Hope (Things That Matter Book 2)

by Casey Diam

  “I’ve never had sex without a condom. And the thought of getting you, especially you, pregnant and not being able to be there...” He shook his head. “It just can’t happen, okay?”

  My chest tightened, but I nodded. “I know.”

  “There’s one more thing.” He laid his arm across my waist, and my eyes searched his gorgeous face, lingering on the jet-black tousled hair falling over his forehead. “Calvin already knows this, but after what happened the last time with you looking for me at the suite, you should know, too. If I don’t come back, don’t look for me. It doesn’t matter how long I’m gone. Don’t. You’ll only be putting your life in danger, and it isn’t worth it.”

  As tears sprang behind my eyes, I swallowed and looked away.

  What does he mean, it isn’t worth it?

  Fixing my eyes on the dresser across the room, I shook my head. “No.”

  “Paige,” he pleaded.

  But I continued to shake my head because there was no damn way.

  “If Alex Connor does anything to you, he’s fucking dead.”

  “Paige.” His thumb moved to my chin and held it, twisting my head so that I would look at him, but when he saw the determination in my eyes, he backed off.

  We didn’t speak for the rest of the night. Not from anger or disagreement, but from comfort. We were comfortable with not speaking. This had been us from the start.

  Though this comforting silence was more like a calm before a storm. Appreciating what we had now because we didn’t know when it would be gone.

  So, what do you want, Paige?

  A single tear slid down the corner of my eye and onto Caleb’s chest.

  I want Alex Connor dead, and if I do it myself, I only hope that, one day, his son will forgive me because I am in love with him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Caleb

  It wasn’t long after Paige had fallen asleep in my arms that I picked up my vibrating phone from the nightstand. When I unlocked it, a text message from Alex Connor popped up.

  A.C: Come to the house at noon.

  I looked at the time. It was seven, and it was an hour-and-a-half drive back.

  Setting that phone down, I picked up the one next to it and messaged Bailey.

  Me: Meeting with Connor at midday. I need to talk to you about Paige. Can we meet at nine thirty?

  Bailey confirmed, and I put the phone aside.

  I turned to wrap my other arm around Paige, but she jolted awake with a gasp. Kissing her temple, I hushed her. Fuck, I didn’t want to leave her. She had this tendency to curl away from me, whenever she fell asleep, and all I wanted was to continue to hold her like this in my cocoon. Nestling her close, I subjected her to a slew of kisses on her cheek until she gave me her lips.

  It was probably a bit mental that I didn’t want to shower before I left. And, as I thought about how some of her juices still sheathed me, my cock twitched. I wanted her scent to stay with me for as long as possible while I went to see Connor. If anything happened, she could stay on me this way. But, as her tongue met mine, magnifying my need for her, I pulled away, worry prickling the back of my mind for how careless I’d been with her earlier.

  My wallet was still in the car, and we couldn’t have a repeat of what had happened, no matter how fucking incredible it’d felt. Unlike anything I’d ever experienced since I’d always used a condom, but it wasn’t even just the way our bodies connected. It was her, a living, breathing drug that seeped into my veins when I was near.

  I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and stood. Grabbing my jeans from the floor, I dropped them on the bed and pulled on my boxers. One of her arms stretched out to where I had been lying, and then her eyes closed as she turned her head into the pillow.

  A smile pulled at a corner of my lips, and my heart expanded in my chest. Stepping into my jeans, I delayed zipping them up since my erection was in the way, ready to be tucked into something a lot more pliant than jeans.

  Fuck. Those thoughts weren’t helping.

  I walked over to the chair and grabbed my T-shirt, and when my head came through the hole, I found Paige watching me.

  “You’re leaving,” she said, her voice soft.

  “Yeah.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair back. I traced a finger down her cheek, and her eyes closed again as she turned into my touch, but then she winced.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My head.” Around her eyes wrinkled, and a line formed between her brows as she squeezed her eyes tight. “It hurts.”

