by Gina Ranalli
“I’m not going out there,” Ago says, punching the elevator buttons, trying to get the door to close.
Katina pushes past us, and goes out into the hallway. “This isn’t real,” she yells at us, grinning like a lunatic. “This can’t be real! Don’t you guys get it? It’s like…a dream or…”
A shadow—moving fast—slams into her and explodes on impact. At the same exact instant, any meager light source out there is extinguished.
Out of all of us, Ago is the one who screams.
“What in the name of holy hell was that?” Lithia asks.
I jump out of the elevator to the place where Katina just was, expecting to have to run in either direction, either to avoid something or to search for her. Instead, I trip on something and almost fall. I manage to keep my balance but from somewhere in the gloom on the floor Katina yells, “Ouch! Watch where the fuck you’re walking!”
“Sorry,” I say, reaching down to where her voice came from, offering her a hand up.
“Trust me,” she says. “You don’t want to touch me. Oh, fuck, it smells like….it smells like shit! That thing that hit me was made of shit!”
The lights flicker, threaten to go out again, but stay on, at least for the time being.
Katina struggles to her feet and sure enough, she appears to be covered in shit. Smells like it, too.
From inside the elevator, Lithia says, “Oh yeah. I heard of those dung devils before. Never believed they really existed but I guess they do.” She chuckles dryly, takes a drag off her cigarette and then starts hacking. She coughs so long and loud that Jane 62 exits the elevator with a disgusted look on her face. Not an easy accomplishment, considering she barely has features.
From behind a nearby door, someone lets out a wrenching scream that makes us all jump.
“This is where people get murdered over and over again,” Jane 62 says nervously.
Ago cringes in the corner of the elevator and says, “This hotel blows. I’m glad I’m not paying to stay here.”
“Oh, you’re paying sweetheart,” Lithia coughs. “We’re all paying plenty.”
As if in response to Lithia’s statement, the elevator begins to shake violently, bouncing around the two of them still inside. Ago falls down and then scrambles out on all fours, his eyes rolling with fear. Lithia seems less alarmed and manages to keep her balance, stepping out into the hall with the rest of us, a sour expression on her face.
“Piece of shit,” she growls at the elevator.
The moment it’s empty, the box ceases its shaking and the door slides shut with a clanking thud. Ago immediately begins punching the up button and says, “Sorry, ladies, but even Purgatory is better than this.”
But the elevator ignores him, refusing to open, and then it is promptly forgotten as a tremendous wind blasts us, blowing our hair and reeking of crap. We all turn as one to see the dung devil, easily as tall as me, round the corner, heading straight towards us.
A shit cyclone, splattering the walls and everything in its path with feces.
“That one is bigger,” Katina shouts, turning and fleeing in the opposite direction. It doesn’t take the rest of us long to follow suit, bolting down the hall with the dung devil at our heels, stinking of a Hell we never knew existed.
In the lead, Katina abruptly slams to a halt and dashes inside the nearest room, which is, thankfully, unlocked. We all make it inside and slam the door just as the shit twister is passing on the other side.
“Hey, sorry about barging in, man,” Ago says turning to face the inside of the room. “We were just—aw, fuck!”
The room we’ve just jumped blindly into is littered with dead babies…or, rather, pieces of dead babies. A tiny arm here, a foot over there, various heads, all in different stages of decomposition. Baby parts strewn over the floor, the bed, the desk. There are pieces nailed to the walls and ceiling, like props in some especially gruesome movie. The man standing in the center of the room is naked and holding something in his hands at crotch level, his hips pumping back and forth.
I blink rapidly, certain that I can’t be seeing what I think I’m seeing, but Katina’s gagging assures me that my eyes are indeed telling the truth: the guy is standing there fucking a baby’s head, slamming his dick into the neck stump over and over, his eyes screwed shut and sweat pouring down his face in rivulets.
“Jesus, God,” Lithia whispers and Katina starts to scream.
