Jenna rested her hand on his arm. “I didn’t need you to say or fix anything.” She dropped her voice. “I just wanted you there. I wanted you beside me, holding my hand.”
He leaned his head back against the couch. “I’m so sorry. If I could change how I acted, I would.”
“But it’s not just that. When I had to start going to the high school, I was so excited because although I was afraid, my best friend would be there. But you ignored me. You’d walk past me in the hallway without even making eye contact. After spending time together almost every day for our entire lives, you pretended you didn’t know me.” Her voice shook. “Do you know how much that hurt?”
“I feel really bad about that.” He let the ice pack drop to the ground, and he eased forward. “I thought the other students, especially the guys I hung with, would make fun of you more if they knew how much I cared about you. I thought I was protecting you.”
“Again.” She tapped his arm. “I didn’t need you to protect me. I just wanted you there. With me.”
He placed his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. “I was such a jerk. There’s no explanation for it. I was a selfish, stupid teenage boy who wanted everyone to like me.”
Emboldened by the last few days they’d spent together and the sincerity lacing his words, Jenna tucked her hand under his chin and drew his face out of his hands so she could capture his gaze. “Except they didn’t actually know you, Toby. They liked that guy you pretended to be at school.”
“I know.” His fingers inched up her arm and took the hand away from his chin. He cradled it in both of his. “My whole life has been a huge parade with so many different masks. Every part of my life...except when I’m with you. You’re the only person who ever saw me, Jenna. I... I...”
Whatever he was trying to say, Jenna wasn’t sure if she was prepared for it.
She pressed her hand into his. “You didn’t just ignore me. I heard you making fun of the orchard and my dad when people asked you about it. And you called me Amish Lady!”
“That was a joke between us. I used to call you that when we were really young.” His brow scrunched. “That never bothered you before then.”
“But everyone at school heard you. People threw those white head caps at me in the hallway for the next two years. Someone broke into my locker and filled it with friendship-bread dough—it ruined all my books.” None of the things she was listing seemed like a big deal now, but to a shy sixteen-year-old girl who suddenly felt like she didn’t have a friend in the world, the teasing had shattered her. “On my birthday they left a pile of boxes at my locker full of those faceless rag dolls, and I never stopped getting teased about it. ‘Will your dad show up with a buggy, Jenna? Must have been cold last winter without electricity.’”
“I didn’t know it was ever that bad. You being angry with me makes total sense now. I’m angry with me.” He let go of her hand and pressed his fingers across his forehead so his eyes were shielded. “I failed you in every sense of the word.”
She kept her hand on his thigh, needing the connection while talking about the past. “It was as if you were ashamed of me. I think that’s what broke me the most.”
“Never.” He dropped his hand and scooted closer so there was no space between them. “I was never ashamed of you. I was ashamed of myself.” His eyes blazed with an intensity that warmed her. “That boy who did those things to you? I hated him—then and now. But believe me, I’m not him anymore. I would never do those—”
She put her fingers over his mouth. “I know,” she whispered. “I... I trust you, Toby. I’ve seen the changes in your life. You’re hardworking and obviously devoted to the orchard. It’s clear you look up to my dad. You care.”
He lightly removed her hand from his face and then flipped it palm up. “I care.” He placed a kiss on the exact spot where her wrist met her hand, and then he whispered, “More than you know.”
Warmth from his words feathered against her soft skin, raising goose bumps on her arms. Her heart felt like it was going to pound through her shirt.
“I forgive you.” Wow, her voice was embarrassingly breathy, but she couldn’t control it. Toby’s kiss had been the most romantic gesture she’d ever experienced. Her heart might never slow down.
“I don’t deserve it, but I’ll take it.” Toby wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. His chin nuzzled her hair. “From now on, I’ll always be there to hold your hand. Got it? Anytime you want me to.”
She tucked her head against his chest and carefully wrapped her arms around him for a prolonged hug. Tomorrow she’d reestablish the boundaries that kept them both safe. Because nestled against his heartbeat, it was easy to forget about not wanting to ever date or trust a man again.
Chapter Nine
Even though he was trying to get breakfast on the table as quickly as he could, Toby kept an eye on the staircase for any signs of Jenna. Usually she was the first up. He’d wander into the Crests’ house and find her sipping hazelnut coffee out of a gigantic colorful mug in the front room with her dad’s Bible draped across her knees.
It had become his favorite sight in the world.
Kasey yawned, flipped her long hair over her shoulder and examined the cards in her hands. “Got a grouper?”
Mr. Crest pursed his lips and lowered his eyebrows as he drew his cards closer to his face. “Looks like you’re going to have to go fish.”
“A lobster?” she asked.
“Kase.” Toby used a spatula to point at her. “Play by the rules, or don’t play at all.”
“Now, that’s a different story. I do have one of those.” Mr. Crest pushed the card with a happy dancing cartoon lobster on it across the table to her.
“Thanks, Mr. Crest.” She snatched it up and laid down her match. “You’re a pal.”