  “Hangover. The alcohol’s wearing off. I’ll go get you something.”

  After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I closed the room door behind me and found Rob was already up, sitting on the sofa and drinking coffee.

  “You’re up early.”

  He yawned. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep.”

  I yawned, too, wondering why the fuck yawns were so contagious. “Me neither. Did you happen to see any medicine at all in these cupboards?” I started with the cupboard over the single-serve coffeemaker, but it was filled with cups and plates. Pulling out two plain white mugs, I set one on the counter and the other under the drip before popping a coffee pod into the coffeemaker and hitting brew.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t check. Does she have a hangover?” Rob asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, frowning when I saw that all the pods were only coffee and no tea.

  “I have ibuprofen. I’ll get you some.”

  When Rob returned, he tapped out two huge white pills into my hand from a prescription bottle. I narrowed my eyes at them and then searched the words on the bottle not covered by his finger until I saw a hint of confirmation.

  “They’re eight hundred milligrams per pill. She only needs one.”

  After handing one of the pills and a bottle of water to Paige, I bent to remove a tea bag she’d said should be inside the front pocket of her backpack. Only something else came to mind as I felt around and peered inside her bag. Her anxiety meds weren’t in there or anywhere.

  I went back out to the living room, and as I set her tea to brew, I joined Rob on the couch with my coffee in hand. “I have to leave soon. She might be in bed for a bit longer, but she doesn’t drink like that, so can you keep a closer eye on her today? Make sure she’s okay?”

  Rob nodded.

  ❧

  Bailey and her husband, Agent Langley, sat across from me at the table in a small room, dressed in regular clothes.

  Dark circles had taken up permanent residence under Agent Langley’s eyes, and he had a small mustache. With that, a dust of black-and-gray stubbles covered his jaw. I glanced back to Bailey’s warmer features, though there was a hardness behind her eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if she saw me differently after all the information I’d given. There was no wondering actually. It was a hard yes. The moment I’d slipped into the passenger seat of her car and started talking, I was no longer the victim who’d gone missing with his mother twenty-four years ago.

  “I can’t wear a wire,” I said, my jaw tight.

  “It’s the only way for us to get evidence,” Agent Langley countered.

  “Things have shaken up these past weeks, and I need to see what this meeting is about. They already don’t trust me. The last thing I need is for them to find a reason not to because then you’ll get nothing.”

  I looked at the sutured skin where a rice-grain-sized GPS chip had been embedded between my thumb and index finger. They should have waited to do that, too, so it would have time to heal, but it wasn’t an option after I told them about being carried out into the wilderness to bury bodies. It made me regret giving up so much information so soon when I knew this couldn’t be rushed.

  “Fine, but at least get something useful while you’re there.” The chair screeched across the floor as Agent Langley stood. “You’re already looking at thirty years, minimum, and depending on how this pans out, you could be looking at life. I would be wearing a wire
twenty-four/seven if I were you.”

  “And then what use would I be to you if I were dead? Connor has held me hostage before when he thought I would report him. So, if he’s the least bit suspicious of anything when I get there today, I might not come back for a while.” That was putting it nicely. I lifted my hand from the table and waved. “But you’ll know where I am. With that said, don’t try to get in contact with me because, again, you won’t find anything on him.”

  Yeah, they could charge him with kidnapping, but I didn’t have to tell them that would be stupid, considering all he’d done.

  I turned my attention to Bailey. “If this happens and Paige contacts you about me, tell her you have me in custody because she’ll endanger her life if she thinks otherwise. She’s still an innocent victim, and she should have no part in this.”

  “Why didn’t you mention him keeping you at the house before? How long are we talking? Are there other things you’re keeping from us?”

  A wave of heat and then a chill tore through my body, and something cinched around my throat as my mind delved back ten years ago. A butcher’s knife coming down, a hand being dismembered, blood spurting everywhere.