Chapter 12
The screaming is what breaks the man’s trance and he opens his bloodshot eyes to look at us, and then he adds to the screaming himself. “I can’t stop!” he wails as his hips keep pumping, the muscles of his ass clenching and unclenching. “I can’t stop! Can’t stoooop!”
I feel my stomach lurch and reach behind me to open the door. Dung devil or not, I’m getting out of this nightmare.
I manage to make it into the hallway before I puke into a slimy trail of shit that travels up the hall and around the corner. The path of the dung devil.
The others are around me a moment later and someone pats my back. I look over my shoulder to see Jane 62 watching me and shaking her head. “Humans,” she says. I wait for more but then realize that is her entire statement on the subject: just “humans.” Her face remains expressionless, but her tone is one of sad disgust, and I can only turn back to the task at hand and continue throwing up my guts.
“We have to get off this floor,” Ago says, sounding a little green himself. Katina is freely weeping now, Lithia supporting her with an arm around her waist.
“There has to be stairs,” Jane 62 says. “In one direction or the other.”
“Maybe we should split up and look for them,” Ago suggests.
“No!” Katina and I shout at once. We exchange a glance and know we’ve both seen all the same horror movies where splitting up is never a good idea.
Ago looks vaguely annoyed but says, “Okay. But either way, we’d better get moving before another one of those shit storms comes around.”
“They’re the tumbleweeds of Hell,” Jane 62 says quietly, almost to herself.
Lithia ignores her and says to Ago, “Before the lights go out again too.”
“Right.” He looks down the hall, first one way then the other and finally shrugs. “Does anyone have a preference?”
I also look in both directions before pointing to our right. “So far, the dung devils have been traveling that way. I’d rather have them at our back than run into them headfirst.”
Everyone agrees that this makes sense, so we start off that way, leaving the dead baby fucker’s screams behind us.
We round the corner and pass a few more doors with weird sounds emanating from behind them, but we keep moving until we see a figure approaching from the opposite direction. The distance and flickering lights make the person hard to make out at first, but it quickly becomes clear that it’s a tall thin male, walking slowly, his face tipped towards the floor, apparently watching his shoes.
No one says anything at first, all of us silently dreading whatever it is that we might run into next, but the closer we get to the approaching man, the less threatening he seems until finally he looks up and, seeing us, stops.
“Don’t ask me for any favors,” he says, “because I’m fresh out.”
Ago and I look at each other warily but continue walking with the others behind us. “Is this the way to the stairs?” I ask the guy.
He makes an irritated sound. “What the fuck did I just say? Are you fucking deaf?”
Now that we’re closer, I can see he’s just a skinny Goth guy, dressed in a black see-through net shirt and black pants. His hair is jet-black and spiked and he’s wearing black nail polish.
We reach him and stop. “There’s no need to be rude,” I say. “It was just a question.”
The Goth snorts at me, then looks over my shoulder at Lithia. “You got another one of those smokes I could bum?”
“No!” she snaps at him with such ferociousness that we all look at her. “Why don’t you
ask one of your minions?” she asks him. “Or is there no cancer in Hell?”
Puzzled we all turn back to the guy, who looks genuinely wounded. And tired. There are sagging gray bags beneath his eyes, which happen to be painted with thick lines of black eyeliner. “Fine.” He waves a dismissive hand. “Fuck you too.”
“Why don’t you introduce yourself to everyone, Lucy?” Lithia says. “No need to be shy.”
“Wait,” I say, looking the skinny guy up and down. “You’re Lucifer? As in…” I stop myself, remembering how he doesn’t like to be called the devil. “As in, er…the dark prince?”
He makes a face at me and sighs heavily. “Not what you were expecting? My pitchfork is in the shop right now.”
I frown. Who would have thought that Satan would be so snotty?
“Wow,” Katina says, fully recovered from the sight of dead baby bits. “Damn, you’re fucking hot!”
Lucifer looks at her and smiles slightly. I’m suddenly alarmed to see that he is actually amazingly handsome, if you can get past all the make-up and ridiculous outfit. He looks like a movie star when he smiles.
