by Anna Samuels
The Waiting Game
Anna Samuels
Chapter 1
The empty car was a stark reminder of my new reality. I was alone. Life was about to change; and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
‘Get yourself together, Cassie,’ I told myself, under my breath. ‘Distract yourself and get driving.’
Climbing into the car, I started the engine and pushed a CD into the player. I would not keep crying, I told myself. I needed to get a handle on my emotions and move on. That was why I had made very specific plans on this date.
I was headed to Cornwall. Having known that I would be emotional, I knew I didn’t want to return home to an empty house. I had booked a cabin holiday at an attractive-looking location in rural Cornwall and was hoping that that would be enough to distract me from the event that had just happened.
It was September thirtieth, and I had just dropped my daughter at Plymouth University to begin her degree. Having done the same two years earlier with my son, I felt bereft and alone.
Sighing to myself, I thought of Ava in her new room in the halls of residence. She had been beaming with happiness and I had no doubt that she would be fine. She was different in character to me, outgoing and social. She had never had any trouble making good friends and enjoying herself. I was a different story. I felt like I had always been awkward and struggled in social situations.
I turned on my Satnav and programmed in the address of the cabins. I was looking forward to my holiday but unsure how it would be go alone. I had always been with one of my children on holiday-even as they got older. We had holidayed together and it had been wonderful. I felt like this holiday may be very different.
Turning the music up loud, I drove out towards the motorway which would lead me West towards Cornwall. It had seemed a perfect idea to head down to the place I had visited so many times in my youth to have a break from normality.
My mind was consumed by Ava as I drove. She had been such a constant in my life and such a source of joy. She had debated staying at home for University but had eventually decided to go away to the place which provided her course and had the best reputation for study. I had been supportive all the way but felt so incredibly lonely now that both my children had flown the nest. As tears fell down my cheeks, I swiped them away with the back of my hand. Despite my best intentions, I couldn’t stop the flow of tears. I gave in and cried all the way to Cornwall.
An hour later, I arrived in the small village of Pentewan Sands which was located near St Austell, Cornwall. As I turned into the seaside holiday park, I was awed by the beauty of the place. The sea stretched out before me and sandy beaches spread for as far as the eye could see.
The turning into the ‘Hunter’s Moon’ holiday cabin park was on my left. I slowed the car and eased through the gates and down the 5mph road into the exclusive resort. I had treated myself when booking this holiday and gone for the most expensive, luxurious cabin on offer. The cabin had a private hot tub and spa benefits. I couldn’t wait to relax and enjoy everything the resort had to offer.
I pulled into the reception area and looked around me. Climbing out of the car, I stretched my aching body and wiped my tired eyes. I then wandered up to the cabin-style building and walked into reception. It was deserted. I headed to the desk and stood there for a long moment, unsure of what to do. I couldn’t see or hear anybody around and so I stood there, unwilling to call out or alert someone. Instead I wandered around, picking up fliers about local places to visit and then scanning through the photos on the walls. I stopped by one of a family-mother, father and two girls, all blonde and beaming at the camera happily. The plaque underneath read ‘Hunter family opens ‘Hunter’s Moon. 1985.’
‘That’s me as a baby,’ a voice said, startling me out of my reverie.
I turned and stopped dead in my tracks. A woman smiled down at me, her expression warm and friendly. I felt myself wanting to stare at her as she was so striking. Her blonde hair was short and framed her face beautifully. Her eyes were a translucent blue which looked wide and intelligent. The angles of her face were strong and her cheeks were rosy with the pink of the wind outside. She was gorgeous, and something deep in the pit of my stomach responded to that.
‘In the picture,’ she added, as I stood dumbly. ‘That’s me…as a baby.’
‘Oh!’ I exclaimed, tearing my gaze from hers, and feeling my cheeks grow pink. ‘You own this place?’ I asked her.
‘Yeah,’ she sighed, ‘well, my family does. My parents bought it in 1985,’ she said, indicating the picture.
