by Shona Husk
‘It is. But hey, if we’d been honest it would never have got as far as it did.’
He smiled, the one she recognised that lit up his brown eyes and made her melt on the inside. ‘Also true. If I’d known you were going to be on my boat I wouldn’t have … any other boat, however.’ One eyebrow lifted in suggestion.
‘Well, we’re stuck together for the moment. So that’s it.’ She shrugged. Why couldn’t she have been posted on one of the other six boats? They were going to have to deal with it like grown-ups and move on.
‘That’s going to be fun.’ The way he said it suggested it was going to be anything but.
She’d already reached that conclusion. It was going to be weird at best.
‘We can be friends. We can go out in a group.’ They didn’t have to avoid each other totally, the way she’d initially planned. Besides, that might have been a little hard once they actually went to sea.
He huffed out a breath. ‘Watch what you say to Blue. He’s pretty sharp.’
‘Will do.’ She took a step forward to open her car door then glanced over her shoulder. She needed to know how he’d ended up being called Sweetlips. What kind of person was he? So far he wasn’t behaving the way she’d expected. ‘So how did you get your nickname?’
‘That is a story for over a beer.’
‘That bad?’ She watched him closely.
He gave a half-hearted laugh. ‘No, nothing bad but it’s a story. And better than Judy which I had all through recruit and cat school.’
‘Sweetlips gives the girls the wrong impression.’
He frowned as if trying to work it out and she got into her car.
He put his hand on her car door before she could shut it. ‘Whatever you were thinking that’s not it, trust me. I don’t fuck around on the boat, or anywhere.’
She nodded, not sure she believed him considering the way they’d started out.
‘Seriously, you were an exception, and one I’d make again.’ He shut her door as she wound down the window. ‘I’ll see you around, Milly.’ His lips quirked up at the corners.
She started her engine. That had gone better than expected, or worse, depending on how she looked at it. He still wanted to see her. And she still wanted to see him.
Can’t happen. Although this time she heard the echo around the words as her resolve started to weaken. Kurt was the first guy in a long time to actually kick-start her sex drive and keep it running with just a smile.
Chapter 7
Whenever Kurt was on the boat, he was aware that she was also on the boat. And he envied Blue working with her all the time. It was about the only thing he envied about Blue. Blue’s on again/off again girlfriend had stitched him up and wound him around her little finger.
Kurt needed to get his head straight and stop thinking about Rainy and what had happened and what couldn’t happen. The last thing the boat needed was the Submarine Training Group, STG, coming down running evolutions and then failing the boat. When there were fake fires to fight and fake floods to stop, everyone had something to do. Even the cooks.
It was training that saved lives when pipes ruptured at sea or the boat started taking on water. It had happened. He was glad it hadn’t happened on a boat he was on. When they were underway, he tried not to think about the amount of water above them.
The confined space didn’t bother him, or the lack of privacy and the long hours— unlike everyone else, he and the other cook worked twelve on, twelve off. No, if he stopped to think, it was the knowledge that a boat was already under water and halfway sunk.
He’d spent a dull weekend trying not to imagine the date he could’ve been on. And now he was thinking of all the things he wouldn’t be able to do with her while they were away for four months. That was going to be torture.
He stowed some more tins, tucking them carefully away to make sure they were going to have plenty of room for supplies. Even when they were only sailing for a week they took extra, in case something happened. And he had to make sure it was all onboard and ready to go.
Someone slapped the door to the galley but didn’t come in. ‘Drinks on Friday?’
‘Yeah, where?’ Last drinks before STG come down and they start two weeks of hell.
‘That fancy bar in Secret Harbour. Smithy chose it so he can walk home.’ LSET Giles leaned in the doorway. He and Watson were often the last two propping up the bar. Usually he didn’t run with the heavy-drinking crowd as it led to trouble, but Watson and Giles never got into fights and they were fun to be around. Even up top in the various Asian ports there’d never been any trouble.