  I forced out a clipped, “No,” as my throat continued to close up.

  I haven’t had any symptoms in years.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Paige

  A few loose rocks rolled down from where Lisa was hiking up ahead. Miller and two of his friends were a few feet ahead of us, and Luke and Rob were a few feet behind. We were an hour deep into the oak-hickory forest surrounding the property. Dried branches and leaves littered the path. A complete contrast to the rich green leaves still attached to the gigantic trees reaching toward the sky. Wrapping my palm around a skinny tree trunk, I stepped onto one of the many dark boulders we’d been climbing over.

  Gym shoes weren’t appropriate, but I hadn’t planned on this being a part of the weekend’s activities, and the eerie stillness was starting to get to me. Everyone’s excitement had been good when we started, but the talking had wavered and my thoughts had taken over. There wasn’t anything to distract me anymore, and all I could do was stare deep into the woods as far as the trees would allow, needing to see anything coming from afar. The feeling of impending doom had been so significant these past few hours that I was surprised I’d been able to contain my anxiety this well. Then again, it had taken everything I had not to stay locked inside that room all day.

  A small yelp sounded from behind, and my heart lurched. Swinging my head around, I saw Mickey bent forward, one of her hands grasping on to the same skinny tree I had been holding on to a moment earlier. By the way one of her feet had slid out, it looked as if she’d almost fallen, but Luke was standing behind her, a strong arm secured around her waist. I folded my lips to keep from smiling. She’d barely kept it together this morning when she told me about their long night together, talking by the fire. She would definitely be swooning later.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, pushing one of the straps to my backpack off my shoulder and unzipping it to grab a water bottle.

  “Yeah.” She smiled, her face reddening as she straightened herself. “I was a teenager the last time I ventured this far out here.”

  A scream rang through the trees and hit me square in the chest, creating a vigorous thump on the left side. With goose bumps spreading over my body, I peered around, my skin crawling. Suddenly, five years didn’t seem so long ago.

  “What was that?”

  Mickey frowned, surveying the land and trees to her left and right. “I don’t know.”

  My eyes fell on Rob and Luke for answers before doing a complete three-sixty again. The rest of the guys ahead of us hadn’t even noticed our pause. They kept walking as if they hadn’t heard a thing.

  “Lisa,” I called.

  As she turned, another bellow closed in on us, “You stupid dick!”

  “What is that?” I asked, pointing a finger in the air, as I couldn’t quite grasp which direction it was all coming from.

  She swiped a hand against her forehead, letting out a breath of exhaustion. “Somebody got, got. Each year—”

  “Shh. Now you’ve ruined it.” Amber set her hands on her hips, her mouth turned down as she stared at Lisa.

  Lisa pursed her lips. “Nothing.”

  I narrowed my eyes as the bad feeling in my belly amplified. I’d been trying to hold on, but I would embarrass myself if I continued to ignore all my symptoms. “I’m going to head back.”

  “No, no. Don’t go. It’s stupid really,” Lisa said, walking back down to me, the dried twigs crunching beneath her feet.

  “No, it’s...” Shit, I didn’t know what to say. It was everything. My anxiety hadn’t plagued me this much in weeks, and with Caleb going to see his father and my not knowing what would happen, I couldn’t stay here. “I need to head back to the city.” I gave Mickey an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. You can stay with Lisa and Amber. I’m sure Luke wouldn’t mind staying either.” Her eyes bugged, and I cringed. “Sorry...uh...I’m just going to go.”

  “I can hike back to the house with you,” Lisa offered. “I’m tired of walking anyway, and it’s already going to take us an hour to get back. I’m not up to this today. I’m whipped.”

  “Me, too,” Mickey agreed.

  “Yeah, I’m done, too. I prefer the pool to these woods,” Amber added.