I looked back at the photo of her smiling as a baby. When I looked back she was still watching me curiously.
‘Are you here to check in?’ she asked then, tilting her head questioningly.
‘Yes, I am. I’m booked for the week…Cassie Hunt,’ I told her, swallowing my nerves with a gulp.
She smiled, nodding. ‘Hunt? And I’m Hunter,’ she exclaimed. ‘Alex Hunter,’ she said, extending her hand.
‘Nice to meet you,’ I replied, lifting my hand to meet hers. As our hands made contact, my eyes flew to hers immediately. A shock of electricity shot through me and I felt an unawareness of her that was completely unfamiliar to me. I dropped her hand abruptly and stepped backwards.
‘Right,’ she said smiling still. ‘Let’s get you checked in,’ she murmured. ‘VIP Cabin…hot tub…here we go. Cassie Hunt. Welcome!’ she grinned, looking up.
‘Thanks,’ I smiled, feeling my cheeks burn a little at her intense eye contact.
‘I’ll just get you checked in…do you have any other questions or requests?’ she asked.
‘Uh no,’ I murmured, feeling embarrassed at my reaction to her presence. ‘Oh, maybe yes, actually. Is there a supermarket or shop nearby which would still be open?’ I asked her.
‘Well, we have a shop on site which is open until eight. If you want a supermarket, the closest one is ten minutes away in St Austell.’
‘Okay, thanks. I’ll make do with the shop on site tonight. Thanks.’
She smiled at me again. ‘You’re very welcome.’
‘It’s very quiet around here at the moment,’ I commented.
‘Yeah,’ she said, as she printed off my booking invoice. ‘Everyone’s gone back to school so you’re one of our few visitors this week.’
I sighed. ‘Yes, school. Of course. Thank goodness that isn’t me this year,’ I commented, thinking about the many years that I had spent with depression as September came around, going back to a job that I didn’t like.
‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
‘Oh, I’m a teacher,’ I told her, grimacing.
She gave me a lopsided grin. ‘So, what are you doing here?’ she joked. ‘It’s time to go back to school!’ she laughed.
‘I’m uh…I’m in a period of…change,’ I decided, clearing my throat with discomfort. ‘I won’t be going back this year. I think I’ll do some supply teaching instead.’
She considered this for a moment. ‘You don’t sound too sure about that,’ she commented.
‘Well, ideally, no…’ I replied, laughing mirthlessly.
‘Don’t then,’ she said, shrugging her shoulders as if it were the simplest thing to do in the world.
‘There’s the small issue of money,’ I replied, sighing yet again.
‘You should never be stuck doing something you don’t like,’ she told me softly, her voice becoming gentle, soothing.
I stared at her for a long moment, feeling butterflies skip through my stomach merrily. Yet again I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers. She was so attractive and I could feel the chemistry, so palpable in the air. ‘I…I don’t know if I have a choice….and anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to know about my life and woes.’
‘I, uh…’
‘Let me show you to your cabin,’ she said then, coming around from the desk.
‘Thanks,’ I said quietly, more than aware of her physicality as she fell into step beside me.
‘It’s just up here-the closest to the office,’ she told me, leading us up the hill.
I looked at the cabin before me as we made our way up the incline. It was picturesque, in every sense of the word. It was very traditionally made, with dark-stained wood. I could see a veranda with tables and chairs on and as we stepped up towards the door, I smiled in approval.
‘This is gorgeous!’ I exclaimed.
‘It is a lovely cabin,’ she nodded. ‘Well, here’s the key! I’ll leave you to it,’ she smiled.
I returned her smile. ‘Thank you very much.’
‘No problem. If you need anything, reception’s open until eight.’
‘I’m sure I’ll be fine, but thanks!’
Alex met my eyes once more and smiled in a way which made my stomach clench and my body tingle. As she sauntered down the steps, she glanced back and lifted her hand in a slight wave. I found myself swallowing hard and watching until she was completely out of sight. Only then did I turn and head into the cabin to begin my holiday.
