade away.
RHETT: Are you having fun?
Let me know when you get home.
I swayed my hips and read the message.
ME: If you thought you were too young, then you should see my date.
RHETT: WHAT?
I sent him a quick picture of Sawyer and me.
Hannah had been excited about the reunion, and she had every right to be. She was happy and had so much to be proud of. She’d always been someone everyone liked, but she’d changed a lot. Besides, after everything they went through with their little girl, they deserved a break.
Vaughn was her one, and she was his. That’s what they had—each other’s future.
I put the baby in her crib and walked out to the hall, closing the door all but a crack.
I dialed Rhett’s number.
“What are you doing?” he asked when he answered the phone.
“Babysitting,” I admitted and chuckled quietly, careful not to wake up the Queen. She’d had a fever earlier, but she was just hungry and tired at that point. She’d eaten, but crashed out halfway through her bottles. “They were going to skip out and stay home because Sawyer didn’t feel great today, but I pretty much kicked them out. Hannah really wanted to go, and they haven’t had a few hours to themselves in a long time. So, I’m just chilling with Queen Sawyer. Thinking about stuff.”
I heard a dinging sound on the other end of the line. “I’m just headed up to my room. Tell me what you’ve been thinking about,” he softly requested.
It would have been so much easier to say over the phone all of the things I’d thought about, but I didn’t want to go easy on myself. I wanted to work for it a little. I’d wait and tell him in person—face to face. He deserved that, and I knew just what to do.
“I’m thinking about you and us.”
“That sounds perfect, Sunshine. Just perfect,” he said.
It totally was.
After a huge dinner in the hotel restaurant, I talked on the phone with her for a while. As many trips as I’d been on, that one was the loneliest. I was never the type of guy who needed a girl on his arm, but I missed Sunny and wished she’d been there with me.
I was done being safe. I knew what I wanted.
Something had changed with her from just the night before, and I only prayed it was for the better. Maybe she’d finally want to start making plans. Maybe she’d want to share some ideas for the future. Topics we’d both danced around.
I didn’t really give a shit when the future happened, I only cared that she was in it. That she saw me in hers.
It didn’t even matter if we still went back and forth between houses, but, when it came time to move into the new place, I was sure I wanted her there. She needed to know that.
I woke up early the next morning, stretched, had some eggs, and headed down the block where the race was scheduled to start. The streets were littered with people from all walks of life, all there for the same reason.
To race. To win, or at the very least, make it to the finish line.
Winning wasn’t necessarily my goal anymore. I was happy with a solid finish. After I registered, I worked my way to a good starting spot. I looked at the course again on my phone and concentrated on my pacing.
As I was setting up my music for the twenty-six miles I had before me, I received a few messages all at once.
MOM: Have a good run today. Do your best. Dad says good luck, too.
HAYLEY: Drink a lot of water and kick ass. Love you.
SUNSHINE: Have a great race. I miss you. Call me later.
I’d have to see how the race went, but if I wasn’t too tired I was already considering driving home that night—instead of the next morning. I had another goal in mind, and I was going to start chasing that one like I should have been.
A familiar quiet fell over the crowd as we waited for the shotgun start.
The first few miles were mostly spent making my way to the front, then finding my stride. The music helped me keep a good pace, and even when I hit the hills I was pleased with how I was doing. My feet met the pavement with purpose, knowing I was headed toward more than just a finish line.
I was in love with Sunny and tired of denying it.
Overall, I was satisfied with my twelfth place finish. I actually beat my personal time goal, which was probably more important to me anyway. After the race, I mingled around for a little while, walking down my pulse. When I got to the hotel, I showered and checked out early, deciding home sounded better than another lonely night in Nashville.
When I got out of the city, I stopped at a restaurant for a quick burger. After going through the drive-thru, I pulled into a parking spot to eat and let everyone know how I did. I sent a group message to my mom and my sister.
ME: Finished twelfth. Heading home tonight.
Then without waiting for their reply, I called Sunny.
“Hey, how’d you do?” she asked brightly as soon as she answered.
“I got twelfth, and I beat my own time. So, that’s good.” I took a sip of the sweet tea I’d ordered. Lately, I’d been drinking about as much as she did.
“That’s awesome. Congratulations. You gonna go out and party? Celebrate?”