Kurt pulled his head out of the cupboard. ‘He would.’ But he’d never actually seen Smithy get totally skittled either.
‘Still better than sitting around onboard.’
Or at home. ‘Who else is going?’
‘Chief said to round up as many as possible.’
‘So it’s really compulsory fun?’ Also known as team building and bonding, navy-style.
‘If I’d said that you wouldn’t have agreed.’ Giles smiled and leaned in a little closer. ‘Word is Carob came back from leave single and that’s why she’s been so pissy.’
‘Ouch, she’d been expecting ring.’
Giles nodded. ‘In other news, the new MT trainee is a fine piece of do-not-touch and the other one can’t shut his mouth.’
Obviously he wasn’t the only man to notice Rainy, but noticing was as far as it went; and for most, curiosity to see what she was like and where she’d fit. No doubt Rainy was used to that, this wasn’t her first dance.
‘How do you ever get anything done?’ If there was gossip on the boat Giles knew it first.
‘I just stopped by for coffee … which I will now go and make since you aren’t interested in learning about what is going on.’
‘Oh I’m interested, but I wonder what you say about me to other people.’ That wasn’t an idle comment, especially now. Giles might be a friend, but would that make him keep his mouth shut or would he be unable to help himself if he discovered what had happened between Kurt and Rainy? Kurt suspected that when it came to gossip Giles didn’t engage his brain before letting his tongue loose.
‘The day I dig some dirt on you will be gold. You’re as hard to crack as Lieutenant Bedford. I can guarantee she won’t be coming on Friday.’
‘She has two kids and a husband. Between that and the boat I’m surprised she has time to do anything but sleep.’ As officers went, she was okay. Did the work, kept her people in line and that was it. That she somehow managed to remain married was amazing. Kurt would love to know how she did it. Both the Captain and the XO were divorced. Although he was pretty sure he’d heard a whisper that Commander Fisher was seeing someone.
The boat was an incestuous place, no place for secrets. He tried to push Rainy out of his mind, only to find her firmly stuck there. It was going to be a very long four months.
***
When the boat was alongside, he didn’t have to cook as they ate at the junior sailors mess on Stirling. Somehow he ended up sitting at a table with Giles, Watson and Miller at lunch. He’d done really well avoiding her in most situations; however, avoiding her now would be rather more obvious than sitting. Blue was making his way over. Kurt wasn’t sure if he should be happy that Rainy was sliding into his group of friends or not. He wanted to think of it was a good thing. Friends. But they could only be friends if the lust didn’t spill over.
And right now it seemed that he was the only one with the problem. She was too busy talking to Emily Watson, one of the electronic warfare specialists, to even notice that he’d sat down.
When he’d spoken to Rainy last week by their cars, he could’ve sworn there’d been a glimmer in her eyes, but maybe it had been the sun in his.
‘How’s your trainee going, What-the?’ Kurt cut across the table to speak to Watson. Not everyone had a dumb nickname, some were just abbreviations of their surname. Watson and he probably had the worst on the boat. A
nd the ones that required explanation.
Emily rolled her eyes. ‘Like a trainee. No offence, Milly.’
‘None taken. I keep getting told that my years as a skimmer don’t count for anything.’ She shook her head, but she was smiling. For a moment she glanced at him and her smile widened, then she was back to all business while his skin heated and he tried to forget the places she’d touched him.
‘And don’t you forget it.’ Blue sat down.
‘What-the, how’d did you get that?’ Rainy … Milly, he corrected, raised her eyebrows. She had to be Milly or Miller at work. He couldn’t think of her as Rainy. Because Rainy was only too willing to take him to bed, or had been. The irritation surfaced again. He knew why there were fraternisation rules and he understood how tensions formed and could bubble over in such a close environment. It was bad enough when personalities clashed, but lovers having a spat would be bad. However, that didn’t stop him from resenting the brakes that had been applied to whatever had been happening with Rainy.