Chapter 2
Closing the door behind me, I wandered into the wooden, luxury cabin. It had all the comforts of home and felt warm and heated inside. I walked from room to room, relishing the beauty of the natural wood walls and ceiling. It was so quiet too. I felt myself already relaxing as the peacefulness of the tranquil surroundings settled into my system.
Once I had explored the inside, I opened the door again and walked around the wooden porch and down to the side of the cabin. To the back was another porch where a secluded area contained a hot tub and recliners to relax on. I lifted the tub’s lid and let my fingers drift through the water. It was blissfully hot. Dropping it down, I hurried back inside to grab my keys. With that done, I collected my car, drove up to the cabin and unpacked my belongings so that I could go and relax in the hot tub. Ten minutes later, I was soaking blissfully in the scorching, hot water.
Long moments of bliss passed as I lay there in the water, sinking into the luxury of the hot, delicious-feeling water. I closed my eyes and leant my head back, thinking back over the past few weeks. It had been a busy time back at home as I had run around, getting two grown children ready to go to University. We had shopped, packed and assembled belongings ready for journeys all around the country. Ben had been first, taking him to Norfolk with all his belongings packed into the full car. It was his third and final year of University so he was well used to this part of September. A week later, I found myself preparing to do the same with my daughter, Ava. With her it was a little different. This was her first year away and my first year to be left completely and utterly alone at home. A trip to the doctors had informed me that the depression I was feeling was normal, but I still couldn’t get a handle on my emotions.
The week before I was to take Ava to University, I had arranged a meeting with my boss. As a primary school teacher, I had been due to go back and start once again to do another year. I had crumbled at the last moment. I couldn’t do it.
I sighed and opened my eyes as the heat began to seep into me a little too much. I lifted myself up onto the side of the hot tub and felt the cool air chill my hot skin. I stayed there for a few minutes, simply staring into space. I felt like crying, yet couldn’t. I felt like moving, but felt immobile. I shook my head to myself, wondering where my strength and resolve had gone. I was a shell of the person I had once been and I didn’t know quite what to do about that. Climbing out of the hot tub slowly, I wrapped myself in a bath robe and padded up the concrete and then decking towards the cabin and opened the door. I was going to take a shower and then get dressed again. Walking into the bathroom, I stopped dead…and screamed.
In the bottom of the bath tub, the biggest, blackest, most terrifying spider I had ever seen in my life lay lurking there. I turned and ran. I was scared stiff of spiders at the best of times, but in my current emotional state, it was more than I could deal with.
I didn’t stop running from the cabin. Out and down the steps, across the grass and downwards towards the reception area I ran. The sky above was darkening gradually and I didn’t stop to think about my actions, I simply followed instinct.
I reached reception in the space of about thirty seconds flat. Bursting through the door, I slowed, breathing heavily-my heart pounding like a drum.
‘Cassie!’ a voice exclaimed.
I rushed over to the desk where she stood, still breathing hard, my eyes round and wide with the shock of the spider.
‘Cassie? What on earth is the matter?’ Alex asked, coming around the counter to be standing before me and gripped my arms at the elbow while staring down at me in alarm.
‘I…I…’ I couldn’t speak.
‘What is it?’ she exclaimed, pulling me close and stroking my hair as if I was a small child. ‘You’re okay, you’re okay,’ she repeated over and over again. The moment changed in that instant. I went from being lost and confused in my head to being very, much present in the here and now. She held me against her strong body and she felt so, very soft and exciting to be close to.
I cleared my throat, pulling back from her. I felt the heat in my cheeks rise rapidly as I looked up at her. She was staring at me with concern, clearly confused over my sudden appearance.
‘I, uh…sorry,’ I apologised.
She tilted her head at me, looking closely and quizzically at me. ‘Don’t be sorry. What’s the matter? You looked absolutely terrified when you came in.’