Toby turned back to the stovetop, shaking his head. Mr. Crest had become the quintessential indulgent grandpa, but Toby didn’t step in and make Kasey give the card back even though the fair way to play was for them to alternate asking about fish instead of Kasey getting to take two turns in a row. Those two had worked out a bond that he wasn’t about to infringe on. However, after witnessing Kasey lose it over his falling off the ladder yesterday, Toby knew it was time to sit down with Mr. Crest and Jenna and discuss what would become of Kasey if something ever did happen to him. The retirement facility in Florida where his parents lived didn’t allow children, and Sophia’s parents had both succumbed to health issues over the course of the last five years. Kasey’s father had abandoned Sophia while she was pregnant and given away his paternal rights, refusing to even meet his daughter.
Toby’s free hand fisted at his side. How could a man do that? So far, he’d had Kasey in his care for five months. The first four and a half had been spent at the apartment Kasey had grown up in, packing things up, saying goodbye to that life and grieving, and the last few weeks had been spent with the Crests. Toby loved Kasey. Loved her as if she were his own child and felt fiercely protective over her. It was her father’s loss. The man was like some pirate who had struck priceless treasure, buried it and forgotten about it when he went out sailing.
Would the Crests agree to be named as guardians when he wrote a will? Or would that be asking too much, too soon? Taking on the task of raising a child was a big deal—a lifelong one. And Jenna already had a lot on her plate with her father’s condition.
He broke a couple more eggs into the glass bowl. “How many do you think Jenna will eat?”
Mr. Crest swiveled in his chair. “Are you going to make bacon, too?”
“Scrambled eggs are nothing without bacon.” Toby poured cream into the eggs.
Kasey wiggled in her seat. “Do you make runny ones? I don’t like runny ones.”
“No, my dear.” He cracked his knuckles and s
tretched, playing up that it was all part of serious egg preparation. “I make excellent scrambled eggs. I know all the secrets.”
“Hold on.” She braced her hands on the table, her eyes widening. “There are secrets. Tell me.”
“Secret number one.” Toby held up the bowl. “Whip them a lot. Getting air into the mix makes them fluffy. Secret number two.” He turned on the burner. “Take the pan off the heat before they’re fully cooked. They keep cooking on their own—even when they’re on the plate—and that keeps them from getting rubbery.”
Mr. Crest scooped all the cards off the table and shuffled them back into the Go Fish box. “It’s safe to say I’ll never question your cooking abilities again.”
Toby chuckled. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
Kasey dropped her chin into her hand. “Jenna probably ate already.”
Toby sprinkled salt and pepper into the egg batter. “Honey, she couldn’t have eaten. She’s not up yet.”
Mr. Crest nodded. “She was out at the barn kitchen until late. I don’t know how late, because she was still in there baking when I went to bed around midnight. We should let her sleep in as long as her body needs. I can manage the store.”
“You’re not listening to me.” Kasey raised her voice. “She’s up. I know she is because she’s not in her room. I checked her bedroom before I came down. Her bed was made and everything.”
She hadn’t slept in her bed? But then where was she?
The whisk stilled in Toby’s hand. He clicked off the burner on the oven and turned around.
Mr. Crest motioned for him to skedaddle. “Go check, son. If my legs worked right, I’d be up those stairs already. You have my permission.”
Toby took the steps two at a time and flung open the door to Jenna’s room. Empty. No clothes on the ground, and Kasey was right, the bed didn’t even look slept in. He pounded back down the stairs. “She’s not there. I’m going to check the kitchen and shop.”
Her dad wrung his hands and looked off toward the door. “If you don’t find her there, start searching the property. This isn’t like her.”
Toby pointed at Kasey. “Stay here.”
He flung open the back door and jogged to the barn that housed the shop and industrial kitchen, passing Jenna’s car along the way. In fact, all the vehicles were accounted for. He fumbled with the knob to the front door of the shop before successfully making it inside. It was empty, too.
“Please be in the kitchen.” He shoved through the heavy door that separated the two areas. Flour dusted the middle island, a mountain of fresh baked goods littered the countertops, and the air smelled like cinnamon and caramel. But no Jenna.
He jogged back outside and scanned the area around the house. “Where are you?”
Toby kept a fast clip as he made his way into the orchard. There were benches and picnic tables spread across the property for customers to use when they visited. With so many acres making up the Crests’ land, she could literally be anywhere. He was halfway through the rows of trees when it hit him that he should have grabbed the golf cart. But he couldn’t think straight. Going back now would cost him time, and she could be just around the next bend or the one after that.
She was okay, right? She’d probably just gone for a walk. And not slept. And...
He stumbled and had to grab on to a low-hanging limb to keep his feet on the ground. Slow down. Worry was making him clumsy, and clumsy could cause him to miss a clue.
If something had happened to her—
“God? Help me find her. Please? This is probably nothing.” He swallowed hard, more emotion coating his words than he’d realized was there. “But Jenna means a lot to me. I think we both know she always has.”