Watson finished explaining how she got her nickname and Rainy’s gaze turned to him. ‘I have to know, Sweetlips isn’t exactly obvious.’ The corner of her lips curved in a smile that he was sure was for him.
‘Don’t believe a word he says.’ Blue grinned. ‘He’ll make up some boring story about a fishing charter up north.’
‘Fuck you.’ There was no way he was going to let Blue make up some bullshit story. It had already been hard enough to convince Rainy that it didn’t come from being a player. ‘It was a fishing charter. I was the first one … no, the only one to catch a fish that day and it was a sweetlips snapper. Because Blue has always fancied me he gave me the nickname.’ Kurt made kissy lips at Blue, knowing it would piss him off.
‘Like I said, some boring story about a fishing charter. Those lips are made for lying.’
‘Like yours, Blue.’
‘Oh, you’re so funny.’ Blue turned to Rainy. ‘You haven’t asked about mine? I’m the person you need to suck up to.’
‘You have red hair.’ She shrugged because the root of his nickname was obvious. Lots of guys with red hair got called Blue.
Blue shook his head. ‘I need a better nickname.’
There was a little silence as they ate, around them the noise of the mess hall continued. For the most part, having Rainy at the table was no different to any other day. But where Emily was Watson, or What-the—which had simply formed because what-the-fuck had once been her favourite expression—he was aware that Rainy was female and different. He wanted to look over and catch her attention but didn’t let himself. He wasn’t going to let anyone know how much desire was burning in his body for Miller.
He’d promised her that no one would find out from him and he intended to keep that promise. Maybe then something could happen, after all, there was still a fifty-fifty chance he’d be getting out. It wouldn’t be long until Smithy asked him what his plans were.
He still had no idea.
He had workups to think about, menus to write, supplies to arrange, budgets to stick to. He didn’t have time to think about what he was going to do. That was the trap. It was easier to stay. But the trap was starting to tighten and bite into his flesh. How long until he chewed his leg off to break free?
Rainy stood; she and Watson were getting ready to walk back to the boat.
‘Coming, Sweetlips, or are you going to keep Blue company?’ Watson looked at him. He had been going to stay and the words were on his lips until Rainy glanced at him.
‘Fuck off, I’ll be done in five,’ Blue said between bites.
‘Well, since you put it like that.’ Kurt stood. ‘I’ll walk back with the girls.’
It was nice to be in the wintery sun with Rainy walking next to him even if he couldn’t touch her and push the strand of dark hair behind her ear. Kiss her ear. Maybe if they’d had that second date he’d have gotten her out of his system.
Now she was stuck, he’d never enjoyed having a splinter so much.
Chapter 8
First invitation to after-work drinks. She’d been glad to get invited. For all of Tasker’s grumbling about skimmers and how she’d wasted eight years of service on the surface, he was actually a decent enough guy. And he’d made sure to let her know that this wasn’t really an optional event and that it would be in her best interest to attend. Like she was going to refuse. Aside from doing her job, social occasions were the way to slide into the crew. Which is why she had changed onboard into jeans, shirt and jacket and was now parked near the fancy bar that was also part restaurant.
Just because it was expected didn’t change the nerves that jumped in her stomach. Working with people didn’t always reveal what they were actually like—nor did it reveal what they’d be like when they got out of Australia and on shore leave in a foreign port.
It had been accidental that she’d made friends with the people who seemed to be Kurt’s friends.
Emily had taken the time to introduce herself and the women on Ellis over coffee. Emily, however, didn’t seem to be one the ‘us girls have to stick together type’. Emily was much more one of the boys, which was how things had usually played out for Rainy too. Probably because she worked with guys. She could count on one hand the number of female MTs she’d worked with over eight years.
Rainy crossed the parking lot, well aware that Kurt would be there. Had it only been three weeks since they’d met? Two since they’d slept together? It felt like longer, much longer.