  This pulled me into a bind because Rob and Luke didn’t look like the kind to bitch out and head back to camp. They looked like they belonged out here and could climb these hills for days. If they followed us back, the girls would recognize how much they were around.

  “I can drive you back,” Rob said, going ahead of us, Luke following.

  I supposed that was the perfect fix then.

  After the guys were a stretch ahead of us, Mickey smacked my arm—or more like touched with how soft the contact was. “I can’t believe you said that.”

  “What?”

  “About Luke staying with me.”

  “Oh, I mean, he’d want to. Wouldn’t you want him to?” I asked, suddenly confused.

  “He doesn’t like me like that,” Mickey said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because,” she sighed, avoiding a huge rock protruding through the leaves and dirt, “there are so many other girls here who are probably his type.”

  “Uh, not to eavesdrop, but have you seen that dude?” Lisa asked, pointing at the hulk trampling through the woods with Rob. “Mackenzie, I’m pretty sure he would snap them in two seconds flat. I’ve seen him try to do just that with his eyes alone, more than a few times. If he gives you even a second of his time, he’s into you. Trust me.”

  Mackenzie blushed as she turned to Lisa and Amber. “Really?”

  “Yes.” Lisa gave me a wink as I chewed on my lip, listening to her. “I have a good read on these guys, and I saw you two at the fire pit last night. I’ve never seen those two have an actual conversation with anyone.” She waved a hand at Rob and Luke strolling ahead.

  I could attest to that. Ryan and Calvin were the only two who engaged with me while they played security.

  She placed a finger on her cheek and passed a suspicious glance my way. “Come to think of it, they’ve been around a lot more since you, Paige.”

  Shit.

  “Not that you mind,” Amber said, nudging Lisa. “Now, what’s your read on Rob? I’m curious.”

  Lisa’s lips pursed as her eyes widened.

  I’d thought she liked Miller. I was so distracted by this revelation, I whisper-yelled, “What? You like Rob?”

  “No. Yes. Maybe. It’s nothing to even discuss, Amber.” Lisa started to walk around us, and when I turned, I realized Rob and Luke had also stopped, patiently waiting for our little discussion to end.

  “Crap, did they hear us?” Mickey whispered.

  “No, I don’t think so,” Lisa murmured. “Just act normal.”

  “Oh my God. Kill me now,” Mickey uttered.


  “You? I was the one doing all the talking.” Lisa raised her voice. “If you guys heard anything, it was all just a test. We didn’t mean any of it.”

  Oh God. I brushed a hand through my hair, my face swelling from holding back a laugh.

  I wanted them to keep talking. This was good. Screw the negative feelings tingling along my spine. Caleb would be fine. I would be fine. There was no one here to hurt me.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Caleb

  The multilevel brick building in front of me looked dark and depressing, even in the middle of the day. But my view was skewed. I knew what life in there was like, and because of that, I didn’t want to feel anything. And this second, I didn’t feel anything. I was the guy I had been before Paige. Calm. Numb. I didn’t even need my past doses of anxiety medications to do it this time.

  I eased out of the car and glanced down to make sure the small, nude Band-Aid was still in place, covering the three stitches in my hand. Turning my key in the lock, I wasted no time walking in and making a quick turn to the left. My frown deepened when I found Brad lying on the sofa, looking content with life and his choices as he stared into the screen on his phone.

  There were so many rooms in this house, and Stacy Lenard could be in one of them.

  “Where is she?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

  “Well, hello to you, too, brother,” he deadpanned.

  I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t, and I didn’t understand why when he made it so easy.

  “Just answer the question, Brad. Whatever you’re planning, she doesn’t deserve it.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that, but she does have you to thank for it.”

  Fuck, he’s annoying.

  “Is she here?”

  All I got was a cocky grin before Alex Connor’s office door opened. For the first time, I was seeing him with different eyes. His square jaw, broad shoulders, and buzz-cut, dark hair. My own father.

  “Get in here,” he said, not aggressive but not nice either.