“You’re pretty hot yourself,” Lucifer tells Katina. “What’s your name?”
“She’s fifteen,” I bark at him, as if he would care.
The smile slips off his face and he regards me with obvious dislike. “Who are you? Her mother?”
Pushing past him, I ask “Is this the way to the stairs? We’re in a hurry.”
Lucy laughs bitterly. “In a hurry, huh? To go where? To do what? Don’t you morons get it? You’re stuck here now. With me!”
“That’s bullshit,” I say. “They said we couldn’t leave our own floors, too, but we did.”
Ago gives me a nudge and whispers, “Knock it off, Pogue. You don’t want to piss him off. He’s the devil, remember?”
“I heard that!” Lucifer shouts. “Oh, screw you guys. This is what I get for trying to be nice.” He squeezes by everyone and continues on his way down the hall.
“He was trying to be nice?” I wonder aloud.
Katina chases after him, asking, “So, what do you do for fun around here?”
The rest of us give each other worried looks and follow behind the two, watching as Lucy drapes an arm around Katina’s shoulders. “Oh, you know,” he says. “A little of this, a little of that. Want to see my room?”
“NO!” I shout, catching up and tugging at Katina’s wrist. “She does not want to see your room. Come on, Katina. This guy is a loser.”
“Not to mention the anti-Christ,” Lithia adds from behind me.
Lucifer lets out a huge sigh, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. “Don’t be jealous. You can come too. All of you can. Besides, we’re here already.”
A door opens in the wall where before there was nothing, leading into a room lit with a warm golden light.
“Fucking cool!” Katina barges forward, completely fearless, and crosses the threshold. My breath catches in my throat, waiting for whatever horrible thing is about to happen.
But nothing does.
Chapter 13
From the hall, we watch Katina bounce on a king-size bed, exclaiming, “It’s a water-bed! Oh my God, you guys have to see this.” Then she bounces off the bed and disappears from sight.
Smiling innocently, Lucy says, “See? Nothing to be afraid of. I know I have a bad reputation, but it’s really quite undeserved.”
“Whatever you say, pal,” Lithia snorts as she enters the room in search of Katina.
“Don’t go in there!” Ago calls, too late. He gives me a helpless look. “We’re screwed now.”
“Don’t be such pussies,” Lucifer says, waving us into the room after him. “I won’t bite.”
Ago, Jane 62 and I stand in the hall, debating with looks alone until I say, “Well, fuck it. I’m not leaving Katina in there.”
I go inside and find Katina gazing out the window on the far side of the room. She glances at me and says, “Check this out.”
Joining her, I look out to see the moon. Not riding high in the night sky, as one would expect, but right below us, as though the hotel is on the moon. Dusty white craters of every imaginable size make up what should have been a lush green lawn lit with garden lamps.
“Like the view?” Lucy asks from behind us. “If not, I can change it.”
“That won’t be necessary,” I say. “We’re not staying. Come on, Katina.”
By now Lithia is seated at the little dining table, tapping her cigarette into a crystal ashtray, while Jane 62 and Ago are examining framed photographs decorating one wall.
“Is this when you were little?” Ago asks, pointing to a random picture.
Lucifer peers over Ago’s shoulder and grunts without interest.
Curiosity gets the best of me and I join them at the wall. Sure enough, there are photos of a young man who can only be Lucifer, at least how we know him at the moment. “Why are you standing with your arm around that big worm?” I ask, pointing.
“Ah.” Lucy has wandered into the bathroom, but now comes out again, shaking pills into his hand from a brown plastic bottle. “That’s me with my dad.”
“Your dad?” Ago balks. “You mean…”
“Yep. The one and only.” At our disgusted faces, he says, “Oh, he takes on whatever shape amuses him at any given moment. That day it was a giant worm.”
We puzzle over this for a few seconds until the pills draw my attention. “What are those?”
He shakes the bottle at me. “Xanax. Want one?”
“I do!” Katina trots over, holding out her hand.