Every time she went into the mess on the boat to make coffee her heart skipped a beat in the hope that she’d see him. Which of course she rarely did. By pure chance they’d been at the same table at lunch and it had been hard to find the balance between ignoring him and paying him attention. She had to be friendly, but she was second-guessing every move. She had to keep him at arm’s length even though she wanted to grab his collar and draw him close. It would be different kissing him while he was clean-shaven.
None of which was going to happen tonight.
An icy breeze tugged at her hair and the sky was heavy with rain clouds, causing premature dusk. She jogged up the steps and pushed open the door.
It wasn’t hard to spot the Ellis crew, but there were definitely less than fifty of them. She didn’t see any officers, and several others were missing. How much of this was an excuse to get out and play up before the workups started?
Ah well, it didn’t matter. She was here and it was nice to be out.
Nice to see Kurt out of uniform.
Which immediately made her think of him out of all clothing. She blamed the rush of heat to her cheeks on the warmth of the bar.
Kurt saw her and waved her over. He was sitting with Tasker, Giles and Watson and several others from the MT, ET and EW departments, including Hessey. She bit back the sigh. Sometimes socialising with colleagues wasn’t great; she saw enough of them all day.
But glancing at Kurt and seeing his smile as he brought the beer to his lips was enough to make her wish this happened more often, if only so she could see more of him.
Friends, nothing more.
She wanted more though. If she’d seen him in uniform first, would she have still felt the attraction? She didn’t usually find men in uniform hot—probably as a defence against getting entangled in a workplace relationship that couldn’t happen.
She dragged a stool over and Tasker bought her a beer.
‘Because you haven’t fucked anything up in your first two weeks.’ Tasker almost handed the beer to her. ‘You fuck up while SGT is on the boat and you owe me a beer.’
‘Understood, Tasker.’ She took the beer, hoping she would get through the workups unscathed.
‘Blue is fine. I might get confused if someone actually used my real name.’
She almost smiled. Her first impression of him had been right. Decent guy. She nodded and risked a glance at Kurt. His gaze flicked up from his beer before darting away.
There was no way she could sit here and not look a
t him. She turned to the person next to her and joined in the conversation. Determined not to think about how close Kurt was or if he was looking at her or what he was thinking.
Conversation ebbed around the usual topics. The boat, boyfriends or girlfriends or wives and kids.
And she answered the usual questions. No she didn’t have a partner. No kids. Lives in Fremantle—that drew some envious sighs. She left out mentioning Sunny and Lily. Then it turned to home states. Most were from the east coast, including Kurt. When she confessed to being a sandgroper it was met with more shakes of the head.
‘So you joined subs to be posted home.’ Kurt said with a smile.
‘And the extra pay.’ Rainy countered. Sometimes it was easier to agree.
‘Well we sure as hell don’t do it for love and respect.’ Tasker beckoned a waitress and ordered another. Kurt put down some money and drained his glass. It appeared there was some serious drinking planned for tonight.
She could go after one. She’d stopped in and done her bit … and yet, as others made their excuses, she didn’t want to. Not yet.
Before his beer arrived, Tasker stood up. The cigarette he always had in his uniform pocket was pulled out of his jacket pocket. ‘I need to go and inhale some second-hand smoke.’
Rainy shook her head. ‘That’s as bad for you as smoking.’
‘Yeah, but I always promised I’d quit before I had kids. I never promised to stop standing around and inhaling the smoke.’ Then he walked out of the bar.
That was definitely weird. ‘He has kids?’
‘One on the way.’
She frowned. He hadn’t mentioned a partner the whole time she’d been working with him. ‘He doesn’t seem thrilled.’
Kurt grimaced. ‘Let’s call it a happy accident.’
Given Blue’s lack of happy talk about the baby and Kurt’s reaction that was far from the truth, however she was still too new to feel right pressing for gossipy details. Giles would know, which meant that Emily would know, as they seemed to be friendly. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the details of her mentor’s life. There was such a thing as knowing too much and being too close. She tried to imagine keeping some privacy on the boat after months at sea … the Chief of the Boat seemed to manage it.