‘I, um…’ I cleared my throat again, feeling intensely embarrassed. ‘There’s a spider…’ I began.
She stared at me for a long moment in surprise before throwing her head back and laughing with pure humour and relief. ‘I thought something terrible had happened,’ she chuckled. ‘Come on…I’ll get rid of it for you.’
Alex came around the front of the desk and headed out, clearly expecting me to follow. I trailed behind her, feeling ridiculous and yet I knew I couldn’t sort the situation myself. My son, Ben had been my spider remover at home. Now I was alone, it seemed I was going to have to find a way round that.
I walked behind Alex back to the cabin. I could feel the panic still coursing through my veins with each passing moment. I didn’t feel very emotionally stable, and that was scary for me. I was usually so ordered, so in control. In this precise moment, I felt like I was losing my way completely.
‘Right; where is it?’ Alex asked, arriving at the cabin’s door.
‘In the bath,’ I said quietly, following her in but stopping in the lounge.
I waited a few moments and then Alex walked out, her hands cupped together. I felt myself squirm, inwardly. I turned, unable to watch as she disposed of the spider. Trying to control my breathing, I closed my eyes and tried to find focus.
‘All gone,’ she announced, walking back into the lounge.
‘Thank you,’ I told her, my voice betraying me with a tremble.
‘Cassie?’ Alex said, stepping closer. ‘Are you okay?’
To my horror, in the moment where I met her eyes, I realised I wasn’t okay-and that I was in fact, the opposite of being okay. I was suffering…and I didn’t quite know how to handle myself. Promptly, I broke down into tears.
‘Oh Cassie,’ Alex exclaimed, stepping forwards. She pulled me into her arms and held me close against her body. I cried and cried, unable to stop the torrent from flowing forcibly from my eyes. I held on her tightly; supporting my breaking frame with her strength.
I didn’t know how long she held me. All I did know was that she was patient and kind, whispering soothing words into my ear as she stroked my hair again and again.
I held on steadfastly, allowing myself to feel all the emotions that I had been denying and ignoring for weeks. In her arms I felt safe to unload; even though I didn’t know her at all.
Eventually, I could cry no more. Alex eased us down onto the sofa, but didn’t abandon her hold on me. She held me by the upper arms; looking at me closely.
‘Cassie?’
‘I’m sorry,’ I apologised, meeting her eyes and lifting my hand to wipe my tears away.
‘Don’t be sorry! I’m getting the feeling that you needed to do that. I’d say that has been building up for some time…right?’
I nodded glumly. ‘You’re right.’
‘So, come on…talk to me.’
My eyes flew to hers with surprise. ‘You don’t have to do that!’
‘I know I don’t,’ she smiled. ‘Maybe I want to…’
‘Do you?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ she said, holding my teary gaze.
‘I…I wouldn’t know where to start…’
She considered this for a moment. ‘Look…I need to lock up reception, but then how about I come back and we make an evening of it? We could talk, get to know each other a little better…share a drink, perhaps?’
‘I, uh…’ I frowned in confusion. ‘Why would you want to do that?’ I asked her, genuinely baffled.
‘Maybe I want to get to know you, Cassie.’
‘What-a complete loon who has severe arachnophobia and is currently in the midst of some kind of nervous breakdown?’
‘Sounds intriguing,’ she grinned, getting to her feet. ‘I’ll be back in five minutes,’ she told me. ‘Get dry and comfortable. I’ll join you soon.’
I watched her go with a strange sense of disbelief. It was odd to me for someone to be that interested in getting to know me…especially someone so intriguing.
I did as Alex said, and went to the bedroom to dry myself and my hair. I was still soaking wet from the hot tub and was quickly getting cold. I dressed in pyjamas and then a jumper over the top to keep warm. When I was done, I headed back out to the lounge and sat down on the sofa in a stupor. I felt numb, and that wasn’t normal for me.