He stepped over the deer fencing and ventured out into the wooded part of the Crest property. Mr. Crest had always talked about expanding the orchard out into the wild areas they owned, but even when they were children, Jenna had begged him to keep the woods as they were. It looked like Jenna had won that battle. Toby passed the site of their old clubhouse. A part of the structure was still up in the trees, but it looked rotted through. She wasn’t up there.
“Jenna!” he called.
He circled back toward the small pond located on the edge of the property. When he’d started his search, he hadn’t figured it would take this long. He was sure he’d find her out already picking apples, and they’d laugh about her starting the day so early. Or at one of the picnic tables with her Bible, wanting to enjoy the fresh morning air. But it seemed she was simply...gone.
Toby had known life with Jenna again for only a few weeks, and just the thought that he wouldn’t get to spend some time with her this morning was causing his heart to pound frantically against his rib cage.
But she was okay. She had to be.
He brushed through the last of the tree line and scanned the area by the pond. There. Curled on a bench swing built to face the pond, with a blanket tucked around her, Jenna looked like she was asleep. The swing slowly rocked her in the chilly morning breeze. Toby braced his hand on a nearby tree, only now noticing that he was out of breath and his limbs were shaky. The place where he’d injured his knee in that game, years ago, ached, too. But none of that mattered.
She was safe. She was fine.
“Thank you,” he whispered before rounding the bench to stand in front of it. He studied her for a moment, sunlight traced over her eyelashes, making her blond hair shine. His heart squeezed with a warm flush of relief and something else. And there, as morning light poured over them, realization hit Toby as hard as a linebacker tackling him.
He was in love with Jenna Crest.
Not just because she was beautiful—which she was. Far more than attraction gave her a place in his heart. Jenna was kind, encouraging and hardworking. He became someone he liked when Jenna was around—she brought out Toby’s best. Despite the fact that she knew the worst about him, she’d still sat on the couch beside him yesterday, hugging him. A good day in his book included charming a smile out of her, and a great day was one when he made her laugh. It was possible he’d always been in love with her and had been too stupid to acknowledge it.
While he wanted to stand there pondering his revelation, he realized that would be selfish. He had to get her back to her father’s house—Mr. Crest and Kasey would be worried.
Toby dropped down to one knee and rested his hands on the edge of the bench to stop it from rocking in the wind. “Jenna,” he whispered. “Hey, sweetheart, you need to wake up.”
She moaned and rolled over so her back was to him. “So tired. Just...fell...to...sleep.”
Had she pulled an all-nighter in the kitchen? She should have told him. He would have stayed up and helped. He wasn’t much of a baker, but he would happily give up a night of rest to spend time with her.
Wow, and he’d just realized he was in love.
Man...he was slow.
He peeled back the dew-coated blanket and then leaned and lifted her arm so it wrapped over his neck. He tucked one of his arms under her knees and another behind her back and picked her up. Jenna’s body curved into his automatically, her head dropping against the place where his shoulder and chest met. Sweet scents of everything she’d baked drifted over them. She still had her eyes closed, but her arms tightened around him to connect in a loop around his neck as he carried her, letting him know she wasn’t fully asleep.
“You can relax. I got you.” He kept his voice quiet and tried to control his emotions. As puffs of her breath landed on his neck and her curls swayed back and forth over his arm, it took all of the self-control he possessed not to bend down and kiss her.
“You came,” she whispered.
He glanced down. Her eyes were still closed. Was she awake? Or talking in her sleep?
It didn’t matter. Now that he knew he loved this woman,
he’d speak the truth, even when it scared him. “I’ll always come for you. I’ve let you down in the past, but I won’t again.”
Her head drooped against his chest. She rubbed her cheek against his heartbeat, as if she was rooting around for warmth or simply enjoyed the sound.
Toby swallowed hard.
His knee throbbed, but he continued down between two rows of trees in the orchard. In this area, the trees’ branches still hung heavy with apples. He’d need to focus the team on harvesting this portion of the orchard today.
Jenna sighed. “I always thought...”
“You always thought what?” He ducked under a low-hanging limb.
“Our wedding...here...the...orchard.”
Toby stopped walking and looked down at her. She had to be asleep. Especially with the stilted way she was talking.
Our wedding.
At some point in her life, she’d thought about marrying him?
He shouldn’t... Maybe it was terrible, but he couldn’t help himself from asking questions.
He tightened his hold on her and started moving again. “When we get married, you wanted to have the wedding in the orchard?”
She nodded against him. His treacherous heart, pounding out a double-time march in his chest, was bound to wake her up.
So, she’d thought about getting married when they were teens? Or thought it now? “When?”
“Spring’s...nice.”
The season was not the answer he was looking for.
But he’d play along. That was the right thing to do when someone was sleep-talking, right? Play along as to not alarm them? “It is. With all the trees blooming.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
He licked his lips. “What about fall? This season. Now?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Now. S’good...too.”
Her words rocked through him. Did Jenna love him? Yes. Now. Could she, after everything? And if she did, what did that mean for them? For Kasey and her father?
Apple Orchard Bride Page 11