At my suspicious look, Lucifer says, “Doctor prescribed, I can assure you. Don’t look so amazed. Is it so shocking that I fight a battle against depression and anxiety just like everyone else? Do you have even an inkling of what it’s like to be me? Of the pressure I am constantly under?” He absently hands the bottle to Katina and then moves back next to Ago to gaze at the photos and shake his head sadly. “I used to be his favorite, you know. He used to say I was his most beautiful angel, and I was too.”
“Save the pity party for someone who’ll fall for it,” I say. I give Katina a worried glance, watching her dry swallow a couple pills, but then I shrug it off. She’s already dead. What harm could really come to her?
Which brings me to a question that has been lingering in my mind since I woke up in that river of ice. “Are we ghosts, Lucy?”
He turns away from the wall of photographs, his expression blank. “I beg your pardon?”
“We’re either ghosts or zombies, right? I mean, we are dead, but at the same time, this feels exactly like being alive.”
“I’m not dead,” Jane 62 pipes in. “At least, I don’t think I am.”
“I’m dead,” Lithia says. “Deader than ten day old dog shit is what I am.”
“How should I know what you are?” Lucy says. “Do I look like some all-knowing, all-seeing son of fucking God to you?”
Lithia makes a clucking sound with her tongue. “Why so snippy, demon beast? Sounds like jealousy to me.”
“Don’t call me that! And I’m not jealous of anyone!”
“Sounds like you are.”
“Well, I’m not!”
“Stop bickering,” I tell both of them. “Shit, it was a simple question. Sorry I assumed you would know the answer, Lucifer.”
“He doesn’t know shit,” Lithia says, sneering behind her cloud of smoke.
“Fuck you!” Lucy snaps. He looks furious, but not the kind of furious where you’re struggling not to murder someone. The kind of furious where you’re struggling not to cry.
“My,” Lithia taunts. “So sensitive.”
Lucifer ignores her and snatches his pill bottle out of Katina’s hands. “Gimmie that. I need it more than you do.”
Several seconds pass, all of us afraid to say anything. Except for Lithia, that is. She just goes right on snickering to herself.
Finally, once Lucy has taken a few more
pills, he appears to calm down and gives me a serious look. “You’ll probably have to ask Jay what you are.”
“Jay?” I raise an eyebrow.
“You know….Jay!”
Scratching my head, I open my mouth to speak, but Katina interrupts. “Jesus!” she blurts. “Jesus fucking Christ!”
“You got it, sister,” Lucy says, flopping into an arm chair, his face bored. “But I’d leave out the ‘fucking’ if I were you. You’ll ruin his whole day if you say that to him.”
“Him?” I ask, not knowing if I’m getting the concept of what they’re talking about. “Who him?” Everyone looks at me like I’m retarded. “Okay, fine. I just wanted to be sure.”
“Where can we find Jay?” Ago asks the devil.
Lucy waves his hand impatiently toward the ceiling. “He’s where he always is, up there somewhere, where else? He would never soil his reputation by coming down here to visit the damned, even though they could certainly use an uplifting word or two now and then. Much more so than those fat old farts sitting pretty in their fucking marble Jacuzzis.”
“He’s here?” I ask. “In the hotel?”
“Of course! You think he’d miss all this fun?” Lucy laughs dryly at the prospect.
“I want to meet Jesus!” Katina exclaims excitedly, bouncing up and down on her toes. “Can we? Please?”
I look at the others, who all shrug. “I don’t see why not,” I tell her.
“Sweet,” Katina says. She’s grinning from ear to ear until her eyes fall back to Lucifer sitting in his chair, numbing out on Xanax. “Why don’t you come with us, Lucy?”
Four mouths open, screeching protest, but Lucy sits there calmly, his eyes vaguely amused. He doesn’t speak until we’re all finished with our objections and then he says, “Why, thank you, Katina. I think I will join you. I haven’t seen Jay in quite some time, now that I think about it.”
“You’re just trying to spite us,” Lithia growls at him.
He gives her his winning smile, his black, black eyes flashing with mischief. “That’s exactly correct, old woman. Exactly correct.”