I would have if she was with me, but it didn’t sound that great without her. Terrible dancing and all, she was what made doing most things fun.
“No. Actually, I’m headed home.” I looked at the clock on the dash of my truck and did a quick calculation. “I’ll probably be rolling into town around eight.”
“Really?” she squeaked, and I liked how cheerful she sounded about my change of plans.
“Really,” I said. “I know you have plans, but maybe when the reunion is over you could come out to my place, or I can meet you at yours?”
“Well … actually … um…” she stuttered. “Shit.”
Sunny never stalled when she spoke. Ever. Regardless, whether it came from her time on the radio or just that she had a talent for saying things, her words rarely tripped over each other.
And shit? I wanted to see her and she said shit? Something was up.
“Is everything all right?” I crumpled up the sandwich wrapper and half of the uneaten burger as I held the phone against my ear with my shoulder.
“Yeah, Rhett. Everything is fine. Everything is cool,” she insisted. “We just need to talk about some stuff, and I’d planned to do it tomorrow.”
The words I love you raced up my throat. I’d waited too damn long.
“I know you’re busy tonight—”
“No. That’s not it. I just … I need to go.”
“Wait.”
“I’ll text you in a little while. I’ve gotta go. Bye.” Then, she hung up.
I pounded my hand against the steering wheel and my chest rose and fell as I tried not to freak the fuck out. Sunny had never been so dismissive, so rushed to get off the phone.
Was this it? Was she done? The other night I’d thought she was about to tell me she loved me. What if I’d only heard what I’d wanted to again.
The miles and hours peeled away as I got closer to Wynne. Closer to home.
I was ready to do whatever was necessary to keep her. Not just keep her, but make her happy. Give her everything.
All along I’d been thinking if she’d just give me her heart, then I’d give her mine, which was total bullshit. Love doesn’t work like that.
I’d been naïve for the last time with her. And, by the grace of God, if she gave me a chance to tell her—show her—how much I wanted and cared about her, then maybe I could change her mind.
I hoped I wasn’t too late.
After I turned off the interstate and hit the county line highway, I turned my radio dial back to 98.5 FM, just as I’d always done when I was coming home. It would be static for another few miles then I’d hear the familiar voice I always listened for.
It started to sprinkle, which was surprisingly a good thing, and by the time the country sounds were streaming through my speakers clearly, it was all out pouring down.
My phone chimed, and I flipp
ed it over on my lap.
SUNSHINE: I hope you’re close and listening to the radio.
Even though I normally didn’t text and drive, I carefully replied.
ME: I’m about 20 minutes from Wynne and listening.
SUNSHINE: <3
That makeshift heart was everything. Every damn thing. It was exactly what I needed. God, that woman made me crazy.
I sped closer to town, my tires humming down the highway through the rain.
“That was “Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not” by Thompson Square, and I tell you what, Wynne, I’ve been there. Waiting for that first kiss from Rhett just about killed this country girl. All I have to say is thank the sweet Lord for fallen limbs, sandbags, and Mrs. Caraway’s meatloaf.” She laughed and her electric tone had me sliding my hand over the spot where she usually sat in my truck beside me.
“Here’s a big shout out to the Class of 2006 and an even bigger shout out to Rhett for getting twelfth place in the All-American Country Countdown Marathon in Nashville this weekend. Not too bad for a small town guy. I’m so proud of you. We all are.”
The dread I’d felt when I first started toward home was washing away as I got closer to her. Hearing her talk on the radio again, for all of Wynne to hear, had pride swelling in my chest.
“And, Rhett, when you roll into Wynne, you should just head uptown. I’ll see you there. I remember when we were younger you’d call the station and dedicate songs to me. I know you’re the runner, but this one is from me to you. Here’s “I Run To You” by WDKR favorite, Lady Antebellum. ”
My chest filled with warmth, and another message flashed across my phone’s screen.
SUNSHINE: I’m uptown. Come see me.
I topped the hill and saw my hometown. As I drove, people honked and waved at me, probably hearing what I had. I waved back and I made my way to the center of our little city.
The square park in the heart of Wynne was packed, but I found a spot across from the Shirley Banquet Hall where her reunion was. Just as my headlights turned into the empty space, they washed across a flash of yellow ahead.
I turned my wipers up on high then clicked my lights onto bright.
There she was standing on the ladder to the water tower wearing a dress in the pouring rain.